Writing Death of my best friend...

[Vicky]

This is just a short, sad story. And...it's true.:bawl:

I sat next to my best friend in the world, knowing that it was luckys last sleep. For I knew...that when she slept, she would not wake up. The sun sone on her black coat as she struggled to keep her green eyes open. She crossed her black paw over the other. I began to cry, but I suddenly wiped away the tears. I looked back into the pasted...when I found lucky....
I saw a cat in a bush, maowing for food. Thats when I gave the little cat some food. Then she wouldn't go away, so I kept her. I have had her for 9 years. She had surrvived a fire and a flood. I looked down at her. She was moments away from...death. I remebered her cat fight! She got into a fight with a ginger cat, and came in with a strach on her back. I then placed my on her heart. I then forgot all the bad things, and remebered all of the best times. I then noticed a blanket. I got up and walked to get it, but the blanket was wet, so I went up stairs. I found a pached cover, luckys first cover. I went down stairs to lucky. I felt her heart...Then...I felt like my heart stoped...Because...Luckys heart had stoped.........
She looked so peaceful. I then cried.

The next day, I buried lycky...Alone. I was really going to miss her. She was the only thing that understood me. My best friend,my only cat, Had pasted on. Her life came to an end on monday. Bye lucky.... :bawl:

[Lady Asphyxia]

[color=darkred][size=1]I'm reluctant to say something when this story obviously means a lot to you, but you need to work on your grammar. 'lucky' should be 'Lucky'. 'luckys' should be 'Lucky's', and so on.

There is a lot of possibilities in this story. You could have the entire death scene drawn out, with flashbacks of the better times. But as it is, it needs work.

Grief is really hard, and losing a pet you've had for a long time is so difficult. I'm sorry for your loss.[/size][/color]

[Vicky]

Thank again for reading my story. Well, on one part your right, it does need work. You must be a top writer to spot my mistake. I really am tring to get all of my mistakes right, but I write storys at night, and I don't have time to cheak the hole story.:cross:

[Sara]

[size=1]Spellcheck will catch things like that. "luckys" isn't a word.

It's very sweet, though. Pet stories always get me.[/size]

[Nate]

There are spelling errors, as the others have pointed out, but that is really nice. Greif is hard, i had to go through it when my dog died, i know how you feel. Sorry for da loss.

[Lady Asphyxia]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by vicky [/i]
[B] You must be a top writer to spot my mistake. [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=purple][size=1]Actually, I'm not. A lot of people can find mistakes easily, especially spelling and grammar mistakes. All you need to do is pay attention in class.

I could list on my fingers and toes about 15 people who I know personally whom I consider better writers than I. I'm no where near the top.

Spell-check should work, though.

Why don't you have time to check the story? Just typing it into word should work quite well, and the red lines are where there are mistakes.

I do hope I'm not sounding nit-picky; I'm just trying to help.[/color][/size]

[Vicky]

I tried to get word on, but it wouldn't save. I don't know whats wrong with it. I will ask my big bro. He works for the computer company called fujtsui. It's a big company.

[Boo]

[quote]Spellcheck will catch things like that. "luckys" isn't a word[/quote]

And the spell check would be wrong for Lucky is the name (its without cap L so thats why it looks like a weird word)
Very nice story thingy (how do u call sumfin like that?). I dont know what to say about it actually...

[Lady Asphyxia]

[color=purple][size=1]Heh. DA, it isn't just that. It needs a possessive apostrophe there.[/color][/size]

[Vicky]

I wrote some thing else. It a short piece. It is part of my winning story when i was 11.

The small boy walked though the sand. He had rips in his shirt. He fell down to the sand, took out his pen and paper and wrote;

My will;
I really don't no the piont in writeing this. Know one will find it. But if you do and if you can read this, these are my last words. I will finally die. I survived the impact of the metro. I am nothing more than a nobody. I am lost in the sarha desert, and these are my last words to any thing. I will die, to see my friends. I hate this year. We have fallen. For I am the last of the human race... Good bye...
The boy begains to cry, than dies. The paper is slowly blown away. The wind takes it away. This was the last will of all humans...

That was real short! Hope you like it.