A question for the ladies: Chivalry

[Guest Inuyasha7575]

I was taught by my mother to be a kind young gentlemen to open doors for people,help them when when help is wanted,do what u can to help out.I dont see why doing nice things is funny you will wish for someone to do that for you someday you just wait and see.

[Fyxe]

[size=1][color=darkblue]Oh yeah, it's total sexist. What were you thinking? J/k :p lol.
Honestly, how can people think it's sexist? If you are being [i]kind[/i] toward a girl and treating her like a lady, it's just being nice.
I mean, what's wrong with being an actual [i]nice[/i] and polite person in the world. Man, I know so many jerks that don't care about anybody but themselves. It seems like the world is so full of impolite people and so on... you catch my drift on that, meh? What's so wrong to just take the time to open a door for someone? It's just common kindness, I do it for people all the time.
I don't think there is anything wrong with chivalry, if it's anything, it's sweet. I may not be into the whole thing as always being treated like a lady. (because trust be, I'm not even close to being a proper young lady *laughs evily*) Sometimes it's nice to have people do things for you, and it feels good to do nice things for others, no matter how small the deed. Those small deeds may not cover me for all the bad things, but I don't care. :p
So I think it's nice that you do that. ^^[/color][/size]

[Megumi momo]

Okay Chiverly is nice. I think treating me like a lady is cool but i love football and pizza and getting into fights with guys i love cars and all that so the way i see it is treat me like a lady but don't overdue it!!! i hate wheni can't open my own door or when i'm asked for help when i'm workin on my Cuda'! But nice men are always welcome!

[Artemis]

I'm rather old-fashioned, so I really like the idea of chivalry. However, chivalry (as far as I learned sophomore year) extends to both men and women. It's about common courtesy to all people. It's really sweet when I guy holds the door open for you, but, if he's a ***$ to guys, then there's a problem. Consistency is the key.
~art~

[Guest Midnight Rush]

well, In my experience (wide and varied let me assure you), chivalry as its called is fine, as long as you aren't 'acting down' towards the girl.

[Guest Dreamerspiritt]

If a guy just holds a door open for me, I don't give it much thought, it's just commom courtesy to do tat for anyone, however if a guy does that ONLY because i'm a girl, i think that's the outdated 'Oh I don't want the fragile, helpless, girl to have to open the door by herself' way of thinking. I'd also find it a bit wierd if some guy gave up a seat on a bus for me, or pulled a chair out for me, unless they're my boyfriend. Maybe it's just my personality and the way I was brought up though. I was brought up in a liberal family and I have an independent, 'I can do it myself, I don't need your help' personality.

[Guest Tsukasa0013]

I think It is an good quality alot of girls look for. It makes a girl feel special. But I dunno, that's my opinion .

[RainbowChick]

I think chivalry is really sweet. In my opinion, chivalrous people are nice, intelligent and well brought up. Ok so girls can open doors, pull their chairs out, and ect. by themselves, everyone knows that. But I think knowing that and still going out of your way to do it is totally sweet and theirs nothing sexist about it. You do it because you're nice and considerate. It has nothing to do with the person being a woman (not true in some cases ;) but it is true overall). It's also common courtesy. I wouldn't want some guy to be chivalrous because they think I'm a girl and can't do it, that I'm to fragile and so on. That is outdated. But I don't mind if someone did it just to be nice. In fact it would mke me feel rather special.

[Milo]

I agree with RainbowChick... and I try to be as nice to the ladies as is humanly possible! (You can take that HOWEVER you want!)

But I believe chivalry is dead/dying out. At least in my school, even the more "mature" boys in our school are real jerks to girls, using impossibly pathetic intimidation methods.

Seeing guys do this makes me ill. Also makes me want to trip them down a flight of stairs, but that's 'sides the point, isn't it? :p

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Milo [/i]
[B]But I believe chivalry is dead/dying out. At least in my school, even the more "mature" boys in our school are real jerks to girls, using impossibly pathetic intimidation methods.

Seeing guys do this makes me ill. Also makes me want to trip them down a flight of stairs, but that's 'sides the point, isn't it? :p [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=violet]Sounds fun, can I help?

Most of the guys around my age have gotten over the ape phase of their puberty (atleast the ones I hang out with-which may not count since one of them is gay one is dating my best friend and the rest are married ) and treat woman with respect since if they didn't they wouldn't get any. Okay, that was wrong, but true.

Of course, I know that my best friend's boyfriend's idea of chivalry is changing a dirty diaper, but hey, sometimes you really can't argue with a thing like that.:whoops: [/color]

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]Too bad such chivalry is dying out. I think it's nice of guys to hold the door and what not. Actually, I do that too. I mean, I would hold the door for anyone. It's just something polite that I was brought up with.

My sister's friend (our familes are also friends as well) was talking about this when we saw them last at Christmas. She said that at college in Boston, there was a lot of guys from the south that she and her friends hung out with, and she was amazed by their politeness, like opening doors for the ladies, and treating them with courtesy, etc. My sister's friend told them that no one up here does that stuff for them.

I told that story to my friend at school and she brought up a good point: everybody up here (in Jersey), there's so many feminists would think that it was sexist to do stuff like that. It's too bad there's so many of those around here. I kind of liked being treated with respect. That's how I treat everyone. =)

[okay that post made no sense, did it. --'][/color]

[Milo]

[QUOTE]Most of the guys around my age have gotten over the ape phase of their puberty (atleast the ones I hang out with-which may not count since one of them is gay one is dating my best friend and the rest are married ) and treat woman with respect since if they didn't they wouldn't get any. Okay, that was wrong, but true.[/QUOTE]

Hee, hee! True, I guess. Whatever it takes, right?

[QUOTE]I told that story to my friend at school and she brought up a good point: everybody up here (in Jersey), there's so many feminists would think that it was sexist to do stuff like that. It's too bad there's so many of those around here. I kind of liked being treated with respect. That's how I treat everyone. =)[/QUOTE]

Ah, Southern hospitality. Sort of confusing. Are they just behind the times/slightly sexist or do they really respect their ladies? Good question. (Although treating everyone with respect is always a good idea.)

[NorykoAngelcry]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=darkred]Well. . I tend to try act kind to everyone. Those who know me personally know that I usually put other people before myself. I am quick to volunteer my resources (i.e. my time to help with a project, money for gas or food, even myself to use as a punching bag - physical or mental). . there is a fine line I guess between being walked over and being polite. I am still in the polite side ^_^

I usually hold doors open for poeple. Yes, especially women, but when does being chivalrous mean that you can only be nice to women? If there is some guy walking towards the door, and I just happen to be closer, I will will tend to open the door for him. . The other day, I opened a door for this lady, and ended up standing there for a couple minutes as a small contingent of random people walked in one after another. I wasn't too worried because most of my friends weren't even out of their cars yet, but I was supposed to get the table for everyone. So, when they got in, we were one of the last groups to be attended. Was I, or anyone in my group, offended by this? No! Why would we be?

When I was attending college, I held the door open for my sister (who also attended the same college) and most of the other tons of people that would always come along for dinner. With some of the 'girl' friends that went along, it was wierd for them at first, because they weren't sure why I was doing it. They were used to growing up were no one would open the door for them. So, a few times, I found myself yelled at, "Why are you opening the door for me?" With a smile, "Because I got here first". . that usually did them good till my sister would happily point out that men are supposed to open the door for women.

As some others have said, as long as you don't make the woman feel helpless while trying to be polite, then it's all good. A women wants to feel special, not handicap. I was there to get my sister's back if someone got in her face (never happened), but she and I both knew that if something happened that was out of her control, then big brother would step in and take control ^_^ LOL, like I said, nothing like that ever happened. . but you don't want to squash the woman you are with by trying to take care of EVERYTHING. . just my take. . [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[JCBaggee]

[color=red][size=1]Well, if you want to be picky, chivalry never really existed. The good knights who were supposed to exercise it rarely did.

I think its a good practice, but chivalry isn't defined by one simple thing. Its a combination of courtesy, respect, and honor. Sure, holding doors open for somebody, helping someone carry bags, thats all fine and dandy, but chivalry is also about helping the helpless. Its about saving those who need it, and protecting those who cannot protect themselves. To be able to define it by simply acting kind is nonsense.

Sorry if it seems a bit ranty, I'm honestly not trying to be mean, but this is something I care very much about. Chivalry should be a given for all people, IMO. The human soul is a fragile thing, and everyone should be concerned about it.

--Chris[/color][/size]

[Godelsensei]

Chivalry, as Lancelot knew it, is dead, dude.

Okay, maybe I have a different standpoint than my fellow girls/women because I happen to be a geek. This means that the guys I am friends with are generally skinny little weaklings who need me to open the paint for the miniatures for them. Joy.

Personally, I think chivalry has more progressed than died. As I said: Lancelot is *so* old fashioned.

"Chivalry" now seems to go both ways. In other words, it has been reduced to a far less satisfying improper noun: manners.
I'd open that door for any one unless I knew that they were a complete jackass who disserved to have it slammed in their face, for whatever reason.

Well, that's just my opinion. I'm not nearly nice enough to my male friends to expect them to be chivalrous in any shape, way or form anyway.^^" At least to me...

[Lady Asphyxia]

[font=Verdana][size=1]I agree with what most of the girls have said here. It isn't a matter of chivalry, so much as politeness. For instance, I open doors and car doors for my mother, my grandmother, and pretty much anyone who is older than me. I have no problem with people opening doors and being polite to me. [/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]However, this whole PC thing sort of killed manners, somehow. It now seems like it isn't Politically Correct to be polite, as it's some kind of insult to whatever discourse this person belongs to. Of course, the whole PC this seems just odd to me -- while I can understand it in some situations, in others it's just ridiculous -- so I just ignore what's politically correct and focus on what's polite.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]It sounds like your friend likes to use Political Correctness as a reason to be lazy, heh.[/size][/font]

[liamc2]

[SIZE=1]I'm going to have to agree with Asphy on this one. The whole political correctness thing is killing the idea of just being polite. One girl I know from church throws a 'I don't need a man to help me' tanty if you offer her your coat when she's turning blue from the cold.

I've known her since grade three, and has basically been the same since the beginning.

x.X;[/SIZE]

[Celia]

[size=1][color=hotpink] I find it sweet when guys do that, they're just trying to be nice. But in the other case, I never see a guy hold doors for someone of the same sex.

To me, sometimes, I feel that men thinks women are weak physically. But of course, it does not apply to every women.

I'm totally fine with it... I mean, who wouldn't want a nice guy to hold your door or carry your bags?! ^_^;;[/size][/color]

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