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Writing Vampire Wii (PG-13-SLV)


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Here is a fanfiction idea I've had since November. Now it is finally getting done. Please comment. I will try to add weekly installments.


“Excuse me, ma’am? May I take your order please?”

Laura looked up from her cell phone to the teenager behind the register. “Oh sorry, yeah, I would like two cheeseburgers and a small coke please.”

Laura paid for her food, received it on a tray, and sat down in one of those swivel chairs. She started to eat eagerly.

“Hey Laura! LAURA!”

“Meh? Oh it is you Sandy. What have you been up to? Still alive I see.”

“I can say the same for you. I figured that since I was in town I’d come and say hi but your boss said you went out to lunch. Looks like I was thinking of the right place.”

Laura muttered incoherently. “You are such a stalker.”

[I]This guy is my accomplice more often than not. His name is Sandy and he is only twenty-three years old. I am a Vampire Hunter. I do all the dirty work that the fat businessmen do not want to do or can’t do themselves. You want something done? Just name it. Give me a lot of money and I’m on the job. [/I]

Sandy tugged on Laura’s arm. Being pulled out of her thinking, she muttered in annoyance. “What do you want so badly?”

“Your cell is ringing.”

Laura quickly glanced toward her front jeans pocket. Sure enough, the cell phone vibrated in a low hum.


“Hello this is James.”

Laura’s jaw dropped and Sandy kept making hand signals to see who was on the other line. Laura glared at him angrily and pushed his hands trying to make him to stop.

“Your Wii was stolen? Eh? Really now. Sure, I’ll do it.”

Laura hung up the phone and set it onto the table.
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I just love how nonsensical the story is. Vampires and Wiis and hamburgers? Reading this made me go both "WTF?!" and "LOL!!!".

I'm not sure how my doppelganger fits there, but perhaps I'll soon find out.
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  • 2 weeks later...
Sorry for the wait. Here it is, the second installment


Laura sat up from the table, grabbed her purse and ran out the door. Sandy ran after her.

“Laura! What is going on? Why did James call you? He is the mayor of all things!”

“He called with great distress. His son, Desbreko is having a fit over it.”

“Over what?”

“Desbreko’s gold plated special edition wii was stolen.”

Sandy gasped. “The hell?”

Laura nodded.

“Do you know who stole it?”

“No, but I have my suspicions. Get in the car.”

“Where are we going?”

“The Lounge.”

“THAT PLACE?? Why do we want to go to that forsaken bar? So much spam and repetition!”

Laura just rolled her eyes as they drove off.

You know how it smells when you enter a bar? Otaku Lounge is just like that. Smoke from the various cigars and cigarettes pungent the air. Several old tables and wooden chairs were distributed throughout the room. This wasn’t a rundown establishment. It just had a long history and is a pretty popular place.

In the far back along the right side was the bar. In the opposite wall in the corner was the stage. On the stage there was a man singing and rapping. Beside him in her own like pedistal was an Asian woman dancing with a pole. The men watching the entertainment were whistling appreciatively.

The bar was actually quite crowded. People were chattering away on numerous topics and debates. Laura passed through the crowd towards the actual bar itself. Behind the bar, there was a poster. Laura reconized it almost immediately.

"Tonight! The Notorious Nomura and Lustful Lunox!"

"Eh?" Sandy looked up at Laura somewhat confused.

Laura turned her head towards Sandy and replied, "Oh it is tonight's act..."

Before she could finish her sentence, Nomura started a new song. Laura tried not to listen but the song was very catchy. As Laura and Sandy sat down at the bar, Laura managed to catch some of the lyrics, "...named James, named James, OH YEAH!"

Laura couldn't help but grin as she waved the bartender over.

"Hey Laura! What's up?"

"Hey Azurewolf! Bloody mary please? Sandy?"


Azure nodded and started to make the drinks. "So what do you need, Laura? You never visit anymore unless you want information."

Laura tapped her fingers against the counter and nodded. "It is true. I am in need of some help. Since you know everything....can't help it. Who do you think would steal a gold plated special edition zelda wii?"

"WHAT?? But mo woo who bow ha a wing?" Laura covered his mouth after the second word to prevent him from blowing anything.

"Shhhhh!" People are staring!" Laura whispered in annoyance.

Laura turned and smiled nervously to the crowd. People went back to minding their own business.

"Laura, don't glare at me like that." Azure squeaked. "I'm not really sure who would do such a thing. "

Laura muttered discontentedly.

"James told me that nothing came up on the moderator cam. However it was there one moment and gone the next. "

"Obviously that person knows how the camera works. A moderator you think?"

Laura frowned slightly. "James always picks the nameless and harmless ones. They wouldn't dare take the chance to lose their jobs."

Azure nodded in agreement.

Yells of excitement came from the crowd. Another woman was dancing alongside Lunox, often stealing the spotlight altogether. She was wearing a skimpy red dress and black high heels.

The straps slid off her shoulders as she did various flips, spins and twirls on and around the pole. It almost seemed like the men were entranced by her beauty. Laura shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"Azure, who is that?"

Azure briefly looked towards the direction of the dancer and turned back to Laura.
"Oh that is Raija, she..." Azure lowered his voice, "Is a vampire. One of the two that were turned by Charles."

"Charles? You mean the Vampire Lord of Otaku City, Charles?"

Azurewolf nodded. "The very same."

"Why is she here?"

"For food I imagine. Or perhaps she is obsessed with the attention. I dunno, your guess is as good as mine."

"Hrm." Laura rested her chin in her left palm deep in thought while sipping on her bloody mary.

"Thank you everyone!"

"Awww! Raija please stay!" Several of the men chimed in.

"Sorry boys."

Raija grabbed the hands of one of the men nearby who were whistling. He was obviously drunk.

"What is your name, fine sir?" Raija smiled sweetly.

"M-my name is Gavin!"

Raija beamed. "Care to come spend the night with me?"

"Y-yes! Of course! I'll protect you! The night is very scary! I'll do my best to keep you company!"

Some men cheered him on. Othes moaned in jealous. A couple nearby were having a difficult time. Laura could not help but overhear.

"Rachmaninoff.....stop it, you are embaressing me." The woman was in tears. Laura felt sorry for her.

Other dates and wives throughout the room mainly reacted the same way. Few others hit their male companions and left them there dumbfounded.

Laura quickly finished her bloody mary and turned to where Sandy was. He was not there. [I]Where the hell is he?[/I] Laura thought to herself. She hastily put some cash onto the counter and walked away from the bar. She scanned the crowd for her partner.

"Meh! Why can't that guy ever stay focused?"

She noticed him very close to the stage. He was looking adoringly towards Nomura. Laura grabbed Sandy's arm, and headed towards the bar's exit.

"But but, Laura. I wanted to hear him sing."

Can't you stop thinking about guys for one minute? We have to hurry and follow that vampire!"
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[quote name='Japan_86']"...named James, named James, OH YEAH!"[/QUOTE]

Best part. Whoa, Mann's Otakuboards theme song. I nearly cracked up when I saw that.

[quote name='Japan_86']"For food I imagine. Or perhaps she is obsessed with the attention. I dunno, your guess is as good as mine."[/QUOTE]

I'm personally betting on the latter.

So yeah, awesome in an epic manner so far. I'm definitely going to keep following this one.
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[SIZE="1"][COLOR="HotPink"]My god Laura! This is the only story I've enjoyed reading on OB the past few months. This made me laugh a few times, aha.. Keep those installments coming, please!

p.s- Glad I'm in it. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[SIZE="1"]Random and amusing, although I am slightly worried about my future given I'm being dragged away by a vampiric Raiha, which means I'm either food or fun. Great story Laura, looking forward to seeing where it goes.[/SIZE]
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Love to be your sidekick, Laura. The story is excellently random, you never know where it's going to take our dashing hunters. It just left me wondering why we're after some Wii rather than out hunting vampires? XP
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