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Writing Poetry Contest - Final Round


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[FONT="Tahoma"][CENTER][SIZE="3"][B]Poetry Contest - Final Round [/B][/SIZE]

[CENTER][SIZE="4"][B]Aaryanna_Mom [/B]vs. [B]Indi[/B] vs. [B]Allamorph[/B][/SIZE]

Topic: [B]Contestant's Choice[/B][/CENTER]
[B]Rondeau Poetry[/B][/CENTER]
For the final round each of you are challenged to write a Rondeau Poem. It is a form of French poetry with fifteen lines written on two rhymes. The Rondeau consists of thirteen lines, plus two refrains. It has three stanzas and its rhyme scheme is as follows: (1) A A B B A (2) A A with refrain: C (3) A A B B A with concluding refrain C. The refrain must be identical with the beginning of the first line.

An example is [COLOR="DarkGreen"][I]We Wear the Mask[/I][/COLOR] by Paul Laurence Dunbar:

[CENTER][COLOR="DarkGreen"]WE wear the mask that grins and lies, (A)
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,— (A)
This debt we pay to human guile; (B)
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, (B)
And mouth with myriad subtleties. (A)

Why should the world be over-wise, (A)
In counting all our tears and sighs? (A)
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask. (C)

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries (A)
To thee from tortured souls arise. (A)
We sing, but oh the clay is vile (B)
Beneath our feet, and long the mile; (B)
But let the world dream otherwise, (A)
We wear the mask! (C)[/COLOR][/CENTER]

Now something to keep in mind for this challenge, the number of syllables for each line and refrain is irrelevant, just as the rhymes will not strictly follow what you would find in a Rondeau poem. Each individual stanza stands alone in that the rhyme of the first one for say A does not have to rhyme with the A in the other two stanzas. It only has to rhyme with the other ones in that section, make sense?

Each contestant has till [B][COLOR="DarkGreen"][U]Tuesday the 27th[/U][/COLOR][/B] to get their poems in. At which time the voting will begin, sooner if all three members submit their poems before the deadline. Now if there are any questions, be sure to direct them to this thread here: [URL="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=58871"][U]Poetry Contest[/U][/URL] Good luck to each of you! :catgirl:[/FONT]
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  • 2 weeks later...
[CENTER][COLOR="Indigo"][B]It's only a test![/B]

It?s only a test that one must take
Just a little thing to make or break
Our lives depend on its harsh rule
Firm and unyielding and even cruel
Not one may quit or dare to forsake

We cry, we lament, we must shake
And yet we continue to partake
This terrible tempest of a fool
It?s only a test!

Why do we try with broken rakes
To free ourselves for our own sake
Let the lament rise to cover the Yule
A hopeless sound, so miniscule
The wail of despair in an endless wake
It?s only a test! [/COLOR][/CENTER]
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Within his eyes, and 'neath the white
That seemingly obscures his sight,
Lie phantoms born of basest fear;
Beyond the edge of Reason's sphere
They wait, secluded from the light.

Their soundless cries of furious spite
Will rob the strongest of his might
And lock him in the ghastly stare
Within his eyes.

They will consume your soul, despite
Your frenzied, wild attempts to fight
The wraiths; their madd'ning whispers sear
The heart, the mind to pieces tear.
There is no hope for you tonight,
Within his eyes.

Edited by Allamorph
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[CENTER][B]Fallen love[/B]

I love you with all of my heart
Though fate would tear us apart
Like a soft whisper of endless night
Stolen from by those with no sight
We cry and protest that we must part

Why would one ever take part
In rending those who are smart
With soulless eyes that give fright
I love you

No truer words will my voice impart
Though it pains me to need a fresh start
If only I could soar and take flight
I would not have to face this blight
It pains me for love to break apart
I love you[/CENTER]
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[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"][B]Indi:[/B] I?m not quite sure what your poem is trying to say, but it seems to be indicating that like death some things can?t be avoided. No matter what we do we can?t avoid ?its harsh rule? is very fitting to that theme. I?m not sure what I think of the refrain but other than that I enjoyed reading it.

[B]Allamorph:[/B] Your poem is pretty straightforward and the meaning pretty clear. I can just about imagine coming face to face with those eyes you speak of. It seems a bit old fashioned [[SIZE="1"]not sure how to explain that[/SIZE]] but still flows quite nicely.

[B]Kathy:[/B] I like the theme behind your poem the best. Some of the rhyming seems a bit awkward though since you?ve ended up with ?apart? & ?part? in there twice. I think that distracts from it a bit.

Anyway, judging this kind of poetry isn?t exactly easy; I know so little about it. For the image of feeling like I could literally see those eyes he spoke of? I vote for [B]Allamorph[/B].[/FONT][/COLOR]
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[SIZE="1"][strike]First vote huh ? Great... Thanks a lot Crys.[/strike] Nevermind. ^_^;

Anyway, down to the actual vote, and I have to admit, this is the first time I've ever heard of, let alone seen a Rondeau poem. All three poems were quite interesting and well written, given that I'm facing into my final exams in only a few days, Crystia's subject matter was met with a certain degree of let's say, resistance.

Allamorph's as usual was a very deep poem, and his skill in structuring it was also very impressive, although I can't but be slightly wary of the dark nature of the work, though to be fair of course this won't affect my decision. Irish literature is built on bleakness and despair and one can't help but tire of it after a while.

Mom's to me felt the most emotive of the three, the most personal and even despite the sad nature of it, I really liked it on the whole, it was the most simple and genuine.

So, after reading over the three carefully, and trying to collect my thoughts and probably expressing them horribly, my vote goes to [b]Aaryanna_Mom[/b]. I enjoyed all three, but Mom's just clicked with me the most and that's why she gets my vote.[/SIZE]
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[COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][B][FONT="Arial"]Indi:[/FONT][/B] Your poem just makes me smile. I love how it?s a case of fighting against something that is merely a test, as if people take life too seriously. I can just see an image of people getting serious over something that?s ?only a test!?

[B]Allamorph:[/B] Your poem is nice and suitable creepy. I know I don?t want to be looking into ?his eyes? I like my soul where it is thank you very much! It paints a very vivid image.

[B]Mom:[/B] I think your poem is a little off by the repetitive rhyming or rather the same words. But I do like the overall meaning to it since it can cover so many things. Like lovers parting, losing someone you love because they died or a kid leaving home.

I?m going to vote for[B] [FONT="Arial"]Indi[/FONT][/B] since her poem just makes me laugh. [/FONT][/COLOR]
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I'm going to assume voting is open to everyone. ^_^

[B]Indi[/B]: This poem gets better with each verse. I particularly like the imagery of broken rakes. The feel mirrors that of Solomon's cry “All is vanity!” I really enjoyed this.

[B]Allamorph[/B]: I love this refrain. Those are three very powerful words. This poem has a rather Raven-esque feel to it, like Sun pointed out. The expert command of the English language in these 15 lines brilliantly portrays the darkness held in those eyes. It doesn’t feel as if a single syllable is wasted. Nicely done.

[B]Aaryanna_Mom[/B]: It’s obvious this subject matter came naturally, something only one with experience can properly accomplish. There are a few lines that remind me of Shakespeare, as may very well have been intended. I like how the refrain, a phrase used flippantly nowadays, retains all its true meaning and impact in this poem.

My vote goes to [B]Allamorph[/B]. Poetry to me is as much about the words used as the things said. When a poem is high-quality on both fronts, it’s hard for me to ignore.

Edit: I apologize for misspelling one of our lovely authors' names. ^_^'
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[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='TwistedChick']I'm going to assume voting is open to everyone. ^_^[/quote]You assume correctly and thank you for taking the time to vote. If it wasn't clear before... [i]everyone[/i] is welcome to participate in the voting. :catgirl: This will still be open for voting until the third of June.[/FONT]
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[B]Indi: [/B]I love the mocking feel to your refrain; it contrasts nicely with the more serious feel to the actual poem. No matter how serious things might seem ?it?s only a test?

[B]Allamorph:[/B] It?s been said, your poem definitely has a thread of creepiness running through it. I don?t care for some of the wording but the overall meaning comes across quite clearly.

[B]Aaryanna_Mom:[/B] Out of all the poems I think yours is the most personal like Gavin already pointed out. Even with the repetitive nature of the rhyming, it is still a powerful read and beautiful in its simplicity.

Now the fun part, figuring out who to vote for? There are things I like better about each poem over the other one. Way to go guys? you just had to make it hard. XP Anyway? though creepy, I like the sense of hopelessness in the poem by[B] Allamorph[/B]. So he gets my vote.
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All I have is a few thoughts for each:

[B]Indi:[/B] I loved your diction and your refrain. I feel the theme of "the test" was identifiable and powerful.

[B]Allamorph: [/B]Your control of the poem's structure was masterful. I would also contend that your title was superior.

[B]Aaryanna_Mom:[/B] Your piece was very touching, and I was drawn in emotionally by the sincere tone of the speaker.

All that being said, this is how I feel after reading all three pieces: For some reason, Indi and Mom used no punctuation. I'm not sure if it was unfamiliarity with the poetic form (I, for one, had never heard of this type of poem), or simply personal preference.

And then you have Allamorph, who took this difficult poetic form and completely made it his own. The punctuation he used was so masterful, so skillful, that it made his piece flow with a rhythm and style that neither of the other two pieces matched. My vote HAS to go to [SIZE="4"][U][I][B]Allamorph.[/B][/I][/U][/SIZE]
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[FONT="Tahoma"]The voting is now closed! Thanks again everyone for participating. :catgirl: With Indi receiving 1 vote, Aaryanna_Mom receiving 1 vote and Allamorph receiving 4 votes... the winner of the Poetry Contest is [B]Allamorph[/B]! Congratulations! :catgirl:[/FONT]
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