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DeLarge last won the day on August 30 2014

DeLarge had the most liked content!

About DeLarge

  • Birthday 01/10/1990

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    Comedian, Writer and YouTuber
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  1. Hey everyone! I was in the process of writing something where I referenced my time posting on the OB and thought 'hey, I wonder if that place is still up and running'. I guess it is, in some capacity, although my beloved Theater seems to be primarily populated with mothballs and tumbleweed... Hope everyone is doing well, looking back on my post history I think the last time I posted here I was a single, unemployed and slightly depressed 25 year old living with his parents - I'm now a happily non-single, gainfully employed and only occasionally depressed 31 year old who is in the process of buying his first house. You and me both! I'm currently funnelling all of that same energy into the D&D campaign I'm DMing, but looking back here my creative output was crazy for a time.
  2.   How dare you, I buy only the finest quality writing lipstick.   And good luck finding me in my Allamorph-proof bunker. It has special paint that protects against harsh literary criticism.
  3.   Your handwriting really needs work.   Anyway, I'm gonna go move house...for unrelated reasons...
  4.   It's no big deal really, I know I'm Nifty. It says it scrawled in lipstick on my bathroom mirror.
  5.   I remember wanting to win one. Then the time I finally got nominated a bunch of times, the lengthy OB shutdown and subsequent rollback on posts ate the nominations thread and all evidence of my nomination was eradicated from the internet for all eternity.   So close.   And yet so far...
  6. I watched Parks and Recreation pretty much from the beginning, loved it to a borderline insane degree, and as such the finale pretty much broke me. It was funny and touching and probably the best sitcom finale in a very long time, and it went out on a high rather than sticking around for two or three more seasons than it needed to (I'm looking at you, The Office...) and suffering from a decline in quality.   Having said that, I didn't want it to end because I loved the characters so much. So instead I was just glad that I brought a change of clothes, because my eyes pissed tears.   Anyway, I'm going to go and make myself feel better by selling some of my grandma's jewellery and going clubbing.   Jean-Ralphio ftw.
  7.   I don't know why, but this made you sound slightly like an alien studying our civilization.   Mocking aside, you can get a lower water bill, but if the gyms around you are anything like most people's, you'll be paying through the nose every month to go to the gym instead. I don't personally go to the gym because of the expense, but there's plenty of stuff you can do to build muscle and get fit at home - I have a set of free weights that I use pretty much every day, the weight is adjustable and they didn't cost me a huge amount (£25/$38), and a resistance band which cost even less (£18/$27) and, along with regular squats, push ups, sit ups and jogging those serve me pretty well. My objectives are a little different from yours as I'm trying to lose weight rather than build muscle, but the principle is the same.   However, working out at home takes quite a lot of discipline - it took me a long time to get into a routine of exercising every day because there are so many more distractions at home than there are at the gym. So if you want a more structured experience and professional advice from trainers and fitness experts then the gym is probably your best bet, but if you want to save money then I'd recommend investing in some equipment for home use. Although if you go with the second option, make sure you know what you're doing because repetitive exercise done in the wrong way can mess you up considerably in the long term.   A few extra thoughts:   - Remember to try and build muscle all over - that means working out your core and legs as well as your arms. There are plenty of images out there on the interwebs showing what happens when people miss 'Leg Day', and trust me, you really don't want to end up looking like one of them. - Work out how to eat right - you might see bodybuilders and big muscular people who can eat anything they want and work it off, but these guys are burning thousands of calories each time they work out and you won't be able to do that right away. A basic but helpful thing to remember is that carbohydrates (potatoes, rice, pasta) provide good energy and protein (meat, fish, nuts) is good for building muscle, but there are lots of other factors to consider. If you can get some solid nutrition advice it's probably a good starting point - this was a big sticking point for me for a long time, but the exercise I was doing started working a lot better when I combined it with an improved diet. - Don't push it - you're not going to get super-ripped overnight, it's going to take a while. In fact, it will probably take a few weeks before you start noticing any difference at all, but don't be discouraged. As long as you keep doing the right exercises and eating the right things you will start to notice a difference in the long-term.   And even with this advice, I'd suggest getting some from a professional - after all, I'm still a chubby dude who's only just managed to get his act together about this stuff!
  8. Thanks buddy, I've been working on the voice for a few years. Or, you know...since birth.   That wasn't real bashing, if you want to see that then check out Episode 12 - Force Fields. I maybe treated that power slightly unfairly.
  9. I spend a lot of time on YouTube, and I've got a few go-to channels that are usually good value.   Hannah Hart and her show My Drunk Kitchen are always reliable, as is Grace Helbig, and any video with the two of them together along with Mamrie Hart often go straight into my Favorites playlist. For more narrative and VFX-based stuff I enjoy CorridorDigital and RocketJump (although I've been going off the latter recently as I find their attempts at comedy to be a little stilted, but their action and VFX are always outstanding), and for gaming I like Achievement Hunter and I'm subscribed to several of the Yogscast channels, although I find their content a little more hit and miss dependent on who is in the videos.     Felicia Day and Wil Wheaton are both awesome, and Geek and Sundry has some great content. I also watch TableTop religiously, it's directly influenced the last three or four birthday and Christmas presents I've bought for my brother - Gloom in particular was a favorite, and I enjoy Say Anything, which I bought for myself as soon as I watched the TableTop episode.     Laci Green is also one of the best human beings on the planet, her work in sex education and in particular the support system she established after some unpleasant stuff came out about a number of high-profile YouTubers recently are absolutely invaluable. It doesn't hurt that she's endlessly smart and entertaining as well, and having met her at a convention last year I can confirm that she's one of the nicest people you could hope to meet.   I know that's more than three, but I'm a maverick and I don't even give a care.   And (cue slightly awkward plug) I've been running my own YouTube channel for the past 2 years, I make a weekly show called 'SO YOU'RE A SUPERHERO' which I describe as an idiot's guide to being a superhero presented by an idiot superhero (played by yours truly) and I haven't missed a week yet. That's over 100 episodes and several combined hours of complete nonsense courtesy of a man who clearly has far too much free time on his hands.
  10. "Danger, do you require assistance?"   The voice crackled into Felicia's ear as she ran through the darkened corridors of the Umbral building, her feet making little more than a whisper on the ground as she made her way towards the guards Kato had spotted. The words distracted her, and she ducked into an empty corner office to pause for just a moment - offering to activate Danger was among the worst things Geist did to her regularly, tempting her into succumbing to her addiction when the executives knew deep down that she could never resist for long. She felt her hands begin to shake at the very thought of being allowed to indulge her compulsion, and she squeezed her eyes shut to try and block out the thoughts that would always lead to her giving in.   "Repeat: Danger, do you require assistance?"   Shut up for a second.   The thought snarled through her head, the anger going some way to distracting her from the offer, but she knew saying it out loud would have repercussions further down the road.   Weigh up the bloody options.   On the one hand, if she was going up against two highly trained and potentially super-powered security operatives, Danger would definitely give her an edge. But, on the other hand, if the assignment continued as poorly as it had started, she would undoubtedly need the suit at some point in the near future, and she couldn't risk using up her allowance on a couple of guards.   "That's a negative, Control," she finally spat into her communicator, "I am proceeding alone at this stage."   "Copy that," her handler replied, "Assistance is primed and ready when you need it."   Exhaling slowly, Felicia ducked back into the corridor, and saw the silhouettes of two guards at the far end of the corridor.   Large. Heavyset. Male. Armed.   That was good - if they were armed, it was less likely that they had highly offensive superpowers, if any at all. Their size could cause problems, but even with her relatively small stature Felicia was confident she could take them both out. After all, she'd taken out far more dangerous targets with far fewer resources on her side before.   Got to go in big, take them down as quickly as possible. If that doesn't work, divide and conquer.   She focused on the shapes, and took off down the corridor at a silent sprint. A few steps before she collided with them, she dropped to the floor in a short and dirty slide, slamming her feet directly into their ankles then flipping onto her front as she scraped along the floor past them. She watched as they both dropped down to one knee, the initial attack having taken them by surprise, and leaping towards them the moment she stopped moving. With a single swift motion she grabbed them both by the neck and slammed their heads into the hard floor, knocking one entirely unconscious and dazing the other for a moment.   She took that moment to scramble back to her feet and yank the handgun out of the conscious guard's holster, swiftly firing a succession of clean, lethal shots into the pair of guards.   "Neutron, this is Danger," she said into her communicator, her breathing only slightly laboured from the confrontation, "Guards on the western side have been taken out. What is your current loca-"   Her words were cut off as a huge, almost comically-muscular man burst through the thin dividing wall keeping one of the offices separate from the hall, slamming his fist into Felicia's chest and throwing her from her feet. Even with the dizzying explosion of noise and movement, she was fairly certain she'd felt at least a couple of ribs break, and she landed hard on her back as the bigger, and clearly super-powered guard loomed over her.   "Damn it..." she wheezed as she hauled herself to her feet and faced down her new opponent. He was big, at least eight feet tall, and covered with rippling, unnatural muscle and a healthy selection of tattoos and scars created an odd mosaic-pattern to his exposed skin.   "That's far enough, little flower," he said, his voice as deep and booming as one might expect from a man of his stature, "Your visit is over now."   "Danger, do you require assistance?" asked the crackly voice through Felicia's communicator again. She winced as pain shot through her injured chest, and stared down at the cartoon strongman she was now faced with, a snarl twitching the corner of her lip.   "Repeat: Danger, do you require assistance?"   "Oh, hell yes."
  11. Generally speaking when a character sits out a mission, the idea would be that they would be on another assignment elsewhere, either solo or as part of another team (there are Throwaways other than our characters out there, we just haven't written anything about them yet). As it's only the first assignment, your character may not have even been recruited yet, and could join the team for the start of the second assignment. But generally, if you decide to sit out an assignment then you can come up with an alternate assignment your character could have been put on and write about it in the Backstories thread.   I hope that helps!
  12. Prepare for the irony of an extended response about a tiny RPG...   Overall, it's a tricky concept. There is a considerable argument about brevity being the soul of wit, and it is possible to craft a compelling narrative in a very small number of words or characters - for example, see the six-word story famously (but possible inaccurately) attributed to Ernest Hemingway ('For sale: baby shoes, never worn'). Similarly, there is certainly a benefit to keeping things short, as it encourages consistent posting and doesn't take a great deal of effort to contribute to a larger story, although it does take considerable thought to write something that is both concise and interesting.   However, as you'll see if you go back into the annals of OtakuBoards RPGs, there has been a shift away from very short posts, to the point that they are largely frowned upon in most RPGs these days. After all, while there is an argument for brevity being the soul of wit, there is a counter-argument that if you have nothing interesting or constructive to say, you're better off saying nothing at all. It's extraordinarily challenging to make something that is both interesting and worthwhile in such a small number of words or characters, and is such a big step away from what people are used to around these parts that running it would likely either become frustrating or completely unmanageable very quickly. So while it may not seem like it will be a big investment in time, you may well find that it takes up a lot more of your mind-space than you would expect.   Basically, if you feel like you have the patience and the writing skill to pull something like this off, then I say more power to you! But I would advise against jumping into because it seems easy and straightforward, as it will likely fizzle before gaining any real traction.
  13. Bullets screamed past Felicia Cole's head, spraying chunks of concrete and plaster from the walls around her as she quickly ducked below a stack of metal boxes, tossing her own empty rifle away as he hit the ground.   "Now would be a really good time to give me some," she growled into her communicator, "A really, really good time, in fact."   "Negative, Danger," the businesslike voice from the other end of the line responded, "You have reached your exposure limit for this week."   "Goddammit," she snarled, "I really think there should be some kind of exception for weeks where you send me out on six different assignments...give me some bloody wiggle room here!"   "That's a negative, Danger. No wiggle room."   Felicia swore under her breath, pulled a small concussion grenade from her belt and lobbed it over the stack of boxes towards the people shooting at her. She heard a whomp and a scream, and rolled her eyes as she continued her conversation.   "Can I at least speak to Reins?"   The operative on the other end of the line audibly sighed.   "I'll pass you on now."   The line suddenly became flooded with a tinny recording of some smooth jazz track or other, and Felicia scowled.   "Well, that's incontrovertible proof that at some point I died and went to hell," she said to herself, wincing as more bullets hit the metal boxes she was resting on, "Come on, Reins, you flash bastard..."   A few more moments of smooth jazz punctuated by bone-shaking bullet hits later, a male voice crackled onto the communicator.   "Danger, this is Reins," the smug voice said, "You are authorised on this occasion to exceed your maximum exposure limit. You have 3 minutes."   "Finally, something I can get on board with," replied Felicia with a smile as a warm, tingling feeling began to spread through her body. The pain from the cuts and bruises that had been caused by her current group of enemies faded, along with the ongoing, insistent muscular pain from years of pushing herself to her physical limits. She felt refreshed, her strength renewed and even increased, and she looked down as the familiar form of Danger crawled across her body, covering it in a lightweight red-and-black suit of body armour.   "Hello, old friend," she murmured as the suit reached her neck and stopped, a low hissing noise emanating from the being she was now indelibly linked to, and her senses were suddenly on fire. She could hear the heavy breathing of her enemies over the other side of the complex, she could smell the sticky, wet blood that she had caused them to shed, and she could feel the subtle changes in the air pressure caused by their weapons firing.   With a deep breath, she leapt out of cover with greater speed than anyone else in the room could have expected, exploding out from behind the boxes and hurtling through the air towards her enemies. They took aim and squeezed off a few shots, most missing entirely but the one or two bullets that found their mark were crushed into harmless metal studs as they collided with her armour.   She landed with both feet square in the centre of a man's chest, feeling bones snap and pop under the sudden and unexpected impact; she flung her arm out towards the closest group of men, feeling Danger extend from the tips of her fingers like living tendrils of fabric, slicing through flesh and cartilage like a knife through butter; she felt her whole body working in tandem with the being known as Danger to punch, kick, slice and strangle her way through a rank of armed and highly-trained soldiers. She delighted in the death and the bloodlust, and for three minutes she and her symbiotic partner were a perfect combination of anger, grace and death.   And then it was over.   After three minutes that felt like a lifetime, she was all too aware of Danger retracting, the armour melting off her limbs and taking with it the calming anaesthetic that took her pain away. Agony flooded back into her muscles and bones, seemingly ten times worse than before, and she collapsed into a heap as her power, her drug, was taken away from her.   The stench of blood and death filled her nostrils, a combination that still turned her stomach no matter how many times she was faced with it, and she became acutely aware of the crushed, broken and dismembered bodies laying on the floor around her.   Thick, freezing sweat formed on her forehead, and she felt a rush of nausea overcome the physical pain coursing through her body for just a moment.   "Congratulations, Danger," Reins said through the communicator, "Another successful assignment. Maybe we'll increase your exposure limit next week as a reward."   Thanks a lot, she thought as she hauled herself shakily to her feet, resigned to the constant, crushing cycle of addiction and withdrawal her life had become since she had first heard the name 'Geist Industries'.   There was just one thing that kept her going through the pain, the nausea, the ecstasy and the crippling depression: the thought, and the hope, that one day Tyler Reins would die by her hand, and she could regain control over her life.   A girl can dream...
  14. Welcome to The Throwaways, Nyxian! You are highly encouraged to make some in-character posts in The Throwaways - Backstories thread while we put the last few pieces into place to get the RP proper started!
  15. Thanks for your sign ups, NuXtos and Shwa! The RP itself will be coming along shortly, but if you're itching to dive into writing for your character in the meantime then allow me to introduce the Backstories thread. Here, you can post about your characters without the limitations imposed by assignments: you can go into their past, show us what they were like before their powers emerged or before Geist found them; you can show us their early days as part of Geist or you can show us what they're like on assignment, your creativity and imagination is the only limit here!   I've posted a short excerpt of Lucas Corrigan's past, and I heartily encourage you to do the same for your character as well, so have at it!
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