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Everything posted by Aiwass

  1. Recently did a guitar recording after a year hiatus of no-recording. Note that it fades out a lot and skips noise because my plug-in cord is evil. [url]http://lion-serpent.vox.com/library/post/first-recording-in-a-year.html[/url] Thanks for listening, and enjoy. Om shanti/ om shakti.
  2. I laid in Nature's arms, upon the Earth, at first saddled in sadness. Then Coyote gave me a dragonseed for my fertile, much-needing soil--and I let Her fog take me away. Indescribable: away, away, away from babylon. The Coyote let me lay in His lap, and with His hands of creation and destruction He got rid of the excessive yuck permeating in my face. All those grabby, wrong-feeling energy flow places were touched and revoked, as much as possible. I cried out in pain sometimes, a storm of eyewater-- sometimes I veered away from His Healer's paws, but remained my strength long as I could, until I could take no more of it. O resting softly in a forest just a few ways away from the urban marionette dance of 10-7 dime grime jobs. O away from the helter-skelter. I needed this break. Disappearing. Dispersing. Sweet surrender to this moment. He looks into my eyes--they're pins, blue-green iris, with yellow-grey around the pins, like an eternal sunshine pupil. O it all melts away, and I fly on fog. I read a book, and think of these trees all around me; do they find some honor, at least, in being made into books of wisdom, their beautiful flesh changed into pick and parcel of human words--so meaningless to a tree, but can't they feel what we read from their flesh--some iota of it? O these words we writ upon their flesh, O forgive us this pain. We know not what we do, and say it so loudly boldly. O if you walk a little ways away from this hill I rest upon, there's a wounded young Redwood hit by a human truck. Before we came here, we stopped and paid it homage, seeing if it had any branches bent and barely hanging onto as arms of its life--from ye I will make a wand, you'll see. O this hill I can see their bulldozers have destroyed it more and more. In my mind I can just see it--being no more, being destroyed, more urban area like some wildland human virus. There's so many of us, so many of us, so many of us. . .Abraham's covenant was no lie. I leave a part of myself there, and always, everywhere. This is the mark of my spirit. Remember me, O, as I remember you.
  3. [quote name='Sara'][font=trebuchet ms]Oh man, girls are so mysterious and they never make sense, am I right? Sexism is super funny![/font][/QUOTE] In a way what was said could be taken as you did. In another sense it is a valid point.
  4. I've no real source of income, so I have no gifts to offer. I figure I will send my lover some waja credits on this game called Wajas that he's absolutely obsessed with; he should easily appreciate that. Other than that I am considering making art for others. I am also going to help with making Christmas dinner. Love is the law, love under will.
  5. [quote name='Gavin'][SIZE=1]With women, you never know.[/SIZE][/QUOTE] Humans certainly have diverse psychologies, so it's hard to say so. The best one could do I'd say is be affrontful about it to them, in a way that is respectable. That is to say, verbally ask if they are interested in that way. That way, the kiss will be taken in a way that is explicitly communicated. A kiss could just be a friend kind of kiss, for example. It may appear one is leaning to kiss on the mouth, but it might be the cheek.
  6. Just goes to show you how confused/ lost we are as a species when we don't think a very natural response to a stimulus is to be allowed, or even question it at all. But yes, I have gotten aroused when kissing a woman before. And no, I found nothing wrong with it. Perhaps the only thing you have to worry about is having such a big one that it juts out, and offends the woman you are kissing. :p
  7. It was actually my lover. He noticed my talent and told me I should make it more realized. I have also since adopted the notion of my art (seeing myself as an artist) as being able to have the most expression from having the most mediums possible. This directly allows for art to be more of art. There is a certain way with some images, like those of many of the Hindu Gods, and many of the trump cards of the Tarot's images. Shiva, Hindu God of Destruction, in the manifestation (Hindu Gods have many forms) of Nataraja, Cosmic Lord of Dance, holds a flame in right hand; in the left, he holds a drum, while at his feet he dances on a demon of ignorance. He wears a tigerskin, a cobra is at his side. He has a third eye. It has three wavy lines over it, called [i]vibhuti[/i], a symbol of the essence of Shiva. These many aspects all combine to something that is an emergent phenomena, which in other words means that it is more than the sum of its parts. So this same emergency of phenomena happens, in a different sense, when the artist takes up, and attempts to master in skill and talent, and all aspects utterly every medium possible. Something different is allowed. A more true, full, wholesome vision. One medium assists another, and the other. I have many other mediums to master. The creative side, as well as destructive (for, as the Shiva manifestation I mention shows, they are one and in balance and entwined and one in the other), has many different possibilities of expression through the human being.
  8. Oh, mine grandpa, he was a master, a master baiter that is. He could get a worm on a hook and make a fish come to it like none other. There were not enough fish in the sea for this man, no. And back with you on [i]My Little Whorse on the Preyrie[/i] in just a moment. . . So if you read young books, does that make you a pedophilic bibliophile?
  9. [quote name='CaNz'][IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/5/9/f/59fbcec15fbbc8744c0a4309c126a8a8.png[/IMG] The following must be true: [IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/d/2/e/d2e283e91dee2cad966314a84da9f1d5.png[/IMG] Dividing by zero gives: [IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/4/6/9/469c83d5e0959e4caaceea20df153c53.png[/IMG] Simplified, yields: [IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/c/4/c/c4c9b852c938da096b69fc257a7a8d82.png[/IMG] HOOT![/QUOTE] I would try to devise such a trecherously clever post myself, save that the words are thrown straight from my mouth. That was funny. lol.
  10. :mourns deeply over the hiatus of the daily otaku: Not so daily, now is it! Psh! :p
  11. I remember playing [I]Final Fantasy X[/I] to the point that Yuna did more than 9,999 damage per hit, and Auron was learning magic spells. I thought it was hilarious in a way.
  12. [quote name='Nerdsy'][color=deeppink]No, I haven't taken anything like that for about a decade now. I've been managing to keep my ADHD at acceptable levels without it, though I still find it hard to focus on anything that doesn't involve bright, primary colors.[/color][/QUOTE] I see. I do, but I use it in off-and-on periods. 2 days on, 2 days off, etc. Life has just been so hectic and intense lately that I feel so overwhelmed. Without it, something fundamental seems to be missing. It helps me be on the ball. Otherwise, I'm not so much (at least as far as what society wants done, and all that--you know what I mean). Then again, I was handed what's called Cylert when I was only about 6. You do that to a kid and it's going to change their brain, because then the brain is just developing. I only take 10mg once a day when I do use, which is a small dose.
  13. [quote name='Korey'][COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Franklin Gothic Medium"][size=1]You actually brought up a good point and I wanted to point this out. When does the age of impression begin and end?Generally, it seems like it's more difficult to discipline children when they reach a certain age. I don't know whether it's puberty or what have you, but the question I ask is, do you break consistency in punishment to reflect your child's age? Obviously spanking a 15 year old won't do you much good at all, but no matter what the punishment method you use shouldn't it be somewhat consistent? Also, to elaborate more on the age of impression, do we stop trying to teach values or try to impress them on them when they reach a certain age? Obviously not, because learning is a life-long process. Maybe it's a certain age where parents have to let go of the reigns and let the child learn things for themselves, but a parent doesn't ever completely stopteaching their child values and morals. Heck, I still ask my parents for advice on relationships, things I should be doing and even if I'm wrong in doing something. Also, you're right. Privilege it is.[/size][/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] Freud was right about a few things, primarily that we are very imprint vulnerable at young age. It is in that time-period that we are very impressionable and that has much to do with what we eventually become. This means that this kind of consistancy is even more important. [quote name='Nerdsy'][color=deeppink]I would say that this, even, does not [i]truly[/i] work. In elementary school, I had absolutely terrible behavioral problems; I was a hyper little **** and nothing could calm me down. Until the riddlen, that is. I don't remember what the infraction was, but I got in so much trouble with my dad and stepmother that they took away [i]absolutely everything.[/i] Television (and by extension video games), toys, even my library card. They then set up a system where I would get my passtimes back after chores and good behavior. Yes, I was a little angel then, but as soon as I had all my stuff back I reverted to being a little ****. The rebuilding of trust may have inspired behavioral modification, but it didn't last beyond my short-sighted goals.[/color][/QUOTE] Do you still take the methylphenidate (ritalin)? I have before and I feel that it shouldn't be on the market. As a stimulant, it has a type of action that is very oriented in the arteries and cardiovascular system, moreso than most other stims. It does so in a sense that is very yucky. If you are still taking the MPH, I suggest you try something else. I was very ADHD myself as a child, and have had issues all my life. If you wanted a suggestion as to something else, I recommend Adderall. Also be sure to drink more liquid than usual and eat more food than usual whenever using either, because they drain the body.
  14. There's this one rap song my fellow lover listens to sometimes. Say it with me kids, fast as you can: officer officer officer overseer. XD In a way, police are just the continuation of the slave seers. Now that we are all enslaved without any separation of race there was a need for a certain kind of re-envisionment of things, shall we say! I am a Libra with Leo rising and Aquarius descending. Libra is about balance and justice, to put it in a nutshell. Suppose that's why I am more aware than many over how many drug offenders we throw in jail, and how little time murders and those of that sort get. I myself went to jail over cannabis. It was completely injust, and I understood this. No one else in the courtroom seemed to. To add insult to injury, the judge treated me terribly. This was my first time going through this system, so I didn't know that I could've plead no contest instead of just either guilty or not guilty. The judge failed to inform me of this, which is a direct violation of my rights. This was also the first mark on my record but they threw unsupervised probation at me (when they knew cannabis is medicinal hence legal here in Cali, and that I had a medicinal card) [I]and[/I] a fine. I felt it was very cruel and harsh. I was forced to sign a piece of paper while my mother sat in the back of court, and all the people around me too--utterly oblivious to the injustice going on here. I just shook my head and was utterly disgusted. Alas I signed, because I wanted to go back home to Cali. I am not saying that police are completely useless or a wrong function of society. I am saying, though, that not all of our laws are very lawful in the sense that they are not based upon anything rational, reasoned, or logical. The criminals which emerge are, in part, a direct manifestation and emanation of the police. The police are "good," we say, and the criminals "bad." But in reality it's not so black and white, which the OP's article gives us one example of. Think about it: both have guns, both want to control. Is the line between the two really so different? In the case of what happened to me, for example, scientifically we now understand that cannabis is less harsh on the body than alcohol and less addictive than nicotine. This is a fact. Thus, going by the logic of the US's scheduling system, cannabis has every right to be legal, especially because it is medicine. My boyfriend, for example, was in a psychosis for a period of time. Cannabis is the only thing that took him out of it. If he goes a day without cannabis, I will see his mental health decline. This is how necessary it is for him. He is also a chronic pain patient with three lumbar discs broken in the lower back, of which cannabis is necessary for too. Another great example of how ridiculous our drug laws are is that cocaine is a serotonin-norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor, and anti-depressants are modeled to do the very same thing (some only hit serotonin, others a few others, and they're now working on one that does all the reuptake inhibition of cocaine). The other thing we failed to mention for the longest time is that anti-depressants cause dependency and withdrawal. Many psychiatrists, etc., will use a different, euphemistic term. . .But that's exactly what it is. Of course, there are many other examples, not all drug-related. It is just a subject that I feel I have much knowledge of, and I feel people deserve to have actual, wholesome data instead of the brainwash we often shove down peoples' throats concerning this. I mention the subject only because of its relation to the OP's post, and to educate. I feel that the officer did not need to taser to accomplish his task. All he had to do was have someone assist him in keeping her contained, put the cuffs on, then be on his way. I think police should be trained very innately that violence is used only when necessary.
  15. [quote name='DeathKnight'][color=crimson]Mitch, you look older and wiser. And hairier. Much hairier. :P [img]http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs106.snc3/15331_186187283284_543153284_3068330_4882378_n.jpg[/img] smokin' at pedernales falls [img]http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs106.snc3/15331_186187128284_543153284_3068304_270182_n.jpg[/img] good times[/color][/QUOTE] Yeah, I am 23 now. Definitely do feel more experienced and wise, especially after all that's happened (it's been a hell of a two years here in Cali, let me tell you). And man, you're smoking the wrong stuff! :P Om shanti/ om shakti. Love is the law, love under will.
  16. Tool, Iron Maiden, Vintersorg, Agent Orange, New Model Army, and Megadeth to name a few.
  17. I heart Nerdsy as well. We have an obsession with cleanliness that borders at times to insanity. For example, the immune system is strongest when it has the most exposure to micro-organisms possible. That is how it becomes immune to them. By washing our hands all the time we are directly infringing upon this, not to mention that then the micro-organisms evolve and can no longer be destroyed by what so easily destroyed them before. Same applies with bathing often. We do the same with our scent. When we were not where we are now, the scent of another person was very important. It still is important. Of course, today we know about pheromones. A person's body odor, in a certain way, can be very enjoyable. You have to approach it with an open enough mind: think you are like the dog, who does not put his nose up at any smell except in curiousness and such a specific sensual delight as is beyond us but has only compare in how we see. I can see where our cleanliness obsessions come from, though. It's like over-expression and use of the symbolic circuit. We manipulate artifacts in reality and have a certain view of organization that isn't so different from termites. That said, there is a certain level of organization in society that is necessary (you have to accept what it is and face it), and a certain degree of cleanliness and such that is completely necessary too. When you think about it, one person's disorganization is another's organization; and one person's organization is another's disorganization. We all have different ideas of what organization and cleanliness even means. It could be said that these words are so often used in a colloquial and too personalised sense that they become meaningless: one might as well explain what one means by the words instead of using them at all. One thing I can agree with the OP about is how lazy people can be sometimes. I literally have done the dishes for 5 people, including myself, for so long I can't remember. We recently had Thanksgiving. I helped much with the cooking. The least I expected was for the people enjoying the meal I worked so hard to make to clean up the dishes. Two days later, and my boyfriend's mom, who helped make the meal, is cleaning it up. Everyone else is just sitting down. Frustrating. I get tired of feeling like I'm martyring myself. I don't just do the dishes around here. When I'm not caregiving for my boyfriend I've been doing a lot of work. I'm trying to get this house cleaned, but the thing is I can't do it alone. Everyone has to pitch in. I pull my weight around here and more. If no one is willing to help with cleaning up here, then it's not going to get done.
  18. [quote name='Boo'][size=1][img]http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk95/jakeawesomejake/dude-the20big20lebowski.jpg[/img] Wow. I was expecting a shirtless Mitch, and instead it's like a completely different person with actual facial hair and clothing on. Awesome.[/size][/QUOTE] XD You remember me all too well. Fact be true, I was obsessed with exercising and did it way too excessively. I've since stopped being so fanatical and begun healing from the damage I caused. Still want to lift weights and run, but I'll run a lot less. Running is not the best kind of exercise, because it is so harsh on the joints. I do a lot of walking these days, and a lot of work on my feet. Got a new picture this thanksgiving. This is the longest my hair has ever been in my life. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/taraisaninja037-1.jpg[/url]
  19. A while ago I met someone on livejournal. I became obsessed with him. While it's not the full reason why I moved to California, it certainly had something to do with it. He moved to Cali too. I met him. The third time I met him at his place. He kicked me out, accusing me of stealing, and called me a bunch of names, and not to mention shoving me when he knew I was physically/ verbally abused as a child. He also stole a video game case worth over $450, the quartz crystals for my first wand (which is very important to me, seeing as I am a magician), not to mention a dreamcatcher and a necklace my love had made with very special materials. He told me to wait outside his place and he'd be back. After being abused by him, there was no way I was ever going to talk to him again. I walked off and wandered around San Francisco all day trying to figure out what to do. Ended up at San Fran Uni. A nice girl let me use her cell to call home. Then I wandered a ways till I hit a Safeway. I was there for over 5 hours. Though a fellow gave me $13 so I was able to feed my starving self (thanks for understanding, universe). When a ride arrived, we called him and told him to meet us to drop my stuff off. He refused. I messaged him on LJ when I was back here. He asked for address. I gave it. Then he replied saying, "Whoops I threw it all in the trash," which is just a utter cop-out. Then he continued harassing me through messages. I told him the next one he sent would mean I would ban him. He did it, I banned him from my journal. Then he started posting poems on a site called allpoetry, and left messages to my lover's livejournal and allpoetry, as well as IM'ing my mom. I found out that he wanted one thing from me all along, and one thing only. Into my pants. I learned a big lesson here. Things are never what they appear. There are a lot of cruel people out there. I was also wrong about my lover. When I first met him, I thought he was a sociopath. He used to be insane for a period of time. He had urges to hurt and kill people, specifically people who do nothing in society but destroy and hurt themselves. He is a very predatory, beastial person. But he gave me the greatest gift of surprise: he is not a sociopath. In fact, there is a very compassionate side to him. He is incredibly loving, incredibly self-sacrificing, caring. Some might find it paradoxical that he is so sadistic on one hand, but on the other such the opposite. When I was younger, I wrote a story about a serial killer who kills his own father after his father rapes him for the final time. It is part of where my connexction to my lover is. As I was abused, it was kind of an artistic catharsis on my part. 93.
  20. Actually didn't know about the ban at all. Gotta love the great old wonderful Disunited States of Amercia: keeping its masses blatantly ignorant and using them as slaves [i]a la[/i] the collection-things where people are held by the machines in [i]The Matrix[/i] since just a ways after 1776! Actually I want to leave this country as soon as possible. Everything is so ***-backwards. I am in favor of lifting the ban, personally. So far I have not seen any valid arguments the other way. And let's all face it, Boo pwns. :D Om shanti, om shakti. Love is the law, lover under will.
  21. [quote name='DeathKnight'][color=crimson]Ta shi wo de pengyou! Women zai St. Mary's xuexi hanyu. Wo hen gaoxing. I'm done with that now. [img]http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs216.snc1/8331_131637753410_584683410_2787944_1145905_n.jpg[/img] [img]http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs079.snc3/14657_174910603284_543153284_2981949_4392323_n.jpg[/img][/color][/QUOTE] It's Ken! Love the look of surprise on thine face. Remember Mitch? Present! [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/mitchorns.jpg[/url] These are my horns, as my lover sees them. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/DSCN2635-1.jpg[/url] This is me with my lover. :) Love is will, love under law.
  22. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/yinyangink_mitch.jpg[/url] I was messing around with variations on the yin-yang symbol. It's an overall idea that I do that I love--manipulating and combining and splicing symbols together to see what kind of cohesions and such I can make. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/civildisobedience_sketch-mitch.jpg[/url] I drew this in jail. [[url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/wizardserpent_mitch.jpg[/url] I used to have a magician's hat that I bought a couple of years back at an after-clearance sale at wal-mart. I since lost it. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/chimera.jpg[/url] A sketch of a chimera made by using a drawing help book. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/androgyne.jpg[/url] Androgyne. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/lionserpent1.jpg[/url] Lion-Serpent. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/shiva.jpg[/url] Shiva. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/bhairava.jpg[/url] Bharaiva, a form of Shiva. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/lionserpent.jpg[/url] Lion-Serpent and our dog, Manitou. [url]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d153/mitchellgrantsmith/ink001.jpg[/url] Egyptian.
  23. Actually it was my lover who recognized my potential and gave me the motivation to improve at drawing etc. Also because one day I realized that the more mediums of art, the more expression (I also play guitar, write poetry/ stories, and so on).
  24. [quote name='taperson'][SIZE="1"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]I took a half an eighth of shrooms, & it was great for a while, but I keep crying, & I am scared that it will never go away, & my boyfriend has not been answering his phone. I pretty much just want this to be over. But we recorded it all, & the part of me that still understand what is normal is telling me that that is a good thing.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/QUOTE] The fungi consciousness is helping you do some emotional work, but you don't seem to understand. I know. My first experience was very intensely emotional. Do not be afraid. They are an ally, and they will teach you if you listen with open mind and heart. It will end. Om shanti/ om shakti, Love is the law, love under will.
  25. Megadeth's new album, [I]Endgame[/I] which came out in September. It's pretty good. I can see what he meant by Chris, his new lead guitarist, being like Ozzy finding Randy Rhoads now after two albums with him on board of Megadeth.
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