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Drunk people do funny things


Heaven's Cloud
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I don't know if this is appropriate, so feel free to delete it!!!

I finished exams yesterday, so last night my roomates and I decided to go celebrate downtown at the local bars. After several hours of drinking we took a cab bak home. We were all quite enebriated(sp) and quite hungry so I ordered a pizza. A few minutes later my friends fell asleep and I was left alone to wait for the pizza man. 45 minutes passed and he still hadn't shown up, by this time the alcohol begin to make me quite tired. So, being drunk and stupid, I wrote out a checkand left it on the door window pane. The check was inside the house but facing outside so the deliverer could see the check. It was my hopes that pizza man would open the door, take the check (which included a good tip), and leave the pizza. Well, I was startled out of my sleep 20 min later, by some one shouting obsenities then tearing out of my driveway. It turns out that I left the door locked so the pizza guy couldn't get the check. I called the pizza place earlier today and it turned out that the delliverer thought that I was angry for the pizza taking so long to arrive that I put the check in the window (with the good tip) and locked the door in order to taunt the pizza man:alcohol:
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[color=rainbow] Yeah, drunk people do do funny things. At my friends parent's wedding, his two aunts were drunk, and and they were chasing him around the house screaming gibberish and offering him some beer..and the funny thing is, it's caught on tape! :alcohol: [/color]
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[B]My friend got terribly drunk once and fell out the window at a party. We were on the first floor of someones house and we were all thinking about how much trouble we were in when to our surprise he came running back up the stairs and jumped back out the window, screaming to us that it was "Really ******* Cool!" I don't reccomend....[/B]
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Heaven's Cloud [/i]
[B]Don't quit drinking LM, I tried it once and the sudden boost that you get in your self esteem is just sickening:alcohol: [/B][/QUOTE]

well, i think i'm god already, so assuming your theory is correct, if i quit drinking i'd [I]really[/I] be out of control.
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[color=deeppink]Okey, I guess now I'll share one of my stories...or two.

One time this summer I was at a house with three guys and two of my chica friends, and we all got pretty drunk. We went outside because it was so hot and the house didn't have AC, and ended up rolling around in the grass (I don't remember parts of this) and getting all dirty.

But in the proccess, a car drove by the house (which was in the country, and the road was right next to where we were laying) and thinking it would be funny, one of the guys started shouting "Penis!!!" as loud as he could.

Before he had started shouting, we all thought it was a cop that was next to the house in his car so I was sorta just laying there scared but too sure what the hell was going on. Afterward it was funny...even though I couldn't really comprehend...

Mesa [/color]:alcohol:
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[color=indigo]Okay I have one more drunken moment that I will share with you. During the summer I was at a really big party. There was tons of alcohol and I indulged in quite a bit of it. My friend in I somehow wondered across the street into a day care parking lot where everybody is parking for the party. All of a sudden a car swerves into the parkin lot almost hitting my friend. My friend is a big guy, 6'2 225 or so, and he goes up to the drivers window and says "sir, can you step out of the car". The driver believes that we are cops for some reason, and gets out of the car. My friend gives the driver a fake sobriety test and then tells the driver that he won't give him a ticket if he promises not to drive home at night. We let the kid go and burst into laughter. We continue stopping cars in the parking lot, and people just keep assuming that we are cops. This goes on for an hour until I tell a kid that he should go home because the paddy wagon is coming. Five minutes later a hundred or so people begin rushing to there cars, leaving the party. I stopped a girl that was walking by and asked her what was going on. She said that the party was broken up because there are two undercover cops in the parking lot and the police are on the way to bust up the party....:laugh: :alcohol: :laugh: [/color]
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LOL that was rather funny... ahh I must remember that for future days... because I won't be drunk, unlike you, I'll just do it out of spite and fun lol.

As for drinking stories... uh yeah... I have none. This boy no drinky.... although last night I had a Strawberry Margarita which is like the ONLY alcohol I like... my mom let me have hers lol... but I always make fun of people when they drink.. esspecially my dad... he doesn't drink at all really, just like when we have family freinds over or something... and he drinks Carona alot when we have people over... but thats about it... I always pick on him... I really can't understand why people can stand the horrid taste any alcohol puts in your mouth... then again.... i really don't have a say what can be considered horrible going in my mouth.... LOL!... ok I'll spare you all lol
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[SIZE=1]:rotflmao: That's some funny stuff!!! Well... I don't drink and I don't plan ever doing such a thing, but my dad [i]did[/i] send me a forwarded email this morning I think it's fitting to the topic. It goes as such:

[b]Moral Stories[/b]

Teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell
them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kid came back
and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, "My father is a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of
the pickup when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying
and broke and made a mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!

"Very good," said the teacher.


Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time,
but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this
story is, "don't count your chickens before they've hatched."

That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"


"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen
was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to
bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a
machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it
wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy
troops.
She killed seventy
of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed
twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the
last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?"


"Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."[/SIZE]
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i don't drink, i'm only 14, but i did find this :bluelaugh: funny :blulaugh: thing, lol:

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your *** kicked.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.


:alcohol: :lecture: :alcohol:

teacher: what did we learn kids?

kids: Warning labels lie!

:alcohol: :lecture: :alcohol:
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mike [/i]
[B]


teacher: what did we learn kids?

kids: Warning labels lie!

[/B][/QUOTE]

[color=deeppink]Actually...the funny thing is...[i]those[/i] don't...they're are all so true that they made me literally LOL...beh :blulaugh: [/color]
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Guest Master O Beans
Mahaha! I have many great stories of drunken escapades...

They range from: passing out while walking down stairs...knocking on windows at 4am...to swimming in a freezing cold pond. :) Heh, I could go on and on :rotflmao:
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My teacher got drunk once with his friends...they took a hunting gun with them an a lot of booze...my teacher got drunk as his other "friends." Nature called so he had to empty his bladder in front of a tree...fortunately...the tree exploded...he looked back and he found out the gun went off and gashed the side of his head and the bullet dove into the tree.

"Dude! You almost killed me!"

"I know"

"LOL!!!"
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Guest Master O Beans
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RicoTranzrig [/i]
[B]My teacher got drunk once with his friends...they took a hunting gun with them an a lot of booze...my teacher got drunk as his other "friends." Nature called so he had to empty his bladder in front of a tree...fortunately...the tree exploded...he looked back and he found out the gun went off and gashed the side of his head and the bullet dove into the tree.

"Dude! You almost killed me!"

"I know"

"LOL!!!" [/B][/QUOTE]


Haha! I try to make it a habbit of not playing with guns while I'm drunk :) ...although I have done it in the past, heh, not everybody finds pointing real guns at eachother as amusing as I did :butthead: :excited:
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Guest Voodookanaka
theres o many dumb/hilarius things ive done while drunk or stoned, I dont think I should really talk about them....i dont think i really want to either.
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OMG i have one that is a lot worse. I did not do it, a friend did, adn i will leave his name as unmentioned.

So i went to his house to spend the night durring the summer. It was about 11:00 P.M. and all the lights every where were off down the street. So we went ot the road and waited till a car started to come close. And then we ran off into his yard and hid behind trees. Well we started to do funny things to the road. throwing garbage and stuff into the middle of it. After a while when there were no cars comming my friend ran out to the road, and took a crap right there in the road. It was so ****in funny, the next morning we went out to the road and there was a Brown spot every foot all the way down the road.

Hows that storie for ya, but we weren't drunk, i want to know what he would have done if he was drunk.
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I've done so may stupid things when I'm drunk. This was one of my worse nights:

We went to Covent Garden (in London) for a large one. I was with some american mates who were visiting and I don't think they went away with a very good impression. After standing outside singing drinking songs for about an hour and visiting most of bars in the area we decided that as we could barely see it was time to head home. At this point it was 1 am and unbeknownst to us out train left at 1.30. If any of you have ever been on the underground in london at that time of night you know that you can barely move let alone get on the train, so when one pulled up with space for juust a few people I pushed my mates on with a "don't worry I'll get the next one and meet you at the station, get off in two stops". Unfortunately I had lost the ability to see and think beacuse I sent them in the wrong direction!! Oooops!:o So I got on the tube and went to the station but they weren't there. I spent two hours looking for them and waiting - they had got the train but I didn' know this. In the end the station shut and I got chucked out and to cut an already long story short I had to get a taxi from london to colchester which cost £80 - and that only after I grovelled with the taxi driver. And the worst part? When I got home at 5 am my flatmate told me that if I had just walked round the corner there was a 24 hour cafe where I could have waited to get the train!!! I really am stupid when I'm drunk!!

And this is one of the least embarassing...........
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mike [/i]
[B]
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

[/B][/QUOTE]

BWAHAHAHAHA! i can vouch for this one, i can only remember half the stuff that's happened to me since i turned 21...

once, i got arrested for "drunk & disorderly in hospital" for taking swings at the doctors... had to spend a week in jail... parents wouldn't bail me out & i had to wait for the arraignment... sucked!
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I believe Jenna posted once that a friend told her that, she and sexual were synonymous, well, to make my point from that I will take that and make my own quote...
[quote]
Justin, Friday/Saturday night, and drunk are, under most circumstances, found frolicing joyfully hand in hand in hand[/quote]
Drinking is not something I suggest you allow to become habitual...

-Justin
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