Dragon Warrior Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Yes, I am back again. I have made a return to post a new story following the current life of a very unlucky young man who gets involved in a whole mess of crime without actually intending to. His sarcastic wit and quick quips often get the hell beaten out of him, so there are definitely some laughs along the way. If you enjoy my style of writing or humor, you might enjoy this. On another note, it is a mature piece containing violence and swearing. I'm aware almost everything in the Anthology is practically mature, but in this case, it gives me more freedom to do what I need to with the plot I've developed. I assure you, it's all necessary. Enjoy. [CENTER][SIZE="4"]When Luck Shoots You Down[/SIZE] [SIZE="1"]By Gavin Kendrick Brown[/SIZE] [B]Chapter One: Oh, How I Hate Mornings[/B][/CENTER] [size=1]My name is Kensley Marcellus; And I have the worst friggin? luck. And currently I have thirteen semi-automatics pushed against my skull like I was a Beretta tree in full bloom. But let me back up real quick, for reference sake. It was a normal day in the rather dull city of? well? the name doesn?t matter. I?m just your average fella'. I mean, I put my pants on one leg at a time like the rest of the gray mass of humankind. It just so happened that the ass in those pants was going to get the beating of a life time later that morning. But I wasn?t too concerned?considering I had no apparent clue that this future event was to occur. Reaching into my cupboard, I pulled out the ground coffee and poured it into the coffee maker. I turned it on and it made a rather unusual moaning sound. Oh, how I wished only once the moaning in my apartment came from my girlfriend rather than a kitchen appliance. I took a good long look around my apartment. Well, it wasn't that long of a look considering it was one of those one-room places you buy for cheap. It might?ve been like a small square white-plastered cell, but it was my small square white-plastered cell. I closed the cupboard door softly and the walls groaned much like the coffee maker. The ceiling fan swayed as though it?d crash to the floor at any time. I scoffed, then poured some of the coffee into a cup. I took a sip. Mmm? I love how my coffee maker doesn?t quite grind every bit. It?s alright. I?ll appreciate chunky coffee. I didn?t even get a second sip before my door was busted down and I was jumped by several well-dressed men. A few more leapt out of my hamper like it was the friggin? Trojan Horse. Apparently they had been there for quite a while. I couldn?t help but smirk. Joke?s on them; I had some pretty rank socks in there. ?How are you feeling this morning, Toby?? one barked. I squinted at them like they were mentally handicapped. ?I?d feel a lot better if one of you nice fellows would call a door repair place for that. I can?t afford it; not on this week?s pay.? ?Shut up!? another scolded. ?Well, alright.? Suddenly, guns were in my face. I?m not going to lie, it made me feel a tad claustrophobic. ?Could you remove your barrel from my nostril?? One walked up close to me. He looked like the leader. I couldn?t be sure. They were all pretty decked out. I?d kill for one of those suits. ?You?ve got quite the mouth on you, Toby,? he said. ?So did my last girlfriend,? I joked. I do that. I joke when I?m nervous. Wouldn?t you be slightly in the pants-shitting mode if you had some hot iron pressed against your cranium? ?Funny guy,? the leader chuckled. ?He?s a funny guy.? The others snickered a bit, then the leader turned back to me with a stern glare. ?You shouldn?t be talking like that when you?re in such deep shit.? ?Damn, and me without my boots on.? ?Say another smart ass remark, Toby, and we will blow your brains all across these tacky walls.? ?First off, I didn?t paint these ?tacky? walls, and for another thing, stop calling me Toby. My name is Kensley.? The leader almost burst into laughter. No wait?he did. He did burst into laughter. But only for a second. I must?ve missed the joke. ?Kensley? Oh, that?s a good one. Don?t bullshit me, Toby. We want to know everything you know or else.? ?Um? well, I hear the Tigers are going to do well this season.? The leader nodded and suddenly I was feeling a real sharp pain in my jaw. It probably had something to do with me getting pistol-whipped by one of those damn thugs. ?You guys dress well, but your manners are shit.? ?Tell us what you know, Toby,? the leader pressed on. This guy does not waste time. ?For the love of Bill Cosby?s comedy, I have no fucking clue what you?re talking about. I dropped out of high school. I hated Mrs. Henderson?s class. She was such a bitch. I didn?t learn a God damn thing!? I admit I was getting flustered. But the leader kept his cool. He stared at me directly in the eyes. I stared back. It was awkward. ?So? are you going to ask me on a date or something?? ?Fine, Toby,? the leader said softly, ?we can do this the hard way.? He gestured and another pistol smashed against my cheek. ?Fucking goats, that hurts, you dicks!? Another gun rendezvoused with my face. ?Shit? does it always have to be the face? What?s wrong with you people?? ?We tried to negotiate, Toby,? the leader said. ?You don?t like to listen to reason.? ?I like to listen to reason,? I pleaded. ?Bring Reason in here. I?ll have a whole fucking conversation with the guy.? ?The time for mercy has passed, Toby.? ?I?m not Toby. What the shit is this? Is this because I haven?t paid my taxes? All it does is pay welfare so that shits can buy porn.? ?He?s not going to talk,? the leader said, sitting in my chair. He smiled, and said coolly, ?Kill him.? I had to think fast. But I was never fast. You should?ve seen me in track. Still, nevertheless, words carelessly fell from my lips. ?You don?t want to kill me.? ?Oh, I think I do,? the leader smirked. ?This is the last time you get to mess with the Thirteen Berettas.? I then realized there happened to be thirteen men there with thirteen Berettas. Go figure. ?Oh, thirteen Berettas. That?s original.? ?Kill him. I?m sick of his voice.? ?No! If you try to kill me, I will?? I looked about the place and it came to me. ?I will kill your boss with my ceiling fan.? The leader laughed. He does that too much. ?Ha, how do you propose to do that?? I then used my right leg, which happened to not have grubby hands all over it, and kicked the wall right where a stud happened to be. The ceiling fan immediately became loose from above and fell directly on the leader, still spinning. I won?t get into the gritty details, but it scared the other men off me. Thank God, ?cause one of them I swear was grabbing my ass. I took off running down the apartment building hallways to escape. ?Guess they have to change their name to the Twelve Berettas now.? I could hear them trailing close behind and some gunfire, but I figured I was far enough ahead to make a clean getaway. Well, as clean as it could be while you have some mob boss? blood all over your pajamas. I saw the door to the outside just up ahead when suddenly a man stepped in the way. He had a gun. And I did not. ?Oh, for the love of?? I muttered. I thought I was in the clear. ?Hey, Toby,? smiled the man. ?You have a debt to pay.? I panted and whined. Whoever this Toby guy was, he had a lot of debts. And like I said before, I have the worst friggin? luck.[/size] Comments would be lovingly appreciated :] I will get on chapter two then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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