PWNED Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 This thread is created for when you have created those just so harsh comebacks when someone has insulted you. For example: My Friend: You are drunk on your own power, you know that. Myself: And you are bloody ugly, however i'll be sober on my own power tomorrow morning. But you'll always be ugly. And remember, only the best should be posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigun 11 Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Hmmmmmm I've made so many innapropriate language comebacks I'll try to think of one with clean language. ............. ................ .................... Got It ! This girl from school was making fun of me dressing like a guy and hanging out with them and this is what I said . " I'd rather dress like a guy and hang out with males than be a snot-nosed prissy bimbo with friends who talk behind her back. Guys are loyal. They DON'T talk behind your back if you're a friend of theirs. Besides, You're just mad cause I get along with them so well and that I don't give a flip about what they think of me. At least I'm not obsessing over them , clothes, and makeup. I have better things to do besides worry about those things. I have GRADES to worry about and SPORTS to also worry about . So Excuse me for not being a prissy snot-nosed bimbo. That's all the 'clean' stuff I left out some stuff cause of language Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 [color=darkviolet]Hmm, comebacks...well. Yeah I have those I was comming back from picking up pizza for dinner and I stopped at this stop sign in the parkinglot, but this lady speeding through the parkinglot didn't think I stopped long enough. Made her left hand turn infront of me, then slammed on the brakes, got out of her SUV and began walking over to my car. She stopped 1/2 way between her SUV and my car and screamed: You know you're supposed to stop at stop signs. I replied: You know, getting out of your vehicle and yelling at people is a sign of roadrage. Wal*Mart Killeen TX last year: A guy hands me this pamphlet , I look at it, notice it's one of those end of the world guides and tell him no thank you. [b]Guy[/b]-*Suprised and ernest* But it's about Hell! [b]Me[/b]-*deadpan* I've lived in TExas for almost a year, I think know everything there is to know about Hell. Those are really my best two for right now. I may be able to think of more later.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 [QUOTE=Daermon_Nashabe]My Friend: You are drunk on your own power, you know that. Myself: And you are bloody ugly, however i'll be sober on my own power tomorrow morning. But you'll always be ugly.[/QUOTE][size=1]Amusing. Also, in its more concise form, widely attributed to Sir Winston Churchill.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColourDeaf Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 True that, Lore... How about this? Jehovah's Witness at my door: Would you let jesus into your house? Me: Yeah, but you can [edited] off. Next day (they were busy that week) Jehovah's Witness: Would you let jesus into your house? Me: Actually, he just left, but if you run I think you can catch him... Religious evangelist vs. me Me: So, according to you, how many people will be let into heaven? RE: One hundred and twenty two thousand Me: And how many people are in your religion? RE: about 9 billion Me (walking away): Sorry, I prefer a religion with better odds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan L Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 [QUOTE=ColourDeaf]Me: So, according to you, how many people will be let into heaven? RE: One hundred and twenty two thousand Me: And how many people are in your religion? RE: about 9 billion Me (walking away): Sorry, I prefer a religion with better odds[/QUOTE] Apparently Jehovah's Witnesses avidly believe in that exact number of people being saved, so life is like a big competition for them. Hence every goes around sharing the JW belief at people's doorsteps, to rack up a big "people-I've-preached-to quota" in order to be one of the top 122,000.. As for me I think God's flexible. And my favourite comeback has to be- Jude (my housemate): I was praying for a woman earlier on Me: Did one turn up? (alas, it's a slightly christian-ized comeback but heh.. what can I say..) note: it's probably also important to note that Jude is male. To someo f you that's obvious, but we had two Judes in TT this year- one of each gender- so you can't be too careful.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 I've always had fun with insults and comebacks. To name some: [b]Person1:[/b] Bite me! [b]Person2:[/b] Which acre? Or... [b]Person1:[/b] Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had your face I'd live in a zoo. [b]Person2:[/b] Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me beautiful, what happened to you? That last pair was more of just insults, but I like 'em :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 [QUOTE=Dan L]Apparently Jehovah's Witnesses avidly believe in that exact number of people being saved, so life is like a big competition for them. Hence every goes around sharing the JW belief at people's doorsteps, to rack up a big "people-I've-preached-to quota" in order to be one of the top 122,000.. [/QUOTE] [color=purple]Wrong. As a Jehovah's witness, i amappauled you would say that.[/color] [color=darkorchid]First of all, it's 144,000. Read this: "And I saw, and look! the Lamb standing upon Mount Zion, and with him a houndred and forty-four thousand having his name and name of his father written on their foreheads" (Revelation 14:1)[/color] [color=purple]That 144,000 will be the ones ruling in heaven as kings along with Jesus. The other will live on the Earth forever in a perfect state, in a global Eden.[/color] [color=darkorchid]On topic, my best come-back is: yo mama[/color] [color=purple]And good one when someone says something then slips: Smooth moove Ex-lax, need a tablet?[/color] [color=#800080][/color] [color=darkorchid]_-Nate-_[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danethol Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 [QUOTE=Nate][color=purple]Wrong. As a Jehovah's witness, i amappauled you would say that.[/color] [color=darkorchid]First of all, it's 144,000. Read this: "And I saw, and look! the Lamb standing upon Mount Zion, and with him a houndred and forty-four thousand having his name and name of his father written on their foreheads" (Revelation 14:1)[/color] [color=purple]That 144,000 will be the ones ruling in heaven as kings along with Jesus. The other will live on the Earth forever in a perfect state, in a global Eden.[/color] [/QUOTE] ....okaayy..*steps away slowly* Anyways, I thought my latest wasn't bad. *FWI, my friend Adrian is a bit...[B][I]round[/B] [/I].* Adrian : *noticing I paid $5 for a coffee from Starbucks* That's a little overpriced. You got screwed, man! Me : Actually, I was born with a beautiful body. Looks like [U]you[/U] got screwed. Meh. It may not be as [B]Zy-Zigga[/B] as the insults cooked up in the cobwebby nether regions of Dragon Warrior's cranium, but I think it's passeable. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 [color=darkviolet]I had a telemarketer call me once at [b]7:45AM[/b]! And ask if I'd like to consider their long distance service. Never mind the fact that I was feeling like crap and probably sounded like it too. [b]Guy[/b]-*ungodly perky at this time of morning* good morning ma'am, would you be interested in...blah blah blah? [b]Me[/b]-*irritated* No, but hey, how about you give me your home number and I'll call you at some ungodly hour to ask you some mundane question? Damn it all if the guy didn't hang up. My mama is really funny when those guys call her house and want her to change phone services. She usually tells them that she doesn't own a phone, but once she asked them to call back later because the owners weren't at home. I guess the guy asked when to call back and she replied that she didn't know because she was only robbing the place. Pretty good for an 83 year old don't you think?[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Thank ye, Dane :D It was still zy-zigga ^_^ Here's another. I like these kind: [b]Person1:[/b] Roses are red, violets are blue, if I have to see your face, I might have to sue. [b]Person2:[/b] Roses are red, violets are blue, if God made a mistake, it'd have to be you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 [color=darkviolet]What about this one? [b]Person one[/b]:Roses are red, violets are blue. Who the **** let you out of the zoo? [b]Person two[/b] Roses are red adn roses are pink. Roses smell good, but damn do you stink. It'[s amazing what boredum and mint ting a ling ice cream will do[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Meh. I can match wits. [b]Person1:[/b] Roses are red, violets are blue, you achieved something in life, there's something new. [b]Person2:[/b] Roses are red, violets are blue, I've seen your face before in my dog's poo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danethol Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 For that special lady in your life... Roses are red, violets are blue. Umm, about that threesome...can we add another two? Roses are red, violets are blue. Hey, nice jugs! I'm glad you have two. No yelling please! You'll be pleased to know I sent the second "poem" to a girl friend of mine. The left side of my face was purple for two days. The right side was blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan L Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 [QUOTE=Nate][color=purple]Wrong. As a Jehovah's witness, i amappauled you would say that.[/color] [color=darkorchid]First of all, it's 144,000. Read this: "And I saw, and look! the Lamb standing upon Mount Zion, and with him a houndred and forty-four thousand having his name and name of his father written on their foreheads" (Revelation 14:1)[/color] [color=purple]That 144,000 will be the ones ruling in heaven as kings along with Jesus. The other will live on the Earth forever in a perfect state, in a global Eden.[/color] [color=darkorchid]On topic, my best come-back is: yo mama[/color] [color=purple]And good one when someone says something then slips: Smooth moove Ex-lax, need a tablet?[/color] [color=#800080][/color] [color=darkorchid]_-Nate-_[/color][/QUOTE] Note: "Apparently" is a word which I often put when I mean that may sources aren't entirely reliable. And also, JW beliefs (like those of any other denomination) come in certain extremes. [i]Apparently[/i] a lot of them believe as I already said (and as for the numbers- I could have sworn that it was 144, but since I was too lazy to check I just went with the number that was already said- sorry about that). But then I'm Anglican, and I believe something radically different to your typical Church of England attendee. There are different extremes to which denominational beliefs can be held. I probably should have added that at some point. Lastly, I heard this in Rome. We split into two groups, and the other group bumped into a Jehovah's witness and Nick told us what I said earlier. For all I know, Jehovah's Witnesses have completely different beliefs out there to in more mainstream countries. My main point is- sorry if I offended you. Generally when I say "apparently this denomination believes this or that", it's not necessarily completely accurate (as indicated by the "apparently") and also it's not necessarily meant to cover the beliefs of everyone within that group. I probably should have gone into that in some small way in the post, but if I did it every time it's just get mundane :p. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baron Samedi Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 [size=1]Offer to help really arrogant people by opening doors for them so their head can fit through. I can't really think of any, so I'll do some hypotheticals. Person 1: You are such a loser. Person 2: Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? Bleh I am not to quickwitted at making things up.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 [color=darkviolet]I really enjoyed these few [b]My apartment mate, Joe, from Texas[/b]-You really should start doing more around the place. Lincoln might decide to leave you if you don't. [b]Me[/b]-Yeah, like I'm going to take some relationship advice from a guy whose wife left him for another woman while he was in Korea. [b] Joe[/b]- :mad: [b]Me[/b]- And who is so domestically challenged that he has his girlfriend iron his BDUs, and cut up his food. Gods, why don't you just have her chew it for you too? [b] Joe [/b] :mad: I walked away after that. The guy had a bit of a temper and I didn't want to have to get into anything too big This is good becuase it was right before they moved out. [b]Joe[/b]-*pissy as usual* Lincoln don't f-in' lock the top lock! (after he pretty much smashed the door in) [b]Lincoln[/b]-Hey man, I said I was sorry! [b]Joe[/b]-Well, I told you not to do it! [b]Me[/b]-Listen jackass he said he was sorry. now take your inner child and go take a nap or something. Few days later. [b]Joe[/b]-Some random stupid thing that he said about my husband being stupid. [b]me[/b]-I wouldn't try anything like that, I went to JAG today and told them about how you made a false police report to get out of paying for replacing that door. [b]Joe[/b]-You jeopardized my military career over that? [b]Me[/b]-Well, you should have thought about that before you threw a tempoer tantrume, broke a door, falsified a poilice report, gone after me when you were drunk and oh, commited adultry by having a live in girl friend when you aren't divorced. [b]Joe[/b]-But Lincoln knew about it too. [b]me[/b]-Yeah, but a friend of mine whose husband is an NCO knows about your temper since we stayed at their house that night you went after me. And adultry is punishable by a dishonorable discharge in the military. So don't mess with me. Yes, I had pleanty of fun with that guy and his ego problems.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PWNED Posted July 13, 2004 Author Share Posted July 13, 2004 This guy that i hate from that i hate- Your taste in music is absolutely crap. Myself- As opposed to god knows what crap you listen to i wonder? Another one that I said recently Another Guy that I hate that is absolutely moronic- Do you like Jessica Simpson. Me- She's hot but not really. Him- Are you gay or something? Me- No, I just don't like idiots, DO YOU? Him- She ain't a idiot, She's just ********ng hot. Me- You obviously do not know your foolishness in this situation , Birds of a feather Fly together. (I am aware of my first post being like what Sir Winston Churchill once said. it's just that I was using my power a bit too much, so my friend said that to me and I just said that) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gelgoog Pilot Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Alright I used this one in a Modern American History class recently. So this guy who's really ok it in my class. During it he keeps asking dumb questions like "what if the Civil War never took place" or "What if the Nazis won WWII". Well after like a month of this I turned around right in class after he made such a remark, and said. "Alty (his nickname) what if you were never born? Then I wouldn't have to listen to you stupid questions now would I?" heh caught eveyone buy surprise with that one...even the teacher's face was beet red from laughing at it. Though after class he told to me to refrian from cutting people down anymore....stupid high school.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anime Punk 7734 Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I was in study hall when the stupid kids (jocks) gathered their desk's around and began talking about who they would "do". I was sitting in the corner quietly sketching a couple of pics. Tony: So derek , would you do...... elisa? Derek: Oh yea! *all laugh* Tony:Would you do Amanda? * all make gagging noises , HEY IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M NOT A PREP!* Tony:*to me* Only if you looked like halle Me: Only if you would get a life *all say "burn" or "OOHHHH!" Me:*slam my notebook shut and sit down w/friends , Tony's looking very P.O at his friends* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PWNED Posted July 13, 2004 Author Share Posted July 13, 2004 As you can see, I seriously have problems with many people. Myself: You know Brent? My friend: The one whose sexuallity is as straight as a round-a-bout? Myself- Jason... A round about is a fair bit straighter than Brents sexuallity, He is about as stragiht as you..... meaning not very straight at all. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another one I have said lately. a complete and utter dumbass at my School- Why do you need a book everywhere you go? Me- Why do you carry around your *** on your shoulders and your so called head up Aaron Cini's ***? Don't be ashamed that you didn't understand it. Most shaved monkeys don't understand it either. The Dumbass- What's that supposed to mean? Wait a minute... Did you insult me? Me- Hali-freakin-yulah, We have a break through, You IQ is now high enough to be able to Grunt properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezekiel Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 [COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]Okay, this one is a bit nasty, I was having an online MSN battle with one of my good male friends, I'm not going to boher explaining what had happened before this comment but anyways, [B]Joe:[/B] *after some weird roleplay thing happened that included me having my mouth taped closed by another friend* Why are you putting Jamie in bondage? That's Gingars job! [B]Me: [/B] *ignores the comment and moves onto something else* [B]Joe:[/B] You realsie that you never denied that it was Gingars job? [B]Me:[/B] Yes, well, that's because I refuse to play a part in this childish discussion that is just a way to feed your own little fantasies. [B]Joe:[/B] *after a long pause* **** off...... Well, it done the job ^^[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onix Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I've got one that's more of an insult than a comeback, but I was told was good. See, yesterday I was hanging out with my friends and one brough over her PS2 and the DDR game for it. She kept commenting on how at one point, there were naked people in the music video. Her: See! Did you see them? Me: They weren't naked! Her: Yes they were (I think there may have been a "moron" added to the end of this, but I'm not sure) Trevor: You are perverted and blind. Shut up. I thought it was good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mad Acer Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [QUOTE=Unborn Lord Xion]I've got one that's more of an insult than a comeback, but I was told was good. See, yesterday I was hanging out with my friends and one brough over her PS2 and the DDR game for it. She kept commenting on how at one point, there were naked people in the music video. Her: See! Did you see them? Me: They weren't naked! Her: Yes they were (I think there may have been a "moron" added to the end of this, but I'm not sure) Trevor: You are perverted and blind. Shut up. I thought it was good.[/QUOTE] That's a pretty bad combination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kawaii Inu Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Atchi e ike! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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