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The Infamous Prom


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Tomorrow is my school's prom, and I can't help but feel bad for not going. I know that I shouldn't let the conformists get to me, but every day I'm surrounded by prom posters and friends discussing their plans for prom. I would have gone, but the girl I want to go with has a boyfriend. She and I are really close friends, though, and she told me that if her boyfriend couldn't get leave (he's in the army), then she'd go with me. Does that make me, like, the "back-up" date? Anyways, I digress. The reason for this topic is to gather opinions on the prom. What's yours?
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[color=blue][size=1]"Conformists"? [i]That's[/i] what you call a bunch of people who just want to go to a dance and have fun during their last few weeks of high school? You're a 'goth', aren't you? And you sure seem to enjoy stereotypes, huh? =\

Anyway, on topic..

I'm a freshman in high school, so I don't go to prom yet. But my friend got asked by a junior to go to the junior prom. I was real happy for her. I, myself, hate dances because I can't dance. That, and no one ever seems to ask me to go. >_<;; But I can't wait for my chance to go to prom. It'll be a good chance to say good-bye to people. After all, most people never see their most high school friends after they go to college. Except at a high school reunion, of course. (Though I doubt I'll ever go to mine. xD)

And technically, Spirit Wolf, yes. Yes it does.[/size][/color]
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[quote name='Kitty][color=blue][size=1]"Conformists"? [i]That's[/i] what you call a bunch of people who just want to go to a dance and have fun during their last few weeks of high school? You're a 'goth', aren't you? And you sure seem to enjoy stereotypes, huh? =\[/size'][/color][/quote]
[size=1]Damn. Do you think you could have been any more rude?

I'm very sure that by conformists, SpiritWolf meant the people that go to prom just for the sake of going. The ones that'll spend a few hundred bucks on a dress or suit they will wear once, and then discard into the back of their closets to bring out on the night of that 10 year reunion and realize it doesn't fit anymore.
If you're going to go to prom just to say you went, for no other reason, I'd call that person a comformist.
And as for the goth comment you made, I feel exactly the same way SpiritWolf does. Does that make me a goth? Last time I checked, I don't own a single pair of black pants. Nor do I own a single piece of industrial metal jewelry, or overly hardwared clothing. I wear the same bluejeans and shirts I've had for years. SpiritWolf seems to have more insight into highschool life than you do.

My prom is later this month. I'm not particularly sure I'm even going to go. They're going to play music I hate. I'm going to see people I dislike. And that's fifty bucks out of my pocket that I could be using toward college or a car.
The only reason I'd have for going to prom is so I'd be able to go camping with a group of my friends afterward. And that's going cost about fifty anyway.

SpiritWolf, if you didn't want to go, would your friend go alone? Assuming her boyfriend didn't make it back. If not, then I'd say yes, you're the backup date. But if she would go, then I'd say you're just being a good friend by not letting her go alone.[/size]
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I myself hate proms & Dances for the same reason as Corey. I find that things like these feature people that go just for the sake of going. I don't see what is wrong about wearing a dress or suit from the year before if it still fits but spening a few hundred just for one night. I mean, My sister is wore my Mums wedding dress for her Deb but with a few minor differences and I am sure that my little sister has that also. I have an excellent suit that I rarely wear except for formal occasions and will wear until it won't fit. I'll have to go to a Deb next year and so I'll wear my suit, It's as simple as that.
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[COLOR=GREEN]I have a feeling this thread is going to get off topic soon, so I'll add my bit about prom while I can.

I didn't go to prom my junior year (we had one prom for juniors and seniors), and I kind of regreted it going into my senior year. I knew if I miss it that year, I would regrete it for the rest of my life. Any ways, I did go my senior year, and had a really good time; you don't need a date to have fun at a dance, just some friends. Even though I did have a date for prom, it was my first school dance I went to with a date all through high school. Also some of my friends who went didn't have dates.

I guess my opinions of all this come from the fact that there weren't really segragating cliques at my high school, at least not with us honors student (I guess we were too smart for cliques).

But let me add this, if you choose not to do something just so you're not following the "conformists," isn't it just as bad as doing someing just [B]to[/B] follow them?[/COLOR]
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[SIZE=1][quote name='SolarPrincess][COLOR=GREEN]But let me add this, if you choose not to do something just so you're not following the "conformists," isn't it just as bad as doing someing just [B]to[/B'] follow them?[/COLOR][/quote]
That's what I was about to say.

I mean, just not going for the sake of spiting these "conformists" seems stupider than buying the ticket to fit in. Yeah, Kitty jumped the gun a bit on her conclusions, but I can see where she we going with it. When I hear [I]conformist[/I], I don't think goth though. I think punk, but in general, the whole "let's rebel" thing is where she was intending to aim for.

I'm a sophomore (10th grader), so I don't know too much about the prom either. I know I'm going though ... it's just one of those things that in high school I'm going to do, since you only get one shot at it. Perhaps I'll ask a girl out to prom or something. Generally, I don't think it's a place for just "conformists" and slaves to popularity, rather than a last hurrah for high-school. I find it entertaining that you'd not want to go to prom, solely because "conformists" are going to be there, and have been talking about it for a while.

I believe that most people you're talking about who "go just for the sake of it" don't actually do that. I[I] think [/I] they're going there to have fun with their friends from high-school, whom they might not see every again.

I'm a conformist. And usually, especially in this case, it's quite alright.[/SIZE]
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I seem to have been misunderstood when I said conforminst. I was reffering to the people who make rash generalizations about me, simply because I'm not attending the prom. I mean the people who assume that anyone who doesn't go to prom is some kind of loser, or else a depressed little punk. By conformist, I mean the people who pressure and pressure and pressure until you're ready to crack, just because you're not going to a dance. Does that clear it up at all?
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But let me add this, if you choose not to do something just so you're not following the "conformists," isn't it just as bad as doing someing just [B]to[/B] follow them?[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I have to agree with Solar Princess's last sentence. And also with Corey's opinion too. If you want to go to Prom, don't. If you do, then go already. It shouldn't be a big deal..but you shouldn't be forced into something that you don't want to do.

[quote name='SpiritWolf']I seem to have been misunderstood when I said conforminst. I was reffering to the people who make rash generalizations about me, simply because I'm not attending the prom. I mean the people who assume that anyone who doesn't go to prom is some kind of loser, or else a depressed little punk. By conformist, I mean the people who pressure and pressure and pressure until you're ready to crack, just because you're not going to a dance. Does that clear it up at all?[/quote]

Now this seems silly, but I can totally relate to you. You see, I'm a senior in Highschool right now. Prom is coming up (real soon) for me. Its my year 05' and I'm graduating. Except for one problem, I don't go to a regular school. I switched when I was half way through my junior year to catch up because I got bad grades, and have been in a Independent Study Program (haha, funny I know. And YES there are people there. Its like a smaller school, with no dances.) I never liked school to begin with, I hate highschool, and its not like I'm a depressed teen with no friends, I had lots of friends. (Infact I talked too much which is why I got in trouble most the time and starting getting bad grades. oops?) I'm turning 18 this summer, the most constant question I get asked is, Are you going to prom?

The anwser is, no. I get pressured almost everyday by my best friend, mom, and everyone that I know saying it'll be the best thing ever and that you should just go to prom. I just dont want too. I haven't been to that school in awhile, I don't like wearing dresses and being formal and I have a boyfriend so that wouldn't be a problem with a date. It just goes to show you some people are not just cut out for prom, they just simply don't want too. I'd rather go to a night club when I'm 18 with my sisters, then go to a formal dance where you do the same thing only with people you have had to see forever. I won't miss highschool, and I'm already amped up for college. (its not a university, but a junior college but still) and I can't wait to be out of my own. People look at me like I'm crazy when I say I'm not going to MY prom, my sister never did it either.

The lesson here is, no matter how much people push you, you got to make your own decisions. Don't let them make you feel bad for your choice. You should go only if you want too, besides even if I went, most of my friends would have graduated already. (I made friends with all my upperclassmen, my classmates were too immature) There really is no point in me going to prom you see, most of my friends would have moved on, its not a big deal. But to all those going to prom, I hope you have fun and don't worry about being a comformist. Now THAT would be silly.
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[color=darkslateblue] ^_^ I'm only a freshman in high school, but I am [i]definately[/i] going to Prom sometime. I don't even care if I don't have a date, what's wrong with dancing and having fun with your friends? :) I'll be so excited when it comes, lol. You get to spend hours getting yourself pretty and then having a bunch of fun and then going to other random parties.


Actually, my friend suggested renting out the skating rink or the bowling alley after Prom and skate/bowl with our dresses on. (me: AWESOME!) And our circle of friends has enough people and rich parents to supply us with money... *plots*

Anyways...until Senior year. >_>[/color]
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It's interesting that this thread has come up, since it's been a topic that I have been constantly reminded of this past month or so, heh. Well.. I suppose it would have been a bigger coincidence had it been created before last Friday, which was the date of my school's prom, when it seemed to be the bottom of every conversation. But yeah, I didn't go.

I couldn't believe what a big deal everyone seemed to make of prom. This being my senior year of high school, there were tons of people asking me if I was going, and I quickly got tired of telling them the same thing over and over. I've always seen it as just another school dance, but with more hype; I had never gone to one before, so why start now? I guess you could say that it's become a part of American culture, something that's always going to be there that's for some people, and not for others.

Referring to the discussion on conformists and nonconformists, I'd really rather not open up that can of worms because I can see already that it will be the death of this thread, haha. All I would like to say on the matter is that you should do what you want to do; you shouldn't do something just because others are, just as you shouldn't [i]not [/i]do something just because others are. I don't see how you can rationalize either one to be better than the other. O.o

There are plenty of reasons that I decided not to go to prom, and I'll list them here for those of you curious.
[*]As I mentioned before, I've never gone to a dance before, so why make an exception?
[*]I don't dance other than on a DDR pad. :p
[*]There's no one that I have to or would want to go with, and forcing it would make things awkward.
[*]I didn't really have many (any?) friends going.
[*]Rediculous expenses; ticket, tux, limo, dinner, and the girl sometimes expects you to pay for her as well.
[*]Whether or not I go will not matter ten years from now, or even in the near future.
[*]I feel that a lot of it is geared toward a different audience (I'm not trying to generalize for others, but many people that I found who were really excited to go were planning on spending the night getting drunk and acting stupid).
[*]I'm not interested in the sort of music that they aparently usually play at dances, like rap or certain forms of techo. But especially those inevitable romantic ones, haha.
[*]I could go to anime club instead.
[*]Quite simply, I just didn't want to go.
[/list]I totally agree with you, Pumpkin, on your views of high school. Just one week until I'm out of this bs. :D

Don't get me wrong; if you're going to prom, I have nothing against it and encourage you to have a lot of fun, heh. It just isn't my thing.
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personally, I think prom is a huge waste of money. Mine was a week or so ago, and it was quite the place to be...if you were looking for suicide inspiration. It was incredibly over priced just to get the ticket, not even including all the little extravagancies that go along with it. Personally, if they'd let you in in a t-shirt and jeans, thats what I'd do, but you have to have a "suit" and such. If you've never seen me in a suit, then you don't understand how truly uncomfortable I look lol.

I think girls, sorry for the generalization, go way overboard when it comes to prom. All the girls I know made such a big deal out of it, after everything was over, they were pretty disappointed. Either something went wrong, they went with the wrong guy, they "didn't look good." I've seen incredibly beautiful girls almost have a breakdown because a tenth of their make-up was a little smudged. Its incredibly theatrical if you ask me. I thought the "goth" comment by Kitty was a little out of line, but maybe she was just overreacting. I mean, when you think about it, it is a lot of work for really, not that much fun lol. And people are stupid enough to by into these things and waist money on people they'll probably never see again after high school.
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Personally I don't care for prom, but eveywhere I have lived prom night has meant lots of stupid teenagers causing nothing but trouble. Take last week for instance. I was on vacation with my family in West Yellowstone as we were visiting the park. Well they had their prom night while we were there. And although I am sure there are plenty of teenagers who don't cause trouble we had to put up with drunk drivers all evening *some even wrecked and were killed* Plus some of them got the bright idea to buy chocolate shakes and drive around and thow it onto cars in the parking lots of the hotels. Naturally they nailed my brother's truck and my dad's car. Then there were the groups driving around and using any and evey puddle to soak any tourist who was walking next to one. *forchantely I missed getting soaked* So although I'm sure it may be fun for some, it's always been a big pain in the neck for me.
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[font=trebuchet ms]Prom is a [b]huge[/b] deal here. All of the city high schools get together and have one huge bash afterwards, at a festival hall downtown. People arrive in crazy vehicles--limos are normal, but you can see firetrucks, ice cream trucks, tractors, golf carts... It's almost a contest to see who has the craziest ride. The walk down the 'red carpet' is televised, and people at home actually watch it. More people go downtown and sit in the bleachers that are set up, just to watch the vehicles arrive and people walk into the building.

It is definitely [i]not[/i] "just another school dance."

Of my friends Senior year, I only had two who were 'eligible' to go to Prom (and they ended up going with each other.) Most of my friends were a year older and had gone last year. While it would have been fun to go my junior year, with them, I didn't really want to go my senior year. So...I didn't. I hung out with a couple college-age friends, and had a great time.

I [i]do[/i] know what you mean about being hounded by people. 90% of the 18-year-old population of my city goes to Prom, and you can bet I got some serious interrogation. Don't let it get to you, but don't be mean. People tried to set me up with dates, offered to lend me dresses, all sorts of stuff. And really, it was nice of them, but it made me feel very uncomfortable. And if I'd wanted to go, I wouldn't have needed a date or a dress. I went to Homecoming senior year (the only school dance I attended) alone, wearing jeans and flannel, and I had a blast.

As I say in threads like these... Life is what you make it. Do what you want, do what you feel comfortable with. Have fun. :)[/font]
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[SIZE=1]I'm still in 8th grade,so I can't really talk about prom.But our 8th grade dance is coming up.I'm not going with a guy...since no one would ask me and live it down.So I'm just going with some of my friends and we might even [I]borrow[/I] a few of our best 7th graders and sneak them in.

And now relating to something some-one said about their friend being asked by and junior or something of that nature.But yeah,we had this guy from the Christine Anne Center come in and talk about dating violence and abuse and stuff,and he said something about the upperclassmen asking freshmen girls out [B]A LOT[/B].This he says is because of that old cliche type-deal where the guy should be older than the girl. (I for one don't believe that...unless its like 10 or 15 more years difference then...) So its not that uncommon.[/SIZE]
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