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Writing Firespark: An OB Fanfic [PG-VL]


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[center][u][b][size=1]Chapter I: Robin Hood[/size][/b][/u]
[b]"This, ladies and gentlemen, is the number one most wanted criminal in the known galaxy. Captain Phil "Blayze" Stark. He is wanted for several counts of larceny, grand theft auto, numerous counts of perjury, masquerading as a minister to try and escape custody, impersonating a police officer to try and escape custody, interfering with legal matters, and, his most recent and devious crime, robbing the inter-spacial "bullion" ship,"[/b] said Police Chief James matter-of-factly.

[b]"As you know, the inter-spacial bullion ship carries, monthly, over two hundred and fifty million credits, to the various banks across the galaxy. It is also the most heavily armoured and well-protected vehicles in the history of space travel. With hull plating over eleven inches thick, painted with silicon carbide, and carrying three high-powered plasma blasters, as well as an escort of two Marauder-class Government ships. Somehow, Captain Blayze managed to evade all these weapons, apparently without the bullion ship ever having to fire a shot, and penetrate the hull before making off with over half of the ship's supply of credits. What we want to find out, people, is how the hell he did this?."[/b]

[b]"His crew consists of just four people, five including Blayze himself. The first is a female soldier who used to fight for the Theocracy of Planets. Her codename is Ezekiel, but at this point we are unsure of her real name." [/b]A holographic image of a reasonably young girl appeared and hovered, rotating slowly, in the air[b], "She may look sweet and innocent, but believe me when I say she's nothing of the sort. She is a highly trained soldier, proficient with most types of Theocracy weaponry, and her file suggests she may have training in weapons that exist outside the Theocracy. She is well-versed in stealth techniques and special tactics. She used to be one of our own, so don't underestimate her."[/b]

[b]"Next up is the weapons expert, and, bizarrely, the ship's priest." A holographic image of a middle-aged, slightly knarled-looking man replaced Ezekiel's, battle-scarred but wearing the dog collar that was the universal symbol of a Christian Priest. "We don't know a lot about him, aside from the fact that he was most likely in one of our more elite squadrons, before being injured in an oil explosion. A piece of shrapnel was lodged in his right thigh, and as such the entire right leg had to be amputated. He is now only mobile in a wheelchair which we believe to be of his own design, complete with automated weapons. He is the ship's weapons expert, and he has knowledge of almost all different types of weapon that are known to the Theocracy. He's also pretty handy if you're trying to find someone to sell you those weapons. Goes by the name of Father White, but more commonly just White."[/b]

[b]"The third member of the crew is the pilot, apparently the luckiest man alive. He is able to get out of any tight squeeze involving his ship, with merely the flick of a few switches. He has amazingly heightened reactions, and is able to react to things almost before anyone else has registered that they have happened. He goes by the nickname "Joko," and there is only one person in the galaxy who knows his real name."[/b]

[b]"The final member of the crew, aside from Captain Blayze himself, is the ship's doctor. She goes by the name of Citrus McCarthy. She has only the very basics of medical knowledge, however, so some say she is not technically qualified to be called the ship's doctor, but her ability to improvise on important treatments is what makes her a great asset to them. She is only young, but she knows how to hold a weapon, so by no means take her lightly.""Now you know their faces, memorise them, learn them until they are the one and only thing you can see before you go to sleep and when you wake up. You are hereby ordered to hunt down and capture these felons at any cost, dead or alive. Dismissed."[/b]


[b]"Hey. Citrus, how's Joko lookin'?"[/b] shouted Blayze into the back of the ship, where Citrus was tending to the wounds Joko had received on their landing. He was a tall, handsome man, albeit with slightly squashed features. Currently he had his heavy brown cowboy boots
resting on the flight control panel.
"Joko's looking fine, and get your damn legs off my control panel,"[/b] commanded Joko, striding back into the cockpit, his bare torso strapped heavily with bandages. Blayze did as he was told. That was the problem with this crew, you had to take orders right back from them, as each one was irreplacable.

[b]"How're the credits coming along?"[/b] Blayze yelled, taking long strides into the cargo hold, where Ezekiel was finishing off the straps on a large crate made of light wood that looked as though it would snap easily. From what he could see, it was stuffed full of credits, glimmering slightly in the dim light of the cargo bay. Father White was sitting in his wheelchair on the metal gantry above, overseeing Ezekiel's work.
"We're almost done on this end,"[/b] said White, giving Blayze a thumbs-up and a broad grin. Blayze nodded and walked over to Ezekiel, who hadn't said a word since the heist.

[b]"Ezekiel,"[/b] he said, [b]"We are on the same page with this, aren't we? I'd hate to do something without you agreeing first."

"I just don't see why we have to give so much of it away. We'd be set for life if we just took it all and ran,"[/b] she replied, never making eye contact with Blayze.

[b]"That's not how we work, Ezekiel. We've never worked like that. It's always been a "steal from the rich, give to the poor", Robin Hood-type deal. You know that much. And anyway, we still got a quarter of what we stole. That's more than enough to set us on our way,"[/b] he said with a devlish grin.

Ezekiel hesitated for a moment, then responded with a braod grin of her own. She nodded, and yelled:

[b]"Let's sock it to those government bastards!"[/b]

She slammed her fist down onto the cargo bay door release button, and a hatch opened in the bottom of the ship, dropping the crate to the ground. Blayze and Ezekiel looked down through the hatch to the ground below, where the crate smashed on landing. Sparkling gold credits showered across the streets of the slums in Otaku City. Eventually some of the less well-off residents of Otaku City would find it and share the wealth.

[b]"Yes!"[/b] shouted Ezekiel triumphantly, slapping a high-five into Blayze's outstretched palm, [b]"We did it!"[/b]

[b]"We sure did,"[/b] replied Blayze.

Suddenly, something rocked the ship, and the sound of an explosion could be heard throughout the vessel, knocking Blayze and Ezekiel to the floor...


Ok, here's my attempt at a semi-serious piece of OB fan fiction, based on the TV series Firefly and the resulting movie Serenity. A short list of members involved so far (many cameos will appear during the course of the story, no doubt from all the Mods):

Blayze-Captain Phil "Blayze" Stark
Ezekiel-Ezekiel, Female Soldier
White-Father White, priest/weapons expert
Citrus-Citrus McCarthy, ship's doctor
Jokopoko-Joko, ship's pilot
James-Police Chief H. James

CC is encouraged. Chapter II will follow soon. Sorry, this has been a very talky chapter, just trying to get everything basically explained. I'll do better next time. And don't worry, the relevance of the title will become apparent soon enough.
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[SIZE=1]Woot! I get a big appearance in an OB story, whoopie! *happeh*

May I first say that I'm honoured you've put me in this story, Phil, especially with the prestigious and cool role I have. *bows*

Secondly may I say that it's high time we actually talked to each other on IM.

Now to the comments on the story:
I really like the concept, and though I haven't seen Firefly or Serenity, I can see the theme you're going for. I'm glad I'm not going to be the only one writing a serious OB based story around here.

I enjoyed the character interaction most in this; the only thing I'd like to see more of is character description physically. With yourself and White especially we got a pretty good idea of how they look, but for Joko, myself and Citrus there aren't any real hints. It's probably just my own personal opinion, but I like to see a little bit of a description of characters to give me a head start on forming their looks in my head.

Obviously picturing what I look like isn't a problem, heh.

I certainly look forward to the next bit of this, so I hope you put it up soon enough.[/SIZE]
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Great story you have here, and I like they way you're trying to make it sorta like Firefly. That is a great series, as is the movie, and you seem to know what you're doing in making it similar. This is a good starting point, so don't apologize for it. Dialogue is a good thing when it's used properly.

The imagery you use is excellent, and something I find a little lacking in science fiction literature. You put it to good use here, and I like it.

On to a different note, I seem to have one of those names people like. It's a bit distracting for me, but I can live with it.

I'm going to keep my eye on this one, it looks very interesting
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[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I dont know why but for some reason..I was oddly attached to this fanfic. It can be slightly because I personally love all things Sci-fi.. THATS why the Sci-fi channel is on my bookmark list... Still I though it was pretty amazing none the less with just the intros.

Well the first concept is funny enough. I was shocked that The captain was able to break through all of that stuff. It sounded like alot of the things that I read when I read the Halo books. [I]First Strike[/I] to be exact. Now you even have me wondering how in the world they were able to break into a ship without being noticed.

The robin hood type role is intresting as well. Most wouldnt think of putting that kind of a setting onto a fanfic. Espically one that has a setting in the future, I may just keep this one under wraps. I can't wait to see more of it. Now I should really visit Anthology more.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
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[center][b][u][size=1]Chapter II: Striker[/size][/u][/b]
Blayze stumbled into the cockpit, trying to keep steady with the ship's violent lurches. He grabbed on to one of the cockpit's many control panels and righted himself.

[b]"What just hit us?"[/b] he asked Joko, who was throwing his flight harness on, buckling it together over his chest. He grabbed the twin joysticks and jerked them aggressively to the left. The ship lurched, and he replied:

[b]"It was a large, solid object with a fair velocity behind it."[/b] He flicked the joysticks to the right, dodging and weaving away from some unseen enemy.

[b]"Ok,"[/b] said Blayze, feeling that this hadn't helped much, [b]"Like a meteorite? Or a missile?"[/b]

[b]"I'd say more like a missile,"[/b] replied Joko slamming on the airbrakes and then hurling the ship into reverse, [b]"And I'd guess that's what fired it."[/b]

Something came into sight on the viewscreen, a dark silhouette against the bright morning sky. It was another ship, much sleeker and powerful-looking than Blayze's own, a black, dart-shaped vessel with a tail much like that of a scorpion.

[b]"That's a government ship,"[/b] said Blayze staring at it, [b]"Striker class. The fastest, stealthiest ship available to the Theocracy. It looks like we've taken higher priority in the government's eyes."[/b]

At that moment, Citrus bounded into the cockpit, and saw Joko at the controls. A shocked look crossed her normally joyful face.

[b]"Joko!"[/b] she shouted, flicking her flame-red hair out of her face, [b]"I told you that you're not supposed to do anything stressful! Your stitches will break!"[/b]

[b]"This is how I relax,"[/b] he replied with a grimace as a jolt of pain went through his body. He pushed the joysticks hard forward, and sent the ship sailing over the enemy vessel.

[b]"Citrus,"[/b] said Blayze calmly, [b]"We need Joko to pilot us out of this mess. Then you can stitch him up all you like, ok?"[/b]

[b]"But he has to relax!"[/b] she said, her breaths becoming gasps.

[b]"Ok, breathe, Citrus,"[/b] said Blayze, sitting her down in the navigator's chair, just behind the pilot, [b]"Breathe. You need to keep calm."
[b]"I'm...trying..."[/b] she said between gasping breaths. Ezekiel strutted into the cockpit, keeping her balance as well as her usual swagger against all the movement of the ship.

[b]"What's the sitch?"[/b] she asked, placing herself down in the chair next to the pilot's, and placing her feet calmly upon the control panel.

[b]"Striker,"[/b] replied Joko, focusing his entire attention on piloting the ship, reducing his vocabulary to only single words.

[b]"Do we know who's?"[/b] she asked. Blayze stopped and turned to her.

[b]"How the hell are we supposed to know that?"[/b] he asked incredulously.

[b]"The ship has a built-in scanner,"[/b] she replied, and added, seeing Blayze's blank look, [b]"Every Theocracy ship has an identification chip in the engine. This is so that they can identify the ships if they crash. That also means every Theocracy ship, like this one we are currently piloting, has a built-in ID chip scanner. Just push that button behind you."[/b]

Blayze turned and saw a small orange button. He pushed it, and a screen above it whirred into life. It loaded for a few seconds, then produced a set of results.

Blayze stared at them for a moment, then got to his feet and said:

[b]"Ezekiel, you read them, I can't understand a word that thing is saying."[/b] Ezekiel rolled her eyes and swaggered over to the screen.

[b]"Ship number 198754, Striker class, armed with air to air missiles, yada yada yada,"[/b] she read, skipping through a bundle of important information, [b]"Pilot's name..."[/b]


[b]"I'm gonna get you, Blayze,"[/b] shouted the pilot of the Striker, even though no-one could hear him, [b]"No-one can escape the wrath of Special Agent Shinmaru!"
He flipped the Striker on it's end and hurtled towards his target. He pressed down on the trigger of the ship's secondary weapon. A flurry of bullets fired from the nose of the Marauder, scoring marks along the side of his target.

He threw his head back and laughed maniacally.


[b]"Shinmaru,"[/b] said Blayze thoughtfully, [b]"Where have I heard that name before?"
[b]"You beat him up to escape arrest once,"[/b] replied Citrus, now breathing with a paper bag over her face, [b]"He tried to hit you with his buzz-baton, and you pounded him to the ground. I'm guessing Shinmaru holds a grudge."[/b]

[b]"Oh,"[/b] said Blayze, [b]"Well, hopefully we won't have to finish him off today."[/b]

Something buzzed from the pilot's control panel.

[b]"What was that?"[/b] asked Blayze.

[b]"Someone's got a lock on us,"[/b] replied Joko, his eyes flicking from the computer screen to the viewscreen and back, [b]"But it's not Shinmaru. There must be another Striker somewhere."[/b]

[b]"Another one?!"[/b] cried Blayze, [b]"Seriously, what did I do to deserve this?"[/b]

Ezekiel hit the scanner button once more, and read off the results.

[b]"This one's piloted by someone called Asphyxia. You beat anyone called Asphyxia up, Blayze?"[/b]

[b]"Not that I can think of...oh no," [/b]he groaned.

[b]"What did you do to this one?"[/b] asked Citrus.

[b]"I may have stolen something of hers and not given it back,"[/b] he said, putting his head in his hands.

[b]"What? What did you steal?"[/b] asked Citrus.

Blayze hesitated and then answered.

[b]"I may have kinda stolen her...house."[/b]

[b]"Her house?!"[/b] cried Citrus, [b]"How did you steal her house?"[/b]

[b]"Long story, one for another time, I think,"[/b] said Joko, wrenching the joysticks to the side, throwing the ship sideways, [b]"Perfect."[/b]

[b]"What are you doing now? Why are you stopping?"[/b] shouted Blayze, lapsing into panic [b]"I don't want to be killed!"[/b]

[b]"Relax, captain,"[/b] said Joko, releasing the controls and flicking a switch, [b]"Everything's under control."[/b]

[b]"Why did you just turn the ignition off? Why are you shutting the ship down?"
The ship stopped, and the two Strikers hurtled towards it from different angles. The lights turned off on the ship, and, after a few seconds, it dropped out of the sky. The two Strikers were going too fast to stop, and they smashed into each other, each exploding in a fiery mushroom.

[b]"Looks like the pilots got out ok,"[/b] said Joko, looking out of the viewscreen to see the two black-clad figures, still in their seats, floating gracefully down to the ground on their parachutes. He flicked the engine back on, and accelerated out of there.


[b]"Sir, agents Shinmaru and Asphyxia have transmitted their positions. Both of them failed to capture Blayze and his crew,"[/b] said the young man in a suit.

[b]"Dammit!" [/b]shouted Chief James, slamming his fist down on the desk, [b]"How did Shinmaru screw up this time?"
[b]"Apparently it was neither of their faults, sir. They both underestimated the skill of Blayze's pilot."[/b]

[b]"Then they were clearly both to blame! Bring them in, then wipe them and send them on their way. They're no good to me any more,"[/b] shouted James, settling back into his leather seat. The young man nodded and left the room promptly.

[b]"You're beginning to test me, Blayze. You get one more chance before I bring you down with everything I have,"[/b] he snarled to no-one but himself...


Here is Chapter II, hope you enjoyed it. The new characters who have been seen in this Chapter were:

Agent Shinmaru - Shinmaru
Agent Asphyxia - Lady Asphyxia

Chapter III is on it's way
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[SIZE=1]Muaha, fear my cocky soldier-swagger.

I seriously love the way you've portrayed me in this, because in the situation and role, it's very close to how I would act. Actually, minus the badass swagger, it's how I act in school.

I like this chapter more than the last one, purely because it's got more action in it, and I luffs me some action. You've kept the writing consistently good, so far, so that's perfect and you've managed to get a pretty good balance between character interraction, dialouge and action scenes.

Once again, I look forward to Part III.[/SIZE]
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[size=1]Ok, I'm having a little trouble with Chapter III, so I would welcome your input as to the content. I have two options for you:

1. A flashback chapter, giving some history of the whole story. This includes the beginning of the Theocracy of Planets, the reason Blayze's crew is against them, and how Blayze's crew came to be together in the first place. This would be done in flashback form through Blayze's eyes.

2. A chapter continuing the story, where the crew go back to their homeworld to drop off the money and pick up supplies. This would include some more character detail and some glimpses into people's pasts.

So it is up to you. Which chapter would you like to see next? I will end up doing both chapters at some point, it is very much just a case of which one comes first.

I appreciate all your feedback, it is nice to know that my work is enjoyed.
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[SIZE=1]I'd have to go for option one, because I always enjoy flashbacks, seeing as it lets the audience/reader veiw a character's more personal opinion on events and people. But that's just a personal thing, really, either of the options would be good to read.

And I'm sorry for filling your thread with so many comments, but I really like this story.

(Not that I'm biased because I'm in it. Oh no. Not at all. *hackcoughsplutter*[/SIZE]
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[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I would have to agree and go with the flashback. It would make more sence to know exactly how some person like Captain Blayze was able to become some super giant criminal wanted by the...er goverment enough to send two not just one, but TWO Striker class ships to capture him! -passes out from tention-

It would be a rather intresting backstory though.. Maby he came from a poverty filled childhood and that is why he is doing the whole robin hood act? I don't know its your story. I want to see how it would turn out.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
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[center][u][b][size=1]Chapter III: A little Flashback... (Part I)[/size][/b][/u]
Blayze settled back into his chair, relaxing a little after their run-in with the law. They hadn't been clear of this kind of thing for a long time...

Not since...


[/size][center][size=1][b]In the early 32nd Century, the planet Earth, mother planet to the human race, had become overcrowded. The population from the 21st Century had almost tripled over 100 years, meaning that there were something in the region of 18 billion people living on Earth. Thus, living standards became much poorer than they had been. Extra cities were built on the ocean beds, as well as on the Moon's surface. But it still wasn't enough.[/b][/size]

[size=1][b]The Exodus began, and over four million Earth ships left their home planet, in search of a new homeworld. The search took over two hundred years, and by the time they had found our new galaxy, the original crew members were long dead, replaced by later generations of their own families. But the long search was over. A new galaxy was found, with over fourteen different inhabitable planets, as well as many terraformed moons, where the human race planted their feet and began to build civilisations.[/b][/size]

[size=1][b]But anarchy soon gained control over most of the planets, so it was decided that, instead of a single government for each planet, one government would rule all the planets. Thus, the Theocracy of Planets was formed, with fourteen members, one from each of the inhabitable planets in the new Solar System making up the council of leaders.[/b][/size]

[size=1][b]But there were some moons on the edges of the galaxy that did not agree with the Theocracy, and refused to join. They broke off and became a force known as the Separatists, who began to wage war on the Theocracy. The war which broke out was bloody, but the Separatists were driven back. The Theocracy ruled once more...fzzt[/b][/size]
The information film ended as Stark thumped the screen, bored of watching his government's history. He turned away from it, back to his luxurious quarters aboard the Grandice. He smled and breathed in a lungful of fresh, recycled air. A knock at his door disturbed him, and he strode irritably over to the hatchway. Pressing a button, the door whizzed up, to reveal a young female soldier, dressed in the standard black leather jumpsuit of the Theocracy Guard. Three small red pips on her shoulder recognised her as a lieutenant.

[b]"Sir,"[/b] she said, snapping a salute, [b]"We have encountered hostiles. Your presence is requested on the bridge immediately."
[b]"Very good, soldier,"[/b] replied Stark lazily, and he responded to her salute in kind. He grabbed his captain's tunic and threw it on, buttoning it up as he walked towards the bridge. He knew the way around the Grandice by heart. After all, it was his ship.

He strode onto the bridge, his presence commanding and powerful. He looked to the viewscreen, where three enemy vessels were heading towards the ship. He grinned. These Separatist ships were no match for the pride of the Theocracy's fleet.

[b]"Was I really needed here, soldiers?"[/b] he asked, [b]"You know what to do. Fire upon them immediately."[/b]

[b]"But sir, they have broadcast a message, directed straight to you,"[/b] said a slightly older man, the ship's weapons expert, or something.

[b]"Play the message."[/b] The man tapped a few commands into the control panel, and a holographic recording played in mid-air.

"We request this message is passed on directly to Captain Philip Stark," said one of the men on the recording, a grizzled-looking man with long, greasy dreadlocks, [b]"We are part of the Separatists. We are currently on cease-fire. However, if you destroy the three ships that are heading towards you currently, a hundred more like them will rise from the planet and destroy your ship. If you manage to destroy all of them, a thousand more will rise, then a hundred thousand. We have almost unlimited resources, Captain. End recording."[/b] The recording fizzled out of sight.

[b]"What do we do, Captain?"[/b] asked the lieutenant who had collected him from his quarters, smoothing her short blonde hair nervously.

[b]"We do what we should always do when we encounter hostiles. We fire upon them,"[/b] replied the Captain, [b]"Fire upon the three ships, destroy them, then send four Inferno detonators down to the planet's surface. We'll fry those bastards alive."
[b]"But sir," [/b]replied another member of the crew, Stark couldn't remember his name, Shin-something, [b]"There are Theocracy bases down on that planet, as well as civilians loyal to the Theocracy. If we send four Infernos down there, every bit of life on the planet will be wiped out!"[/b]

[b]"That's a risk I'm willing to take, and I would hope you will not disobey your Captain, Private,"[/b] replied Stark. The private nodded humbly.

[b]"Fire upon the ships,"[/b] said Stark, and he watched as three missiles blasted the Separatist vessels apart, [b]"Now drop the detonators."[/b]

The blonde lieutenant nodded and pressed a red button. Four large red capsules ejected from the bottom of the ship, and hurtled down to the planet's surface. The crew watched as the entire surface of the planet was scorched, blasting away all signs of life, both Separatist and Theocracy...


[b]"Captain Philip Stark, you are hereby discharged for war crimes. Your mind will be wiped, along with the minds of Lieutenant Jamie Keller and Weapons Expert Joseph White. You will then be wiped from any Theocracy records. Do you understand your crime and your punishment?"[/b] asked a booming voice that came from somewhere within the darkened room.

[b]"I do, sir,"[/b] replied the hadcuffed and disgraced Philip Stark, now nicknamed "Blayze" withing the ranks of the Theocracy Guard, for the fiery method of execution he brought upon a mostly-innocent planet.


Mind-wiping is simple enough. It basically uses a computer to delete certain clusters of memories directly from the brain. In Blayze's case, every mention of Theocracy work, every mention of any of the inner workings of Theocracy ships was erased. However, with as much knowledge as his, there was always a possibility of some snippets of information resurfacing in time.

Jamie was erased of pretty much the same stuff, but what the Theocracy didn't realise was that she had hidden tapes of herself reciting Theocracy knowledge in a Time Capsule, to be found once she had undergone the mind-wipe. The location of this Time Capsule was overlooked as harmless knowledge, and thus it wasn't wiped.

White was a different story altogether. He was a close friend of the Wipers, and he paid a generous sum of money, as well as offering many favours over the years, just to make sure that if he was one day sentenced to a wipe, they would miss several vital portion of information. Therefore, White kept most of his knowledge about Theocracy weapons, as well as the location of much of the missing information, safe within his mind.


[b]"Get the hell out of here,"[/b] said the government agent as he hurled the last of the trio out of the car. Blayze slammed into the floor next to White, and then jumped to his feet, shouting curses and various other obscenities at the drivers of the car.

[b]"Jesus, Blayze, you gotta calm down,"[/b] said Jamie, [b]"It's not the end of the world. We can easily get to Otaku City from here, and we can get jobs or something there, and it'll be easy to move on."[/b]

[b]"You think it's gonna be that easy for us to get jobs?! Look at us! We look a mess! And how the hell are we supposed to get five miles across an open desert wasteland within the next three days before we starve?!"[/b] shouted Blayze, slightly hysterical.

[b]"Maybe this guy can help us,"[/b] said White, sticking a thumb out towards a dusty red convertible that was driving towards them. The driver slowed down, and pulled to a stop just next to the trio.

[b]"What can I do for you, strangers?"[/b] he asked, his dark hair blowing in the wind.

[b]"Can you give us a lift to Otaku City?"[/b] asked White.

[b]"Sure thing. Just headed that way myself," [/b]he said, [b]"Hop in." [/b] The trio jumped into the car hurriedly.

[b]"Friendly warning,"[/b] siad the driver, [b]"You might wanna put your seatbelts on. I'm told I'm a mean driver."
[b]"I don't need a seatbelt..." [/b]said Blayze, before being slammed back into his seat by the sudden acceleration. He fumbled to strap his seatbelt around him quickly.

[b]"The name's Joko,"[/b] said the driver, [b]"I'm a commercial airline pilot. But job's looking a little weak around this area. We're right on the edge of the Theocracy, and no-one wants to come out here after the war."[/b]

[i]The name's Joko...[/i]

[b]To be continued...[/b]


Ok, no new guest appearances this chapter, but a nice little bit of history for you. As always, constructive criticism is welcomed.
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Congrats on such a great story so far. I?m really into this. I like the way you have set up the whole chain of events and the flash back helped to create a little more depth between the relationships of the characters and their motivations.
The Robin Hood thing was good and unusual for this kind of thing. I have no trouble imagining this as a TV show. The mind wipe was particularly clever.
I love sci-fi stuff I can?t wait to read more of it :)
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[color=#333333]Wow, Blayze. This is quite the story you have going.

Simply amazing, I would say. I'm proud to even be mentioned in it. It's kind of ironic that you made White a christian priest, where my dad in real life is a christian priest (pastor, more like it). And also, you made White an old man where I just turned 15 in November, 2005.

Anyways, you really have something going here. The only constructive criticism I can give is that you tend to repeat things every once in a while.

"What did you do to this one?" [B]asked[/B] Citrus.

"I may have stolen something of hers and not given it back," he said, putting his head in his hands.

"What? What did you steal?" [B]asked[/B] Citrus.[/quote]

Other then that, the story is exciting and keeps you on edge. I look forward to Chapter IV. :)[/COLOR]
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[center][u][b][size=1]Chapter IV: A little Flashback...(part II)[/size][/b][/u]
[b]"Well, I don't know about anyone else,"[/b] said Jamie, [b]"But I'm getting a ship, and then I'm getting back at the Theocracy any way I can. I'm not standing for this. Anything I can do, no matter how small, I'm going to do it."[/b]

The three of them had been dropped off by Joko at a small Chinese restaurant on the edges of Otaku City. It was owned by some guy named Shinji, who was apparently rarely seen, but often heard. Their waitress for the evening was a young, spirited girl by the name of Citrus.

[b]"Can I get you anything else?"[/b] she asked politely, with a grin that stretched across her entire face.

[b]"No thanks, Citrus, that'll be all for now,"[/b] replied Blayze, and then, when she had walked away, he turned to the other two, and said: [b]"How do you propose we get a ship? This meal alone pretty much wiped us out! We have a few hundred credits between us, we don't have a job to get more credits, and even the most beat-up ships cost more than two hundred and...eighty-seven credits!"
[b]"Not neccessarily," [/b]said White thoughtfully, [b]"I think we need to take a trip into the city."[/b]


[b]"There's our ship," [/b]exclaimed White proudly, gesturing towards a rusty pile of metal that now made up a large part of the scrapyard.

[b]"I'm sorry,"[/b] said Blayze, turning away, [b]"But I thought we were looking for a ship, not a pile of rust."[/b]

[b]"That is a ship." [/b] Jamie ran over to it, and hauled a pile of debris from the hull. It was a bulky old vessel, but it looked to be in reasonable shape, aside from all the rust.

[b]"It's amazing what people throw away these days,"[/b] joked White, [b]"A perfectly good Lugger-class transport vessel, just thrown out. We can manage to buy this for a hundred credits, max, and then we can use the rest of the money to fix her up."[/b]

[b]"Oh. I was looking forward to eating food tonight, but I guess that's not gonna happen." [/b] Blayze grudgingly handed the credits over to White, saying:

[b]"You may as well keep hold of these. You have control over them, anyway."

Soon, they had managed to haul the ship out of the junkyard, and now Jamie was looking her over. It was reasonably spacious inside, with six different living quarters, a kitchen and living/dining space, and a powerful fusion engine.

[b]"Now all we need is somewhere to put it while we work on it. Does anybody we know have a house that's in a reasonably excluded area, and has family that won't care what we do in their backyard?"[/b] asked the female soldier. Blayze and White looked at each other, the same though coming over both of them at the same time...


[b]"Thanks a lot for this, Citrus," [/b]said Blayze as he ghost-piloted the ship into Citrus' backyard. The girl's ship was towing the Lugger, but the old ship still needed someone to pilot it. This was ghost-piloting.

Citrus' house was a large, luxurious log cabin in the woods outside Otaku City. Her parents had bought it for her before they had died, but still insisted that she go to work in the City, so she knew the value of work. She lived all alone here, and so she was glad of the company. She invited the whole crew to stay for a while, and they could work in the backyard as long as they wanted.


Darkness had fallen over Citrus' house, and over the whole of Otaku City. The crew had all gone inside, except Jamie, who still worked on the ship all through the night. She more than any of them wanted to see the ship up and running so they could use it against the Theocracy.

Blayze stepped out onto the balcony, staring up into the night sky. The stars were beautiful, and the twin moons of this planet were bright in the sky. The captain took a deep breath of cold air, and exhaled a cloud of water vapour.

[b]"Penny for 'em,"[/b] said White, stepping out onto the balcony. Blayze smiled, but didn't respond.

[b]"Are you a religious man, captain?"[/b] asked White, walking towards the captain, wrapping his long coat around himself.

[b]"I've never had time for God, he's never had time for me, White. That's my deal."
[b]"I don't think I could ever lose my faith. I was brought up to be Christian, and nothing else. I've been searching for God ever since my father died."
[b]"And you thought the place to do that was as a Weapons Expert on a Theocracy ship? Now, forgive me, but that doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense."

"I was forced to sign up. Everyone of my age was at that time. The Theocracy was expecting war against the Separatists to break out again, and they needed enough time to train men before the war started. When they found out that it wasn't going to happen, I couldn't bring myself to leave. It was the only career I'd ever known."

"How many people did you kill in the name of the Theocracy, Joseph?"

"Many. But I have prayed for forgiveness, and I believe that when the time comes, I will be absolved."

"That's the difference between you and me, Joe. You have the strength to believe things like that. I've seen too much of the real universe to be able to do that. I've seen terrible things, and apparently I've done terrible things as well."

"We all do...what's that sound?" [/b]asked White, hearing something.


[b]"It sounded like an explosion,"[/b] whispered Blayze, taking his pistol from it's holster, gesturing for White to do the same.

[b]"Jamie!"[/b] the captain shouted, [b]"Grab a weapon! There's something going on!"[/b] The soldier nodded, and picked up a rifle that she had taken to carrying round with her for emergencies.


[b]"Gunshots! These people are armed!"[/b] hissed White, grabbing a pair of revolvers from the table in Citrus' living room.

[b]"Wake her up," [/b]said Blayze, nodding to Citrus, who had fallen asleep on the couch. White nudged her gently. Her eyes fluttered open.

[b]"Hey, Citrus, don't panic, but we need to take you into the ship. It's just a little safer there, that's all. Come on now."[/b] White guided the girl into the ship, which had reinforced metal plating, much more bulletproof than the log cabin.

[b]"Here they come,"[/b] said Blazye, seeing the armed group coming towards them. They were all dressed in black cloaks with hoods pulled up over their heads, presumably to cover their identities.

[b]"They're a racist group,"[/b] said Citrus, [b]"They've probably come for me just because I work in that Chinese restaurant. I may look Asian, but I was born right here in Otaku City!"[/b]

[b]"You don't need to tell us,"[/b] said Jamie comfortingly, [b]"We wouldn't even care if you were an illegal, you're our friend, and we help our friends."[/b]

The group was closer now, firing shots into the air. As soon as they saw the group protecting Citrus, they began to fire at them, with surprising precision. Bullets ricocheted off the hull of the ship, threatening to tear it apart.

[b]"Ok, that's it!"[/b] shouted Jamie, getting to her feet and loading her rifle with seven shots. She went out onto the walkway that protruded from the side of the ship, and aimed at the attackers.

[b]"No-one touches my baby and gets away with it!"[/b] she whispered, squeezing the trigger, and letting off two shots, both of which hit their marks, kiling two of the group. Another three shots took out two more.

[b]"Screw this,"[/b] said Blayze, and he stepped out onto the walkway, took aim and fired, blowing one of them off his feet.

The few of them that were left quickly ran into the house. Smashing sounds came from within the house, and suddenly, bright flames erupted all around the house. They were burning it down!

[b]"They can't do this!" [/b]shouted White, flicking the safety off both of his revolvers and leaping from the ship, rolling as he hit the ground. He ran into the burning building, and shots could be heard.

[b]"What's he doing?"[/b] yelled Citrus, leaping to her feet, [b]"There's an oil tank in there! It could explode any second!"[/b]

As if on cue, the whole house was torn apart by a massive explosion, as the flames ignited every drop of oil in the tank. There was no chance White could have gotten out.

Or was there...?

A figure stumbled out of the house, falling down the stairs. It was White, charred and burnt almost to a crisp, but alive. The crew, including Citrus, ran down to him. He was badly injured, and now unconscious.

[b]"Does anyone know anything about medicine?"[/b] asked Blayze, [b]"Is he going to make it?"
[b]"He could make it,"[/b] said Citrus weakly, [b]"But he's going to lose both his legs, and there's going to be significant scarring."
[b]"Get him to the hospital straight away,"[/b] said Blayze, standing up, [b]"I'm going to find out who these bastards are."
As Citrus drove White to the nearest hospital, Blayze and Jamie walked over to the nearest of the dead men. Blayze kicked the body over, and ripped the cloak off.
"Oh my God..."[/b]

A Theocracy insignia, that of fourteen planets interlinked, was emblazoned across his tunic. They checked the others. All Theocracy agents, disguised as racist rioters to hide from the local law enforcement.

[b]"It wasn't Citrus they were after," [/b]Blayze hissed, his eyes burning with rage, [b]"It was us. Finish the ship, Jamie, and then we're going after these bastards..."
Three weeks later...[/b][/size][size=1]

The ship stood ready, gleaming in the pale afternoon's sunlight. The engine worked, the controls were fine, the only thing that needed seeing to was the rust, and that had been cleared up completely. Citrus had agreed to join the crew while her house was being rebuilt, and White had returned from hospital.

That was the worst part, as he was pretty messed up. His face was a mess of scarring, as was his upper body, and his legs had been amputated to save from extra damage. He now wheeled himself around in an old wheelchair, and he said he had plans to convert a few things. He seemed to be taking it all rather well, considering.

[b]"Wait," [/b]said Jamie, [b]"We need two things. First, we need a name."[/b]

[b]"What about...Firespark?"[/b] suggested Blayze.

[b]"I like it."

"Me too."

"Then that's settled. The Firespark. Second, we need a pilot."
[b]"Oh, I've had a pilot on standby for weeks now,"[/b] said Blayze cockily, [b]"Come on out!"[/b] he shouted behind him.

Joko, the driver who had given them a lift all those weeks ago emerged from the forest, a grin covering his face.

[b]"Hey, guys. Blayze told me what you were planning to do, and I thought "what the hell?" Commercial piloting got boring anyway, and there wasn't much work. I could do with a change, and from the sound of it, you needed a pilot,"[/b] said Joko.

Within the hour, they were all on board the ship, having chosen their sleeping quarters, and Joko was at the helm, powering her up.

[b]"Everyone ready?"[/b] he asked over the intercom. A few buzzed replies came, and he turned to the viewscreen. He flicked a few switches, and the engine ignited. The ship rose into the air, and then, with a pulse of energy, blasted through the clouds into the stratosphere.


[b]"Captain, we're here,"[/b] said Joko, nudging Blayze from his dream-filled sleep. They had come a long way from there, and now they were finally at their destination.

The moon named Fyria.



Only one interesting cameo to make note of this time, and that is:

Shinji-Shinji, owner of Shinji's Chinese Restaurant

Hope this gives you a little insight into the world of Firespark. As always, constructive criticism is welcomed, and the next chapter should follow soon.[/size]
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[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Oooo. This certantly cleaned up some of those very strange thoughs occouring in my head about in the first one. Yet the only thing that continue's to puzzle me is how are you able to find an old pile of junk that is a ship in a junkyard. Yet still be able to make it fly? Was the power source or something like that still working or something? Thats all I really questioned.

PS: Don't look at me for proofreading things. I am already horrible enough at that >.>;[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
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[center][b][u][size=1]Chapter V: Home[/size][/u][/b]
The ship touched gently down onto the dusty earth, throwing clouds of sand into the air. The landing legs extended, and prodded into the ground, allowing the ship to stand freely. There was a slow grinding sound as the gears lowered the ramp at the rear of the ship, and it thudded softly onto the floor.

Blayze's boots clanged as he walked down the ramp, carrying his own crate full of money. Ezekiel followed, then Citrus, and Joko helped White down in his chair. A small gathering of people had emerged from the town, offering to help the crew, who politely turned the offer of help down.

Three kids ran over to Joko and jumped on him, grabbing onto any part of his body that they could cling onto. They were all screaming and crying, and asking for things, like food and toys.

[b]"Alright, kids, get off daddy now,"[/b] said Joko, shaking the kids off and placing them on the ground. He straightened them out and looked them up and down.

[b]"My, my, you've really grown a lot, haven't you, kids?"[/b] he said with a smile.
"They would have done, the amount of time you've been gone,"[/b] came another voice from within the crowd. The people separated, allowing a short but beautiful woman to pass through, her glossy red hair flowing down her back.

[b]"Vicky, don't get mad at me. Look at what I've brought back for you!" [/b]he replied, showing her the crate full of glimmering golden credits. She looked at the crate, then back to Joko, then to the crate again. A broad smile slowly appeared on her face, and she threw her arms around Joko.
"You know, Vicky, sometime I wonder whether you only love me for my money,"[/b] he said with a grin.

[b]"So do I, Joko,"[/b] she said, her voice slightly muffled by her husband's shoulder.

White slowly wheeled himself over to the town chapel, a small, run-down affair, white paint peeling off the walls, a tarnished wooden cross hung over the door, the varnish almost completely stripped from it.

Citrus ran to her apartment, one of a block of flats that Blayze also occupied, as well as Ezekiel. Joko and Vicky had a small house just outside the town, where they lived with their three kids.

Blayze headed back to his apartment, but only to drop his money off. He levered the crate open and took a handful of credits from it, shoving them into his pocket.

He needed a drink.

He headed to the bar, which was incidentally just opposite his apartment, and walked through the swing doors into his favourite drinking establishment. He took his usual seat at the bar, and ordered his usual glass of heavy scotch. The bartender poured it, and made a little small talk.
"Business good, sir?" [/b]he asked, his accent thickly Irish.

[b]"It's been better. But then, it's also been a lot worse. How's things with you, Gavin?"[/b] replied the captain.

[b]"Oh, can't complain, sir. We've had a few rough customers, but me an' Corey've handled them pretty well."[/b]

[b]"How is Corey now?"

"Ask him yourself. He's just in the back. Corey!"[/b] he shouted into the back room. A toothless man with a short crop of black hair poked his head from the back.

[b]"How you doin', Corey?"[/b] asked Blayze.

[b]"Can't complain, captain,"[/b] he lisped in reply, [b]"Few rough customers, but you know how it is."
[b]"Gavin was just telling me. What kind of rough customers? Any Theocracy?"

"Not that I could tell. But, come to think of it, some bloke asked for you t'other day. Said he'd be in town for a few days. Stayin' at the Hotel Tical across the street."

"Maybe I'll check it out."

"No need. He's just comin' in now."[/b] The Irish bartender nodded to the door, where a tall, thin man with pale skin and a thick mop of black hair wandered into the bar, something gleaming on his knuckle.

[b]"Captain Blayze?"[/b] he asked, his voice a little gruff. Blayze nodded, and stood up.
"Who's asking?"[/b] he replied, his hand twitching towards his revolver.

[b]"The name's Retribution. And that's what I aim to deal out. For the right price, of course,"[/b] snarled the man. He raised his fist, to show that it was a set of brass knuckles on his hand.

[b]"I guess this isn't going to end well,"[/b] sighed Blayze, his hand moving quickly towards his revolver. Retribution was quick, though, and slammed his fist into Blayze's stomach before the captain could draw his weapon. The gun fell from its holster, and skittered across the floor.

[b]"Dang it,"[/b] gasped the captain, spitting out a mouthful of blood onto the floor. Retribution punched again, slamming his fist into Blayze's chest. He felt a couple of ribs break. Damn, this guy was strong.

[b]"You wouldn't think the Theocracy would hire a merc to bring in the most wanted man in the universe, now, would you? But I guess Chief James will do anything to bring you in, Blayze,"[/b] whispered Retribution, leaning down to talk privately to Blayze, [b]"But I don't plan to bring you in in one piece. You're gonna suffer before I end you, just because that's the kind of person I am."[/b]
"That's the kind of person you are..."[/b] gasped Blayze, [b]"This is the kind of person I am..." [/b] He drew his bowie knife and slammed it into the bounty hunter's foot, pinning his foot to the floor. The merc screamed, and tried to pull the knife out. Big mistake. Blayze's knife was jagged down one edge, so pulling it out of a wound could just make it worse.

As Retribution discovered. He cried out in even more pain as he tried to drag his foot off the knife. Blayze walked calmly over, limping slightly, but trying not to seem weak, and picked up his revolver.

[b]"You tell...James...that this is what you get if you send some two-bit bounty hunter after...Captain Blayze...you don't get away with this..."[/b] the captain gasped, firing a shot into both of Retribution's kneecaps. The merc fell to the floor, moaning softly in pain, bleeding profusely.

[b]"I'm sending you straight back to James. If you get that far."[/b]

The captain walked out of the bar, handing Gavin a few credits to sort Retribution out, to send him back to James.

Soon enough, the rest of the crew were gathered just outside the Firespark.
"We have to find James and sort this thing out, now,"[/b] said Blayze, taking command, [b]"I'm not going to let him spoil the one place I can call home by sending bounty hunters after me. That's not how we work. So, you got one night here, and first thing tomorrow morning, we're setting off to James. Is everyone agreed?"[/b] Nods came from the rest of the crew, [b]"That's settled, then. James is getting something from us. I'll see you all in the morning."
The crew split up, Blayze, Citrus and Ezekiel going back to their apartments, White heading back to the chapel, and Joko returning to his house.

The morning would bring interesting new challenges...

The Grandice[/i]

[b]"Sir, we've had a package arrive addressed to you, sent first class,"[/b] said the officer, snapping a salute to James as he entered his quarters.

[b]"Bring it in,"[/b] replied the Chief. Two members of the crew brought in a large package, with a note attached.

James ripped the note from the parcel, and read it, his face darkening as he continued to read. He then slammed the note into the chest of the officer, indicating that he was to read it.

[b]"Dear Chief James,"[/b] the officer read, [b]"You know who I am. I'm coming for you. Any more of these sent my way and they will be returned to you in much smaller packages. Love, your friend. So what's inside?"[/b]

[b]"I have a feeling I know,"[/b] said James, ripping the front of the package open. Retribtion fell out, his knees bleeding profusely, a rather large and nasty knife-wound going right through his foot.

[b]"Blayze...said...he's coming..."[/b] the bounty hunter gasped before losing consciousness. James snarled at him, stood up, and looked towards the door.


Retribution was dead, and a smoking gun lay in James' hand. The officer facing James looked slightly startled.
"We couldn't leave any loose ends,"[/b] the Chief said coldly, [b]"Prepare a welcome party for Captain Blayze. They will be here first thing tomorrow. Make sure we are ready for them."

A few interesting cameos this time to make up for the lack thereof the last couple of chapters.

vicky-Vicky, wife of Joko
Gavin-Gavin, bartender
Corey-Corey, bar hand
Retribution-Retribution, bounty hunter

Also an honourable mention:

Nomad Tical-owner of Hotel Tical

And in answer to your question, Ikillion, in the previous chapter, the ship was found with a working fusion reactor. It had only been dumped there because of some cosmetic flaws, and was pretty easy to get going again.

Thank you to all of you for your continued support, hope I can continue to keep you enthralled for a long while to come.[/size]
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[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

I've never seen Firefly Phil, but if it's half as good as this conversion then I'll have to try and catch an episode when I'm down under in the coming fortnight. Not to sound biased, but I quite enjoyed this new chapter, I could just picture my bar being taken straight out of Star Wars Episode IV, complete with it's kindly over-looked violence for the right price. Hopefully Corey and I should have a few more Star Buccaneers across the galaxy by the time Captain Blayze is finished. [/SIZE]
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[size=1][color=#B2566b]I've only just begun to read this and I'm hooked. I've got to say that this is an amazingly great FanFic. Well, I suppose it's the least I can say, since I don't know how to sum up the integrity of this FanFic. You're a strong writer, the way you place comic innuendos and metaphors into the writing, as well as your imagery.

I can't wait for the next chapter, considering I've never seen Firefly or Serenity and it makes me want to watch it ^_^.[/size][/color]
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[center][b][u][size=1]Chapter VI: Grandice (part I)[/size][/u][/b]
The Firespark headed slowly towards the massive Theocracy flagship known as the [i]Grandice[/i]. Blayze looked through the viewscreen and saw the great battleship that he used to captain, but was now commanded by Chief H. James. A surge of jealousy rushed through him at that point, but subsided quickly, replaced by the deep-seated anger he felt at having his home attacked.
"We're bringing her in now, Captain,"[/b] said Joko nervously, as though he was unsure of the Captain's reaction, [b]"The [i]Grandice[/i]'s gravity field has extended to allow us to enter the ship. We'll be inside in a moment."[/b]

The gravity field acted as a tractor beam, to pull ships into the [i]Grandice[/i], if the occupants needed questioning. Blayze knew the ship inside out, and he would need to if he was going to be able to pull this off.

[b]"Take her in, Joko,"[/b] replied the captain, his face blank of emotion. Joko nodded and steered the ship into the docking bay, which alone was five times the height of the Firespark. Blayze was the first out of the cabin and down the ramp, stepping onto the ground of the [i]Grandice[/i].

A party of Theocracy Guard greeted him, complete with automatic weapons and full body armour.

[b]"Please remove any weapons you have concealed about your person. If you do not comply you will be shot on sight," [/b]shouted one of the guards. Blayze smiled and took his pistol from its holster, and let it drop to the floor. The rest of the crew now stood behind him, and Joko pulled the knife from his boot and let it clatter to the floor. White had to be moved into a new wheelchair, as his own was bristling with weapons. Citrus had three small handguns about her person, which she removed.

Ezekiel dropped the large automatic weapon she was carrying, as well as the two pistols in her hip holsters.
"And the rest, Ezekiel,"[/b] sighed Blayze. The soldier scowled and took two more pistols from inside her shirt. And a knife from her boot. And two long, metal spikes from either sleeve. And four shurikens from a waist pouch.

[b]"Is that it?"[/b] asked Joko, looking up and down, a shocked look on his face. Ezekiel gave him a withering glance, and Joko turned away.
"You will accompany us to see Police Chief James, after which you will be placed in the brig. You will be cuffed,"[/b] said the captain of the Guard, signalling for his men to place handcuffs on the criminals.


The captain of the Guard knocked on James' door, the crew following him as well as the rest of the Guard. A muffled reply came from inside, and the door whooshed open. James stood in the centre of the room, his hands linked at the small of his back. He turned to face the captives, a smile on his pointed, clean-shaven face.
"Captain Stark,"[/b] he said, [b]"What a pleasure to meet you. You are something of a legend around these parts, as you well know. And this must be your crew."[/b]
"Yeah, that's us alright."[/b]
"Now, one thing still puzzles me,"[/b] said James, waving away the Guard and closing the door, [b]"You are the most wanted man in the universe, and yet you come strolling onto my ship like you own the place? Doesn't that seem a little odd?"[/b]

[b]"Well, you forget, James, that I did used to own this ship. I know it better than you ever could, and I know exactly what to do while I'm here,"[/b] replied Blayze with a grin.

The smile was wiped from James' face, allowing a scowl to take it's place.

[b]"Whatever you're planning, Blayze, it's not going to work. I have every inch of this ship covered with soldiers ready to wipe you out. Your little stunt with the Bullion ship wiped out a lot of paychecks aboard this ship, and people aren't too happy with it. You can try to get around, but it's not going to work, you hear me?"[/b] he hissed.

[b]"Whatever you say, Chief,"[/b] sighed Blayze, his hands raised in mock defensiveness.
"Take them away!"[/b] shouted the Chief. The guards came back into the room and escorted the prisoners away to the brig.

"I don't think we're gonna get out of this one, captain,"[/b] said Joko nervously as he paced up and down their cell, [b]"A lot of things have changed on this ship since you were captain. The waste disposal system is a lot more efficient, for one thing. This plan of yours is never going to work."[/b]
"Sure it will,"[/b] murmured Blayze, lying on the hard bed, [b]"Just have a little faith."[/b]

[b]"I'd love to have faith in your ideas, captain, but, let's face it, they barely ever work. Like that time we were trapped on the moon of Gamma Centauri? How well did that plan work?"[/b] asked Citrus.
"We got off the moon, didn't we?"[/b]
"But how much did it cost to rebuild the ship afterwards?"[/b]
"Ok, so there are upsides and downsides to everything. But trust me, this will work. Get ready, it's almost time."[/b]

The small clock that was present in the cell flicked over to show: 2100, and a scuffling came from outside the room.
"Excellent. The changing of the guard,"[/b] whispered Blayze, [b]"It's just about time to start."[/b]

He ran up to the door and slammed his open palm against it.

[b]"Help me! He's choking!"[/b] the captain shouted, and looked at Joko, who sighed and lay down on the bed, grasping his throat, pretending to choke.

The door whoosed open, and a lightly-armoured guard ran in. Blayze allowed the door to close behind him, and Ezekiel took the honour of smashing a chair over the guard's head.

[b]"Ok, so now we have one guard's uniform between five of us. Brilliant,"[/b] said Ezekiel, somewhat sarcastically.
"I'm taking this one,"[/b] said Blayze, stripping the guard of his uniform,[b] "You wait until the other guards come along, and do the same. We rendezvous in the hangar in two hours."
Soon enough, Blayze had pulled the guard's uniform on, and left the cell, using the guard's passkey to open the door. Luckily the guard had a standard-issue plasteel visor on, so Blayze could just about hide his identity.

He crept around the long corridors of the ship until he found an elevator, which he entered. He pressed the button for the engine room and waited to reach his destination.

Three floors above the engine room, the doors pinged open, and two guards boarded the elevator, taking little notice of Blayze. Soon enough, the elevator reached the engine room, and Blayze got out of the confined space.
"Hey, what are you doing?" [/b]asked one of the guards, [b]"You don't have clearance to be down here!"

"Oh, I have my clearance right here,"[/b] said Blayze, drawing something from his belt. He ripped the tab off the smoke grenade and rolled it into the elevator, pressing the door close button. The confined space would fill up with smoke, and the two guards would be knocked unconscious for an hour or two.

Finally Blayze was in the engine room. He searched around for what he was looking for, passing a young technician, who gave him a slightly odd look. Then a sign caught his eye.

[b]Engine Power Core[/b]

Blayze smiled beneath his visor, and headed towards the core.

The power centre of the ship was vast, possibly the biggest open space on the ship. But it needed the extra oxygen to work, and to cool off. It was a powerful plasma fusion reactor, a much larger version of the one installed on the Firespark, the most powerful fusion engine in the universe.

Blayze knelt down and removed a drive plate, grabbing a handful of wires, and he began to go to work, removing his visor.

Suddenly, something cold and hard pressed itself against the back of his neck.



No more cameos this time, but I assure you, there will be a couple of good'uns next time around. As always, feedback is appreciated.[/size]
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[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Ah...The classic " pretend you are in pain and let a guard come in just before you beat him over with something and steal his clothes." routine. No matter how many times I see it I will always find it a little distirbing when someone steals someone else's clothes.

Oh and thanks for the clear up about the whole finding a ship in a trashcan thingy. I was wondering about that and if they did..why it didnt explode when they tried to test it out but other than that..I want more.. [/FONT] [/SIZE] [/COLOR]
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[center][b][u][size=1]Chapter VII: Grandice (part II)[/size][/u][/b]
[b]"Freeze,"[/b] said the voice from behind Blayze. This person had a weapon pressed against the back of Blayze's neck, and they were probably dying to use it. He had to think of a way out of it, but he decided the best course of action would be to do exactly as the soldier told him.

[b]"Get up off the ground,"[/b] spat the soldier, and Blayze got to his feet.

[b]"Now turn around."[/b] Blayze followed this order as well, and came face-to-face with his attacker. A young, fit, dark-haired man greeted his eyes, which were as crystal-blue as Blayze's were.

[b]"You!"[/b] cried Blayze, before being struck sharply in the nose with the butt of the rifle...


Back in the brig, Joko and Ezekiel had managed to kit themselves out with guard uniforms, but Citrus was yet to.

[b]"You remember what we have to do?"[/b] asked Ezekiel.

[b]"Sure I do. It's simple enough, isn't it? Go to the guard's quarters, and take back our weapons. Then come back here to give White his wheelchair, and rendezvous with the captain in the hangar. See? I'm not as stupid as I look!"[/b] snapped Joko.

[b]"Someone's getting a little testy, aren't they?"[/b] whispered Citrus.

[b]"I just get a little stressed in this kind of situation, thank you very much,"[/b] said Joko quietly. He buzzed the door open, and he and Ezekiel stepped out, turning left and heading towards the guard's quarters.


The soldier slammed his rifle butt into Blayze's stomach, winding him and sending him to the ground. He dropped to one knee and spat out a mouthful of blood, just like he had done back in the bar.

[b]"So you remember me, then? It's surprising, after you left me adrift like that!"[/b] hissed the soldier, dropping to whisper in Blayze's ear.

[b]"I didn't mean to let your ship go like that,"[/b] gasped Blayze, [b]"I told you...the gravity field stopped working..."[/b]

[b]"Bullshit!"[/b] shouted the soldier, who proceeded to land a kick squarely in Blayze's chest. But he made one mistake, which was to leave his foot there too long. Blayze recovered quickly and grabbed the foot, twisting it until his attacker slammed to the floor.

He used this time to run over to the intercom, and press the speaker button.

[b]"Joko, Zeke, I need you in the engine room!"[/b] he said into the mouthpiece. His voice echoed all over the ship, alerting the entire crew to their presence. Then the attacker slammed Blayze's head into the wall.

[b]"You think this is all fun and games, don't you, Philip?"[/b] snarled the soldier,[b] "But you're very, very wrong!"[/b]

Blayze slammed an elbow into the soldier's sternum, knocking him to the floor. He ran over and picked up his attacker's gun, but the soldier was too fast, knocking it out of his hands. He grabbed a wrench from the ground as he ran and slammed it into Blayze's stomach. He dropped instantly.
"I finally get to kill you, Philip,"[/b] growled the soldier, lifting the wrench way above his head. Something crunched, and the soldier fell to the floor.

A man was standing there, in place of the soldier. The technician that had given Blayze a funny look earlier, with a heavy piece of metal in his hand.

[b]"He always was an asshole,"[/b] said the technician, helping Blayze to his feet.

[b]"Yeah, ever since I was born he's been nothing but an asshole to me,"[/b] gasped Blayze, leaning on the technician's shoulder.

[b]"You've known him that long?"

"I've known him all my life. His name is Raiyuu, right?"

"I was only ever allowed to call him Lieutenant, but I think that was his real name, yes."

"He's my brother."

"Your brother?! Then why was he trying to kill you?"

"I accidentally left him adrift in a shuttle pod once. Long time ago, he's never forgiven me for it since. I think the time alone in space has left him a little...loopy. But thanks for the help, kid, I really appreciate it. What's your name?"[/b] asked the captain.

[b]"My name's...Ikillion."

"Good strong name. You wanna see something impressive, Ikillion?"[/b] Blayze questioned with a smile.

[b]"Like what?"

"Do you want to see what happens when you drop a pulse grenade down into the main reactor core of a Theocracy flagship cruiser?"[/b]

A devilish smile crossed Ikillion's face.

[b]"Sure,"[/b] he replied, [b]"I want to see this place go down in flames. Does this mean I can come with you?"

"Well, the Firespark could always use a new mechanic. You think you can maintain a lugger-class shuttle on your own?"

"I'll give it a try, anyway."

"That's what I like to hear."[/b] Blayze turned back to the circuits just as Joko and Ezekiel ran into the room.

[b]"Did you need help, captain?"[/b] asked Joko.

[b]"I did, but this brave young man saved me. Ikillion, this is Joko, the pilot, and Ezekiel, the soldier. Ikillion is our new mechanic."[/b]

[b]"Hi,"[/b] said Joko, somewhat bemused.

[b]"You ready to see this baby blow?"[/b] asked Blayze, grinning like a madman.

[b]"I was born ready,"[/b] replied Ezekiel.

Blayze nodded, drew a pulse grenade from his belt, then decided to be safe, and drew the whole grenade belt, pulling the tab and dropping it down the reactor shaft.

[b]"I'd say we have ten minutes to get off this boat before we get blown to pieces. So follow me."[/b] Joko threw Blayze his pistol, and they set off at a run.

They followed the captain down a windy path of service shafts and back-alley passages, until they could see the hangar. But someone stepped in their way.

[b]"Blayze!"[/b] shouted James, [b]"You didn't think you could get away that easily, did you?"

"For a minute there, I think I did."[/b]

[b]"Well, your ship's priest is about to be gunned down by a party of soldiers, and I think they may "accidentally" lose your ship's medic to one of their bedrooms. You know how it is on a long space journey, captain. Men get desperate."

"Oh, I'm not unduly worried. White can take care of himself. Just take a look,"[/b] replied Blayze, gesturing behind James to the party of guards moving in on White, their weapons drawn. Some kind of exchange went on between them, and suddenly, White had gunnned the whole party of guards down with the weapons mounted on his wheelchair.

[b]"What?!"[/b] exclaimed James, and Blayze took this moment to slam the butt of his pistol into the small of James' neck, knocking him to the floor. He then got Ezekiel to put pressure on two different pressure points, the combination of which left James essentially paralysed for up to ten minutes.

The crew headed towards the ship, which Citrus was warming up, but Blayze stopped to talk to James for a moment.

[b]"Oh, James, you remember how I broke into the bullion ship? You were wondering how I did it? How I got on board without damaging the ship at all? I'll tell you how I did it: they let me on board. Enjoy the rest of your life, which looks to be, oh, about three minutes."[/b]

The captain walked away, a grim smile on his face, and boarded his ship, and took off.


[b]"Turn around,"[/b] said Blayze, looking at his watch. Joko turned the Firespark around, just in time to watch the chain reaction of explosions bloom all over the Grandice. Blayze smiled, but then a remembrance of how many people he had just killed washed over him. There were things he had to do for this cause that he would much rather avoid.
"Welcome to the crew, Ikillion,"[/b] he said emotionlessly, before walking to his quarters...


[b]"He destroyed an entire Theocracy flagship cruiser? With a single grenade belt? This Captain Blayze is better than I imagined,"[/b] said the voice of a shadowed figure.

[b]"And reports have confirmed that Chief James is dead, along with almost the entire crew of the Grandice,"[/b] said another.

[b]"We must not let this Captain get any further with his cause. It could destroy the Theocracy as we know it."[/b]

[b]"We must send our top agent."

"Yes. He will bring in this Captain Blayze..."[/b]



Raiyuu-Lieutenant Raiyuu

New Regular:


As you can see, James is gone, but the story is far from over. And Ikillion, do you see what happens when you comment on my stories as dilligently as you have? That's right, you get a part. See you all next time.[/size]
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[size=1][color=#B2566B]Bravo, bravo, Blayze. I'm astounded at this FanFic, it's really amazing, better than my FanFic XP. I can't wait for the next part, I mean I have so many questions running about like: Who's the Top Agent? Who are the shadowed people? What's the Firespark's next target? Who else could be involved in this devious scheme? Who, what, where, when, why, how? They're bombarding my every aspect of my mind! I need answers!!

By the way, your choice of words is great. I don't think I've ever been able to sit and read something for this long, considering I'm really picky. Keep up the work and I'll be waiting for your next chapter.[/size][/color]
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[font=Trebuchet MS]I did have a sneaky feeling I might pop up in this somewhere ... and I am a [i]nasty [/i]piece of work, I am.

All of the story so far has a really nice flow to it, and you've created the Firespark universe quite skilfully. The one thing I will say is that the whole Grandice sequence seemed a little too [i]easy. [/i]Surely that far in the future, no guard would fall for the "Guard! He's choking!" *Smack* routine, let alone four or five guards in a row? Where was this endless supply of idiot guards coming from, why didn't the later ones get wised up when their buddies kept going in and not coming out, and doesn't the Grandice, the biggest ship in the fleet, have security cameras in the brig?

(See, this is the [i]real [/i]reason he hates me)

There be nowt wrong with your style - it's funny and exciting, which is what it needs to be - but there are plot points that could do with being worked through better.
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