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Funny Anecdotes


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[FONT=Century Gothic] [COLOR=DarkOrange]Well, I know that one thing people like to talk about is funny life experiences that they've had. I've heard some good ones and have experienced some good ones as well. I was thinking and i figured i'd sure love to hear some from the members here at Otaku Boards. I also know that when i post something on OB i like it when i get some comments on what i said so i'd like to make 1 simple rule: comment on the person's anecdote before you.

So here's mine:

I remember one time i went to the acquarium with my family. We had a lot of fun. We got to a lower part of the acquarium and were looking at some sharks, it was a little dark in the walkway. I got seperated from the majority of my family, but it was no big deal, i could see them just a bit up ahead. After a little while i figured i should really catch up to them. So i was walking a bit faster and luckily my sister and mother stopped to look at some tiger sharks. I decided, since it was dark, to frighten them a little bit. I snuck up behind them and grabbed 'em and screamed! They freaked out, it was awesome....until they turned around and i realized i had made a HUGE mistake. It wasn't my sister and it certainly was not my mother that i had just scared. I was soooo embarassed and they were a little freaked out and disturbed. But looking back it was quite funny.

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haha... that made me laugh. stuff like that happens to me all the time.
one time i was at a youth group thing, and i saw my friend matt (whom everybody calls my "future husband" because though we don't like each other, we just seem like we're going to get married; it's funny). so he was talking to a group of our friends (all girls) and this new girl i had never seen before. so i went up to her and it was obvious that she and matt were good friends, so i said "hi, i'm marta!" and since she seemed to expect more, i said, "i'm matt's future wife!" and suddenly the big group of girls jumped back and gasped. i was surprised because they know that i'm his "future wife" and we talk about it all the time, so why was it a big deal? so then one of them said to me, "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT NOW!!!!" and when i asked why, she informed me that this girl was matt's girlfriend.
awkward, huh?
so i started laughing hysterically and i escorted myself into the other room, and when matt came in, i asked him why he didn't tell me they were going out... he said that he knew i was going to say what i did and he wanted to see my reaction. haha. funny, matt.
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  • 3 weeks later...
[size=1]*looks at post above* Omg.... I would have wanted to crawl under a rock. >>

Anyway, here's a couple of mine.

[b]Snake Moments[/b]

Let me explain first. I live in Australia, and the region I live in has some of the most venomous snakes on Earth. A brown snake is, I think, in the top three for most venomous. A tiger snake isn't that much below a brown either.

1. There was a brown snake out the back door. My dad had just come up from the farm with his shotgun to put it away in the safe when we told him there was a snake out the back. By then, it had moved into the small palm tree in a pot near the BBQ. My dad aimed and shot, making one of the laundry pipes shatter when the bullet hit it. The worst thing of all was that he nearly hit the gas cyclinder on the BBQ. And he didn't even hit the snake!!

2. I was swimming in a *is trying not to use Aussie slang but gah!* billabong with two of my friends. It was summer and we were down in the bush in this swimming hole. Next thing we know a brown snake swims past us vey leisurely and climbs out the other side. You can safely assume we were shocked.

3. Not too long ago (about 4 months) there was a nice big tiger snake sitting on the mat near our front door. My mother, my two sisters and I were in the house, waiting for Dad to come home with pizza when we noticed the thing. Needless to say my mother panicked. Our dog, Penny, had just come up from the shed and was about to come into the garage to lay on the mat where the snake was. She's almost completely deaf and fairly blind so she would have sat on the snake. My dad finally came came home and was going to come through the front door before he saw the snake. He got the shotgun out and was going to shoot it when it moved to behind the fridge. He managed to get it with another shot, but almost blew the fridge up as well.

[b]Other Interesting Moments[/b]

1. When I was about 5, my parents took us down to Sydney to see our Aunty. We went to Taronga Zoo and saw all the animals there. When we got to the Galapogas Tortoise enclosure, two of the giant reptiles were mating. My sisters (who were about 3 at the time) asked my parents what they were doing. Apparently I pipped up and told my sisters they were playing Leap Frog.

2. Remember the Monica Lewinski scandal? Well we were sitting at the dinner table watching the news when a news article of that nature appeared on the screen and the newsreader started to inform us of the incident. My mother had just gone into the laundry when one of my sisters turned to my dad and asked him what oral sex was. My father was stumped. So I jumped in and told her 'Oh, it's only when you talk about it'. Needless to say my mother was in hysterics in the laundry.

I think that will do for now. Some of my more embarassing moments I must admit.[/size]
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Don't worry Dare; You could have gotten a lot worse. For example:

I was on Holidays at Frasier Island with my sisters and Grandparents. Frasier Island is a Sand Island off the coast of Queensland with lots of Snakes, Dingos and the like. So my older sister and I were going for a walk inland in the bush and all of a sudden we saw a Red Bellied Black Snake, The third deadliest snake in the world (Tiger Snake is 5th and Brown Snake is second). We both freaked and ran. After we made it back to the beach we looked behind us and realised that we had jumped over a couple of Brown Snakes on the run back. We freaked even more so.
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[quote name='PWNED']So my older sister and I were going for a walk inland in the bush and all of a sudden we saw a Red Bellied Black Snake, The third deadliest snake in the world (Tiger Snake is 5th and Brown Snake is second). We both freaked and ran. After we made it back to the beach we looked behind us and realised that we had jumped over a couple of Brown Snakes on the run back. We freaked even more so.[/quote]


[size=1]*points to smiley above* Where was my dad and the shotgun when you needed him?

And might I add.... you're crazy!!

:D [/size]
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I can't think of anything in particular right now, but I've got 2 moments where my bro made me cry laughing. One is sorta a story.

1. In 2002 at the beginning of July the Powerpuff Girl movie comes on. It said the movie would come out July 3rd. Now, my family has always referred to the holiday after that as 'the fourth of July.' after a moment of pondering my bro, age 9 I think, says, '...is July 4th the fourth of July?'

I've never let him live that down XD

2. Once upon a time my family was at a REALLY crappy italian restaurant. My bro shows me a sugar packet and says 'dude! It's Holy Sugar!' of course the thing actually said 'Holly Sugar;. I was rollin. The whole time everyone was eating I went on preaching about the Holy Sugar and when we left the restaurant I kept yeling 'PRAISE THE HOLY SUGAR!'

That was fun :animesmil
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS]I can't remember alot of moments..but there was this one time...

Okay, i was like 5 or 6, and we were having my cousins graduation party.
He had invited a few of his friends, and what not.
Well, i had to go to the restroom really badly, and I didn't know
if someone was using it, i mean the lights were off in there.
So I just barged in, being the little impatient 5 or 6 year-old i was.
Then...I saw it. My cousins best friend was using the restroom, and I
had walked in on him.
Thing is, I didn't know how a guy looked like from below the waist, so I started
crying really loud, and ran into the living room where everybody was.
I started crying and yelling at my mom, "Why can't I pee-pee standing up??".
XD, everyone stared at me. And my mom was like, "What do you mean..?".
And then I told her how I saw Kevin's (cousin) friend umm..peeing standing up.
She started laughing. And then I said,
"I want one of those! I want to pee-pee like that!"
Eveybody laughed at me, I didn't care though, I was 5 or 6, come on.
My mom keeps bugging me with that though.

and a recent one...

I was at the mall, with my best friend and my sis.
We were at Hot Topic when these really cute guys came in.
My friend, Michelle, kept telling me that one of them was staring at me alot.
She told me I should go to talk to him. I'm too shy of course, so she HAD to drag me over there, but I ran off,lol.
A few minutes passed and we were still at the store, when the really cute guy that was staring at me, came and said,
"You have a stain on your...umm butt".
I wanted to die right there and then. One of his friends was laughing a bit.
He wasn't though, he was just like stain.on.your.butt type of face,lol.
All I said was, "Oh...thanks for noticing".
And I forced my sis and Michelle to leave that store immidiently.
Well, it turns out I had sat on the some cheesecake I had eaten earlier XD.
That really sucked.
Like I said, it was recent, but I still laugh at it ^^.[/FONT]
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I remember when I was about 6 or 7, when my mom's [B]current[/B] boyfriend at the time was making some milkshakes in the kitchen. My sister and I were in the living room playing a game, when we suddenly heard a screeching noise coming from the kitchen. It turned out that my mom's boyfriend had got his beard caught in the blender, and it was spinning around his chin as he flailed about, milkshake was going everywhere. I have never laughed so much in my life!

Also recently, my sister and I were at the beach, and she decided to carry a large rock up to where our stuff was. She asked me to help, but as I went to take the rock, she slipped on some seaweed and the rock slammed into my shin. Luckily, she kept hold of it and got back up, but my leg was in agony. And then, just as she turned, it slipped out of her hands and landed on my foot! At that point, my leg gave in and I fell to the floor. It wasn't funny at the time but I can laugh about it now. :animeswea
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[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=1][FONT=Verdana]I have way too many.
But I'll share some.

My sister and I go to this boat launch (she calls it "The Shore") just to walk in the water and pick up the smooth bits of colored glass or smooth stones and whatnot.
One time she told me,"Sis, I really have to pee." I told her to hold it for a few minutes, and that we would bike up to the park where they have bathrooms. She couldn't hold it, apparently and she wet herself. She was bawling up a storm, and as I went to put my hand over her mouth to muffle her crying,she fell backward.Into the water.
So, it wasn't a total lie that we told our parents about how she got her short all wet.

A million years ago (when I was 3) my mom was sitting at the kitchen table clipping cupons,and I was sitting on the floor watching her. I would ask her what the cupon was for, and she would tell me. One was for mayonaise, and I asked,"Mommy, what is that one?" and she said (naturally) "Mayonaise". To which I replied "Nuh uh! That's Helmans!"

And not a million years ago (more like 2 weeks ago) my father was driving my friend Star and me to a concert in Milwaukee (Panic!At the Disco, if you wanted to know) and we stopped at a McDonalds/gas station. While we were waiting for our food, I observed a sign talking about how free refills were limited to one per visit. I asked why would anyone be so stupid as to keep a McDonald's cup and refill it again,and my dad said,"Some people just are."
Presently, a nasty old man walked in, nasty old cup in hand, and headed right for the soda dispenser.
"Speak of the devil and he shall come."

On the way back from the same concert at the same McDonald's/gas station Star and I bought energy drinks (it was one in the morning and we didn't want to sleep) and then went into the bathroom. Star had a friend who was very environmentally concious (i.e only showering once a week to save water, extreme vegan etc.) who annoyed the snot out of us. We were entranced by the paper towel dispenser (it ran by a sensor) so I said,"Be sure to use extra paper towels to piss Stephanie off."
And lo and behold, [I]Stephanie[/I] comes out of the bathroom stall!
Or so we thought.
Needless to say, we freaked and ran. Stupid (and semi-punch drunk from semi-moshing) we didn't realize that it couldn't have been her, as she was out of state at the time, until we were in the car.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial]Last weekend, I was Miss Hannigan in a production of Annie. It's a pretty big part so I needed a lot of rest. Unfortunately, that was not a possibility.

I was sleeping soundly after the opening performance and wild cast party, until something cold slipped from between my toes. I awoke and saw a frog fly from my foot to my blinds, try to crawl across, and fall to the floor. Now, I'm way girly when it comes to animals such as this, and the only thing I could do was gather my pillows and run to my sisters' room. I was so nervous then that I couldn't go back to sleep. My sisters woke up and stayed up with me, but then we heard something in the hallway. It sounded like something was hitting the wooden floor. I figured out that it was the frog, hopping. Eventually, it hopped into my view, and I panicked. A horror movie soundtrack started playing in my head. Then it disappeared, into what I figured was my bedroom. Needless to say I was paranoid about going in there the next morning.

So, the next two performances and the cast party happened on Saturday, all of which exhausted me. I wasn't going to sleep in my room because I thought the frog was in there, so I bunked with my sisters again. I snuck into my room for a few minutes to get some clean clothes and took a shower, then went back to my sisters' room. Of course, we're quite rowdy when we're together at night, and I ended up laughing so hard that I needed to use the bathroom. =P. I went in there, sat down, and noticed a grayish lump of trash or something near the sink. Panic creeped over me as I realized it was the frog.

I figured it was dead, because it had been in my house for who knows how long and probably had nothing to eat. That would've been bad enough, because dead things are creepy, and frogs are already on my list of creepy things. I was just sitting there, unable to move, breathing heavily and whispering for one of my sisters to come save me. Then the frog moved, and the whispers turned into screams. It was jumping everywhere, and I was freaking out. Finally, my mom came to save me by hiding it under a newspaper as I escaped.

I still had another performance to do after that. Oh, what a night.[/FONT]
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