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The Kobra and Lamb Show!


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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by The Darkness Bu [/i]
[B]can I be the camera man...you know like egghead on YTV?(talk rarely) [/B][/QUOTE]

*appears out of nowhere* YTV? You're Canadian? Oh, BTW... Funny stuff, Gavin! Funny as 'ell! :D
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by The Darkness Bu [/i]
[B]yes I'm Canadian [/B][/QUOTE]

Shibby. I didn't know that... *pulls out a checklist* *checks something off* Well, that's another Canadian... *puts checklist away*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gavin, I know I've asked you this before, but.... Can I subscribe to these! You write the stories, them email me a copy when you're done writing one! Pleeeeaaaaasssseee? :)
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  • 4 months later...
Kobra: Ah. What a lovely day for a picnic.

Lamb: Sure is, and what better place to have one than a radioactive power plant.

Kobra: (eats a sandwich glowing with radioactive waste) Mhm?

Lamb: I suddenly don?t feel so good? (mutates)

Kobra: Same here? (mutates)

And so, that?s how Kobra and Lamb got their powers? here?s their other story?

Lamb: Gee, Kobra, what a nice day.

Kobra: Sure is. Wanna eat paste?

Lamb: Okay!

?: Muhahahahaha! There will be no eating paste!

Kobra/Lamb: (eating paste)

Lamb: Huh? Sorry. Eating paste here.

?: Argh! Alright! Let me start again? (walks off)

(smoke floods the set)

?: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA-hack! Cough! Damn this infernal smoke machine! Man! Can I at least make a decent entrance?

Kobra: Who the bloody ?ell are you?

?: I am the worst of the evil people. The apocolypse in which legend speaks. I am the terrible pizza crust that the zit-faced pizza boy gave you that Friday night. I am-

Lamb: Cut the crap and get to the point!

?: Alright? my name is Dr. Jabroni.
Kobra: What a stupid name!

Dr. Jabroni: Hey! You hurt my feelings! (starts to cry)

Lamb: Kobra! Look what you did!

Kobra: Whoops!

Lamb: Here, Dr. Jabroni? have a cookie. (bends down)

Dr. Jabroni: Ha HA! (punches Lamb)

Kobra: Good God no!

Dr. Jabroni: Muhahahahahaha-cough cough! Wheeze! Curses! Smoke again!

Lamb: Time to kick serious Jabroni ***!

[SIZE=3]-Lamb transforms into? SUPERLAMB!-[/SIZE]

Super Lamb: Okay! Now for you, Kobra!

Kobra: Right!

[SIZE=3]-Kobra transforms into... KOBRA!-[/SIZE]

Dr. Jabroni: Well? that was embarrassing?

(They all start fighting)

Dr. Jabroni: (Kicks Lamb)

[B]POW![/B]

Lamb: (punches Dr. Jabroni)

[B]BAM![/B]

Kobra: (Bites Lamb)

[B]CRUNCH![/B]

Lamb: Ow! Hey!

Dr. Jabroni: (socks Lamb)

[B]OW![/B]

Lamb: That?s it! Laser Eye Beam!

?

Lamb: I said, Laser Eye Beam!

umm?

[B]FAILURE![/B]

Lamb: Shut up!

Dr. Jabroni: Now I have you two where I want you?

Grandpa Lamb: Not so fast!

Dr. Jabroni: Good God! It?s? it?s?

Grandpa Lamb: Galactic Grandpa! (raises cane and strikes Dr. Jabroni on the head)

Galactic Grandpa does 4,000,000 dmg on Dr. Jabroni!

Dr. Jabroni: I?m melting! MELTING! Mel?

?

Galactic Grandpa: Well, that was unexpected?

And so, Galactic Grandpa saved the day ag-

(Movie cut short)

Lamb: What the hell? He didn?t! We did! Kobra and I!

Grandpa Lamb: Yeah? whatever?

Kobra: Ahem? now that our beginning skit is over, we can eat paste and start the show.

Audience: (applauds)

Lamb: That?s right, Kobra.
Kobra: Say, you wanna see me make bubbles with my spit?

Lamb: Why not. In fact, that is the theme of our show.

Kobra: Really? (blows a bubble and it pops)

Lamb: Wow! Who thinks that they can beat Kobra at this?

Audience: (many raise hands)

Lamb: You there! (points to a boy) What?s your name?

Boy: Ben.

Lamb: Beeennn???

Ben: Ben Dover.

Lamb: I most certainly will not!

Ben: No! That?s my name!

Lamb: Oohh.. still? I won?t?

Ben: Yeesh.

Lamb: Alright, you two. Ready? here we go!

(Ben and Kobra make bubbles)

Kobra: (Hi bubble pops and poison flies on Ben)

Ben: (collapses) ACK! IGIT! OOO!

Lamb: Well, that was unexpected.

Kobra: Umm? oops?

Lamb: Well, while the paramedics rush Ben off to the hospital, we?ll take a short intermission.

[SIZE=3]Kobra and Lamb: The unexpected can be expected? or some crap like that..[/SIZE]

Kobra: Were now back. Who wants to be the next to blow bubbles?

(Wall breaks open and the dust clears. Dr. Jabroni is revealed)

Dr. Jabroni: MUHAHAHAHA! I?ve returned! (piece of roof falls on Dr. Jabroni knocking him unconscious)

Lamb: Umm? okay?

Kobra: And now, let?s do fan mail!

[SIZE=4]FAN MAIL!!![/SIZE]

Kobra: Welcome to the fan mail part of our show. Today-

Man in Audience: WOOHOO! FAN MAIL!

Kobra: Umm? yes?

Lamb: Today we-

Man: YES YES YES! FAN MAIL! BOOYAH BABY! THAT?S THE STUFF!

Lamb: Will you shut up!

Man: ?

Kobra: Right. Anyways-

Man: YES!


That man was slain.


Lamb: Ahem? anyways. The first letter is from Mongoose of Michigan, Illonois. It?s for Kobra. Mongoose writes:

[I]Dear Kobra,[/I]

[I]I am a big fan. I love how you act stupid on the show.[/I]

Lamb: Act? I mean? anyways?

[I]Anyways, I was wondering if you wanna go out sometime. I?m a hot blond waiting for you. And one more thing. Why does your name start with a "K"?[/I]

[I]Sincerely, Mongoose[/I]

[I]PS: I have a friend named Wolf. She likes Lamb. If they want to go on a double date, that?d be nice.[/I]

Kobra: Hmm? sounds good.

Lamb: I dunno. This Mongoose gives me an itch in my wool? (turns to see a camera man tickling him) STOP!

Kobra: Hmm? oh, and as for my name? It?s because of-

[B]The show is receiving technique difficulties. At least ?til Kobra finishes answering this question?[/B]

Kobra: And that?s why?

Lamb: Wow. That gorrilla really cared about you.

Kobra: Yeah? well, anyways? here?s the next letter. It?s from Rubberman of Websterville, Rhode Island. Rubberman writes to both of us:

[I]Dear Kobra and Lamb,[/I]

[I]How do you think we should solve world hunger?[/I]

[I]Sincerely, Rubberman[/I]

Lamb: What the hell was that?

Kobra: I have no idea?

Lamb: Do we look like the kind of people- er? I mean, animals that would do such a thing?

Kobra: I eat field mice.

Lamb: Wha?

Kobra: I eat field mice.

Lamb: But? what does that? have to do with any- oh well.
Kobra: Now for Lamb Chat!

[SIZE=4]LAMB CHAT (BAHH!!!)[/SIZE]

Lamb: Lamb here, with Lamb Chat. Today on Lamb Chat, we have special guests Mark Hamill and Yoda.

Yoda: Haha! Jabroni, you are! Hehe!

Lamb: Umm? Yeah?

Mark: Ya know, Yoda. Shut the **** up!

Yoda: Wanna go, you do?

Mark: Ya know, you?re a terrible JedI Master!

Yoda: HUH? (lifts Luke up and hurls him into a wall) Asswipe, you are!

Mark: (Gets up) Ya know, I think your gay! You liked riding around on my back a little too much.

Yoda: Argh!

Mark: Argh!

(The two fight)

Lamb: Umm? alright? this concludes Lamb Chat?

Mark: You homo! I?ll use my light saber on you! Oh wait, that wouldn?t work. You like long shafts!

Yoda: To hell, you go!
____________________________________________________

Lamb: And now, you Jabroni audience, Kobra with the weather.

[SIZE=4]Channel 6 ½ Weather at Whatever Time it is[/SIZE]

Kobra: Umm? hey?

(silence in the audience)
Kobra: Strangely, it?s raining ice cream. And all the show?s employees went out and got some. (licks ice cream) Oh God that?s good. And also, there seems to be a Meteor Shower going on and- (gets crushed by a Meteor)
______________________________________________________________________
And so, Ash and his Pokemon friends are leaving home once more.

Ash: See ya, Mom!

Mom: Bye, honey! Bring back a lot of money so I don?t owe that nice man!

Ash: Okay! (walks down the road into the sunset?)

(suddenly a Meteor crushes him and Pikachu)

Mom: Oh my Goodness!

Lamb: Sorry. That?d be ours. Sorry. Sorry.

(Lamb and Kobra pick the meteor up and walk off)

Kobra: Once again? sorry?
____________________________________________________

Lamb: Well, that concludes the show. Later!

[B]This has been a Jabroni Broadcasting...[/B]
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That night, at ?La? Breadstick?, a fancy resturant?

Kobra/Lamb: (walk in)

Lamb: Is this the place?

Kobra: I guess? it?s what the note said.

(They soon see a hand waving to them and they follow to it. Once there, they?re pulled into the seats, guns to their heads)

Gangster: Alright. Where?s the money?

Kobra: Umm? in a safe?

Gangster: Grrr?

Lamb: (sweats) The Bank?

Gangster2: Uuhh.. Boss? those aren?t the guys.

Gangster: Oh. Sorry. Sorry. I thought you two were Python and Sheep. Sorry ?bout that.

Lamb: It?s okay.

Kobra: Yeah. It happens.

(They walk back to the front doors and stand next to a man with a podium)

Man at Podium: May I help you two sirs?

Kobra: Yes. Were waiting for a Ms. Mongoose and a Ms. Wolf.

Man: Oh right! You?re the unfortunate talk show hosts!

Lamb: Pardon?

Man: Nothing?

(silence?)

Man: Right this way?

(They walk off)

[SIZE=4]Blind Date[/SIZE]

Announcer: Welcome to Blind Date! Today we have 2 couples double dating. Ooo.. hey don?t know it either. Let?s learn about them?

Name- Kobra
Occupation: Terrible Talk Show Host
Hobby- Acting Stupid/Knitting

Name- Lamb
Occupation- Also Terrible Talk Show Host
Hobby- Ladies (even though he can?t get any)

Name- Mongoose
Occupation- Waitress at Beavers
Hobby- Eating Cobras

Name- Wolf
Occupation- Waitress at Beavers
Hobby- Eating Sheep and Lambs

Now let?s see how their double date goes?

Kobra: Is this it?

Man: Yes, sir. Enjoy your meal.

Lamb: Umm? hello?

Mongoose: hey. (gets up and strikes a shocking pose)

Kobra: You must be Mongoose.

Lamb: (turns to see a hideous drooling beast) And you must be?

Wolf: (says in a manly voice) Wolf. Call me Wolf. (drools)

Lamb: Umm?

Mongoose: Please, sit down.

(Kobra and Lamb sit next to their dates)

Kobra: So? what do you do?

Mongoose: Oh? nothing really? just a waitress.

Kobra: I?m a talk show host.

Mongoose: Hahaha! You can act stupid off the set too. I find that so cute!

Lamb: What? (sees the drool) ? ummm? what do you do?

Wolf: I am a waitress.

Lamb: Rea- (drool falls on Lamb?s arm) ACK! Hey now!

Kobra: So, what would you like to eat?

Mongoose: Cobra would be ni- I mean steak. I like steak.

Kobra: (grins)

Lamb: (backs into the end of his booth) So? umm? (feels more drool) ? what would you like to eat?

Wolf: MEAT! Lots of it! (drools)

Lamb: (backs away further as Wolf gets closer) Waiter! WAITER!

Waiter: And what would you 4 like?

Kobra: The field mice special, steak raw, and what would you two like?

Lamb: A select salad.

Wolf: Lambchops! Lots of it!

Lamb: (gulps)

Waiter: Very good. I?ll be back with your orders.

Lamb: (is 2 inches apart with Wolf) Help!

Kobra: ? really? That?s how you got to fly an airplane? That?s fascinating!

Mongoose: Well, ya know? when your father is head of the world domination unit, you do have a few privileges.

Lamb: God help me?

Wolf: (drools)

Kobra: Wow. Your eyes.

Mongoose: Yes?

Kobra: They?re like pools of? death.

Mongoose: Let me show you why.

(They kiss even though it seems like Mongoose is trying to eat Kobra?s head)

Lamb: Okay. This is a little uncomfortable.

Wolf: Okay! That?s it! It turns out I?m a guy wolf and I want to eat you for dinner.

Lamb: Oh. Is that all? WHAT?

Wolf: RAGH! (attacks Lamb)

Lamb: AHHH! (is being tossed about)

(Mongoose and Kobra finish their ?kiss?)

Kobra: Wow. That was great.

Mongoose: (licks fingers) Sure was. Needs salt.

Lamb: AHHHH!!!

Later that night, after Kobra and Lamb leave?

Lamb: (walks out of the resturant with Kobra, all ripped up) Ow?

Kobra: Ya know? I think we should go on another date.

Lamb: (stares at Kobra)

[B]POW![/B]
_______________________________________________

Lamb: Welcome to the Kobra and Lamb Show!

Audience: HAHAHAHA!

Kobra: Why are they all laughing?

Camera Man: Ah crap! (fumbles the tape with their date on it and it slides to Lamb?s hooves)

Lamb: What?s this? (pops in tape and watches in horror) What the hell? Blind Date? I never-

Kobra: Hey! I?m on TV! Cool!

Lamb: Idiot?

Kobra: Now for weather.

[SIZE=4]Channel 6 ½ Weather at Whatever Time it is[/SIZE]

Kobra: Today we?re receiving tornados. (A cow flies by) Umm? yeah. I warn you to stay alert. (he ducks barely missing a toilet) I tell you to get in your basements! (gets hit by a unicorn)

[B]Please Stand By...[/B]
_______________________________________________

Lamb: Kobra is not here at the moment and I don?t know why.

(Hospital)

Doctor: Get me knives! I need knives!

(show)

Lamb: I guess he went to eat field mice.

(hospital)

Doctor: I?m losing him! For God sakes! I?m not losing another one!
(Show)

Lamb: I guess I?ll start without him.

(hospital)

Doctor: Almost! C?mon! C?mon!

(show)

Lamb: Umm?

(hospital)

Doctor: NO! NO!

Nurse: Sir? he?s gone..

Doctor: (crying) So close? so close.. (leaves room) So? sniff sniff? who?s the next patient?

Nurse: Kobra from The Kobra and Lamb Show.

Doctor: The what?

Nurse: The Kobra and Lamb Show.

Doctor: The what?

Nurse: Just take care of him!

(show)

Lamb: Alright. How about Lamb Chat!

[SIZE=4]Lamb Chat! (Bahh!!!)[/SIZE]

Lamb: Lamb here. Today on Lamb Chat, we have special guest Kenny Rogers.

Kenny: I need a drink.

Lamb: Well, there?s a glass of water right next to yo-

Kenny: I meant beer. Beer me!

Lamb: But-

Kenny: I said beer me, dammit!

Lamb: We don?t supply that.

Kenny: What? I?ll die!

Lamb: Look. I assure you you won?t die.

Kenny: I?m dying?

Lamb: Kenny? Kenny? calm time..

Kenny: I?m cool? I?m cool?

Lamb: Your cool. Good. Calmness? Calmne-

Kenny: RARGH! (throws his chair at the camera man)

Lamb: get the tranquilizers! Get the tranquilizers!

Sniper: (fires tranquilizers at Kenny 20 times)

Man in Audience: Good God! That?s enough juice to drop an elephant!

Sniper: (tastes the fluid in the tranquilizers) It is Juice. Grape, I believe.

Lamb: Get the bigger tranquilizer!

Sniper: (throws a huge tranquilizer and it strikes Kenny in the buttcheek)

Kenny: RARGH! ROAR!!!

Lamb: Drop the net!

(net drops from above trapping Kenny)

Lamb: Phew! Now that Kenny Rogers has been tamed, we can move on with Fan Mail.

[SIZE=4]Fan Mail!!!![/SIZE]

Lamb: Were here to-

Kobra: I?m back.
Audience: (applauds)

Lamb: Hey Kobra, you Jabroni.

Kobra: Hey!

Lamb: Hey Kobra, you Jabroni.

Kobra: Hey!

Lamb: Hey Kobra, you Jabroni.

Kobra: Hey!

Lamb: Hey Kobra, you Jabroni.

Kobra: Hey!

Lamb: Okay. Cut the crap. Well, were about to do some fan mail and-

Kobra: Wait! We have some new fan mail!

Lamb: No crap.

Kobra: No! I meant a new type of fan mail!

Lamb: Say what?

Kobra: Call us and we may air your message.

Lamb: Wow. Good show, you Jabroni.

Kobra: Nah. This isn?t a good show. It recieves terrible ratings. Anyways, we have 1 message. It?s from someone named Percy. Here?s his message recording:

Message: Hey Kobra. My name is Percy. I was calling because my girlfriend Mongoose left me for some guy named Kobra and I was going to kill myself with this gun? well, here it goes? BANG! ? ? ? ow! Ow ow! okay. So I really didn?t do it. But I will now. Here we go! BANG! Son of a! Okay. This time is real. 3?s a charm. BANG! Oww? the pain? it burns? it burns? What the hell is all the racket? Holy crap! Are you trying to kill yourself, Percy? Well, no more phone for you! Hang up now! But Mom! No buts! Ow Mom! That?s my ear. Ahhh!! Oh great. Your tore it off. Now I have blood on my hands. Well, get off the phone! But- Hang it up no- *click*


Lamb: Ya know what.

Kobra: What?

Lamb: Let?s never do the phone thing again.

Kobra: Right.

Lamb: Before we leave, we must play this commercial from Jabroni productions:


(People playing soccer)

You gotta be regenerated when playing.

(Man makes a basket)

You gotta do all you can.

(hockey player hits a puck)

And you need a drink that refreshes you.

(Gatorade bottle shows up? it?s suddenly knocked over and Lamorade is revealed behind it)

Lamorade. Obey the Lamb! You know you want some! Drink it! Cornbread is good! Buy a lot of Lamorade.

[B]Is the Lamb in you?[/B]

Lamb: I agree. That?s a good product.

Kobra: It seems like a rip off of another produ-

Lamb: No it doesn?t.

Kobra: It seems to be like gato-

Lamb: Well, that ends our show. Bye!

[SIZE=4]This has been a Jabroni Broadcasting...[/SIZE]
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  • 2 weeks later...
:D:D :haha::haha: :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao: Oh MAN!!!! :D LOL!!!!!!!
-----------------------------------
~~~[b]EDIT[/b]

If you do add Elves in the next show.....don't diss them too bad. :shifty: A bunch of people say I'm like one. But oh well! If it's funny, it's fine with me! :D
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  • 2 weeks later...
lights brighten revealing a man in a wheely chair)

Man in wheely chair: Good evening. Or morning. I don?t know what time it is. I haven?t seen the light od day in, I?m guessing, 5 months. Ahem? but anyways, the story your about to hear may shock you? or not. I?m just a guy in a wheely chair. I don?t know.

(gets up)

Man not in wheely chair which use to be in a wheely chair: Now I?m a man not in a wheely chair. (sits back down)

Man in a wheely chair who got up and became a man not in a wheely chair, but started out as a man in a wheely chair: But I prefer being a man in a wheely chair. Ahem? anyways, there?s only one thing for sure? this wheely chair is very, very comfortable. I bought it at Art Van. They have excellent prices and by far the best deals I?ve ever heard of for wheely chairs. (spins in his chair) WEEE! These chairs are excellent for spinning around in circles. (spins) WEEE! (spins) WEEE! (pins) WEEE- (collapses on floor) oh great. I just threw up in my mouth. (gets back in chair and lays back) Okay?. very sick now? start the story?


[SIZE=4]THE STORY![/SIZE]

[B]In the world of Oblivion... [/B]

Laqurthiner: Come to the dark side, Rubberman.

Laqurthiner: Do it! And you and me could rule the galaxy as father and son.

Rubberman: Hmm? that?s a good deal.

Laqurthiner: It is. I thought so too.

Rubberman: Hmm? yes, but I?ll have to reconsider. I?ll never join yo- wait? you can?t be my father. It?s impossible being the fact that I?m 2 years older than you.

Laqurthiner: Yes? umm? well, I said father and son. Who said anything about me being the father.

Rubberman: Yes, but still? 2 years. I didn?t make a woman pregnant at age 1.

Laqurthiner: Well? umm? still? will you come?

Rubberman: No!

Laqurthiner: Then you shall suffer. (pulls a bandaid off Rubberman)

Rubberman: AHHH!!! AHHH!!! AHH-wait? that didn?t hurt?

Laqurthiner: Wha?

Rubberman: Yeah. It didn?t. Ya see, the bandaid has to be on for a few hours.

Laqurthiner: Oh? well? I have no time for that so I?ll just shoot you (raises handgun)

Rubberman: Noo!!

Laqurthiner: MUHAHAHA! (fires gun) HAHAHA- what?

Rubberman: Umm? blanks, I guess.

Laqurthiner: Oh. Hold on then. (walks over to a table and gets out some bullets)

Rubberman: (waits)

Laqurthiner: Just another moment? (fumbles the bullets and they fall on the floor)

Rubberman: Hurry it up. Ya know, I could have killed you by now.

Laqurthiner: I know. That?s why your such a good sport. (picks up bullets and puts them in his gun) Okay. Ready. (raises gun)

Rubberman: NO!

Laqurthiner: MUAHAHAHA! (fires gun)

Rubberman: (the bullet hits him and flies back at Laqurthiner)

Laqurthiner: (dodges, falls on the ground, and the bullet misses him) I?VE BEEN HIT!

Rubberman: Umm? but you dodged the-
Laqurthiner: It?s getting darker?

Rubberman: Umm? isn?t it suppose to be getting lighter?

Laqurthiner: Oh, right? but it is getting darker? maybe it?s because I didn?t take my eye drops this morning. (puts in eye drops) Oh? that?s better? ACK! It?s getting brighter!

Rubberman: Still? you weren?t sho-

Laqurthiner: Hush! I have something for you, Rubberman. (holds out his hand)

Rubberman: What is it?

Laqurthiner: It?s? your mother? (opens hand revealing a bouncy ball)

Rubberman: Mother? What did they do to you?

Laqurthiner: They made her into a bouncy ball? not to mention a bad kind of rubber.

Rubberman: I?ll vow to get revenge.

Laqurthiner: Good? now.. I shall? make a dramatic death scene? goodbye, young Rubberman? (closes his eyes and places his head to the ground)

Rubberman: Laqurthiner?

(starts to rain)

Rubberman: Rain? Aren?t we inside? Eh. Oh well? Laqurthiner?

(silence?)

Laqurthiner: Am I dead yet?

Rubberman: No.

Laqurthiner: Now?

Rubberman: No.

Laqurthiner: Now?

Rubberman: No.

Laqurthiner: Now?

Rubberman: No.

Laqurthiner: Now?

Rubberman: No, so shut up!

Laqurthiner: (dies)

Rubberman: Oh? okay? (leaves)


[B]Later, outside Oblivion... [/B]

Rubberman: (walks up to his vehicle) I never even said goodbye?

?: Laqurthiner will always be with you.

Rubberman: WHAT THE HELL?

?: Relax? I?m a ghost?

Rubberman: Oh yeah? those are calming words? wait? Obi Wan?

?: No! Grandpa Lamb.

Audience: (applauds)

Grandpa Lamb: Now you know what to do. Get your Jabroni *** around and take revenge for your mother?s fate. Destroy the world!

Rubberman: Hmm? your idea of eating candy intreges me?

Grandpa Lamb: Eating what now?

Rubberman: Off to the candy shop! (jumps in his vehicle, which is a porche and flies away? yes, flies. No, it?s not a typo.)

Grandpa Lamb: What a Jabroni.

[B]Later, at the candy shop...[/B]


Rubberman: Man, I love jaw breakers?

Grandpa Lamb: Rubberman?

Rubberman: AH! *chokes on jaw breaker and dies)

Grandpa Lamb: Well, damn? (gives his soul back to his body) Yeesh. Don?t do that!

Rubberman: But I like heaven. People wore red suits and had horns? pitch forks too?

Grandpa Lamb: That was Hell.

Rubberman: No. It was Suddam Hussein?s image of heaven.

Grandpa Lamb: Ah!

Rubberman: Now, what do you need?

Grandpa Lamb: For you to do what I say? now come closer and I?ll explain?

Rubberman: GOT IT! *flies away*

Grandpa Lamb: But I haven?t even said anything?

Rubberman: Wait? I can?t fly? (looses flying ability and falls on ground)

Grandpa Lamb: Listen to me or I?ll use my cane and deal 4,000,000 dmg on you!

Rubberman: Fine. Fine. What is it?

[B]Later, at the meeting of the World Leaders...[/B]

America: We can?t stand this torture anymore. Rubberman is ruining our nation.

Japan: (In japanese) Us too.

Other Nations: (stare at Japan)

Japan: (In Japanese) What? Is there something in my teeth?

Other Nations: (stare)

Russia: I say, we nuke him! NUKE HIM!

Australia: Good idea, mate. Then we?ll give him a good wolippin?!

Britain: Good show, my dear chap.

Canada: I say we should leave him be. I?m sure he has a reason for this.

Russia: Oh? Like what, Mr. Smarty Country.

Canada: Like his mother was turned into a rubber bouncy ball, not to mention made out of a terrible type of rubber, and seeks revenge on the world ?cause an old lamb told him to.

Other Nations: (stare at Canada)

Paris: Sockerie Blu! Turn on the TV!

(They turn on the TV and the news about Rubberman is on)

China: Turn channel! TURN CHANNEL!

(They turn the channel and Jerry Springer is on)

Nations: Awww?

[B]Later, after Jerry...[/B]

America: So? what are our options?

Russia: NUKE HIM!

Paris: Stab him with our Eiffel Tower, Monsieur!

Australia: Give him a kick in the knee, mate!

Japan: (In Japanese) Kill him!

Other Nations: (stare at Japan)

Japan: (Also in Japanese) Stop Staring!!

Other Nations: Oh? okay?

America: Then the plan is, get all the armies of the world and destroy RUBBERMAN.

Other Nations: MUHAHAHAHHAAHA! (gas leaks in covering everyone) HAHAHAHA-cough! Cough! HACK!

Japan: What bogie!

[B]Meanwhile, at the headquarters of THE GOOD GUYS...[/B]

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: We have our new heroes to fight Rubberman, sir.

Leader: Good. Where did you find them and who are they?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: They?re some kids we found in a sandbox at some park. We replaced them with our look alikes.

(Park)

Mother: Boy you two have grown.

Look alike1: Umm.. what was my line? Oh yeah? baby made a bad thing.

(Headquarters)

Leader: Excellent. Send them out right away.

(They soon send the two babies out on their mission, but along the way were captured by King Kong, who was defeated by Superman [no footage found], Superman defeated by Nessy the Loch Ness Monster, who was defeated by the werewolf, who was defeated by Dracula with a silver bullet, who was killed by Jerry Springer with a stake, who was annilated by the Camera Man. The two babies are now with him?)

Leader: Well, damn. Now who are we going to get?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: The next best thing, sir. The next best thing.

(Kobra and Lamb show up on screen)

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: Excuse me you two.

Kobra/Lamb: Yes?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: I was wondering? could you two move out of the way. We wanna ask the two port potties behind you if they want to save the world from Rubberman.

Kobra: Oh. Sorry.

Lamb: Yeah. We?ll move.

(They move.)

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: Excuse me. I know your busy and all?

Port Potties: ?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: You wanna save the world?

Port Potties: ?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: ?

Port Potties: ?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: ?

Port Potties: (flushing sounds. Man walks out of one and the stench is unbearable)

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: Well, dang it. Who am I going to find? Hey, you two!

Kobra/Lamb: Yes?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: You know where I can get a Cobra and a Lamb. They seem like the right types for this job.

Lamb: Well..

(suddenly, mutated guppies pop out of the port potties)

Kobra: Good God! What did that man eat?

Guppy: RARGH!

Lamb: (becomes SuperLamb and punches the guppy and lasers him to death)

Kobra: (becomes a earthworm and wiggles around a bit)

Lamb: (kills all the guppies)

[B]Hours after the fight...[/B]

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: OH MY GOODNESS! I have a great idea! You two wanna save the world?

Kobra/Lamb: Sure.. why not?


[SIZE=3]TO BE CONTINUED SOME TIME IN OUR ILL-GOTTEN LIVES...[/SIZE]
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Yeah, I want to be laughing so hard that I fall out of my chair, then go back in my chair, then fall out again, die laughing, then come back to life and get into my chair, then fall out of my chair again... all while laughing. Think that could happen with what's coming up?
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[SIZE=3]The Rubberman Saga[/SIZE]
[SIZE=1]Part 2[/SIZE]


Man in wheely-chair: Last we left our so called ?heroes?, they were just assigned to saving the world duty. Their mission: To save the world. What will they do? Save the world. And what is their mission all about? Saving the world. No. I don?t repeat myself because I have some sort of disease. I?m just getting it through your pea-sized brains! *gets beat up* Ow? cue the rest of the show?

[SIZE=4]THE REST OF THE SHOW![/SIZE]


[B]On the GOOD GUYS' plane thingy...[/B]

Kobra: Wow, Lamb. This is exciting!

Lamb: Sure is. Why, what do we do when we save the world Agent? er? agent, sir?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: Well, you see, Kobra and Lamb, your mission is simple. Save the world from complete annihilation and probably sacrifice your lives while doing so.

Kobra: Oh? Is that it?

Suddenly, an alarm goes off!

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: It?s time, you two. Are you ready to die?

Kobra: DIE? WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DYING?

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: Why, I did just a few seconds ago.

Lamb: No you didn?t! You talked about sacrificing!

Agent 49823992912394034+842389: Umm? that is dying?

Kobra: Oh. We thought it was some type of pasta we had to eat. Well, is it too late to quit this jo-AHHHH!!! *They were pushed out of the plane*

[B]After the heroes safely splatted on the surface of the Earth...[/B]

Kobra: That hurt, Lamb.

Lamb: Yeah. But we?re secret agents now and we can?t let mortal injuries stand in our way.

Kobra: *plays with his broken neck* Okay, Lamb. You must be right.

Lamb: Naturally. NOW LET?S MOVE!

[B]Meanwhile, the world leaders begin to attack...[/B]

America: Are we ready?

Other Nations: YEAH!

America: Alrighty then? FIRE FIRST MISSLE! *They push a button and watch the video game screen in glory*

Russia: You did it! You sunk the computer?s battle ship!

America: Naturally.

Japan: (Speaking in Japanese) Everybody! Everybody! We have spotted Rubberman!

Other Nations: (Stare at Japan)

Japan: (stares back)

Other Nations: ?

Japan: ?

Man in background: (coughs)

America: Riiiiiiiiight?. Now, as for Rubberman, I feel as if he has been spotted.

Japan: (slaps forehead)

Australia: Then we shall attack, right mate?

Russia: YES! NUKE HIM!

America: Yes. Attack and nuke. Let?s get jiggy with it.
(lights dim and music plays as women come out of nowhere and dance)

Russia: I?m liking this party!

Britain: Well said, old chap.

Japan: (says in Japanese to an American girl) You like to party?

American Girl: (stares at Japan)

Japan: (in English) JIMINY CRICKET!!!

American Girl: Jiminy Cricket! I love him!

Japan: Alright. (They walk into another room)

[B]Meanwhile, as Japan gets some, the heroes spot Rubberman...[/B]

Kobra: (picks up his walkie talkie which is really 2 cups on a string) Come in Puffysheep. This is python. Come in Puffysheep. I see Rubberman. I repeat, I see Rubberman.

Lamb: (smacks Kobra) Yeah! I see him too!

Rubberman: I see him also!

Lamb: Well, that makes 3 of us.

Kobra: No. I don?t see him.

Lamb: But you just said? BAH! Nevermind. Good God! (points in Rubberman?s direction) THERE IT IS!

Rubberman: So you finally see where I am, do you?

Lamb: (Runs towards Rubberman)

Rubberman: Alright. I?ll fight.

Lamb: (runs past Rubberman and to the barber shop behind him) I?ve needed a trim for weeks!

Rubberman: BAH! I?ll fight Kobra, then.

Kobra: So be it. (Transforms into? A DESTRUCTIVE DRAGON? which is 1/8 of Rubberman?s size) Aww crap.
Rubberman: Heh heh. (jumps Kobra and beats him up)

[B]2 hours after the fight and Lamb's haircut...[/B]

Lamb: (walks out of Barber?s shop) What a nice cut. KOBRA! WHAT HAPPENED?

Kobra: Rubberman? attacked?

Lamb: No. Not about you! I mean, my haircut looked just fine when I was in the shop, now it?s parted a little! OH NO! The wind did this! CURSES!

Kobra: But Rubberman?

Lamb: No time for that now, Kobra! We have a mission!

[B]Another hour later...[/B]

Lamb: There, fixed that. Now, Kobra, what were you saying?

Kobra: (still mangled) Rubberman? got away?

Lamb: OH NO! Let?s move! (runs off)

?

?

Lamb: (runs back) Sorry. Forgot you were mangled. (picks up Kobra and runs off)

[B]Later, in the secret headquarters of Rubberman...[/B]

Grandpa Lamb: Have you destroyed a lot of useless stuff?

Rubberman: Yes, master.

Grandpa Lamb: Excellent. Now you must destroy? THE WORLD! Nah? too sudden?

Rubberman: Then what, master?

Grandpa Lamb: Umm? I guess? just destroy some mailboxes or something.

Rubberman: But that?s a federal crime to post delivery.

Grandpa Lamb: FINE! You cheap, Jabroni. Then just throw some water balloons at oncoming cars outside our secret headquarters.

Rubberman: Right, Master.

(Rubberman walks out the door and customers come in)

Grandpa Lamb: (Gets behind counter) Welcome to Grandpa lamb?s secret head-I mean? welcome! What kind of pet do you want?

[B]Meanwhile, outside, Rubberman is found throwing water balloons at oncoming cars...[/B]

Rubberman: Jinkies, this is fun! (Velma comes up and kicks him in the shin)

Velma: *****.

Rubberman: Ow?

Passing Guy: Hey look! There?s Rubberman! He was just kicked by that freakish-looking girl!

Velma: HEY! (Kicks the Passing Guy)

Passing Guy: Ow!

Random Man that just so happened to be watching: HEY! That 4-eyed monster just attacked that guy!

Velma: Why you little- (punches the random guy)

[SIZE=4]News headline[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Velma from the crazy show Scooby Doo decapitates a man![/SIZE]

[B]Later, after Velma was tamed...[/B]

Rubberman: Master, I completed my mission and that sorry excuse for a crime-fighter destroyed the world practically.

Grandpa Lamb: Excellent. But I would appreciate it if you didn?t say our secret plans in front of the customers. (Turns to customers) I?m sorry. I must brainwash- I mean? give you a snack. Come this way into the other room.

Customer: Why does that room say ?Brain Washing Area??

Grandpa Lamb: Oh that? My grandson drew it in art class.

Customer: But the sign next to it says ?No that other sign was not drawn by Grandpa Lamb?s grandson in art class?.

Grandpa Lamb: I don?t even know why that sign is there.

Customer: Yeah. There?s a sign that talks about that too.

Grandpa Lamb: ALRIGHT! JUST CUT THE CRAP AND GET IN MY BRAIN WASHING ROOM!


The very next day, Rubberman became destructive again and attacked the world nonstop? well? until it was nap time? but then he destroyed again! You wouldn?t want a cranky super villian without his nap would you? I mean really? what?s better? Cranky villain destroying the world or a regular villain destroying the world? Ahem? back to the story?

Rubberman: Muhahahahaha! Evil!

Lamb: Stop right there!

Kobra: Your surrounded.

Rubberman: (looks at the two and sees they only cover 2 sides. He runs in a direction none are in)

Kobra: Dang! He?s smarter than we thought.

Lamb: I have an idea! (He throws a bomb at Rubberman and it lands at his feet) Hey Rubberman! That bomb will explode in 5 seconds, okay?

Rubberman: Okay! (throws it back and it blows up in Kobra and Lamb?s faces)

Kobra: Way too brilliant. How does he do it?

Lamb: There?s only one thing left to do! (Transforms into SuperLamb!) Bring it!

(Rubberman and SuperLamb duke it out)

Kobra: Me too! (Transforms into? a thing that transforms? he then uses his ability to transform and transforms into? a balloon animal) Crap. (he pops)

[B]After much duking...[/B]

SuperLamb: You?re a worthy foe, but we shall win.

Rubberman: No you will not! (Blasts Lamb to death with a beam from his hands)

SuperLamb: (dies)

Kobra: Wait, wait, wait?

Rubberman: What now? I?m killing someone! Can?t you see?

Kobra: Yeah, but you don?t have a hand beam.

Rubberman: Oh? okay?

Kobra: You can live now, Lamb.

Lamb: yay! (beats up Rubberman)

Rubberman: HI-YA! (Kicks SuperLamb in the pills)

Lamb: Low? real? low? (collapses)

Kobra: Lamb?s in trouble! I must believe? (Transforms into? DESTRUCTO KOBRA? complete with arms and legs) Dude, I rock? (raises huge gun)

Rubberman: Aww? crap?

Kobra: (Prepares to fire when suddenly)

Mickey Mouse: Haha. Hello all! (He was blasted by Kobra)

Rubberman: Ya know what. When you desinigrated that rodent a second ago, I noticed something. We shouldn?t be fighting. My mother may be a bouncy ball, not to mention terrible rubber, but I can?t take it out on you guys. I?ll do it to the government?. NOW LET?S PARTY!

(the song ?Celebration? plays and everyone dances. Wheely chair guy pops up, as does the world leaders, the agent, the leader and all them good people)

Japan: (Says in Japanese) Good party!

Everyone: (Stares at Japan)

Japan: (In English) Cut the crap and break it down!

Everyone: YEAH! GO JAPAN! GO JAPAN! IT?S YOUR BIRTHDAY! IT?S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Japan: Oh yeah! Breakdancing!

Grandpa Lamb: Stop! (all stop and turn to Grandpa Lamb) Look at yourselves. Fighting and killing one another. You should be friends and make sweet love in the moonlight. That and partying.

Baby lookalike2: But we are partying?

Grandpa Lamb: Oh? then die! (raises huge bazooka)

Britain: (leaps into the air and knocks Grandpa Lamb off the roof) Kiss my British ***, old bean!

Everyone: (cheers then parties all night long)


Man in Wheely chair: Yes? it was a good party, but nothing is better than going home with a few ladies. Come on girls? (He takes the Baby Lookalikes with him and they live happily ever after? or not? no.. wait.. they do. Yeah. They do.)
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