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Albums that don't exist

Joe Strummer

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I was StumbleUpon-ing and I stumbled upon (hurr) this little game.


It's called Albums That Don't Exist, and here are the rules:

1 - Go to Wikipedia's random article page [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random[/url]
The first article you get is the name of your band

2 - Go to the Random Quotations page [url]http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Random[/url]
The last four words of the last quote is the album title

3 - Go to Flickr's Interesting photo page [url]http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/[/url]
Third picture, no matter what it is, is your album cover

4 - Put it all together to make your album. Either crop it to CD cover size, or just use the raw image itself... the only rule is you're only allowed to add the album title and artist title.

Here's a cd blank to use as a template

and my submission
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The country stars, List of National Football League Head Coaches recently returned to the spotlight with their fifth live album, At the Village Pump. The sounds of nature and animals heard between each track add a serene quality to their sound in a way few other bands can accomplish.[/font][/size]
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The debut release of Canadian indie duo Lödersdorf. "From Nowhere in Particular" showcases the two members' years and years of inexperience with their instruments. Most of the songs are horribly composed completely by acoustic guitar and bagpipes. Only a few months after the album hit stores, the pair broke up from frustration at being constantly mistaken for a metal band. They later reformed, adding a tap dancer to the line-up, and changed their name to The Flirt.[/FONT]
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[I]...For Time is Short[/I] is the sophomore effort from New York-based indie pop trio National Railway Equipment Company. Three days after its release, a Pitchfork Media employee was found to have died of electrocution after drooling excessively onto his keyboard whilst listening to the album, inciting a lawsuit from the company. This factor, combined with the recent theft of all of the band's cardigans on their recent tour with Seabear, has caused the band to go on an indefinite hiatus.
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[COLOR="1234"](Sorry, I'm not good with images, so this will have to do for the cover.)
[B]Spoiled Girl's [/B]debut album [I]'Ladies loving Ladies' [/I]was the first spark that set the fire of greatness for the all-lebian-girl heavy metal quartet. [B]'But I'm in love' [/B]is the band's third foray into awesomeness after their last album [B]'Vagina Junction, What's Your Function?' [/B]was picketed by the Lesbian's for Equality group in Virginia. The first single [I]'I'll Kill you & Scissor You' [/I]off of the album, was the highest death-metal song on the charts, hitting number 1 on all billboards.[/COLOR]
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Eagle's Nest Airport (Known as "Virginia"... in America) Topped the charts for over 9000 weeks with their third hit single "Freaky Fred," featured on their tenth album, "Carpenter's Square is Dead." In this song, the lead singer, Clyde the paper towel roll, describes various things as "Naughty." An Excerpt:

I bought a lemon, peeled the peel,
Used it for zest with lots of zeal,
Watched a bit of movie reel,
It made me feel quite... Naughty.

Though the initial reaction was quite positive, the shock factor (derived from the fact that if the song is played backwards at a certain point, it appears to insult the listener's mother) was not enough to build up the sales once the general public realized that the band kind of sucked. Only hurting matters was the concert tour in which Clyde contracted Mononucleosis and was forced to temporarily surrender his position as lead singer to Sanjaya Malakar.

The band has recently been considering a reunion tour. By donating to charity and helping those in need, it is possible that America's collective karma will prevent such a terrible thing from happening.
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Hormanal Imprinting was a smash succes in their home-town of Chipsdale Illinois. Their album 'A German Pornstar's Mouth' was a succes only felt in small-animal hating comunities. HI's beliefs are anti-nature and their first single from the album, 'Mate Like a Rabbit, Moan like a Banshee,' has been nominated for worst preformance by a county band in over 200 years.

A few days later, numerous riots caused a mass-extinction of the squerrel and chipmunk population, as well as dwindling the number of walnuts in the world to 2. The tragic loss landed lead singer and guitarist 'Bucky Brandon' 4000 sentences in federal prison.[/COLOR]
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[quote name='Premonition'][COLOR="1234"][IMG]http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r43/atomic_sorcerer/GERMAN.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I could almost swear you did that on purpose, Prem.


John Lewis's debut album was the subject of much controversy around the time of its release. Although the cover does clearly say "VIP," these initials refer to the chicken painted on the store front and not the actual CD. The actual title can be found on the bird itself: "He is World Deep." Whether or not this also refers to the chicken is still the subject of much debate, although a slightly less popular theory involving the store owner has also surfaced recently.
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Heron Santana's tenth studio album was also his most infamous. Fans and Critics alike were stunned at the bold, and demanding nature of the title "Believe as I Believe." Singles from the album such as "Do as I say (not as I do)" "Bow to Glory" and "I'll part the Oceans" did nothing to dispell the growing rumours that Santana's sucess had led him to develop a "God complex."

Believe what I Believe was released in 1985 to a cold reception. In 1989, unsold copies of the record were sold to China so they could be melted down and used in the construction of new roads. Santana, devastated by the reception his album got, changed his name and moved to Saudi Arabia, where he worked in the oil projections industry.

Santana attempted a comeback in 2006, opening for local band "Chilli Badilly." When Chilly Badilly were exposed for lip-syncing, Santana's remaining shred of reputation was shattered.

Santana now stocks shelves at the local "Buy'N-Go" store.

Despite the famous name, Heron Santana is no relation to Carlos Santana. Far from it.
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List of Acanthodians was a lesser known group, mostly because they never seemed to settle on any particular genre for any particular song. A prime example of this is the title track of the album pictured above, "Leaving without that Mouse!!" which horrifically clashes with itself on seven different occasions because of an abrupt style change. The song cycles through soft rock, punk, emo, classical, a capella and gospel thirteen times before finally ending with a jazzy feel. Seeing as how the song is only four and a half minutes long, it causes a fair amount of sensory overload.

On a concert tour in Iraq, the band was captured by Jihadists. They then became the first hostages for Islam extremists to threaten to release if demands were not met (demands were promptly met.)
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This game is addictive. I would actually love to listen to the hit song "Leaving without that Mouse!!" If only such a crazy song were real.

A few more...


NASCAR's Most Popular Driver award were a band of utter chaos and confusion. No-one could understand them, or their bizarre choice of band name. Fans who did show up at their concerts were most often dissapointed NASCAR fans who believed they had bought tickets to a genuine NASCAR gala event.

The name of the band was made even more bizarre by the revelation that none of the band mambers were actually NASCAR fans.

In 2004, they released their sixth sutio album, "You stop your story," featuring one of the most bizarre cover artworks ever. Their sucess diminished soon afterwards, when NASCAR sucessfully sued them over the rights to the name.

They are now playing small gigs in bars under their new name "List of Grammy Nominees."


"Don't mess with Family," released in 1998, is the critically acclaimed album from bluegrass-swing band Kalyna Country. Fans and critics alike praised the album for it's seamless integration of swing, jazz and bluegrass country genres into one unique sound.

Fans were wooed by such hits as "Daddy let them cows come home" and "Never to old (to swing the old barn door.)"

Kalyna Country followed this album up with a sucessful world tour, and are currently working on their new album, a follow-up titled "Respect of the family."
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Gigantosaurus' latest album caused a commotion over the comedy-metal scene that was just born. At a press conference the band stated [B]"We're just a group made by a retarded teenager at his computer, THIS NEVER REALLY HAPPENED!"[/B]

Undredal, an emo band from New York, gave the emo-stereotype that all emos are pussies a shove off a cliff. The group is all emo, yet they are all different, but no one ahs ever seen them... probably because the band members all killed themselves when the album was released.[/COLOR]
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Well then, you think you know Gao Changli from his political career. Well then you are in for a change as the new face of Gangsta rap arrives on the scene and he is here with a vengance.


Bizarre quote eh? My quote one was Rockman
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Lousie Gore initially found fame with the New Valenci'e Philharmonic orchestra. She played in many performances ranging from classic recitals to movie scores.

In 2005, she decided to go solo with this effort, "Hunter and Stop Figiding. The album was a universal flop, consisting of nothing but cover songs, re-imagined using nothing but performances of the original song bassline.

The cover of "You really got me" consists of one line featuring akon singing "girl, you really got me" followed by a repetitive and hollow performance of the bassline, consistent with the other songs. Fans of Akon were dismayed when they bought the album that had gleefully pronounced in one of those promo stickers that it did, in fact, feature Akon. Akon sucessfully sued Gore in 2006 citing the fact that he had perfomred the entire song for the album, and Gore had cut most of his performance because there was too much "blah-blah."

Gore retired from music in 2008. She is a known protester of using vocals, guitars, pianos, woodwind, brass and drums in music.


Electronica eighties band, Inertial Electrostatic Confinement released their sophomore album, "The Randomness of Victimisation" in 1985. The album was a hit amongst the bands target audience of chimpanzees and wasps.

The album is set in a dystopic future where robots have inherited the world's worm farms, and harnessed all the of the suns rays into a death beam (the dystopic "New York" picture on the album cover is a depiction of a cloudless midday in this future.). In the album, and inspired musician called "Fuschia" builds a wall around himself to distance himself from the autonomous robots bent on fertilising the worlds soil the [I]wrong way[/I], ooh!

In the end, "Fuschia" does battle with the robots, who have themselves morphed into machines resembling pigs wearing war helmets, and he overcomes them, setting the worlds worms free and reversing the effects on the sun.

They invevitably failed to follow the success of this album with their third, "jumping the shark" by attempting to bring sharks into their target audience, alienating their traditional cimpanzee and wasp fanbase.
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[size=1][size=3][center][b]The Sacral Nerves - [i]Disturbance in the World[/i][/b][/size]


[b]After finishing the tour for their smashing album "[i]Not What They Crave[/i]", indie rockband [i]The Sacral Nerves[/i] went back into their studio in Glasgow to record material for a new album. The result: [i]Disturbance in the World[/i]. It is in one word: fantastic.[/b]

Their debut album already had our reviewers wondering about how the follow-up would be. We didn't know what to expect. It was highly possible that this new band had played all of their cards already. Overall, we'd be very pleased with an album around the same level of the first one.
However, [i]The Sacral Nerves[/i] pulled it off to both beat their old album, while maintaining the sound that made their first album such a grand hit.
With [i]Disturbance in the World[/i] the band has certainly established their place in the music world. Upon hearing the first, slightly hard track "[i]Anyone Else No More[/i]", it seems that the band has gone into quite a different direction, but with tracks like "[i]After I Ate It[/i]" and "[i]No Weak Nerve Nor Fear[/i]", fans can be ascertained that [i]The Sacral Nerves[/i] certainly stayed on the right path. What really turned out to be a nice surprise were the politically charged songs "[i]We Ain't Gonna Shoot[/I]" and the title song "[i]Disturbance in the World[/i]".

Buy this album or you're missing out.[/size][/center]
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[quote name='ZeitGeist']This game is addictive. I would actually love to listen to the hit song "Leaving without that Mouse!!" If only such a crazy song were real.[/QUOTE]

If you're waiting for a concert tour, no such luck, I'm afraid. List of Acanthodians was annhilated by the terrorists, who were really just fulfilling their end of the bargain. Last tima an imityator sprang up, they detained the members until they could schedule an exorcism for all 7 members.

But enough about them.

(Title of album is from a Zoey 101 quote. I thought about refreshing, then I realized that the quote is almost pure gold to match with a Middle-Eastern political party. Plus, it gives us a chance to make fun of Jamie Lynn Spears and her pregnancy. Because, y'know, she's a Spears.)

Moriah is an up-and-coming Jazz quintet. Their first album, "Both Under Dorm Arrest," deals a lot with the roots of the group's name. Indeed, it is thought that the title came from an incident involving American racism towards two arab college student inventors who walked into a classroom with their new prototype "Soda can sparkler" belts and were placed in an old, abandoned dormitory until such a time as campus authorities could determine that the belts were not, in fact, explosives, but a flashy birthday decoration.

It should be noted that unlike stereotypes may dictate, members of Moriah are peaceful as opposed to extremist. A classic example of this is track one of the aforementioned album, "Mamas, don't let your Children Grow up to be Jihadists."

They would also like to point out that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.
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[B][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]Nord-Trøndelag county municipality is a psychadelic funk/metal fusion band more noteable for their bizarre belief that the island and events depicted in the Lost television series are really happening. The lead singer, Sledo McSloshoposo, has donated millions of dollars and a lot of time in order to "find the island and rescue everybody."[/SIZE][/SIZE][/B]

Their album, titled "event sof this year" seem to allude to the recent years current events, but are actually encrypted lyrics which chronicle the events of the TV series.

They are considered one of the weirdest bands ever, mainly because they can't distinguish between fact and fiction.


Crawfordsburn are a rap duo who hail from the town of, Crawfordsburn! The pair teamed up in 1993 under record producer Sly Da Ph3ar.

They achieved mild success with their highly-charged political anthem, 'A Good Political Year' which appeared on their 1995 self-titled album.

They have not achieved hit status since, and are frequenters of the underground music scene.


Lateritic nickel ore deposits were a swedish yodelling duo who found breif fame in the early 1980's mainly because all their music videos featured Liikie, a dancing goat.

They yodeled through nine world tours, with a lot of fans showing up sporting ear plugs, obviously there simply to see a dancing goat.

Beyond the dancing goat, there is nothing too special or rememberable about Lateritic nickel ore deposits.
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[I]Colonization of Deep Space[/I] is the fifth full-length album released so far this year by the British experimental band Holum. The album has received favorable reviews so far, especially in comparison with their previous album, last week's atrocious [I]Snate Frain[/I]. Most of the tracks on [I]Deep Space[/I] are previously-unreleased songs from their live show, including the crowd favorite, "Ain't Got No More Love No More", which consists of the vocalist sneezing several times. In one interview, when asked to explain the album's cover, the band pulled blindfolds out of each other's pockets and covered their eyes with them. The trumpet player then cried for the rest of the interview.
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