Shinobi Posted September 15, 2002 Posted September 15, 2002 [i]This poem was inspired by the film Vanilla Sky[/i] [b]Break Free[/b] I want to break free From this cage concealing me Is this a dream or is this reality? Everything I see, the blue sky and sea Makes me want to break free from this cage concealing me The things I touch, the emotions I feel Are they there? Are they real? Is my mind distorting the surroundings around me? I want to break free From this cage concealing me I must...break free
Guest Nintwa Posted September 15, 2002 Posted September 15, 2002 WOW! denny, that is some neat stuff, keep up the good work! :wigout:
Avalon Posted September 17, 2002 Posted September 17, 2002 I thought it was really good...I give it a 9/10....;)
Boo Posted September 17, 2002 Posted September 17, 2002 O.O I never knew you could make something like that :D Its great!
Lady Asphyxia Posted September 21, 2002 Posted September 21, 2002 [color=blue][size=1] Very good. I'm impressed. I like it. 9/10 [/color][/size]
Mitch Posted September 21, 2002 Posted September 21, 2002 [color=red] Inspired by Vanilla Sky...that was a horrible movie...but this poem is nicely written. It has redundancy, but is able to pull it off, and the point of it is very well executed. It seems you have talent. You should write more. I give it an 8/10. Great.[/color]
Shinobi Posted September 22, 2002 Author Posted September 22, 2002 o0o! Thank you all, i agree Vanilla Sky was a load of....*stops himself* I thaught this thread was gonna become dead, but then people started replying :D, Thank you all again, this is my first serious poem, i usualy like comidic poems, i dunno why i just got a great idea when i was falling asleep at that boring movie, lol.
starlight Posted November 29, 2002 Posted November 29, 2002 OMG! Its actually serious! (j/k Shinobi) but anyways I likie very much! ^_~ my rating --> :cross: :cross: :cross: :cross: :cross: 5/5 smilies! ^_^ Keep it up! ^_~
Shinobi Posted November 29, 2002 Author Posted November 29, 2002 Heh, thanks alot, this is great, i thought i'd ressurect this as Vanilla Sky just came out on DVD adn Videa, about 2 weeks ago, over here. I hate the film, but it was the inspration for this poem. I am currently working on another poem, it shoukd be up soon. Thansk alot for all the ratings, :D great convidence boost.
Mist Posted November 30, 2002 Posted November 30, 2002 [color=crimson][size=1] It's not that it was bad; it's just I don't write rhyming poems very often, so that may be why I thought it seemed off. Other than that, though, it was great.[/color][/size]
Shinobi Posted November 30, 2002 Author Posted November 30, 2002 Thanks alot for your critique, and welcome back, i aint seen you around for a while.
AnimeAddict Posted December 11, 2002 Posted December 11, 2002 Hey that was pretty good Shinobi. A little weird though b/c I'm writing something along the lines of that... It was a little repetitive, but I give it 8/10. :)
Sky Moonflow Posted December 28, 2002 Posted December 28, 2002 A 9/10 I give that poem. Tis only one word that can describe it Inspireing.
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