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Oh Come now, can't you do better than that?


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Ah yes, the bane of all netdom kind, the Junkmail.

But what do I see, someone doing [i]research[/i] on junkmail?

[i]And[/i] its been emailed exclusively to me?


I feel special now...or something.

Sorry to bother you but I am hoping that you might be able to help me, I found your e-mail address on a chain letter that was sent to me and thought that as your name was on a chain letter you may have other chain e-mail letters (Forwards) that you could send to me?[/quote][/size]

What chainletter? [i]My[/i] email address? I'd like to see my lawyer please. Excuse me? You collect chainletters? As in, letters that say something horrible will happen to you if you don't email me (like, 'cos my friend like, just totally broke his leg in a freak accident just after he refused to email it. [size=1]The fact he was drunk and fell down a flight of stairs had nothing to do with it..)[/size]

You, want me, to send you these emails? The ones that are basically the bane of every online persons existence? How odd.
I am doing a project at college regarding the different subjects that go around the Internet on chain e-mail letters and how many people they actually reach, I would be very grateful if you could send me any that you have, absolutely anything and everything.

College? Really? [i]A project?[/i] Wow, I'm so impressed. Why yes, I'd love to send you junk email that you would have already received, after all, if you get chain letters with my email address (Two plus two make four dear), heck after sending those emails, I'll even throw in verification of my email addresses existence for free!

A word of advice though 'Jane.' You are doing a project on how many people chain letters reach, no? And you gleaned my email address from a long list of other people's addresses, why don't you just note the number of addresses in these lists?
I would also be very grateful if you would be kind enough to forward this message on to all your friends as [i][b]I need as many as I can get my hands on.[/b][/i]
*insert evil laughter here*
That's right folks! With this exciting offer, I'll not only throw in one email verification, but an entire address book!
Your help would very much be appreciated.



Jane, as in, Jane Doe?

Come now, you could have come up with a far more entertaining name. I mean, you could have at least been the wife of the President of Paraguay seeking refuge and wanting to give me a bazillion dollars or something..


This email just caught my fancy. I mean seriously, even if it was a real project, would you go around emailing off to complete strangers and requesting their junk mail?

How [i]sus[/i] is that?
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Hahaha Interesting indeed... you know, there is a site where all these chainletters are actually typed up and sent out to the unsuspecting user? Quite an intersting load they have... [url]www.forwardgarden.com[/url] has tons of them. Mindless enough as they are, those who believe that something bad will actually happen to them if they don't reply, forward, or if they delete the message are in serious need of a reality check...
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Lol, I got an e-mail like that once, but it was a long time ago, at least a year.

One e-mail that I got a long time ago, though, was quite funny. Some guy from Africa needed money to get to the US. He said he needed $20.00, and to e-mail back if I would give it to him. He also said he was rich, and would give me lots of money to help him out. Hello!? If you're so rich, buy your own airplane, you idiot. If anyone ever actually replied to that e-mail, I would personally like to track them down and smack them upside the head.

My mom has also just gotten some e-mails just a couple hours ago, saying they were Patches from Microsoft. Here's the e-mail in it's entirety:

"Dear friend , use this Internet Explorer patch now!
There are dangerous virus in the Internet now!
More than 500.000 already infected!"

Yep, that's it. It also came with the so called "patch" but my anti-virus scanned it, so I knew it was junk before I even had the displeasure of opening it. These people are total morons.
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Guest cloricus
Two laughs in one day at the expense of the dickheads that are pulling the very existence of the internet into a possible collapse because of endless torrents of **** that servers can't keep up with. (I don't like spam.)

News: [url=http://www.nzherald.co.nz/storydisplay.cfm?storyID=3518682&thesection=news&thesubsection=general]Enjoy[/url] a spammers hell!
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o.O I sent you that email..... lol. Nah. But seriously, that is pretty pathetic. Sometimes i read my junk mail. Mostly i delete it. Spam is the bane of any computer user's existence. I log into MSn and see '5 New Email Messages' ANd 4 of them are Chainletters and one is a penal enlargement offer. I dont know why i get those, thy just keep coming from diff. addresses like 'Virgil Dronzek'. I hat those. And annoying pop-up windows.
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Oh i hate forwards, i read them when im really bored just to get a laugh, one sed it had been going for 80 yrs? correct me if im wrong but i dont think the internet has been around for 80yrs. The other day i opened one saying that bill gates was doing a survey and if i sent it to 15 people i would get up to $50 000, depending on who sent it that i sent it to. lol. I really hate pop ups i might be typing away not looking then i look up and see nothing worked because of this pop up ad!! Yes that email you got is a little strange? i wonder why someone would do something like that?
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[font=gothic][color=indigo]Yeah Liam, I got that one as well. It's actually the third carbon copy of that thing I've received in the past two weeks. At least these people have the decency to mail them out one by one, rather than to 50 addresses at once...Which is as far as I'll dignify these fools. They could have at least given a convincing line and email address. Yes... [email]jbrwx@hotmail.com[/email] looks very real to me...[/font][/color]
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[color=darkgreen][font=gothic]I've recieved fifty-four of those emails in the past week. None of them were from the same address. I thought that was a big unit to be doing the assignment, or a lot of people with that hobby, or, as one person put it:

[quote]If I can collect four thousand forwarded letters in one month, my brother will give me fifty dollars[/quote]

I'm used to getting emails that promise ME money, not promise some other guy the goods. A guy with both legs in tact, too, I'm presuming...

But here are a few more classics:

[quote]Please forward me as many chain letters as you can to me, because I want to wallpaper my room with them.[/quote]

[quote]When you get a chainletter, send it to me. I like them.[/quote]

And my personal favorite...

[quote]My friend really, really hates chainletters. Here is her email address.... [/quote][/font][/color]
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[b]My friend really, really hates chainletters. Here is her email address....
[size=1]Heh, that last one was great.

Without commenting otherwise, I'm just going to say the general idea presented is something I'd be interested in. Just...you know. Subject headers, and stuff...

Sort of a different spin on a demographic survey, or something. /

I'm a dork, I know. [/size]
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I won't even give people my e-mail in general unless they promise me they won't send me nonsensical forwards, surveys, petitions and chain letters.

I spend long enough going through all the disgusting porn e-mails I somehow manage to get. On my last e-mail address I was getting like 15 a day. And it wasn't even [i]good[/i] porn. It was gross stuff like animals... with pictures :(
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[b]And it wasn't even [i]good[/i] porn.[/b]

[size=1]*quietly dies laughing*

I signed up for an email account at a German site. So the only spam I get...is in German. Thoroughly amusing.

I still haven't given my email to one of my long-time friends, simply because I know she's forward-happy. /[/size]
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[size=1] I HATE forwards and chain letters of all sorts. I see no point in them, and there a waste of my time. I used to get porno ads and credit card deals in my email account, so I had to change it...

[b] There is a child from Ghaktafugsistan that is going to have his arms and legs sawed off this week! Send this letter to 100 people in the next five minutes, and he won't some to haunt you. If you send this to 300 people in the next five minutes, your crush will kiss you! Yay![/b]
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have you gotten the one where it says that if you send the message to 15 people and click "below" you'll see christina kiss justin, 20 people and brittney will come out and slap her etc...

ive gotten it like 3 times... i hate chainletters and the people who send them to me ive never even heard of.
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[size=1][QUOTE][i]Originally posted by cloricus [/i]
[B]Two laughs in one day at the expense of the dickheads that are pulling the very existence of the internet into a possible collapse because of endless torrents of **** that servers can't keep up with. (I don't like spam.)

News: [url=http://www.nzherald.co.nz/storydisplay.cfm?storyID=3518682&thesection=news&thesubsection=general]Enjoy[/url] a spammers hell! [/B][/QUOTE]

That's hilarious . I read about him and his "pills and potions" In another local newspaper. In my opinion, he got what he deserves by making a living pissing people off.

[QUOTE]His personal information, street address and phone numbers were "plastered all over the web", he had been subscribed to a gay-dating site and his email address had been added to "tons of email lists".


Now he knows what it feels like to be subscribed to his own ****. Now he knows what it feels like to be blasted by these damn e mail lists. Karma my friends, Karma :twitch:

* a little note of interest* A spam spyware progran I didn't know I had crashed while I typed this message. Karma again. *weeds out spyware*[/size]
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This is an forward I recieved from my step-dad... MAKING FUN of chain letters.

My name is none of your business. I am suffering from seven rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being mauled by squirrels, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a potato growing out of her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll meet the girl (or guy) of my dreams tomorrow! What a bunch of junk. So basically, this message is directed to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to
send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil letter leprechauns will come into my house and write "I'm a weirdo" on my forehead in permanent marker in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by a knight of the round table and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If you're going to forward something, atleast send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forward about 90 times. It's getting old. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards.
Chain Letter Type 1(A/N: Shortened for your convience): (scroll down)

Make a wish!
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
No, I'm sorry, we're out of ponies at the time being!!
Have you forgotten why you're scrolling yet?

Wasn't that fun? :) Hope you made a great wish :)
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be kidnapped by ninja elves and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!
Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person:
One person will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people:
2-5 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people:
5-10 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people:
10-20 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain
letter and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2:
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of junk. So go on reach out.
Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly!!! Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3:
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad email addicts with nothing better to do. So this is how it works:
1. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story* #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was ushed down a drainpipe in a flood of rotted leaves, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died too. This Could Happen To You!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story* 2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was crushed by an anvil that was dropped by a plane that just happened to be flying directly above him. This Could Happen To You Too!!!
2. Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Blah, Blah, Blah,
Blah, Blah, Blah.

A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, no one will like you for as long as you live. I mean it, as long as you live.

The point being?
*If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you friendless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
*If it's funny, send it on. Don't annoy people by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only chance of living is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right.
*******Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find all your socks missing tomorrow morning! [/B][/QUOTE]
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Baron Samedi [/i]
[B]o.O I sent you that email..... lol. Nah. But seriously, that is pretty pathetic. Sometimes i read my junk mail. Mostly i delete it. Spam is the bane of any computer user's existence. I log into MSn and see '5 New Email Messages' ANd 4 of them are Chainletters and one is a penal enlargement offer. I dont know why i get those, thy just keep coming from diff. addresses like 'Virgil Dronzek'. I hat those. And annoying pop-up windows. [/B][/QUOTE]

hahaha!You know what's even funnier?My grandma gets those exact e-mails! Yeah,I'm sure my grandma is going to want your stuff.She doesn't check her e-mail ask frequently as me so I went on for her one time.She had like 200 e-mails and 175 of them were junk mail.Most of the junk mail was the same junk mail from the same ppl over and over.She goes on every couple days now so she won't have such a large amount of junk mail to delete at once.It was crazy.Ppl who are paid to send out junk mail need a life.I know it's my dream career.:nope:
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LOL Bandit Joeykuba you're step dad is funny! *Ahem* Okay back to the subject. I really HATE chainletters and junk mail! i mean my friends have friends who love chainletters so after they're sent to my friends they're sent to me. Whoop de do, Oh happy days, now my inbox is loaded(since they're my friends the chainletters go to straight to my inbox) with pointless waste of energy and if I don't respond I'll be run over by a 18wheeler truck. And then I tell my friends that I don't respond to chainletters and they send some more anyway. *sigh*
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The only type of chain mail that I enjoy are those "personal survey" ones...that ask you a bunch of questions and you send out to your friends? I love those things... ^_^;; They're so much fun to fill out. Though I've stopped sending them to friends...I post them on my DJ instead. -nods-

If anyone has one they'd like to add to my collection, feel free to PM it to me. I haven't gotten one in a while.
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*wipes tears from eyes* *in IRL too* Bandit Joeykuba...... That is a seriously funny letter. I had to stop halfway through, and take a breath. God that is funny. RPCrazy, i like those Surevy ones as well. Also, does anyone get thoe 'Dental Plans' spam as well? also another note- those enlargement things i get are called like ^}*/Bigg*^&inda/bedroom; and ma;:ke ur.<>>woman**-/happy . I mean, who would read those anyway. Sounds like Transtic doesnt need to though. lol. If you dont know what i mean, go to the OB Quiz thread. *points*
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Hehe I got a cahin letter! And if I don't send it out something bad will happen so if a don]t post again beacause a saty bolwing ball falls out of a window of a 4 story bowling ally and I can't draw or wpost again because my hands are crushed you know why. Well anyway here's the letter...oh it seems my love life will also be smashed. Mabey my "lover" *note I have no love intrest right now* will be hit on the head wit the bolwing ball and die. How Tragic! LOL Anyway hears the letter

CASE 1: Kelly Sedey had one wish, for her
boyfriend of three years, David Marsden, to propose to
her. Then one day when she was out to lunch David
proposed! She accepted, but then had to leave because
she had a meeting in 20 min. When she got to her
office, she noticed on
her computer she had e-mail. She checked it, the usual
stuff from her friends, but then she saw one that she
had never gotten before. It was this letter. She
simply deleted it without even reading all of it. BIG
Later that evening, she received a phone call from the
police. It was about DAVID! He had been in an accident
with an 18 wheeler. He didn't survive.

CASE 2: Take Katie Robbenson.
She received this letter and being the believer that
she was, she sent it to a few of her friends but
didn't have enough e-mail addresses to send out the
full 10 that you must. Three days later, Katie went to
a masquerade ball. Later that night when she left to
get to her car to go home, she was killed
on the spot by a hit-and-run drunk driver.

CASE 3: Richard S. Willis sent this letter out within
45 minutes of reading it. Not even 4 hours later
walking along the street to his new job interview with
a really big company, when he ran into Cynthia Bell,
his secret love for 5 years. Cynthia came up to him
and told him of her passionate crush on him
that she had had on him for 2 years. Three days later,
proposed to her and they got married. Cynthia and
Richard are still married with three children, happy
as ever!

This is the letter:

Around the corner I have a friend, In this great city
that has no end, Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone. And I never see
my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race, He knows I like
him just as well, As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine if,
we were younger then, And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game, Tired of trying to
make a name. Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of him." But
tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, And distance between
us grows and grows. Around the corner! Yet miles
away, "Here's a telegram sir" "Jim died today." And
that's what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend. Remember to
always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell

Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and
tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you
decide that it is the right time it might be too late.

Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most
importantly, stay
close to your friends and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.

You must send this on in 3 hours after reading the
to 10 different people.

If you do this, you will receive unbelievably good
luck in love. The person that you are most attracted
to will soon return your feelings.

If you do not, bad luck will rear it's ugly head at


You have read the warnings, seen the cases, and the
You MUST send this on or face dreadfully bad luck.
*NOTE* The more people that you send this to, the
better luck you will have.
Yes well ahem quite a load of s**t, ne? Yeah well I guess I better watch my self around 4 story bowling allyes.LOL
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I loathe chain letters and delight in replying to all people and telling them just how stupid they are if they listen to it. I got one of those collect chain things too:

can u please foward all chain letters to me? coz i collect them..


How did she get my email?
BTW Bandit Joeykuba nice.
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