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OtakuBoards and the Holy OtakuBot [rated PG-13 for language and suggestive themes]


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If anyone else can think up a better name than this, I'll be glad to take it. lol

Anyway, I've been wanting to start up an RPG for a while, but I lacked the inspiration...then, when I watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the millionth time, it hit me! Medieval, humor RPGs based off of movies made in the 1970s are a rare commodity these days!

Before everyone rushes off to sign up for the RPG (yes, I know you can't wait :p) know that I'm looking for above average writing and [b]humor.[/b] While this is not a serious RPG, I do not wish to see pure, unrelated insanity in the posts. PoisonTongue has mentioned "genre grounding" quite often, and I feel it's important to note what genre grounding is. Genre grounding is the idea of action, dialogue, and description that makes sense with the source material. Simply put, please keep posts in accordance with the style of Monty Python (that is, satire with purpose). Obviously, experience with the Monty Python style of comedy and satire is a must.

I expect to include about five or six other people besides myself in this...we'll see how it goes with the signups and stuff. I figure about a week should be enough for the signups, heh. And, without further ado, the information about the RPG:

Story: It is in the Middle Ages when the successor to King James's Holy Otaku Kingdom, [silly British accent]King Shinmaru John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt III esq[/silly British accent] (or King Shinny to his pals) is charged by [strike]James[/strike] God to find and retreive the Holy OtakuBot for the Holy Kingdom. For, without the blessed OtakuBot, we shall have no clue as to whether or not King James drank coffee! Oh horror of horrors!

However, Shinny knows that he can not complete this arduous task on his own...he knows that he must gather members for his group: The Knights of the Formerly Square Table that is only Round because some of the Edges got Filed Down (uh...for purposes of this story, it can be a round table if you want). For people to join the "round" table, they must prove themselves worthy by being funny enough people to join Shinmaru's RPG!

I mean...uh...do a difficult array of tasks to prove their worthiness to the king. Yeah, that's what I was going for.

But all is not well in the Kingdom of James...for the evil Baron von French Guy is trying to steal the Holy OtakuBot for his own evil...French...stuff. Plus, he has a silly accent, so you know he's dangerous. Come on, work with me, people. Anyway, Baron von French Guy wants the Holy OtakuBot to do devious French related activities with it. Do you want him to steal what is rightfully yours?! Of course not! Silly American (and, if you're not American, you're still silly - so there)!

It is up to Shinny and his band of Merry Men (or Women if you're PC) to stop this evil French guy with a silly accent and retrieve the Holy OtakuBot! What's that, you say? [spoiler]King Arthur never got the Holy Grail in Monty Python?![/spoiler] Well, screw you; this is my RPG :p

And that's the basic story. Obviously, since this is heavily humor related, I'd rather the story be mostly built through the posts. Forces people to think on their toes, heh.

Now for the sign-ups...know that I will be basing entry into this RPG on the sign-ups, so I encourage people to make them as creative and humorous as humanly possible. You don't have to be totally outrageous with what you put down, as long as it's funny. Also, all of the characters in this story will be [b]original characters,[/b] unless you sign up as Baron von French Guy. If you sign up as him, you'll be thinking up your own backstory and stuff for him, still; I only thought up the name :p Now, for my sign-up:

Name: [silly British accent]King Shinmaru John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt III esq[/silly British accent] (or King Shinny to his pals)

Age: 35 (old in the Middle Ages. lol)

Weapon(only something used in the Middle Ages like short swords, broadswords, bows & arrows, etc.): Broadsword

Appearance (picture or you can just describe them): The King would look like me, I suppose...except much, much whiter lol. He's tall and decently built, with a scruffy, kingly beard that the ladies can't resist (although, once they marry him, they beg him to shave it off, much to his annoyance). Shinny is always dressed in kingly armor, which is to say mithril armor with the Holy Crest of the Otaku Kingdom (a cup of coffee). So yeah...just imagine me like that. lol

Bio: King Shinny was born into the very breadth of royalty; indeed, it was known all his life that he would become king. But, how were the people to know that he would be such a crappy king? Indeed, throughout the reign of Shinny, jobs are at an all-time low (people can't even find a decent job scooping up crap anymore) and teenagey depression is at an all-time high.

However, King Shinny knows that he can not stand idly by and let all this happen while he pokes people with his royal scepter. Well, actually, he didn't know until God interrupted a sweet dream he was having about swimming in tons of gold and stuff. God charged Shinny with neglecting his kingdom and failing the ideals of his religion. Shinny shot back that he "didn't want anything to do with that fruity religious crap" and "religion is for geeks, anyway." Of course, this pissed the hell out of God and he booted Shinny out of the kingdom.

Shinny was very pissed, but soon realized the error of his way when he was forced to work a 9-5 job scooping crap with the old people. So, after a long, angsty walk in the woods while being mauled by angry wolves, God saved Shinny and asked if he wanted to fulfill his Holy Mission. Shinny asked why someone else hadn't taken the job and God answered "What the hell do you care, jackass? I'm trying to save your damned soul here." That is when Shinny finally agree to go on the "damned stupid Holy Adventure thingy."

It is at this juncture in which King Shinny has set off on his adventure, despite God having never told him what the hell he is going after. However, Shinny noticed that the Holy OtakuBot was missing from the side of his bed and decided to retrieve that instead. After all, it had the word 'holy' in it; God should be happy to get it back. So, Shinny wanders through the forests, seeking [strike]suckers[/strike] strong adventures to travel with him. And, who knows? He may just find people stupid enough to do it :p
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[SIZE=1][B]I'll try this.... I'm not really a funny person around OB, but I can be... and what's with the SILLY british accent? C'mon where not all that stupid!... Half of the country is but...
Do I get to use my real name? =)

[I]Name: Vicky (Also known as Kibble for some odd reason) A.K.A Sticky Vicky A.K.A Vicster or Vic

Age: 19

Weapons: Short swords (Only because I'm short and it makes me feel special)

Appearance: Small... yeah, you heard me... SMALL. Not that small but pretty short for the age of 19. A really funny hat on her head with two red feathers, and long blonde hair going down to her shoulders(Kinda like me). A red shirt over some chainmail and normal black pants. Also her eyes are green when she's normal, brown when mad and blue when she's being a complete and total idiot (most of the time really). And before you ask my character is NOT a Midget... blah...

Bio: Sticky's... I mean Vicky's family is not what you call rich, but more of the "Who gives a damn?" type. Her father though was a guy who chopped trees down, and was killed when a man forgot to shout "Timber!" when a tree fell down. People say the death of her father was because the other guy had a swore throat and wasn't well enough to shout timber. Anyway, her mother on the other hand didn't give a damn, so Vicky went out and said she was going on a grand quest, and came back two hours later saying she might get lost.

She met this guy who sold fake swords for a living. This guy gave her a real Short Sword and told her to keep it. And never the less, it WAS real! Anyway, Vicky decided to use it, and began to train herself, most of the time giving up. One day a boy said that the short sword was right for her because they where both small. Vicky didn't get pissed, but she did kill the boy.

After a few years Vicky was 12 years old and one day went for a walk. She met another guy who told her to follow him, and Vicky said no to him, but the guy told her he gives out spaking's for kids who disobey him. Later Vicky found out this guy was a great swords master, and he agreed to train her if she would give him a peanut a day (where peanut's invented then?).

After a few more years, when Vic was 15 she decided to go live on her own. Well all she really wanted to do was piss her mother off. Anyway, she couldn't rent a house or anything because they said no kids allowed, but hell she was old enough! So she decided the world was too big for her, and went home, then her mum pissed her off again so she left. So, now Vic decided to wonder the woods, and maybe meet some idiots worth stealng from or find some sucker who'll teach people things for peanuts. What's the likely-ness of that? Very high if you include English folk.[/I]

Yes... I have the guts to laugh at my own home... England... bleh![/SIZE][/B]
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Name: The Evil Baron Von French Guy (TM)

Age: 175 in dog years

.........Age? Okay, 25

Weapons: Frenchocity, a saber

Appearance: Tall and sklender, dressed entirely in white. Has oily black hair and an obnoxious mustache. Wears no armor, because he never fights. Has a nice pair of Ye Olde Addidas for high-tailing it when things get a little rough.

Bio: Bob was just an average man until he went walking out near the pond one night. Bitten by a cursed frog, Bob was transformed into the one thing he loathed most of all: a horribly stereotyped Frenchman.

The Cursed Bob, now known as the Evil Baron Von French Guy (TM), spent years searching for a cure for his condition, only to find that Ye Olde Library expects those books back. Driven to the brink of bankruptcy by outrageous library fines, EBVFG (TM)became even more twisted and French.

Hearing of the Holy Otakubot, EBVFG (TM) has devised a plan to return him to his natural state. Unfortunatly, the downside is that the entire Holy Otaku Kingdom would take on the Curse of the Frog in his stead and become horrible French stereotypes themselves. However, EBVFG (TM) is too French to really care.

I mean, he's really, really French. Remember that obnoxious French guy in The Matrix sequels? He's even Frenchier than that. I don't think you quite understand just how French he is...

Anyway...EBVFG (TM) employs a gang of Mimes, Poodles and Frogs as his evil henchmen...
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[size=1]<_> this will be fun, if I'm funny enough to get in.
Name: KKC, The Scotish Fool of England

Age: 15

Weapon: 30 small throwing knives (Like... each one is 6 or 7 inches long)

Appearance: She has blue eyes and freekishly short blond hair (usually is mistaken for a guy). She wears a Black tunic with Leather armor crossed all across it making it look like she... doesn't have....a chest. In between the crossing armor she holds a dollar, each dollar represents everything she has ever done for a dollar. She has a large leaf Cape (Leaves stuck together somehow) and white gloves that go up to her elbos.
She also wears a Purple kilt (yes, purple) with one of the gold things that is on the front of the kilt (I'm not a damn Scot, so I wouldn't know what the hell it is called). Instead of wearing incredibly high socks like most scots, she wears really tall steal/metal boots. She is about 5'6, which makes her kinda short, but kinda not short. No one knows what she wears under her kilt. KKC holds all of her daggers around her chest, arms, and legs, so that she can reach them quickly.

Bio: KKC is a Scotish Imigrant from Scotland (not Ireland). She "Migrated" when she was 7 years old because she didn't want to become a Poops Smith like her 13 fathers and mothers before her. How could a 7 year old pay for a trip to England with no money? Well, the fee was only a dollar, so It didn't take very long for her to get a dollar, Scotish people can be such saps at times.

So, once arriving in England, she tried to find the perfect job for herself, she searched and searched until she finally found the job of becoming a Poops Smith. After being a Poops Smith till she was 11, she decided to become a pieceful person of the forest who in slaved animals and forced them to clean houses for her, but that didn't work out so well, so she became King Shinny's fool. How did she become King Shinny's fool, Let's just say it included another dollar.
After being laughed at, more for being Scotish then telling jokes, she was taught by someone who called himself a "Mexican" how to forge metal into sharp pointy objects and throw darts so that everytime she threw a dart it hit the bule's eye (literally).

Eventually, still being the Fool of King Shinny, she forged thirty small dagger/knifes and used them as tricks during her performances. She has only killed 3 knights of the oval table while doing these stunts.
She is loyal to Shinny, even though he makes fun of her scotish-ness. She will do anything for a dollar. [/size]
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[font=tahoma][color=#707875][b]Name:[/b] Sir Garin Gorin Griffin-Gobbledegook or just Sir Garin Gobbles

[b]Age:[/b] 28

[b]Weapon:[/b] Here we go [b]The Flatulent Walrus[/b] [img]http://www.by-the-sword.com/acatalog/images/uc1299a.jpg[/img]

[b]Appearance:[/b] Longish dark brown hair that reaches down passed his ears, which sometimes comes down over his eyes at the most inopportune times. The times include when he is fighting or doing mostly anything of importance as well as a nice little brush moustache. He has dark, watery blue eyes that have a twinkle that some girls just can't resist. He dons the usual Otaku Kingdom armour, shining armour with the Holy Crest of the Cup of Coffee on the front.

[b]Biography:[/b] Sir Gobbles was one King Shinny's most loyal and able Knights of his [b]"Used to be square but is now has it's edges taken off table"[/b]. One night after getting severely inebriated and tossing several women accused of witchcraft into the local pond so see whether or not the floated he unfortunately fell on top of one of the carts used to take away people who had died.

The next morning he had woken up far away from where he had fallen asleep in a village where usage for said cart was quite regular. Sitting up he was asked for "nine pence" for being dead. "I'm not dead" replied Gobbles, "Yes you are, if you weren't dead then you wouldn't be on this cart, ergo you have to be dead" was the Cart Keeper's response. So for about the next week Garin had to put up with being pushed around in a cart full of dead people.

Luckily for Garin he was able to slip of the cart when a stray arrow from a despondent Prince hit the Cart Keeper and killed him, or at least fatally wounded him but was then hit by a wooden badger....

It was later that night that he met up King Shinny, got drunk [again] and as per usual with every time he gets drunk he ends up doing something completely and utterly stupid, this time he has made his worst one yet and decided to join with King Shinny on another adventure...[/color][/font]
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[COLOR=green][B]Name[/B]: Jedgar Nieta the seventy-third, heir to the sacred chalice of Porcelain and guardian of the rings of teething.

[B]Age[/B]: 20-ish

[B]Weapon[/B]: The Widowmaker


[B]Appearance[/B]: [IMG]http://www.crimsongypsy.com/images/cloak4thm.jpg[/IMG]

[B]Biography[/B]: Jedgar is the firstborn son of a nobleman, who died shortly before he was born, and as a result inherited all of his father?s possessions as soon as he turned eighteen. Unfortunately for him, he became a drunk almost as soon as he finished his schooling. As a result of his continual drinking, he has no money left due to a combination of expensive wine and ?friends? who took advantage of him while he was drunk.

After spending the last year as a wandering drunk, he has settled in the Palace of King Shinny. Jedgar, being drunk all the time, doesn?t know that he?s in a palace. Nor would he care if he knew. All he does care about is the free spirits that are available in the great hall. Actually, that?s not true. Jedgar also harbors a huge crush on the King?s fool. However, you didn?t hear that from me.

He hangs out in the great hall during the day, and retires to an unused cupboard under the spiral stairway that leads to the northwest tower of the palace. There he usually falls into a deep sleep filled with dreams about having enough money to buy his own vineyard.

-Boba Fett[/COLOR]
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[b]Name:[/b] Braddock The Welsh

[b]Age:[/b] 20

[b]Weapon:[/b] The Bow of Unpronouncing-ness. Plus an assortment of arrows.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Has long, back hair that covers his eyes. Not exactly a good idea, considering he's an archer. Because of his hair and height, people often mistake him for a little girl. He is also quite frail and tends to exhaust very quickly. He wears a lime-green tunic, mostly because the last chainmail armor he wore pinned him to the ground for a full fortnight. Partially because he's fond of the color lime, for some reason.

[b]Bio:[/b] Braddock comes from the far, distant land of Wales. You know, just a couple of kilometers that-a way. No, West. No, you've gone too far when you reach Ireland. It's that small patch of-- yes that's a country! You can tell, because even the British think they sound funny.
Upon reaching the age of 15, Braddock's parents sent him off to find a better life in a better country. So he moved to Otaku Kingdom. There, he became one of the most famous archers the country had ever heard of. Not because he had good aim. Heavens, no. But because he made the best kabab and omlettes this side of Eden.
For a brief period of time, Braddock served as a chef and soldier for The Knights Who Say "Mmm, That's Good Omlette." He also helped name them. However, shortly after someone switched his basil seasoning with Highly Poisonous brand poison powder, the Knights Who Say "Mmm, That's Good Omlette" died of unknown causes.
Braddock wants to join the Knights of the Formerly Square Table that is only Round because some of the Edges got Filed Down so that his skills as a chef may one day improve. Also, he wants to prove he can fight. It comes with the job, you know.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Shinmaru [/i]
[B] Of course, this pissed the hell out of God and he booted Shinny out of the kingdom.[/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=firebrick]Please excuse me whilst I step out of the room and laugh hysterically.


Okay, let's see.

[b]Name:[/b] Noel(le) the Minstrel/Actor/Bard Person
[b]Age:[/b] 17
[b]Weapon:[/b] Various musical instruments, all of which are surprisingly resiliant. Kept in a sack across his (her) back.
[b]Appearance:[/b] About five and a half feet tall, thick dark hair. Slight figure, but agile. Wears colorful clothes.
[b]Biography:[/b] Noelle fell prey to extreme teen angst at the age of fourteen, when she learned she was betrothed (and three days away from her wedding) to Sir Decrepid, an aging knight. Her exact words were "Screw this."

An avid fan of Shakespeare, she decided to run away and join the [strike]circus[/strike] performing troupe that was in town at the time. Unfortunately, no one told her beforehand that girls weren't allowed to be...anything, really. Fortunately, she was a quick thinker.

"Hullo, my name's Nöelle, and--"

"Nöelle?" the troupe leader interuppted. " 'at's a [i]girl's[/i] name!" He sneered. "[i]Girls[/i] can't join up, naow."

Nöelle blinked. "Nöelle? No, no, my name's [i]Noel[/i]. Everyone always gets that wrong!"

The man's eyes narrowed. "I t'ought yih said [i]Nöelle.[/i]"

"Why 'ould I say [i]Nöelle[/i] when meh name's [i]Noel[/i]?" Nöelle asked reasonably, adopting a horrible accent.

"I 'on' know. Yih might be a [i]girl[/i] tryin' to join up. 'e can't have that, yih know."

A second man frowned at her. "I though 'e said [i]Nöelle[/i], too."

"No, I didn't," Nöelle said firmly. "Meh name's [i]Noel.[/i] 'sides...[i]Nöelle[/i] is French."

Both men made the Sign of the Coffeecup on their chests.

" And if you [i]don't[/i] let meh in, you'll get i' trouble fer taking on a French girl. Don't you know we're at [i]war[/i] with the French?"

"No, we aren't!" said the first man.

"We're [i]always[/i] at war with the French," Nöelle said quickly.

The second man pointed a clumsy finger. "I thought [i]you[/i] were Nöelle," he said slowly.

"No," Noëlle said easily, "I'm [i]Noel.[/i] But we'd better [i]hurry[/i] before Nöelle comes and yih both get in trouble fer consortin' wi' teh enemy."

Yes, it was true. Much to Nöelle's childhood chagrin, her family was French. Largely because of this flaw, she grew up hating herself. However, upon running away she discovered that she didn't really need to hate herself...it wasn't [i]her[/i] fault she hd been born to her stupid French parents. She decided to hate her family instead, which due to the betrothal to Sir Decrepid was pretty easy.

Noel[strike]le[/strike] spent the next few years of her life with the performing troupe, most of whom (while not exceptionally bright) were good people. She learned to play several intruments (none of them especially well, although she was decent at the bass flute) and developed the rather annoying habit of sporadically speaking in verse.

She named her flute Fauntleroy, and it is her trustiest weapon. She is still prone to occasional fits of teen angst.

*laughs softly* That was really fun.[/COLOR]
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[B]Name:[/B] Ishap the Wizard of Mishap

[B]Age:[/B] 9

[B]Weapon:[/B] A magic crystal ball. (trust me, you'll see)

[B]Appearance:[/B] [img]http://www.educationsense.com/events/2002/camp/images/wizard.jpg[/img]
(He really is 9, just wait and keep reading)

[B]Bio:[/B] Ishap spent the first few years of his life in an orphanage. He was left at the doorstep like the other orphans at the Drop-em-on-our-Doorstep-in-a-Basket Orphanage. Unfortunately, his parents had left a haunch of raw cow as a parting gift. "Just in case he gets hungry." his father had remarked solemnly.

The wolves in the nearby forest certainly enjoyed the cow meat, and Ishap too! He was swallowed whole. Fortunately, the same hunter who saved Little Red Riding Hood came by and, since he was in such a wolf-cutting mood, chopped the wolves open and set Ishap free!

Walking to the Orphanage, the Hunter tripped and dropped Ishap on the ground. Several times. He eventually made it to the wooden doorsteps, which promptly collapsed ocne he reached the top. Ishap landed on his crotch. Cursing the unlucky child, the hunter threw the baby at the door. The door opened at that very minute and Ishap sailed through. He landed amidst a crowd of little toddlers who had just fallen asleep. Screaming commenced.

Years later, it was discovered that Ishap's parents had actually been cursed by an evil wizard named Random, but his curse turned out to be of the exclusively hereditary variety. Only Ishap was affected. The orphanage kicked him out at the age of 5.

By some weird twist of fate, Ishap wound up stumbling upon Random, and was adopted by him. Random recognized that Ishap had magic within him, but didn't know that it was the result of his own curse. He decided to teach Ishap with his book, entitled [I]Magic&Stuff.[/I]

When Ishap turned 9, Random decided to give him a special present. He would rid Ishap of his lifelong misfortune! Sadly, his magic went all wacky and weird, and instead of Ishap losing all of his curse, he gained all of Random's powers! And his aged looks as well! Random turned into a six-sided die, and Ishap left, aged and magic-ful.


That was the longest Bio I [I]ever[/I] posted. It also took me longer than any other to [I]write.[/I] :p
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[color=indigo][i][size=1][b]Oh, I have to give this one a shot. I rolled with laughter..

Name[/b]- Sir Annsie of the Shrubbery (Sir Annsie)

[b]Age[/b]- 26

[b]Weapon[/b]- Various assortments of gardening tools that are carried in a brown leather napsack. Tools such as hedgeclippers, weeding hoes, small shovels, one large shovel, etc.

[b]Appearance[/b]- Annsie stands at 5'2, she weighs 115lbs, long brown hair, green eyes, tanned skin. She wears a form-fitting metal breast plate, a red and black plaid kilt, the sash wraps around her upper body. The kilt hangs on her hip bones and is very short. What does she wear for foot protection? Tight, brown leather boots that come up to her thighs.

[b]Bio[/b]- (I hate writing these) You are probably wondering why Annsie is dubbed "[b]Sir[/b] Annsie of the Shrubbery". Aren't you supposed to be a male to attain the "Sir" title? Yes.......you are [b]supposed[/b] to be male. Okay, I guess I'm going to have do some explaining. Well, once apon a time..okay, wrong story. *clears throat* Right, Annsie grew up in the prosperous town of [b]Shrubs 'R' Us[/b](why did I bold that? Cuz...it's..funny), where the town prospered in producing...shrubberies..*dramatic music...and the old woman faints*

At the age of 15, Annsie was assigned to make a rather large, nice, enexpensive, and pretty shrubbery for a man known as King Arthur, do you know him?...Well, he was in a rush, so Annsie didn't get enough..information...yes..information on this "King". But she did overhear him talking to his little friend about getting the shrubbery before they were reduced to cutting down trees with herings.

Anyway, the shrubbery went great and "King Arthur'' was so impressed, he dubbed her "Sir Annsie of the Shrubbery". Annsie was confused on how she, being a female, was dubbed a "Sir". But, oh well, she continued to make shrubberies until one day..when no one...wanted...SHRUBBERIES!! *dramatic music...old woman faints*

So, in hopes of finding a job, Sir Annsie packed up her tools and headed for Otaku Kingdom. On her way, she ran into many knights of weird assorts, and they demanded shrubberies or be stricken down with fish. After making the shrubberies, Sir Annsie made her way into England. There, she met a man named [silly british accent] King Shinmaru John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt III esq[/silly british accent]. He and his group of merry men/women were on a holy mission quest thing for an Otakubot..she had no clue, but offered her help...though, she wasn't quite sure on what use she would be. *dramatic music* Thus begins the peril journey to save....*drum roll*.......I don't know...*clash of symbols, dramatic music out*[/color][/i][/size]
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Name: Sir Lance-"Sorry I stole your Queen"quite-a-bit

Age: 27

Weapon: His devastating allure to the opposite sex (and possibly the same if you like that sort of thing ^_~) Oh yeah he also has a broad sword.

Appearance: (seriously do my characters ever look any different?) Long dark hair always tied back, thin goatee beard and grey eyes. Medium build at about 5ft 7. He wears chainmail, like most knights with the tabard over the top.

Bio: Lance-quite-a-bit, or Lance for the sake of shortness, is known throughout the land as the lady charmer, wife wooer and queen stealer all need to watch out for. As a young boy he was always in the haystacks helping the local girls "find their needles" as it were. As he grew older, his taste broadened and he set out with his trusty squire in search of new maidens.

Having only managed to avoid death for herasy by fleeing many countries he has now foundhimself here, in the Otaku Kingdom. As he journeyed from castle to castle, searching for new wives to steal he heard word of a great adventure/quest/thing to find the holy Otakubot. Intreuged he endeavoured to seek out this strange King Shinny and join him on this quest, for he had heard tales of "virtuous" women seeking aid and saw it has his duty to help them. If he managed to find the Otakubot along the way then so be it. Kings were always very generous with their rewards afterall ^_~.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Ben [/i]
[B] cursed by an evil wizard named Random,[/B][/QUOTE] [SIZE=1]"I was cursed by a wizard named Random" is still one of my favorite quotes.

[b]Sir Lance-"Sorry I stole your Queen"quite-a-bit[/b] is another thing that sent me into laughter. Heh.[/SIZE]
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Haha. I will be getting a lot of Python videos out soon, so we'll see... hope I get in.

Name: The Good Baron Who Isn't French Or Even Knows One IX.

Age: Between 15 and 16. You know the kind of age where they're always whinging and complaining and being sulky? Thats it.

Appearance: Feeble, weak, unappealing. Pockmarked face, red rimmed eyes from too much drinking. He also has a luxurious beard... consisting of a few hairs on his chinny-chin-chin. When wearing his armour, he uses crutches to get around. His legs are too spindly to support his wait with it on. His armour has a French flag emblazoned on it, with a big [BANNED] symbol over it.

Bio: The Good Baron Who Isn't French Or Even Knows One IX's birth was celebrated throughout the duchy of Theirhouseistheircastle. Finally there was a son. Now the insane baron could be disposed of for good. He was going through the carpets at a ghastly rate. So, they caught him, skinned him, cooked him, seasoned him and fed him to his son for the son's third birthday.

The Good Baron Who Isn't French Or Even Knows One IX didn't have a normal life. His mother was always coddling him, and as such, he didn't learn to walk until the age of ten. His limbs are weak, his face is feeble and he is gerneally unappealing. His mother finally died one evening, turning blue at the dinner table and suffocating. He was free. He went all out, and is now a depressed alcoholic looking for solace on an adventure.
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[color=003333][size=1]Oh I gotta try and get into this.
[b]Name:[/b] Richard of The Order of The Knights that until formerly said Ni

[b]Age:[/b] 22

[b]Weapon:[/b] Ni!

[b]Appearance:[/b] Clad in a black robe with an extremely ugly helmet. Brown eyes. A stuble of facial hair. He has absolutely no undergarments under his robe and is prone to the occasional cold draft.

[b]Bio:[/b] He was young when the Knights of Ni bore him from their vivacious haunches, Ni!. He spilled onto the ground like a little tomato that had just happened to fall from the basket and explode on the floor. He cried out 'Ni! Ni!' until someone picked him up and shook him like all Knights of Ni do to their children. He quieted at once, smiling and happy from the brain damage, Ni!.

He grew into a wonderful knight and actually helped in the constant study of the beautiful Norwegian Blue parrot. Unfortunately many of them died... But damn did they look beautiful... Wonderful plumage... It was a mystery to every knight how the parrots got from Norway to... Wherever the hell they were, Ni!.

As with a normal adolecent, he went ont he normal rampages of terrorizing old women with his inherant ability to terrorize old women with his use of the word Ni!, Ni!. He got a good many shrubberies from the wonderful grower of shrubberies Sir Annsie, a wonderful but slightly confused woman having the whole 'sir' thing and all. Particullarly beautiful was the shrubbery they recieved from King Arthur, tough a pity it was he didn't cut down the trees with a herring, Ni!...

Sad times befell the Knights of Ni when their Arthur Shrub was decimated by the shithead police, Ni!! They tracked them down and burned them for the witches they were, for they floated and burned well like wood. Richard did the fishdance with a herring, Ni!.

Anyway, he journyed to the Holy Otaku Kingdom to offer his services to King Shinny, the poor replacement for King James, in return for a few herrings and shurbberies. What better is there to do, Ni!?[/size][/color]
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Name: Mr.........................................

Age: 20

Weapon: A fork of high pitch-ness

Appearance: He has a Skeletor-like outfit, except his face is covered in black face paint, to make him look cool. his cape is yellow with red stripes. Once was mistaken for a picnic cloth when he left it on the ground.

Bio: Mr...etc.'s birth was not known, or really cared about. They just said he was twenty and walked away to chase chickens...or whatever they did. Mr was treated*or ignored* like a commonsfolk, therefore, he acted and eventually became a commonsfolk, for all his days.

There was a distress call from the Unholy Nerd Kingdom, and taking it upon himself, Mr went to the scene. Their princess was captured to a castle on the horizon. He trekked for weeks untill he made it to the castle. Unfortunately, with his arrival, a miget greeted him with them dirty words...

"Sorry, but the princess is in another castle."

Mr didn't like the miget, so he kicked him and made slow trek home. Along the way he was captured into a huge bag, and was brought to the Holy Otaku Kingdom. Then, he was let out...with a small fee.

Since he had no clue where to go, he decided to help out the urgentcy among the kingdom, but not untill he was done chasing chickens...
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[size=1] [b]Name:[/b] Mallory Stipend-ed. Or Mally. Pronounced like 'Molly' but with a 'z'.

[b]Age:[/b] 21.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Long black cloak that isn't that long because it stops at my stomach, and beneath is another black cloak-thing that drags around me feet. And Link's hat. Oh yes. My dear, sweet hat. *grins stupidly* Yes...

Shoulder-length, black hair with side bangs. [brown eyes]

[b]Weapon:[/b] Link's hat. Duh.

[b]Bio:[/b] Mally was born wherever Hitler is soon to be conceived and was raised on a quaint farm that breeded chickens. Oh, the chickens. There were blue chickens. Red chickens. Yellow chickens. Gold chickens. Hoho. Those gold chickens were hard to come by. Yess-iry! And Silver Chickens! Pikachus and Charmandors galore! It was a nice life. Unfortunately for Mallory Stipend-ed, she was always follwed by a camera and a overweight man wearing striped shirts [vertical shirts would have been more slimming, you see.] and a strange logo that she always saw in the corner of her eyes. Hm. MTV was it? I'm not sure.

When Mally became 12, her parents locked her in the basement to avoid the disease of puberti-ness-tess-es-influenza.

At the age of 18, her parents reluctantly let her out to see that Mally had mutated and combined with the golden chicken, and often got clunked on the head by its beak. She spent the next year laying in the corner making clunking sounds while her foot twitched at odd moments. Mally cried and decided to devote her whole life to zee God of the Heavens and prayed to him eeeevery night! However, God rejected her because of the golden chicken stuck in her head. God has, like, a like, MAJOR problem with, like, CHICKENS! Geez. *twirls fake blonde hair*

Mally finally got depressed enough, so she took a rusty old axe, and tried to kill herself. Unfortunately, the axe got stuck in her neck and a rattling noise sounded whenever she breathed, which was not very often. How can she live without breathing very often, you ask? *punches you*

So Mally went out into the village and arrived at the local doctor. He locked her in a cage and sold her to freak circus. He is not a nice doctor.

For the next month, Mally was stuck in a cage with a ferocious tiger that occasionally nipped at her chicken. Mally wasn't smelling too good; the chicken had died and it was starting to rot. Nonetheless, Mally prayed to Satan that if he took away all the embedded chicken and axe, she would sell the soul of her chicken PLUS her parents and if you call in the NEXT FIVE MINUTES, you'll recieve a free HELL'S FIRE IN A BOTTLE! [do-do-do-do-doooO!]. Satan thought it was good deal and did a good deed, giving Mally a Link's hat in the process. Mally escaped the cage [after lodging the dead chicken and rusty axe in that stupid tiger's throat] and found a nice, blubber-filled walrus to use as transportation. How Mally found a walrus, no one knows. If you can find worm-infested coconuts, you can a walrus.

No, really.

Mally was planning on attacking the castle of the not-so-holy King Shinmaru John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt III esq Or King Shinny to his pals, but was confronted by God. God is ugly. Wait.

Anyways, God confronted Mally and ordered her to repent for making an evil deal with the devil. She sat there. God looked at her. She looked at God. God and Mally looked at each other. Mally finally agreed to repent and sacrificed her walrus. Unfortunately, she got lost in its heat-warming blubber. God freaked out and ran away screaming 'THE ANCIENT BLUBBER GOD HAS COME TO GET MAH FERRETS!' Oh well.

Mally celebrated her 21st birthday just recently, after finding the dead bodies of her parents. She spent five hours poking them with her birthday candle. Suddently, the puberty disease struck her like lightning and she fell over twitching for ten days. Ah. Poor Mallory Stipend-ed. *narrator floats away with a giant umbreall humming the theme to Zelda* Un-be-know-eth to the narrator, Mally grabbed on to his feet and floated to the Otaku Kingdom. This ending sucks. *walks away*

How do you define above-average writing anyway? *strokes blonde beard* Oh my god, like, girlfriend, I'm getting highlights for my beard tomorrow!! *squeals* *cat jumps on beard and rips it off* O_o. The End! [/size]
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[color=indigo]Name: [Outrageous accent that is supposedly French] Lance Alliot, but, much to his chagrin, everyone just calls him ?Nancy Boy?

Age: ?Nancy Boy? is twenty-five but is often mistaken for older due to the horrid stench that surrounds him

Weapon: A gigantic rusty broad sword that he never uses??Nancy Boy? is French after all

Appearance: Lance Alliot is a tall, skinny fellow with a beaked nose and a perfect set of white teeth. He has close cropped, curly, greasy dark hair and a fair complexion that seems dark because ?Nancy Boy? is perpetually covered in a film of grime. Ironically, his white ruffled shirt and tan pants are always clean and pressed, and his boots are always polished. The only armor that Alliot wears is a pair of chain mail briefs that cover his twigs and berries with an accentuated bulge. His huge sword is mounted naked on his back and causes him to perpetually stoop his shoulders.

Bio: For the first eighteen years of his life Lance Alliot was a faithful member of Baron von French Guy?s court. Like all members of the Barons court, Lance Alliot partook in the ?Trials of the Lion? ceremony. Lance successfully completed the first two coming of age trials (Imbibing the Holy Grape and The Seduction of a Housewife) but failed miserably at the third trial and final trial, the Degradation of a Fellow Human Being. Poor Lance was unable to make rationale, condescending insults. Because a French man really isn?t French unless he is condescending, Lance Alliot was banished from von French Guy?s land forever.

Since his exile Lance Alliot has wondered from town to town being, lecherously copulating with married women and attempting to grasp the art of insulting, condescending rhetoric. At present time he is attempting to elude an ever expanding troop of angry husbands that want to draw and quarter him?(and for the record, his best attempt at a biting insult so far is "You have the work ethic of an eight year old mule that has grain as slow as a goat twice her age!")[/color]
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Well, all along I've been preaching that I was going to narrow this RPG down to seven people...however, that task proved far too difficult and I've chosen to go with eight people for this RPG, which may seem like a lot, but I think it can work out, especially with the people I've chosen for the RPG.

I tried to maintain a nice mix of classes with the people I chose...I didn't want there to be too many Knights or anything and I leaned heavily towards those characters with unique qualities (such as Annie's Gardening Knight and HC's Nancy Boy). I feel that I've got a pretty good mix out of the people I've chosen, heh.

Now, without further adieu, the people I've chosen for the RPG:

DeathBug - Baron von French Guy
Manic - Braddock the Welsh
Sara - Noel(le) the Minstrel/Actor/Bard Person
Ben - Ishap the Wizard of Mishap
Annie - Sir Annsie of the Shrubbery (Sir Annsie)
KnightOfTheRose - Richard of The Order of The Knights that until formerly said Ni
Heaven's Cloud - [Outrageous accent that is supposedly French] Lance Alliot aka Nancy Boy

Feel free to use this Recruitment thread for any questions that you may have about the RPG. I'll be PMing a couple people with questions that I may have about their characters. Hopefully, I'll be able to get this started today, but due to unforseen circumstances, I might not be able to - however, all that matters is that the recruitment stage is over and done with and I can finally start this up, heh.

Congrats to all whom made it and thanks to everyone whom took an interest in the RPG and signed up ^_^
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  • 2 weeks later...
Blergh, I've been putting off saying this for a while, heh.

DeathBug recently informed me that, due to school, he will be unable to participate in the RPG. I will be taking the reins of his character, Baron von French Guy, for a while. However, I don't plan to play as that character throughout the whole RPG, so I'm reopening the signups for that character [i]and that character only.[/i] If you want to join the RPG, you must join as Baron von French Guy, since he will be the only character available. Also, try to come up with a competent sign-up and don't just steal from DeathBug :p

That is all.
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