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ChibiHorsewoman

Are you planning on keeping your name?

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[color=darkviolet]For the young women on the site (if you're married and you either kept hyphenated or assumed your spouse's name explain why) if/when you get married would you take your spouse's last name or keep your own? Or would you give yourself a finger cramp every time you signed your name to things like I did? And I'll explain why I did that in a minute. Also, if you kept or hyphenated your name and you had kids what would you two do about their last name?

As for the guys...would you care if your spouse kept her last name or took yours? Is it a big deal for her to take your last name?

Okay my own answer:

According to my driver's liscence I am Donnelly-Crisler M E. That's because I kept my maiden name along with taking Lincoln's when I got married. Let me tell you that is one hard thing to write out. It was also pretty hard to get done in central Texas when the woman at the DMV tried to tell me she couldn't do that on my driver's liscnce because if she did there wouldn't be room for my middle name. But anyway... I decided to keep my name along with my husband's because I liked my maiden name. I don't know many people with that last name and it's pretty hard to find in a book of Irish Surnames. Infact I've only found one book with the name in there.

As for the question I asked about what you would do about whose name the kids would take well, my daughter has my husband's last name and nothing else. Well, you know what I mean. She's Abigail Elizabeth Crisler because we didn't want the poor girl going through the majority of her first day of kindergarten trying to write out her full name. Another reason is that my husband (although he has four half brothers on his father's side) is pretty much the last male in the Crisler family who is in the position to have kids with his last name, meaning it would be pretty good to have a son next. No pressure there.

Okay, I gave my answer now you give yours.[/color]

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[quote name='ChibiHorsewoman']As for the guys...would you care if your spouse kept her last name or took yours? Is it a big deal for her to take your last name? [/quote]

Yes, it's a big deal to me. It's an assertion of my male dominance.

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[font=Verdana][size=1]It's kind of interesting to follow the progression of last names. My oldest sister, for instance, has married, but she decided to have a hyphenated name. Her children, too, are hyphenated. My other sister married and changed her name, and to be entirely honest, I still don't remember who it is when she uses her new name. :rolleyes: [/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]As for myself, I'm not sure whether I'll change my name, but I assume that I'd hyphenate it at the very least. [/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]In terms of etiquette (no groaning now, heh) titles and keeping your name and so forth can also say quite a bit about your status, heh. While it's not really predominant anymore [And believe me, I wouldn't know unless I'd read the book.], your title could say whether you're married, single or even divorce. To quote; [/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1][i]When a woman marries, she is usually known by her husband's full name -- that is, Mrs. Ned Kelly (although by law, she may keep her maiden name, is she chooses). If she is widowed, she continues to be addressed as Mrs. Ned Kelley. However, if they are divorced, and let's say her given name is Sheila, she becomes Mrs Sheila Kelley.[/i] [/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1][The Penguin Book of Etiquette, by Marion Von Adlerstein.][/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Generally, that's pretty much gone out the window with the arrival of women's rights and feminism and such. I mean, surely taking the name of your husband is an intrisinc and implicit form of submission which simply cannot be tolerated. *[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Although, to be fair, the custom probably comes from the times when a woman was her husband's property. But really, I see it as more of a tradition than anything, now, and one that's fading, too, heh.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]So, yeah. I'm not entirely sure what I'll choose, but it'd be interesting to see if it could be traced to the begining of the custom. It'd also be interesting to compare it to the matrilinial and bilinial societies of Indonesia. [/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]:thawps herself:[/size][/font][font=Verdana][size=1] Sorry, I've been reading too many of my mum's essays, lol. [She's doing a course on women in Eastern civilisations or something.][/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]* That was a joke. [/size][/font]

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[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]
[QUOTE=wrist cutter]
Yes, it's a big deal to me. It's an assertion of my male dominance.
[/quote]
Good one! A piece of advice though: Watch out for your neighborhood's hatchet-wielding feminists. XD

If... no, [b]when[/b] I get married, I'd probably keep my maiden name. It's not that I don't want to be associated with my husband; I just want old acquaintances to recognize my name when they chance upon it. I don't want a hyphenated one either; my maiden name's long enough to name two people. Pretty shallow, ain't it?

I plan to have two children (preferably adopted. Am scared to death of giving birth. Methinks I'm a carrier of some rare genetic disease XD); one would carry my husband's surname and the other, my surname.

Love and Peace!
[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]I like my last name, for all its being French.

Also, there is no reason for a woman to change her name to that of her husband, unless hers is something utterly detestable.

In a marriage, both parties are equal.

When I get married, I'll go with the hyphen.

(This reminds me that Kenshin's name is actually [spoiler]Kamiya Shinta[/spoiler] towards the end of the series. Heh.)[/FONT][/COLOR]

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[FONT=Comic Sans][SIZE=1] I'll most likely Change my last name to my husbands since im pretty sure who in the future I'll be marrying...I like his last name. Before you get the wrong idea, its not because of tradition. Hell if I had a unique last name I probably would have kept it, but i've been stuck with the most common last name in the world...and its bugged me ever since i was a kid. Yah thats right. It's smith. So I'd be happy to take on my husband's name because well i just straight out tired of mine. Its common. Boring. I thought about taking up my mother's maiden name and grandma's if i never get married (which is a possibility and im not afraid to be alone like some other women) Vegvari. Otherwise my last name will be Nava ^.^ and I like that last name. Have to admit, its alot less common then smith lol [/FONT][/SIZE]

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[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Great topic Chibihorsewoman! It's kind of interesting to me when I think of what my mother has done with her name. When she married my father she dropped her middle name and changed it to her maiden name and kept his last name. (Coincidently they gave me her maiden name for my middle name, but not my brother.) After my father died she remarried and kept my father's name. She is a published, respected microbiologist and didn't want to lose her professional prestige because she remarried later in life.

As for me, I will probably just keep my maiden name or hyphenate it according to what my husband and I decide to. (If I get married of course.) If we hyphenated my name, then we would give our children the hyphenated name, but if I kept my name and he kept his, I would let our children be named after him. I would do this so that all of my children have the same last name, and it would be less confusing that way. My history teacher did this. His wife kept her maiden name because she had a PHD in Russian History and is a feminist, but their daughter is named after her father.

I think that there are lots of non-feminist reasons to keep your maiden name; I think that it has more to do with gender equality. Well that's my two cents on this subject. [/COLOR]

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[color=deeppink][size=1]If I ever got married (God help that man), I would have my last name hyphenated and then randomly chose which last name I would use that particular day, just to confuse people.

...like the IRS...

Hah hah, not really, although I do want to at least have a hyphenated last name. If I got married, I probably wouldn't have kids, but if I did, they would have my husband's last name. I have a brother, so I don't have to worry about continuing my last name, lol.

-Karma[/size][/color]

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[size=1][font=veranda][color=indigo]Well, my mom kept her maiden name. -.- Goofy as it was. She has a long name now. She kept her maiden name, but also took my dad?s surname, so yay!

I don?t know. I might keep my maiden name, I might not. It depends on whom I get married to. Heh, if I like the last name, I may just say, ?to hell with this? and take his and not keep mine. But then, I dun have to worry about it for five more years, at least. :D If I had kids, they would have my husbands last name (or wife?s. XD) Probably just because I don?t like people looking at me for explanations. Lol[/size][/font][/color]

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[quote name='Godelsensei']Also, there is no reason for a woman to change her name to that of her husband[/quote]

That's the way things have always been done and the only reason not to follow it is because you're some bra-burning feminazi with hairy armpits, in which case you'll probably never get married anyway.

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I am keeping my name, thank you very much! No slimey, goofy doofy of a man is going to take it away! It's what I'm known by! It stands for me! Never!

Oh wait... I'm a guy... Oh well, I stand by it >:^<

And I would leave it up to my spouse. It doesn't matter to me. I wouldn't want my name changed either so why should she?

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[quote name='wrist cutter']That's the way things have always been done and the only reason not to follow it is because you're some bra-burning feminazi with hairy armpits, in which case you'll probably never get married anyway.[/quote]

[color=darkviolet]Well, yeah, except for me and my cousin and well like a thousand or so celebraties...like Faith Hill who's been married to Tim McGraw for a while now and Shania Twain. Both of whom don't have hairy pits.

Besides it may be tradition for some Westeners, but there are also quite a few cultures who pass on the mother's name instead of the fathers.

But Wrist Cutter, I guess if it's really what you want I say she takes your name and you take hers.[/color]

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I've always had a strong dislike for my last name because just about every other Hispanic person you meet will also have it. It's plain and it's enough to go through all of elementary with people calling you Sarah Plain and Tall [despite your being rather short]. If I married and my husband had a cool last name I'd adopt it. Otherwise we could both change it and start a new clan!! I'm serious too.

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[color=firebrick] I'd keep my maiden name just for the sake of retaining my culture and because I don't feel like using some guy's last name for the rest of my life- even if I love him. Feminism, woot!

Besides, if the guy I was marrying objected to that I would reconsider marrying him in the first place, anyway.[/color]

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[size=1]I would have to say yes, it would matter whether my spouse took my name or hers. To me, a marriage means one, and if the two ends in the marriage have different last names, then they are not one. So yes, I would hope that my spouse would take my name.[/size]

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It depends on what his last name is. Mines no winner now, so if his is better, or my initals spell something cool, I'll change it. If not I'll keep my own. Problem is it's my Father's, and the kids will probibly have their dads, so it's really not makeing a statement, other then preferance. My mom didn't change hers, which is cool. Maybe I'll filp a coin. :D

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[size=1]Right now, I'm of the mind that when I get married, I'll probably keep my last name. Obviously, it's a pride thing. When you grown up with a surname like mine, it takes a long time to learn to love it. Eventually I did, and I'm proud of it, and I'm proud of my family, and I want people to know that.

Of course, that could change entirely when I finally meet the guy I'm going to marry. It's the same thing with children. I'm not worried about continuing my name, as I do have a brother, but when I actually give birth to the damn things, I might want them to have my name as well. I'll cross those bridges when I get to them. ^_^;[/size]

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I might change my last name. If I like his last name, I'll change it. If I don't like it, and I think it's stupid, I'll adopt anatema's Idea and have both of our last names changed. I don't want them to be different, but I don't want my name to sound stupid either.

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[color=deeppink][size=1]*whew* I'll gladly change my last name. If I had one of the cooler Asian last names, [i]maybe[/i] I would consider keeping it. But it doesn't matter. In Korean culture, even after you're married, your last name doesn't change. So erm. Isn't really a big deal to me. Just don't have a clue as to what would sound decent next to 'Dyne Juuthena'. o_O;;;[/color][/size]

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[QUOTE=Arcadia][size=1]Right now, I'm of the mind that when I get married, I'll probably keep my last name. Obviously, it's a pride thing. When you grown up with a surname like mine, it takes a long time to learn to love it. Eventually I did, and I'm proud of it, and I'm proud of my family, and I want people to know that.

Of course, that could change entirely when I finally meet the guy I'm going to marry. It's the same thing with children. I'm not worried about continuing my name, as I do have a brother, but when I actually give birth to the damn things, I might want them to have my name as well. I'll cross those bridges when I get to them. ^_^;[/size][/QUOTE]

Feh. Someone's lucky they got a good last name. When (and if!) I get married, though that is a long ways away, I will most likely take on the last name of my husband, as... Well... My last name ish horrid, put nicely. o_o; If you knew, it would make you laugh and laugh... It's something famous with the little kids, for a little bit of a hint. I'll prolly end up changing my entire name too... Aonya Lee or Mireille Kunisaki sounds nice... o.o; Aonya Lee and then my boyfriend's last name sounds good too... >D

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Being the good submissive Japanese wife I am, (that's a joke by the way) I took my husband's last name when I married. When I write I use my maiden name along with my married last name. The reason I did that is because there is another person who is very active in writing that has the same name as my married name.

The down side to me taking my husband's last name is that many people when they hear my name expect to see a German woman and instead get a Japanese one! Oh well.

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