Do you "front"?

[elfpirate]

[b]I am a sucker for social psychology, and this topic intrigues me.[/b]

[b]There are so many people that "front" (you know-- pretending to be something you're not)...[/b]

[b]In another thread, there was complaint of people pretending to be gangsta thugs when they really aren't, and I see people "fronting" all the bloody time.[/b]

[b]I guess I do it in rare situations... like when I'm in an important meeting that will determine some part of my life, I force myself to interact in a more socially acceptable way than I typically do (ie: I try not to drum on the desk with my pens or to offend the people around me, even when I think they deserve it). I do it in these situations because if I didn't, I'd screw up my meeting and be SOL with whatever I was trying to accomplish by being there.[/b]

[b]Otherwise, it's almost always the case with me that what you see is what you get. [/b][b]I tend to be obnoxiously blatant about things and ridiculously honest... [/b]

[b]Point being, that if you can't take it without a sugar-coating, don't ask for[i] my[/i] opinion... because I won't pretend to be socially tactful- the fact of the matter is that I'm horribly uncouth at times and wouldn't claim not to be.[/b]

[b]For the most part (In most situations, that is) I don't see any reason to pretend to be something I'm not... and I'd like to understand what people get out of it, if anything.[/b]

[b][b]Do you portray yourself as being different somehow than you actually are? (Even smiling happily when your world is crashing down around you counts as "fronting" on this thread...)[/b]

[b]And if so, why do you do it and what do you get out of it, if anything?[/b]

[/b]

[boxybrown305]

[COLOR=DarkRed]I am generally pretty shy on the outside. Although when you get to know me (if i'm in a good mood) i'm really quite sociable. If you would call that "fronting" then i guess i do.

On the other hand, i do dress a certain way, to express things i like, etc. In that case i strictly would wear something that truly represents me in some way. I most certainly don't try to be "gangsta" or anything like that... then again i don't like rap. Generally, i try to express myself, though i similarly do change the way i act normally on occasion for reasons of politeness.

I think it's best to be yourself! :D [/COLOR]

[Pumpkin]

[QUOTE=boxybrown305][COLOR=DarkRed]I am generally pretty shy on the outside. Although when you get to know me (if i'm in a good mood) i'm really quite sociable. If you would call that "fronting" then i guess i do.

On the other hand, i do dress a certain way, to express things i like, etc. In that case i strictly would wear something that truly represents me in some way. I most certainly don't try to be "gangsta" or anything like that... then again i don't like rap. Generally, i try to express myself, though i similarly do change the way i act normally on occasion for reasons of politeness.

I think it's best to be yourself! :D [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][i] I'm shy when I don't know someone well enough, and outgoing when I know that person well. I wouldn't call this fronting, infact I consider it a personality trait. In certain ways, like elfpirate has stated, "Fronting" can be useful, and you use it without even realising it. Sometimes you have to if your at a job meeting, or you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, if something bad is going to come out of it your pretty much forced into it. I know when my brother in law died a few days ago, I tried to pretend that I was okay, and stay happy and hoped no one would notice I was upset. I know it seems silly and stupid, but I really hate people seeing me depressed or about to cry at school. When it becomes an issue is when someone is pretending becoming something there not. Example? well say Bob is into punk rock music and he meets Sandy who's into rap/hiphop. He pretends that he knows everything there is to know about rap/hiphop to impress sandy and become friends with her. But eventually Sandy is going to find out about him being a punkrock fanatic. Although this story is a bit silly the moral of it is, just be true to yourself, if you lie about who you are it's never going to last and you'll be stuck with nothing at the end instead of something. [/SIZE][/i][/FONT]

[Panda]

If you have ever worked with the public you have put up a front. Your boss wants a happy face for the customers so even if you are stressed out about school, feel sick, have sore feet and are dealing with family problems you have to put on the act like you are happy and pleased as punch to be there working.

There are times, such as the one I mentioned above, where you have to pretend to be something you are not. A perfect example for me goes along with the "Phobia" thread. When I was working with animals I had to deal with guinea pigs all the time. Owners would gush about how cute their little guinea pig was and I would happily agree with them. My co-workers of course all laughing quietly to themselves. Evil co-workers and creepy little rodents...but when you are dealing with clients it is easier to go with the flow then explain that I have a fear of guinea pigs.

I am generally a happy person. Unfortunately that is also a bad thing. If I am feeling bad and am not my chipper self people begin to freak out. Times like this I feel like I have to put up a front just to keep people from worrying. Even though I am normally a happy person I still feel like I have to put up a front just so people won't worry.

It's weird. I was thinking I wouldn't put up a front to be something I am not...like a gangsta or something else to be a part of a clique...but I do put one up to pretend I am happy when I am not. I guess I do put up a front to be something I am not. Hmm, I guess I just had an apithany.

[Semjaza]

[quote name='Panda']If you have ever worked with the public you have put up a front. Your boss wants a happy face for the customers so even if you are stressed out about school, feel sick, have sore feet and are dealing with family problems you have to put on the act like you are happy and pleased as punch to be there working.[/quote]

Yeah, I thought of this when I was reading the thread earlier. A lot of the people I'm nice to I'd much rather be beating the crap out of, metaphorically speaking. It's just kind of required.

I don't feel I'm not being myself, however. I wouldn't go as far as calling it a "front", actually. I'm normally a very polite person, I think. It's just you have to keep that up longer than is generally humanly possible. If I don't like you, I don't really try to cover it up.

As far as anything beyond that, no. I'm pretty happy with the messed up thing I am at this point in time. I imagine it would be fun to fake accents at parties, though.

[Guest Alchemist]

My front is similar to Mr Okida from Peacemaker kurogone (excluding his feminen side and dressing). I make people think that i am a pusho ver but when it comes down to the wire my true self comeout and I am ruthless and cunning :smirk:

[Dagger]

[quote name='Sepiroth']My front is similar to Mr Okida from Peacemaker kurogone (excluding his feminen side and dressing). I make people think that i am a pusho ver but when it comes down to the wire my true self comeout and I am ruthless and cunning :smirk:[/quote]
Is he really a doormat, though? Okita generally gets what he wants; he knows how to push people's buttons, and he's actually rather manipulative (albeit in an endearing, harmless sort of way). In the PMK thread, I raised the question of whether or not he was fronting, and most of the respondents were pretty certain that he wasn't (they definitely convinced me, at any rate). Anyway, I wouldn't call oni-Okita ruthless and cunning. Frankly I think he's much more cunning with his regular personality than when he turns into a killing machine. :animeswea

I do front, at least to a certain extent. I'm just not a very sociable person, and I tend to prefer solitude or being with my family to hanging out with friends. But when I am with a large group of people, I end up being more outgoing and acting as though I'm enjoying myself (even if I'm not).

~Dagger~

[James]

[QUOTE=elfpirate]
[b][b]Do you portray yourself as being different somehow than you actually are? (Even smiling happily when your world is crashing down around you counts as "fronting" on this thread...)[/b]

[b]And if so, why do you do it and what do you get out of it, if anything?[/b]

[/b][/QUOTE]

[color=#B0251E]It's an interesting subject; it depends what you mean by fronting. I say that because like you said in your post, I think we all do it to some degree.

Say I'm on the train and someone is doing something slightly annoying. It would be very rare for me to actually tell them to stop or to be very blunt. It's just not that important -- why disrupt my (and everyone else's) trip just because something annoys me?

So I think we are often thinking things that we don't actually [i]say[/i]. It's not because we aren't being ourselves, it's just because we don't want to unnecessarily create problems between people. A certain amount of that really has to happen in any situation, so that you avoid making a small problem a large one.

For me, I'm always who I am. As in...I wouldn't fundamentally change myself just to please others. But at the same time, I don't want to be some totally uncompromising person who isn't at all approachable. I tend to be a pretty easygoing person and even if people disagree with me about things, I think [i]usually[/i] it's possible not to let that become something that totally stops conversation with them.

I suppose there are things that I am deliberately vague about online (and to some extent in real life, though much less so). There are a few examples of that - from my sexuality to my views on organized religion. The latter I'm probably less vague about, [i]but[/i], I think that most people often see two sides to my views, which seem contradictory at times. They aren't, it's just that I don't tend to go into a huge speech about my beliefs on things every time I meet someone or discuss something.

So one reason for this is sheer convenience. None of these things generally matter to anyone else, so I'm not going to force them on people. Secondly, I actually enjoy ambiguity to some degree. This is because I am a person who loathes stereotyping of pretty much any kind -- I know that there are many parts of myself that are contradictory but are somehow co-existing. It's impossible to explain that to someone in one sentence. And because of that, there is sort of a natural ambiguity about me in certain ways.

For instance, it confuses the hell out of people that on the one hand, I talk passionately about civil rights and tolerance (where I am generally totally opposed to president Bush), while on the other hand I will talk about issues of war and peace (where I am generally very much in-step with president Bush). At a glance, these two positions may seem totally contradictory, when, in fact, they aren't. Funnily enough, these varying positions all come from the same place -- the source being fundamentally compassionate.

So, that's my ramble. While I don't actively hide any part of myself in general, I [i]am[/i] selective about how I phrase things and how I present myself. Since I'm unable to go into in-depth explanations on everything...it's just easier to either avoid something (unless the issue is raised), or to simply be fairly general about it if it really doesn't matter.

I hope that made sense, anyway. lol[/color]

[Sanada]

Yeah.. I kinda do front..

In class I act like a clown, always making stupid jokes and being the victim of other people's pranks ^^'
I guess that I'm always clowing around, trying to be funny, when I'm actually a quiet, thinking person, If you get to know me.
If I'd ever say something that's more like the real me then the fool me, nobody would believe me.. I tried ^^'
Anyway, I believe that many people aren't what you think they are, they're all wearing masked.. What would happen if they begin to slip?

-Sanada

[elfpirate]

[QUOTE=James][color=#b0251e] Secondly, I actually enjoy ambiguity to some degree. This is because I am a person who loathes stereotyping of pretty much any kind -- I know that there are many parts of myself that are contradictory but are somehow co-existing. It's impossible to explain that to someone in one sentence. And because of that, there is sort of a natural ambiguity about me in certain ways.
[/color][/QUOTE]
[b]The "art of ambiguity" , as I call it, doesn't really strike me as a front in and of itself unless you are actually trying to seem ambiguous when you've really taken a clear stance on an issue.[/b]

[b]If you're truly an enigma, then it wouldn't be a front at all to be ambiguous.[/b]

[b]*heh*-- BTW-- I totally relate to the contradictory aspect...[/b]

[sinna]

I would say I put on a 'front' alomost all time. Normally people can't get me to say more than five or so words in a sentence,though when I want to be a social person it's almost impossible to shut me up. Then there's also the fact that I play D&D, in which you would normally take on the attitude of your character for hours on end. Normally in school I act like one character or another, somedays being social, and others being downright mean to people, and still other days I'll act like myself again and be quite the entire day. So using 'fronts' is almost a day-to-day habit of mine.

[James]

[QUOTE=elfpirate][b]The "art of ambiguity" , as I call it, doesn't really strike me as a front in and of itself unless you are actually trying to seem ambiguous when you've really taken a clear stance on an issue.[/b]

[b]If you're truly an enigma, then it wouldn't be a front at all to be ambiguous.[/b]

[b]*heh*-- BTW-- I totally relate to the contradictory aspect...[/b][/QUOTE]

[color=#B0251E]Yeah, I have pretty well-defined and thorough positions on a variety of issues.

But in general, at least on the surface, I'm a person of many contradictions. Sometimes it's easier to just be general or even vague about that at times, unless a specific issue is being discussed. As I said earlier, I don't want to give someone my entire philosophical outlook when it's not relevant or they don't want to hear it.

So in that case, rather than putting up something fake...it's a question of knowing what to offer and what to hold back. Or at least, knowing the appropriate times to talk about various things.[/color]

[r3vival]

Well to I would think from the definition you have given to the word that everybody "fronts" sometimes. As mentioned earlier when you have a job that involves your working with people you can't so much wear your emotions on your sleeve. There is also the case that was mentioned of putting on a smile when you dont so much feel like smiling I suppose i'm guilty of this as well sometimes being that I prefer not to put my own burdens on others and even at the shear annoyance of people asking "What's wrong?" and having to answer all the time. Generally, i'd have to say that I don't "front" that often though. I don't see it as a bad thing so much in small doses I guess you could say although it is not the best way to say it. I see it as becoming a problem when you can see that people clearly live their lives behind this "front" or a mask of sorts. Then it comes down to the fact that a lot of what they are to you as a person isn't really them so obviously you can't really take a liking to them personally at least thats how I feel. Its somewhat ironic that these people who go out of their way to put up such barriers to the core of what they really are are often the easiest to read.

[2010DigitalBoy]

Sometimes I want to destroy the world, and yet I call myself a pacifist. Sometimes Im someones friend, yet we both know I hate them. I wouldn't consider it to be frontin' because thats just how I am.

Sometimes I plat with my little brothers pretending that we are animals and things like that. If thats frontin', then yeah I be frontin'.

[elfpirate]

[quote name='James][color=#b0251e']So in that case, rather than putting up something fake...it's a question of knowing what to offer and what to hold back. Or at least, knowing the appropriate times to talk about various things.[/color][/quote]
[b]Well put, James. Knowing the appropriate times to speak about certain things is a positive quality, to be sure...[/b]

[b]And, yeah-- pretending to be ambiguous when you aren't would be a form of putting up a front, I think... because you could just blatantly state that yeah, you have a distinct opinion, but you're not willing to share it right then...[/b]

[Heaven's Cloud]

[color=indigo]I have mixed opinions on this topic.

On one hand I find it ridiculous for a person to put up a façade just to impress other people.

On the other hand, can you really ?front?? Doesn?t acting like something you aren?t make you something else entirely, banishing the whole mythos of ?posing??

For example, John is a country music buff. However, a lot of John?s friends all dress in hip-hop inspired clothes, jerseys, baggies, the works. John likes the style of clothing, he likes the way it looks, so he adopts it as his own. At this point he isn?t a poser, he is just a guy wearing his preferred style of fashion and listening to his preferred style of music, nothing could be further from ?fronting?.

However, his friends talk about hip-hop music all of the time, and because he now fits that image he is often included in the conversations. At first John doesn?t know a thing about hip-hop, but when his friends ask his opinions on the genre he nods and agrees that certain guys suck and certain guys are good, although he always feels and seems awkward when doing it. A bit of a façade is built. However, he gets a spark of interest in the genre and explores it, gradually discovering his own interests and disinterests. He becomes his own person, and the façade ends up growing strong and becoming a foundation for his new characteristics.

I guess what I am getting at is there is such an emphasis on posers, on people?s fashion sense matching their music sense matching their personality. However, it seems that the only people that are concerned with these posers are people that fall into cookie cutter generic stereotypes. I think they worry that their lives will be less valid if they are not part of a distinct, organized herd arranged with some semblance of hierarchy.

Oh yeah, to answer one of the initial questions, I front all of the time. I pretend to be an intelligent eclectic masculine yet fashionable arrogant guy. In reality I am only a sort of intelligent mostly eclectic testosterone driven more disheveled than fashionable vain guy. [/color]

[fynessajynx]

hmm.. I was often called a "poser" by the goth chicks in highschool, because I didn't listen to the music that was associated with the look. (I wore a black trench coat and had a wild hair style) I didn't even know about it. I was 14 and lived in hicksville. I was going for comic book/movie, not for "the cure" heheh I always loved the dark heroes, and if I would have access to the clothing, I would have dressed in renaissance garb, lol.

but as far as fronts? hmm.. I think I'm too shy to put up a front most of the time. I wish I could, then at least I'd be able to hold a conversation in social functions.