A lil help from the older people pls...but if you're younger you can help.....

[Hinata]

Let's see where to start....
I won't get into too much detail..but my b/f(tony) is going through a situation in which he has to choose me...or his child(TJ) and its mother(Sara)!!! (these are fake names)
I know he loves me and all but when he asked me last night, if Sara and Tj could move in with him, my heart just froze...I didn't want to be put in that situation. After a while I told him that I didn't want Sara, not TJ, to move down there..but he doesn't wnat to break Sara and TJ apart esp. since TJ is only about 9 months.
I told him how I felt and I hope that things go okay..but was I right?
Should I have told him that its okay if both Sara and TJ come to live with him? Or was my decision the best for right now?
I love Tony and I don't wanna lose him to Sara which I feel will happen if she comes down here???
So please help me and tell me if what I said was right???

[Ice Dragon v2]

Well, the only thing I can say is that you choose from your heart. These kinds of situations make people decide from the feelings. Maybe you should talk it out before making the right decision.

[Guest Voodookanaka]

.......u dont trust him..........

[Hinata]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Voodookanaka [/i]
[B].......u dont trust him.......... [/B][/QUOTE]

I trust him....definetly but it's her who I don't trust!!!!!!

[woody]

I don't understand why Sarah and TJ want to move in with him. They can live nearby and he can visit them to see TJ.

[pokemaster1]

i agree with woody

[Avalon]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by sweetreyes [/i]
[B]

I trust him....definetly but it's her who I don't trust!!!!!! [/B][/QUOTE]

I understand completely but there's only one thing i have to say...do live with him? If you do, there's one way to explain how it's going to be...Jerry Springer.

[velvet paws]

yea..good question. Do you live with ur bf? Coz if you do then u have apt enough reason to feel uncomfotable with the idea of both the child and its mother..invading your personal space and private life.. so to speak.

I can understand the guy wanting to be able to see his kid..but if he's willing to take back the woman he broke up with, whether just giving her a home for a while or *gulp* wanting to try it again :worried: then it means that either he's disrespective of your feels or you haven't aired them well enough.

When it all boils down to it, it's between you and him....but I think if he's made a commitment to you he should be willing to make sure this is comfortable for you...not scaring you...

[Darkness]

As hard as it may be to believe, I don't think that trust is even the issue here. You are acting perfectly normal for this complex situation. I know it's not intentional, but (tony) has put you in a no-win situation. If you don't let it happen you'll feel guilty and he might even resent you for it. If you let it happen, every waking moment will leave you wondering what is going on, and you don't deserve that kinda stress. What can I say.... this is a case where you have to pick your poison.

[Justin]

Well, I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, he'd be supporting his child(which is definately the right thing).
On the other, he'd be bringing her back into his life. Not only into his life but into his home. I say he should compromise and try to help the mother find a suitable apartment and share the rent.

-Justin

[mornigndew]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Justin [/i]
[B]Well, I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, he'd be supporting his child(which is definately the right thing).
On the other, he'd be bringing her back into his life. Not only into his life but into his home. I say he should compromise and try to help the mother find a suitable apartment and share the rent.

-Justin [/B][/QUOTE]
[color=blue] I agree, try Justin's idea to to see how it work [/color]

[k9*]

this is def. no-win. all you can do is tell him how you feel (which you already did), but then make sure that you're not the one that's forcing him to choose btween the two of you. it's a hard line btween supportive and assertive about your feelings.

best of luck to you

[Char!]

Be up front with the guy. Tell dude that you won't be comfortable in this situation, but you don't wanna be a moron about him. Above all else, tell him the honest truth.

Good luck to you.

[Pastbyer]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Justin [/i]
[B]Well, I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, he'd be supporting his child(which is definately the right thing).
On the other, he'd be bringing her back into his life. Not only into his life but into his home. I say he should compromise and try to help the mother find a suitable apartment and share the rent.

-Justin [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=indigo]Yeah, I agree with Justin too.[/color]

[Fall]

I think he feels sorry for Sara. But it also seems he cares for the child. I agree with Ice Dragon, choose from your heart. :)

[GotenksSSJ343]

I'm with justin on this one

[KyJaUn~FuLlEr]

If sara moves in and i were u i would kick that b**** out!!! NO i'm kidding well y can't she and tj just live closer to yall so they can viist like someone said!
Well i know i didn't help i'm too young for this. OY my back is broken ow owwww!!!
Just trying to cheer ya up just in case :D

[Kuja]

[SIZE=3][FONT=century gothic][COLOR=crimson]well... my best friend has a daughter... and well... we used to go out but her kid got in the way (i love her kid to death thou :)) cause of the father... the idiot wanted custody of the kid so she ended up in court (still is) trying to get ahold of this kid... as much i hate to lose her i wish she could be with the idiot guy... for the babies sake... i know you LOVE 'tony' but well... if it is his kid... dont u want him to take care of it? if you truely trust him you would let him do what HE wants... cause if you trust him 100% it wouldnt matter who he lived with you would be the only he cared about... so she wouldnt matter... just means you 2 couldnt try and make you a mommy ;) as often[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[Spikey]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Ice Dragon v2 [/i]
[B]Well, the only thing I can say is that you choose from your heart. These kinds of situations make people decide from the feelings. Maybe you should talk it out before making the right decision. [/B][/QUOTE]





I relly agree with you ice dragon you teally need to choose from your heart and soul!

[Sephiroth]

I say talk to him, find out how he feels about her, if he merely finds her as a friend now, then tell him to go talk with her and tell that to her, that they are just friends and he don't want any form of a relationship to develop between them, even though she has TJ, I often find that talking is usually the best way for everything....

[Hinata]

[COLOR=orange] Hey I want to thank all of you for your posts......And for that I give you all :smooch: 's....Thankx alot...and I hope that everything works out for the better... I gave him my answer and he was cool with it...SO FAR but hope that things don'te get worse...not between me but between Tony and TJ...b/c Sar may just try to take it out on those two.....SO KEEP PRAYING[/COLOR]

[Lady Macaiodh]

first of all, you say it is sara you do not trust...
my boyfriend said the exact same thing to me two nights ago about my roommate jared. but that makes no sense. it doesn't matter if he trusts jared or not. if he trusts me, then he should know that [I]nothing's going to happen.[/I]

on the other hand, you don't want to be the one to keep a father from his child. & it sounds like he has a lot of baggage. you have to decide if you love him enough to put up w/ his ex. she's always going to be in his life, whether you like it or not.