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Romance! Breakups!! Spit your ****!!! The phrase "Lets just be friends" dies here.


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[COLOR=DarkOrchid] Okay, so this is the thread for you softies who have been dumped, rejected and/or hurt in any other way. Spill everything, spare no detail. We're all heartbroken and need to feel like we're not alone.

[B]Personal Sotry[/B] OKay, recently, in my 4th relationship, I told one of my best friends I had feelings for him. He consented and admitted that he liked me as well. Avoided me for 3 days and even pulled away when I held his hand on a walk at lunch. Finally, I get the message. LOUD AND CLEAR! "I just wanna be friends". I ask him if that's what he's thinking and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, "I'm so glad you understand". It really sucked, but it wasn't as bad as sum relationship bummers I've had before. What's yours?

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Hmm, yeah been there. But my story is kind of a bittersweet one.

I've been in love with my best friend for over half a year now, and she knows it. I mean, in *love* with her. Can't stop thinking about her, can't stop dreaming about her, can't stop wanting her. Cliche, cliche, cliche...yes, but! I can't help it. I'm way open about how much I'm in love with her, and yes, to a certain extent, she does love me back. The problem is we're seperated by two states and I cannot actually be in a relationship with her. So, obviously she goes out and dates other guys. Right now she's in a relationship with someone else, and as much as that breaks my heart into pieces...I'm happy for her. I'm always going to be happy for her. Because that's how much I love her.

I mean, yeah it's sad and pitiful feeling worthless because the girl you love the most is out there sleeping with someone else right now, but yes no matter what you can't help but hope she is happy, even...EVEN...if it's not with you.

I'm never going to be able to be in a relationship with her, so I make the best of the friendship I have now and cherish it to the most. I would protect her with my life.

Regardless, sorry if that's not the total heartbreak story you're lookin' for there. But it's my most current one. ;)
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=Plum]lol are relationships really something to envy?it can hurt sometimes ya know.

as for ur situation sol-blade.i understand how u feel.im aso in love with someone whos far away.lol.but i still really love him alot!and he loves me too.>.< he says that he wont go for another girl but i tell him its ok cuz like u said i just want him to b happy and thats all that really matters.i love him and im just glad to have met him.^^

but sometimes its kinda sad.i miss him and just wish he was here sometimes.oh wellz just gotta hope for the best.^^[/COLOR][/FONT]
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[COLOR=DarkRed]You know how it goes, the stalker, the reteird porn star... just your typical happy relationship. Well, she got a restraining order, so that was that. Hearbreaker, I know.

Seriously though, women in highschool aren't really worth it for me; basically status symbols as it stands, I don't really have anything in common with most, and I prefer to just hang around with my friends, nerdy as they are.

Pfft... women... [/COLOR]
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[quote name='ChibiSaki][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=Plum]lol are relationships really something to envy?it can hurt sometimes ya know.[/COLOR'][/FONT][/quote]

Yes, but you must keep in mind that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. You'll keep your bad memories of the relationship, but the good ones as well. The people who haven't dated got jack squat :P

So as I said: Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. So what would you want? Pasta with toenail sauce or to starve to death? Wait... maybe that metaphor isn't such a good one... XD
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[quote name='Dragon Warrior']Yes, but you must keep in mind that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. You'll keep your bad memories of the relationship, but the good ones as well. The people who haven't dated got jack squat :P [/quote][SIZE=1]Actually would if there is no good memories? Then wouldn't you regret that relationship? I know I've had one that lasted a year, and I have absolutely no good or fond memories of starting that relationship. Solution? Yes there is sometimes where it's better not to have loved. But it happens anyways because well thats life.[/SIZE]
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[COLOR=Plum][FONT=Comic Sans MS]You're also right. Sometimes love just hurts. And its just better to not love.There'd be no pressure or the stress of love.Like some people sometimes wish they had no feelings at all.That way they wont care and cant be sad.But yea it happens because its part of life.And you just cant control your emotions.[/FONT][/COLOR]
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[quote name='Pumpkin][SIZE=1']Actually would if there is no good memories? Then wouldn't you regret that relationship? I know I've had one that lasted a year, and I have absolutely no good or fond memories of starting that relationship. [/SIZE][/quote][color=#6699cc]Then why were you in it for a year?[/color]
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[CENTER][COLOR=DarkSlateGray][B][SIZE=1]hhmmm...i feel for all of you that have felt that kind of loss.
Sol-Blade...have you told her how you've felt...better to let stuff like that out than to hold it in.
'Your Mother'...lol...you've got time...plenty of it.

In my case...I'll share my story. In high school I never had a real relationship until my junior year. I casually went out with people just to hang out...but nothing serious till I met Alev. She was my first love...and now thinking back...I'll never forget her. I don't think anyone can truly forget their first love.

Anywho...we were together for 2 years till we seperated at teh end of senior year. She chose her career and friends over me...and to this day...I hate (well, hate is a strong word....'highly dislike) her for all that she put me through. But in the end, I thank God that I let her go. Did it hurt...yes it did...after that point...I wanted so much better for my life. I went out with other people...played the field...tried to ease the pain. WIth problems with the family, friends...and that horrible moment in my life...the bad overcame the good and it felt like my heart died.

Over the years I grew...and I learned from my past. Everything happens for a reason I believe...and sometimes...the best things happen when you least expect them too. Here's why...through those years dating Alev...and when we were apart...through all my hardship my best friend Toni (girl not guy) was there for me all the way. When I was out searching for all that I wanted from the world...everything I ever needed was right in front of me.

To make a long story short...I've dated Toni now seriously for almost three years...and will be getting married in May.

Believe me...I've been there through the heartbreak...and I've come out of the other side....and that happened before I dated Toni. Guys/Girls...the opposite (or same regarding your sexual preferance:)), do not satisfy your needs and desires. They are blessing...take this to heart..."if your heart was broken...you'd be dead" You may feel like you're dead inside...but you're still here...living...for some purpose.

Find your joy and purpose in life before you commit yourself to someone else. You may be hurt and turned down...but we all have so much of our lives to live...Patience is a virtue...and from my experiance I cannot stress that enough. You'll know who the right one is when you find this kind of person who will say this too you..."I would not only die for you...I will live for you." think on that...[/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/CENTER]
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  • 3 weeks later...
*pouring heart and soul into the open*

I started liking this girl in October. I had a job though, and it picked up in November through Christmas. I figured that if I waited long enough and still liked her, its real. So I waited until early January and I asked her to see a movie (cliche, I know). I got turned down because she had a busy weekend due to band. Not a problem. I figured I'd wait a couple weeks and try again. The very next week she started dating one of my friends. He was a musician, she was in band. Blegh.

They fit pretty well. I was very angry to say the least. I wanted nothing more than to smash my friend's head with my teeth. But, being a pacifist, I declined. I started to talk to her betgween classes and hang out with her friends. You know? Get my name in well with her friends and they'de recommend me if she asked them for advice. It went well enough and in March, we were good friends, I knew her friends well, and I asked my friend if they were through.

He said go for it. I did. I got her a lipstick knife because she mentioned casually at her job (which I hung out with her at for hours at a time) that she wanted one. I asked her to a movie. Sin City. Stupid movie, good company. It made the movie great. Then we ate tacos. All-in-all, the night didn't suck. I REALLY liked this girl. For her birthday, I got Hellsing two and three because she had one and liked it.

Then she started to tell me she hated me or that I was stupid when I talked with her. I wasn't sure if it was sarcasm at first and ended up thinking I was thinking too much. It had to be sarcasm. Then I asked her if she wanted to go to another movie. One I knew she would like. She told me she 'just wanted to be friends'.

That night, I didn't sleep. I just curled up in the fetal position and thought all night. By this time, April was coming to an end. I had no idea what I did. I treated her like a goddess and she smashed me like an insect. Then she went about it like nothing happened. That set off a surge of anger and resentment. She was a living testament to how stupid I was, how much time I wasted, how I was insignificant.

I hated her. I hated her for what she did. I ignored her and moped around for a month, then I got to be more of a jerk. When she talked to me, I got that curled lip you get when you smell a long-dead animal. My voice became monotone and I wanted nothing more than to get her to leave. She seemed to have no idea what was going on. My friends knew my feelings on the situation. Some of her friends knew how I felt.

I've hated her up until earlier this week when I decided that my negative feelings for her were influencing me now. I mean, I'm in college. If there's a better place to hook-up and meet girls, it hasn't been invented. So, that's my sob-story. God, that felt good to get out.
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[quote name='Lore][color=#6699cc']Then why were you in it for a year?[/color][/quote][SIZE=1]I don't want to make a comment back that makes me sound snippy. But you actually have to look at the situation from my view and I'd have to reveal some personal drama for you to really understand it. Something, that technically I don't really want to do. Not only was he abusive, but the reason I was in it for a year was for one I was scared of him and for two I thought I could make the relationship better but it ended up just getting worse and worse. So there are instances when things can be really bad. I honestly can't remember any good memories, but there must have atleast been one at the beginning. It's just been too long ago. Hope that makes some sense and you get what I mean. Everyone has good memories, but some arn't worth the bad ones. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

Well luckily I haven't heard the phrase "Let's just be friends." all that often in relationships, or actually now that I think about it I've only ever heard it the once, so lucky me. In response to Yukina123's original post, while it may have hurt for your friend to say that he wanted to be friends rather than pursue a relationship, it's far better that he told you now rather than six or twelve months down the road when you think the relationship will keep going. I know it may seem hard now but honestly it's better this way because you know how each other feels and maybe in a while he'll be ready to start a relationship with you.

In general however being told that your girlfriend in my case, just wants to be friends can be either a very painful thing or be a big sense of relief because it means there aren't usually bad feelings. Personally I'd rather end a relationship and stay friends with the person afterwards, rather than end up disliking the person afterwards and losing both a friend and girlfriend. But that's just my stance on it and different people will have different views.[/SIZE]
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[quote name='Pumpkin][SIZE=1']I don't want to make a comment back that makes me sound snippy. But you actually have to look at the situation from my view and I'd have to reveal some personal drama for you to really understand it. Something, that technically I don't really want to do. Not only was he abusive, but the reason I was in it for a year was for one I was scared of him and for two I thought I could make the relationship better but it ended up just getting worse and worse. So there are instances when things can be really bad. I honestly can't remember any good memories, but there must have atleast been one at the beginning. It's just been too long ago. Hope that makes some sense and you get what I mean. Everyone has good memories, but some arn't worth the bad ones. [/SIZE][/quote]

In all honesty. If a Man or woman... is abusive the worst thing you can do is stay with them. Not to flag the red light in there just saying most of the time if the man/woman hits you he or she wont stop because it is sadly part of who they are.

As for me I only had one relationship and I can not believe how bad it ended. I loved this girl for the ENTIRE time I was with her. I basically rolled over for her and cared for her. But after I had to go for the summer job I was forced to do and trust me that was the worse summer of my life. Not only was the job horrid but the moment where I could not take it anymore I quit and rang her up as soon as I can so I could get to see her again. (Mind you just for recap we never had a intimate relationship. It was a good year and 3 months that I was with her and the reason why I stayed was the L word. and no I don't mean Lesbian)

Anyways. After I got home from the hell camp she calls me up saying she needed to talk to me. Now if any male or female knows that doesnt sound good. I said okay and went to see her at the mall. She's there all smiling and says I got good news and bad news. Good news is I am getting a hair cut.... bad news is I want to break up.

At this point I just wanted to know the one question: Why?

you want to know the answer? It was because we were not intimate enough but funny it was she didnt want that....

I tried to keep us together but it just continued to hurt myself and I decided after a month I couldnt take it so I called her and broke up.

To this day I still question that and sometimes wish I was with her....Ya I became a basket case....
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Well, I've only got one real sob story. And thank the gods time heals all wounds.

I was with this jerk for about 2 years, and gave him my innocence (however he didn't know it at the time). The only reason I was with him for so long was because I thought I "loved" him, after time passed I realized I only stayed with him because of the lose of innocence. But he broke up with me while I was in one of my depressive moods, great timing, ne? His words, and I quote, "You're just too weird for me, please leave me alone." Whole lot worse then the "lets be friends" line.

Well, I met the love of my life about 4 months later and couldn't be happier. Funny thing, Jerk came into the restaurant where I work and asked me how I was doing. "Fine, I'm engaged." Flashed him a smile and walked off, lol.

Okay, there it is, cut and dry. Whole lot less emotional then it would have been after the breakup.

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[color=#9933ff]"Let's just be friends" - My friend used that to break up with her boyfriend, and somehow she spends just as much time with him now as she used to when they were together. I don't know how he took it, but she saw it as being his fault when he constantly played video games, or made plans with friends after making plans with her. Eheh....

I have the same opinion as Your Mother - all you people are lucky. No guy has ever even shown the vaguest interest in me, unless you count a guy friend from school who gave me a CD mix of their favorite songs (that I hate) a week after my birthday. It doesn't count, IMHO, and if it does, this was *counts* four months ago, anyway. '~'

Most of the guys I don't like because they're stupid or immature, but there are some I like, and for ONCE in my life, it would be nice if someone even [i]asked[/i] me if I wanted to go to a movie with them. Even if they were someone I personally would never go out with, it would validate my existence and let me know that once in my sad life there was [i]one person who [b]actually[/b] noticed me[/i]. And of course, it would be even better if someone I liked asked me out, but that would be getting my hopes up.

There's someone else at my school that I like as a friend, would want to get to know better, and he's funny and smart and nice, and totally not ready for, or interested in a relationship. What a bummer. No, he's not gay. Psychologist says that some guys just aren't ready or don't want a girlfriend until they go to college, or are in their 20's - I'm not making that up.

As for abusive relationships, I'm not going to say too much, but I'm glad that you were able to get away from it, Pumpkin. I obviously can't speak from my own experience in a romantic relationship, but without going into the whole story, I can say that it is hard to end, or break away from an abusive relationship. It's one of those things that are easier said than done, unfortunately. Because there are times when the partner is so warm and loving, and then others where they're completely a wreck. Nothing is completely cut and dry when you're in the center of that type of relationship and can't step back to see what's going on. Sometimes it takes a while to realize how awful it is, and then more time to build up courage to leave. Humans are strange in that way, because we will endure pain for a long time before lashing out against it - happens in societies today, happened in societies 300 years ago, will happen again. Anyone who has broken away from an abusive relationship shows courage. [/color]
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Heh, it's always encouraging to know that you're not the only lonely soul in the world. :animeswea

Nah. Actually, having been single for 17 years now (not that the early years count though - that'd just be plain old wierd) I'm pretty comfortable with it. Sure, there'll always be one person I'll like at a given time, some longer than others, but still.

Though more to the actual topic...

For the last half a year, on and off, I've really liked this one particular girl. About a month and a bit ago, she found out - though she'd suspected it for a little while before. Anyway, we were both on this camping trip with my youth group. On the last night, I finally worked up the guts to ask her about how she felt, even though I wasn't sure I'd like the answer. She just smiled light-heartedly, as she always did, and said that she was just enjoying being single at the moment. I believed her, and I still do. The funny thing is that she didn't actually answer the question I asked.[I] I still have no idea whether she feels anything back or not.[/I] From the way that she acts sometimes, it could be yes. But at the same time it could be no. [I]Being friends, I can deal with, but that... I find it to be a little more difficult.[/I] :animesigh

Heh, oh well. At least with her being a Christian and me being a Christian, I don't have to worry about her sleeping with other people ( :animesmil ). Though I'm still going to have to put up with rarely seeing her for the next few months or more, as she left for Uni today. Sure, it isn't too far away(considering that her original choice would've been over 4 or so hours drive away - a long way to go for an Englishman), but when you can't drive yet... joy. :animedepr

Screw angst, I'm going to go eat a cookie. Metaphorically, of course.

[I]Don't look at my cookie! HEY!![/I]
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Well, I've never had a boyfriend before... People think I'm too wierd, and where I come from, anyone who's cool follow what everyone else's doing. The other day I sat by myselfat lunch minding my own business when the guy I liked passed me. He stopped and called me a freaky moron out of the blue. He made the whole lunchroom laugh at me. I just got up and went back to class, embarrassed. But the bad thing about it was that I still liked him. It took me some time to get over it: altough no scar is ever healed. I still think about it.
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[SIZE=1]I just couldn't take life any more and I hung myself, I'm dead now, and this is my spirit talking to you all...craving my regular dose of attention from the great beyond.

Yeah, right.

Okay, to all the angsty teens (I was one too, ah heh) life isn't over when your year long boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you and just wants to be friends. COme on, you've got a whole life ahead of you, you're not going to take up 'Wicca' and curse your boyfriend/girlfriend with god knows what.

Come on, I should be ripe with my teenage angst, but I got rid of that with a quick slap to the back of the head by Lady Ashpy, XD.

These cases where you think you should die because your relationships have failed, pointless discussion already, you've got the rest of your life to live, even if you're over 60, you've got a life to live.

For abusive relationships, they need to be ended on the dot, no questions asked, no 'but I still love him/her', if he/she loved you, he/she wouldn't hit you, shout at you, and so on.

So, after been on the giving end of "let's just be friends", and on the recieving end too. You learn to get over it, after you've had your cry, you're little heart ache, you learn to get back up and get another relationship.

Fight the power![/SIZE]
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Guest inu yasha luva
this is a mushy story
I remember that road, just this week i was told "sorry ,met some one better" :animecry:oh how much i wanted to cry a river and i did ,but when i opened my eyes , my best friend(whos a guy)was hugging me and telling me "its okay to cry." :animeblus .oh we are not going out.

annelys jones :catgirl:
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Most of the relationships I?ve had have kind of ended in the although we still like each other we just didn?t ever really fall in love so to speak. It was more like two good friends having fun. Some of them I?m still good friends with.

I have had to tell a few that I no longer wanted to date them and I hated doing it. The worst was one who got jealous anytime I talked to another guy and he would get upset if I had a job that paid more than what he got. But what drove me up the wall is he would call every single night and want to talk for hours.

It may sound sweet that he wanted to talk all the time, but I was also attending college and working. I had to do homework and he never understood that I couldn?t spend hours everyday talking on the phone with him. So I finally had to break it up, as he was kind of obsessive about wanting to be with me all the time.

I had another one who once we started seeing each other more regularly started telling me what I was going to be doing with my life once we were married. Not only had he never asked me to marry him, but also he was telling me what classes I would take at school what job I would have and pretty much everything I would do, even what type of clothes I would be wearing. After a couple weeks of him attempting to make all my decisions for me I broke up with him.

So that?s my story, though I don?t feel upset over it. If anything I?m kind of relieved as it felt suffocating being around them.
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Mine's not really a breakup story or anything too sad.

I'm a very big KH fanatic. One day, i just...liked the game. I bought a PS2 after KH2 was announced. I didn't really look back on it until i noticed a lot of stuff had happened because of it:Why did i like it so much without knowing ANYTHING about it?

Well, i bought a PS2 and i beat Kingdom Hearts. Later that year, i met a bunch of people through the game, one named Robin. We became fast friends, since we had a lot in common. She was talking about a guy she like named Kevin, and he rejected her. I felt sad for her, but i questioned myself as to why i was also partially happy.

We became bigger friends. One day, she posted her artwork on a board and some people told her that she should go back to drawing school and they really insulted her. I posted, and another person in the KH2 chat rooms said that he had never seen me 'so riled up'.

Then she started to act a bit differently towards me. She was more talkative and telling me about herself, and the biggest giveaway to this was that she was at a sleepover with her friends, and she IMed me in the middle of the night (I was in the middle of beaitn .hack//OUTBREAK, so i remember this) and showed me her new drawing and talking to me a little bit.

She told me she liked me, and i told her i did too. Even though i never really noticed it at the time. We went out about a month or so, and then she wasn't sure about her feelings, so we broke up.

8 months have passed since that day. We both were still friends, and we got new beaus, but we split up with them too. Because i realized i still had feelings for her. She admitted that she did too, but she couldn't be emotionally trusting because of what her exboyfriend did.

Her wireless internet service is a piece of crap too, so since 3 weeks, she's only been on a total of three days. To make matters even WORSE, i've seen news from her county that a town in there got flooded out by Hurricane Rita. She's closer to the gulf of mexico than than MR. flooded town, so i'm worried about her if she's safe or not.

And to think, this all happened on her Sweet 16. God must really have it out for her.
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I was in the best relationship near the end of last year. I was best friends with this guy, and we both like each other... a LOT.

One day he randomly decided that he didn't want to date anymore... completely broke my heart... but there really wasn't a reason.

It's a small campus here, so I had to go through the torture of seeing him every day. I tried to act normal, but it was kind of hard.

He treated me like dirt for a long time, and then we went home from school this summer. I refused to call him or try to get in touch.

When we came back at the beginning of this year, I stayed far away for two and a half weeks. One day, he came up and apologised for the way he had been last year.

He said that he had been ignoring me for the first few days of school, and then looked up one day and realized that I wasn't around to ignore.

He actually missed me I think...

Anyways... we are friends again. He doesn't know how bad it hurts me to talk to him, especially after everything he said/did last year, but I'd rather be his friend than have to ignore him completely.


Anyways... that's my drama story for now ^_^
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Guest soul surviver
I was in going out with this guy for five years and it was great. He was five years older than me so I coulden't tell my mum cos she woulden't aprove. We went out for five years and when he asked me to marry him I said yes and we agread it was time to tell my mum as we were defently serious about each over and she had the right to know what was going on in my life. But then he got sick and died three monthes later of brain cancer. I felt so lost without him that I tried to kill myself. I was so ashamed of myself after as I knew he would have been disaponted in me and I realy heart my family and friends. I loved him so much that I havent been with anyone eles even though I know he would want me to move on and be happy. My love for him holdes me back from over guys even if they are nice but it is also what keeps me going now as i'm living for the both of us now. I know what its like to love and lost and its better than not loving at all even if it ends badly and breaks your heart the good times you had will keep you going and remain with you for evermore
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