Mitch

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Phantom's Angel [/i] [B][color=purple]Drowning in a pool [strike]of sorrow[/strike], [strike]waiting wishing for the morrow,[/strike] Where fish say the morrow And I'm left here--only sorrow Dark and deep say[strike]are[/strike] my fears, [strike]from my eyes pour my tears,[/strike] From these eyes which fall From these eyes and only all-- [strike]friendless lifeless abandoned and alone, this pool of depression is now my home,[/strike] These eyes do see them call For in this pool Depression is now And this be my home [strike]Ive lost the love, the life the joy, my wounds will never recoil,[/strike] Lost I've love Perhaps the life Joy is never-- Never never: I hold you close tonight [strike]this place again I thought I had left, I found was buried still within myself, so here I sit sad and lost, no friends no life, They were the cost, of the decisions that I made, So I wheep, sad and nearly dead.[/strike] ~D.Blume [/color] [/B][/QUOTE] [font=rockwell][size=1] I did that very quickly, but as you see, this poem does show a good thing going for it. But it can be better. I know that my version may not be better, but hopefully you can see a few improvements. Especially on one main thing: to me, poetry should be as concise as it can be. You want to put some powerful description in the shortest words needed. Looking over what I've done, I can tell that this poem really doesn't have a beat. You see, the main thing I see is it's not focused enough. At the beginning you started about a "pool of depression." You should've stuck to that, otherwise you jump around too much, and it just doesn't seem to work. Especially what I did to it doesn't seem to work, heh. But perhaps you can see something from it. Mainly, you need to have more description. This poem's really really scant on that. And without that, I can't even feel anything from this poem. All I know is that you're depressed, but why should that matter to me? You need to use some symbols perhaps, something that'll stick in one's mind to dig into my brain and force me into rememberance. Geh. Anyways, hope I said something that'll help--[/size][/font]

[size=1][font=rockwell] Lain has to be my favorite Anime series out of what I've managed to see. It's so deep, and I love that. The artwork's nice in it, too. Simple yet very nice.[/size][/font]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Tasis [/i] [B][size=1]Zack wasn't directly in it, it doesn't count then, lol. [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [size=1][font=rockwell] Fine. Be the Canadian from Canada's a--. :p He was still in it mentally. So there. Pah.[/size][/font]

[center][img]http://www.members.aol.com/shadowedcloudx/eggs[/img] [size=1] *Matrix-person voice* "You dear peon, why are you staring at this? It isn't as egg-citing og.. Og. Hold on. Need breathmint. *takes breathmint* That won't happen again. Now, this is exciting indeed. For, I know yolk'll..og..*cough cough* Og. Hold on. Need breathmint. *takes breathmint* Eggnough about this shelleady. Just know that..og...ogog og...The Matrix has you. Og.."[/size][/center]

[size=1][font=rockwell] So Ginny did find some inspiration. Good, good. Well, it's only a sketch. I can tell that too, heh. There's all the smudging and stuff from where you erased. Especially up by his right wing-thing. It's very good though. *whispers* Color it.[/size][/font]

[size=1]On this glossy sheet of efferent paper, there?s something to be said. This woman inked on it?she?s smiling serenely. Her teeth are as white as snow. Her face is flawless, there?s not a welt, not a single scripted line or vein. Her skin?s the color of some light mocha, some semi-sweet spice that dots her smile and tones over even more beauty. This is fine, she?s beautiful. But there?s still more to be said on this glossy page. Now move your eyes down. Down from that serene face, those gleaming white teeth. Down here?s what else has to be said on this simple piece of paper. Down here there?s more of her mocha skin. Much more. Her hands are placed to her side like she has something to hide. Perhaps she does. But it certainly isn?t what she?s wearing she has to hide. After you pace your eyes over this doll-like mocha queen, go down even further. Just to the very corner of the page. What does it say? It says ?get it on,? does it not? A simple phrase, but is it pointing at something more than it?s trying to say? Yes, it does have something more to say than what she?s said. But as a whole, this image still is beautiful. From her smile to her bare, skeletal chest. She?s still beautiful. At what price, though? What price does this take to you, too? It may not be on your mind, but perhaps somewhere along the way, this ad and others like it have changed your thinking. It?s like a paper that?s been shoved into your mind, an image that constantly reappears in your head. One that you constantly see as you look in the mirror at yourself. But beauty?s never perfection. [/size]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Endymion [/i] [B] If Good Charlotte isn't punk, what are they? [/B][/QUOTE] [color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] They are a group of medicore individuals brought into popularity by MTV's seemingly ease to find some of the least talent in the world, and shroud every other good band that actually deserves the spot light back to hell whence they came from flames and ashes.[/color][/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] Haha, this reminds me of the story of [i]Oedipus[/i]--which ties in with the story [i]Antigone[/i], which I'm certain many have read in english class. [url=http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~loxias/myth.htm]Go here[/url] to find out more about it. It's a pretty cool story, especially in tie-in with [i]Antigone[/i]. My opinion? Dating anyone in any relation to your blood is totally sickening to me. But if you want to do it, whatever. What's even more sickening would be actually having intercourse with them, and having a child. It's just not right in my mind. Sure, we are all related in some form of our blood, down to some fraction. But seriously, if you don't have to date/ do something close to incest with a cousin, why in the hell would you do it? It's besides me. But it's your life, your opinion, and I say do what you think is right and stand for what you believe in.[/color][/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] I believe you forgot one or more. The only one I can otherwise remember is near the very beginning of the game, right after you leave Midgar. You go to that little cabin-ish town place, and there you go to the hotel. Once in the hotel, Cloud retells his side of the story. [spoiler]Although Zack isn't actually in this one, he actually is when you think about it. Considering Cloud, in his mind, didn't know that Zack was actually him (well, them him he thought he was), and that he was simply one of the soldiers in the car along with Sephiroth and Zack. [/spoiler] It still counts, heh.[/color][/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] And spooky is a good feeling..eh.. Yes, Charles, you should definitely be proud. This story's got to be your best so far, as Mr. Ed Beans pointed out.[/color][/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] I'm a Libra (born October 12th [Which is Columbus Day, I might add]), and my favorite animal is either of these three: a Dragon, a Chimera, or a Cockatrice.[/color][/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] [i]Rose Red[/i]? You're kidding, right? That movie's not even scary. Period. Stephen King's books/ movies/ whatever never scare me. *shrug* I guess I'm just not as scared as easily. I don't know a freakishly, ostentatiously scary movie. There's too many to name, and I really haven't exactly seen too many.[/size][/font][/color]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] Everyone feels out of place sometime or another. Me? I'm always out of place.[/color][/size][/font]

[center][size=1][b][u]The Army Of Ants[/b][/u] An army of ants I came upon Walking in and walking fro Hear them ho! hear them ho! For fire springs For it is known An army of ants They walk to and fro Perhaps a black one Catch this red's toe These armies of ants Walking to and fro Dance! dance! For these ants To and fro! to and fro! I knew one and I knew them all He has danced and I have withal An army of ants I knew them well I came upon them And they dance like hell What ho! what ho! I hath been bitten Perhaps on the eye I can't see: but have An army of ants: That is what I have to hide They dance like hell They dance to the bell They dance and dance And no one can tell They jest They sigh They bite like I lie I hath been bitten What ho! what ho! Hear them stammer Hear them might I taste war to-night Spiders, flies, tasty delights Bite! and bite! Ants, ants, ants They dance they dance An army a one For all for a bite the thumb I hath been bitten! what hell! For these ants They dance well In some larvae sort of rime Pheromone dance: runic of rhyme These armies of ants Perhaps they squirm: I hath been bitten! I am alive! I hear them?they stammer Hear them?they might I taste: and it's something It's war to-night [b][u]Blown Away[/b][/u] I was driving Just to nothing On the shores of the bay I came: for the 'gulls say Drove right there into that lake I was never the same I was driving It was to nothing On the shores of the bay Decided to fish Let my problems just Blow away But, alas, I came: for the 'gulls say Drove right there into that lake Was never the same 'Gulls hark 'gulls sing But you?you should never believe I came: for the 'gulls say But you?you should never believe I've been driving from forever To evergreenmore and morever On the shores of some November Where the fish speak and say Couldn't catch any though all fell away And I came: for the 'gulls say Fell to what's called the windy September Should never let them say forever I was driving To nothing On the shores of the bay Deciding to fish Blow it all away 'Gulls said that I came Drove right in the lake I've never been the same Under this aquatic wet Hopefully I'll drive?I'll forget 'Cause I've come to evergreenmore And morever I've been driving forever[/center][/size]

[size=1][center][b][u]The Army Of Ants[/b][/u] An army of ants I came upon Walking in and walking fro Hear them ho! hear them ho! For fire springs For it is known An army of ants They walk to and fro Perhaps a black one Catch this red's toe These armies of ants Walking to and fro Dance! dance! For these ants To and fro! to and fro! I knew one and I knew them all He has danced and I have withal An army of ants I knew them well I came upon them And they dance like hell What ho! what ho! I hath been bitten Perhaps on the eye I can't see: but have An army of ants: That is what I have to hide They dance like hell They dance to the bell They dance and dance And no one can tell They jest They sigh They bite like I lie I hath been bitten What ho! what ho! Hear them stammer Hear them might I taste war to-night Spiders, flies, tasty delights Bite! and bite! Ants, ants, ants They dance they dance An army a one For all for a bite the thumb I hath been bitten! what hell! For these ants They dance well In some larvae sort of rime Pheromone dance: runic of rhyme These armies of ants Perhaps they squirm: I hath been bitten! I am alive! I hear them?they stammer Hear them?they might I taste: and it's something It's war to-night [b][u]Blown Away[/b][/u] I was driving Just to nothing On the shores of the bay I came: for the 'gulls say Drove right there into that lake I was never the same I was driving It was to nothing On the shores of the bay Decided to fish Let my problems just Blow away But, alas, I came: for the 'gulls say Drove right there into that lake Was never the same 'Gulls hark 'gulls sing But you?you should never believe I came: for the 'gulls say But you?you should never believe I've been driving from forever To evergreenmore and morever On the shores of some November Where the fish speak and say Couldn't catch any though all fell away And I came: for the 'gulls say Fell to what's called the windy September Should never let them say forever I was driving To nothing On the shores of the bay Deciding to fish Blow it all away 'Gulls said that I came Drove right in the lake I've never been the same Under this aquatic wet Hopefully I'll drive?I'll forget 'Cause I've come to evergreenmore And morever I've been driving forever[/center][/size]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] Perhaps to you, Sara. But I eat stuff like this up. I love this kind of stuff.[/size][/font][/color]

[size=1][font=rockwell] Sounds good to me. Needs polishing, though, yes. I'm not going to say anything 'till you polish it.[/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] That was amazing. Especially the ending. The ending was great. There's grammatical mistakes. Like a few times you didn't use the quotation marks on a few quotations, but you'll weed that stuff out. Great job Charles, makes me want to write.[/color][/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] I wish you the best of luck. I never really got to know you well, but you seemed nice. It's funny how things go, isn't it? Good-bye.[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Charles [/i] [b]Note:[/b] Applications are strictly limited to the general public, so staff applications will not be accepted. [/QUOTE] [color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] I see..[/color][/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] It was a great movie. Nightcrawler got me thinking about my ties with God, the love and such got me thinking there. And now I'm sitting here thinking about it all over and over again. Pensive is a place I go too often.[/color][/size][/font]

[size=1][center][img]http://www.rotetraenen.de/bilder/home/tears.jpg[/img] [b][u]Eye of The Rain[/b][/u] Rain And he bled tears What you can see It came to be What you don't see Rain falling fast It can't be For it is The past What past is For worth So near the past That's all I hear Rain And he bled tears What you can see It came to be Shall I make a wish For life is a coin Flip with a shrill of laughter Rain Bleed the tears For life is a coin What you flip For what you see Rain It came to be Flip with a shrill of laughter When you see? Rain heavy Bleed the tears[/size][/center]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] Monochrome rules. I love it.[/color][/size][/font]

[center][size=1][font=rockwell] I [i]knew[/i] it sounded familiar.[/font] [img]http://www.metalkings.com/aggressor/fallen-angel.jpg[/img] [b][u]XXXXXI[/b][/u] Was a dreary night As I rapped on the door The manager stepped out Let me in to implore Was a dreary place As I walked in Dark except for a few lamps Dreary place indeed "I would like a room," I said, my lips cold and soon I shuffled out my wallet The crisps touching my hand The manager tucked them away His face was snippy I didn't know what to say "You say you need a room To stay?" Indeed I did And so I nodded I took my wallet Once again "You won't be needing that To get in," Said the manager Indeed I wouldn't And so I nodded Put away my wallet Once again "This's on the house My dear Sir Wain Here's your key And please, do stay," Said the manager Handing my key Smiling through His decayed teeth Number fifty-one Read the key's glove "Thank you Indeed I shall be staying For I need sleep," Said I "Right up the stairs To the left You shall find your room," Said he I nodded and so went Fifty-one read the key's glove Left up the stairs and there it was Through the oil lamps Dismal and lit I did see the door Upon it did sit Number fifty-one Dimmering there in the light I did see the door Upon it did sit Number fifty-one Just as the key's glove I opened the door The key's clang Evermore I opened the door To number fifty-one Something coagulated Touch to my feet On the floor All my thoughts All I am Touch my feet On the floor I opened that door? The key's clang Evermore Fallen angel sat corner-tied Blood was all over-side Touch my feet On the floor The angel they named? As I set the door? He they call Velinor His skull was in tore Wings flimsy-sore Blood his fore He they call Velinor Eschewed on his skull I do squint as I stood: XXXXXI it did read For my eyes do not deceive Condemnation his was perceived Heaven through hell The chiming of the bell Through seas and dogs For what is fog Doom is to God Condemnation his was fifty-one Just as that of the key's glove From that it is of He they call Velinor When shock became Left my veins My mind was not The same I, Sir Wain Had entered Hell's bane[/size][/center]

[center][size=1][img]http://www.metalkings.com/aggressor/fallen-angel.jpg[/img] [b][u]XXXXXI[/b][/u] Was a dreary night As I rapped on the door The manager stepped out Let me in to implore Was a dreary place As I walked in Dark except for a few lamps Dreary place indeed "I would like a room," I said, my lips cold and soon I shuffled out my wallet The crisps touching my hand The manager tucked them away His face was snippy I didn't know what to say "You say you need a room To stay?" Indeed I did And so I nodded I took my wallet Once again "You won't be needing that To get in," Said the manager Indeed I wouldn't And so I nodded Put away my wallet Once again "This's on the house My dear Sir Wain Here's your key And please, do stay," Said the manager Handing my key Smiling through His decayed teeth Number fifty-one Read the key's glove "Thank you Indeed I shall be staying For I need sleep," Said I "Right up the stairs To the left You shall find your room," Said he I nodded and so went Fifty-one read the key's glove Left up the stairs and there it was Through the oil lamps Dismal and lit I did see the door Upon it did sit Number fifty-one Dimmering there in the light I did see the door Upon it did sit Number fifty-one Just as the key's glove I opened the door The key's clang Evermore I opened the door To number fifty-one Something coagulated Touch to my feet On the floor All my thoughts All I am Touch my feet On the floor I opened that door? The key's clang Evermore Fallen angel sat corner-tied Blood was all over-side Touch my feet On the floor The angel they named? As I set the door? He they call Velinor His skull was in tore Wings flimsy-sore Blood his fore He they call Velinor Eschewed on his skull I do squint as I stood: XXXXXI it did read For my eyes do not deceive Condemnation his was perceived Heaven through hell The chiming of the bell Through seas and dogs For what is fog Doom is to God Condemnation his was fifty-one Just as that of the key's glove From that it is of He they call Velinor When shock became Left my veins My mind was not The same I, Sir Wain Had entered Hell's bane[/size][/center]