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Mmm, Chocolate [Or: If You Were Chocolate, What Type Would You Be?]


Lady Asphyxia
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]As the title says. If you were a chocolate bar, what type would you be [and why, obviously.] Don't just limit yourself to chocolate bars already in existance, [I]be creative[/I]. What would your wrapper look like, and what would you be called? If you want to go so far as to art yourself as a chocolate bar, that would be cool, too.

Personally, I think I would be a dark chocolate bar with milk chocolate ripples and pieces of harder chewy oreo-like biscuit pieces. My wrapper would be shiny emerald green with dark brown writing and I would be called something like, "Dark Obsession" or "Down To The [B]Crunch[/B]" or something fun but yummy.

[P.S. Thinking of names is hard, but try to persevere. If I think of any better names for my chocolate-me, I'll let you know.:p]
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[COLOR=#354253][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]^ Like Hershey's Cookies and Cream, only with dark and milk chocolate. Yum!

I'd probably be a fist-sized lump of ultra-sweet milk chocolate filled with orange creme in a really violent shade of [color=#FF5300]orange[/color], and mint creme (which I imagine would look like [COLOR="Lime"]monster goo[/COLOR]). As my inner core, I want a little plastic egg with a collectible toy animal inside. Like those Kinder Surprise Eggs, only my toys will not be made out of plastic. My slaves will cast them in glass and ceramic and will hand-etch a sonnet in each animal bum.

This chocolate will then be nestled in strips of torn Golden Tickets and placed inside an orange spherical tin can. A green satin ribbon wrapped once around the tin, and a tag that says "[I]XOXO, Easter Bunny[/I]" in gold, glittering script will complete the package.

+=+=+

Well, I do love chocolates filled with orange and mint creme, and though I've yet to try both fillings in one bite, I think they would taste interesting together... in an odd sort of way.

And who doesn't like Kinder Surprise Eggs?[/FONT][/COLOR]
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I would most likely be a white chocolate bar (Six inches long, filled with dark chocolate, that has six different little square pieces that you can brake off). I actually think that would taste pretty good :animestun

The wrapper would be a black piece of paper with a thin layer of gold covering the chocolate. There would be seven kinds (with little twists to them, for example, with nuts in it or M&Ms in it or have almonds on it...). Each of them would have a different name. It would have the names of the seven deadly sins on it under the actual name of the bar. The real name of the bar is [B][I]Golden Child[/I][/B].

Thats all I can think of now.. but I want some candy now D=
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[FONT="Arial"]I would probably be some kind of cookies and cream bar, but with bits of Heath and caramel inside. Haha, it would pretty much be the candy bar version of my typical bowl of ice cream.

The wrapper would probably be white with a bunch of random winter imagery, like dead trees and snow. I think it would just be called CLURR, in a cursive type font.

Ohman, now I want candy too. :[[/FONT]
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[quote name='Clurr'][FONT="Arial"]I would probably be some kind of cookies and cream bar, but with bits of Heath and caramel inside. Haha, it would pretty much be the candy bar version of my typical bowl of ice cream.

The wrapper would probably be white with a bunch of random winter imagery, like dead trees and snow. I think it would just be called CLURR, in a cursive type font.

Ohman, now I want candy too. :[[/FONT][/QUOTE]

[COLOR="HotPink"][SIZE="1"]I'd be the off-brand version of CLURR, just named ALMOST-CLURR. Everythings there, only, not as smart and as good tasting as the CLURR bar.

...ALMOST-CLURR! Wooh.[/SIZE][/COLOR]
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If given the choice, I'd definitely want to share the taste of my favorite ice cream flavor too: Mint Chocolate Chip. Take a subtle light green color for the chocolate bar - it would have the flavor of typical white chocolate with a hint of mint - and sprinkle dots of luscious dark chocolate throughout. Ideally, the wrapper would be a thick, metallic, black foil that would help to retain a cool temperature even if the chocolate wasn't in the 'fridge. As for decoration on the packaging, subtle imprints of mint leaves would be nice. I'd like to top it all off with a pretentious name to draw in the upper class buyers willing to spend over $50,000 on a bar of chocolate, but I'm drawing a total blank as to what such a label would be. Suggestions?

I could probably relate the flavor to my personality as well, if needed. A simple, freshening taste (mint chocolate) sparsely dabbled with bold flavor (dark chocolate). Reflective of my often laid-back composure, though I'm not without hiccups in that regard.
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[COLOR="goldenrod"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][quote name='2007DigitalBoy'][COLOR="DarkOrange"]I would be melted.

...>_> *hates chocolate*[/COLOR][/QUOTE]And here I was thinking you would actually like it. Don't know why though.

Anyway, I'm not a big fan of candy in general, but there are a few Chocolates that I do like and that's namely light chocolate with either rice crispys or almonds in it or even peanutbutter. So I would be one that's a combination of all of that. As for a name? [COLOR="DarkGreen"][B]The Crispiest[/B][/COLOR] of course! Cheesy but to the point. The wrapper would of course be a nice [COLOR="YellowGreen"]forest green color[/COLOR] with a [COLOR="DarkGreen"]darker green text[/COLOR] on the main paper wrapped around the shiny forest green foil that was around the actual chocolate.[/FONT][/COLOR]
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[size=1]Dark chocolate covered espresso beans are heavenly, but they also make me crazy. The last time I picked 'em up at a starbucks, I was filled with an urge to scrub my boyfriend's (& roommates) kitchen (...quite scary, I'll tell you), wash his floor with paper towels, pace room to room, do yoga/striptease stretches, dance, and thoroughly terrified him by harassing him all night.

After two months of not touching chocolate, I had a JD-filled chocolate and I spent 11 hours cleaning my room last night. Not just cleaning, though. I rearranged the whole thing so my bookshelves moved diagonally, my desk made a 90 degree turn across the room, my bed's also flipped 90 degrees, and I scrubbed the floor by hand and rearranged my bookshelf and arranged my magazines chronologically.

I think I'll go out for some gourmet dark chocolate-covered almonds before I tackle my closet ...[/size]
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[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][COLOR="Green"]MMMMMM.....I would definetly be a dark 80% Cacao chocolate Hersheys bar. OMG those bars are to die for. When I'm PMSing or really craving chocolate thats what I go for. I used to like milk chocolate, but I find it really hurts my teeth now so I like dark chocolate better and its also healthier for you. MMMM...Dark chocolate covered pretzels or strawberries. I'm making my own mouth water ^^.[/COLOR][/FONT]
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[quote name='2007DigitalBoy'][COLOR="DarkOrange"]I would be melted.

...>_> *hates chocolate*[/COLOR][/QUOTE]You and me both, I've tried to like chocolate, I've simply taken it when offered, but in the end? I don't really care for it. Unless it's in something like chocolate chip cookies. Those are good, but an actual chocolate bar? Meh, not my thing. Especially if it's one of those supposedly really rich and creamy types. Those are even worse.
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[FONT="Trebuchet MS"][SIZE="1"]If I were a chocolate, I would be one that weren't as soft as the idea behind this thread...

Hmm, I guess that makes me bitter.

I would be a slab of 70% Cocoa Lindt chocolate with Orange Crisp.

After all these years, I still love the orange ^_^[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[SIZE="1"][COLOR="Navy"]I'd be a milk chocolate candy bar. Within the bar would be flakes of almond with a light dark chocolate drizzle on the top. I'd be tetris-y looking so it can break apart with ease (and if you have a bunch of friends that are too lazy to buy their own). The wrapper itself would be sleek and black, chocolateLOVE in a script-like lettering. On the lower right hand corner would be a small tidbit "An orgasm of pure chocolatey joy <3'

That's one sexily good candy bar.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[SIZE="1"][B]Irish Love[/B].

An after-dinner Irish milk-chocolate sphere, think Ferrero Rocher, that acts like a powerful aphrodisiac. Comes in batches of two, because I believe in monogamy :p, and the container contains a small recording device that plays Hadaway' "[b]What is Love[/b]" to get them even more in the mood, and because I love that song. Alternative it may play "[B]Easy Love[/b]" for the same reasons.

Obviously it would be an expensive chocolate, as I don't want any old person to be sucking on my chocolate balls. And yes, that was a paraphrasing from South Park. :animesmil[/SIZE]
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[COLOR="goldenrod"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Well I'm not a big chocolate person, but when I do have it I like it to have something in it like almonds. So if I was a chocolate, I'd be a light chocolate with almonds and a hint of mint flavoring. Now that would be tasty! Don't know what name I'd use though. However the wrapper would have to have pink in there somewhere. Definitely a nice pretty hot pink! [/FONT][/COLOR]
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  • 4 weeks later...
[size=1][COLOR="Indigo"]If anyone who knows me, knows that I am a complete sucker (no pun intended ;) ) for [b]chocolate-covered cherries[/b]. If I were a candy/chocolate, this is most definitely what I would love to be. A shell of sweet, crispy not-so-milk-chocolate chocolatey-ness; filled with a sweet cherry liquor that bursts in your mouth after a savoring bite. Nestled safely, and discreetly, in the smooth ocean of liquid would be the ultamite reward of a soft, juicy cherry that not only is surrounded by chocolate, but has a thin coat of hard candy. Just for an extra kick.

Sort of sexy and seducing. Inticing you for "just one more".

My wrapping? Nothing too special, really. A simple, royal purple foil snuggling each candy. I would then have a small, black-lacquered box with black velvet lining. There would be two rows of eight cherries that sit in dips made to cater their size. And on the cover of the box would spell out something dark like [i]Death by Cherry[/i] or [i]Annie[/i] in silver, gothic script.[/size][/COLOR]
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