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Aberinkula

Yawn... drama

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[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]well, just a few hours ago the craziest stuff happened. What's worse is that one force is driving the problems, secrets. It seems every secret me and my friend have are connected. My friend has a secret about my best friend that she can't tell me, and she has a secret of mine she can't tell him!

Anyways, as you all know, I had this girlfriend, we were still friends. But suddenly she tells my friend (the girl with the secrets) that she is being used by him (the guy who can't know my secret) and that everyone jumps to him and stuff like that. And then my ex stopped talking to my friend, deleted her off of myspace than told me she never wants to talk to me again.

Anyways, that inspired me to ask, what was it like for you in 8th grade? How much drama was going on, what happened (if you want to tell >_<)And what advice can you give that could be used to solve the drama and return to your happy life.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[color=#4B0082]I was homeschooled so I didn't have to deal with anything like that. I spent my days playing videos games, reading, and hanging out with a few also-homeschooled friends who were also-not idiots. It was blissfully free of drama and some of the funnest days of my childhood.

Feel free to be jealous.[/color]

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I wasn't homeschooled but I never had the drama that you seem to land yourself in Prem. Short of telling you to avoid people who insist on secrets that eventually get out and cause nothing but trouble... I think it's going to just continue until you get a little older and leave some of the drama behind.[I] Hopefully. [/I]

I really don't have much in the way of advice on that. I avoided drama by staying away from people in my school who had a knack for turning [I]anything[/I] into a soap opera. It helped that I had friends who were pretty level headed considering that we were immature teens at the time.

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Yeah 8th grade is basically the ***** year were everything is blown completely out of proportion. Unless this girl's reasons are really strong tell her to get over it. The best thing to do in these situations is to act mature and tell everyone to stop winging. It aint really bad until someone gets beaten up, stabbed etc.

8th grade aint nothing wait till you start exams or going to Uni thats when the **** hits the fan especially if you dont like the subjects your doing.

=_____=||||

I hope this solve ya problem XD.

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[size=1][color=#4863A0]Heh, my doesn't this seem familiar?

I remember those days. 8th grade, where I come from, is considered the "drama" stage. Everyone is starting to mature little by little, boyfriends and girlfriends might start to become somewhat serious, hormones are raging, cliques start to develop, and everyone blows everything way out of proportion. For me, 8th grade was when I started trying to get away from that drama, however it followed me all the way through high school. Now that I am in college, and I look back and think, why did I even really care?

The truth is, eventually that situation will subside and a new one will arise. Thats just how it works. Drama comes and goes. There have been plenty of times where I thought some of my best friends in middle and high school were never going to talk to me ever again. I just let the situation cool down, and eventually, we started talking again. Some of those people I still talk to to this day. I would say don't even worry about it, but I know you are going too. ^_^

There is a lot of stubborness with people around your age as well. Its the hormones I think. But just try to get everyone in involved to talk about the situation and handle it as maturely as possible. Almost like an intervention. If they aren't willing to do that, then like I said before, just let the whole thing cool off. Don't keep talking to different people about the situation because from my experience it will only make it worse. Gossip feeds drama.

So, I don't really know. But again, I wouldn't worry. I think alot of us have made it through plenty of those situations. We may have lost people as friends because of melo-dramatic situations such as this one, maybe not. But the worst thing that can come out of this is exactly that. There are plenty of people who I'm sure you'll meet through life that would love to be friends with you. So stick through it, try to straighten things out in the maturist way possible, and hope for the best.

Good luck.[/size][/color]

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[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]@ Ledzepplinrules, yes my name is after the TMV song, TMV is secks.

But thanks for the advice so far... yeah get this, shes talking to us two again >_> These things solve themselves, huh?[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[quote name='Aberinkula][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]>_> These things solve themselves, huh?[/SIZE'][/COLOR][/quote]
[FONT=Arial]Like most unimportant drama-fests do.

Seems like your crowd gets all bent out of shape over the silliest things, man. You sure you guys aren't just lookin' for angst? :p[/FONT]

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[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]No Allamorph I just think OB has some weird spirit stalking me cause everytime I post about my life problems, they solve themselves the next day >.<[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]@ Ledzepplinrules, yes my name is after the TMV song, TMV is secks.

But thanks for the advice so far... yeah get this, shes talking to us two again >_> These things solve themselves, huh?[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[color=#4863A0][size=1]Always does.

Like I said, let things cool down, and then everything will be back to normal. I've had plenty of experiences like the one you have described. Try not to get too worked up about them.[/size][/color]

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I skipped 8th grade, and all my high school drama always seemed to happen to my friends, so I was pretty safe from that. It was the at home drama and other semi-related to my house dramas that caused problems.

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Well...

8th grade was about the year that there must have been some kind of public vote, nominating me as the kid that everyone made fun of.

I avoided the drama as much as possible. (Mostly because I was shocked that my former best friends were in on the public humiliation) I won't go into details for the sake of everyone on the boards.

But to add to the situation, an acquaintance, (one of those annoying people who give you bad vibes) would not let up. He would do things bad on purpose and see if he could get me and my other friends in trouble. He was one of those really manipulative people who thought it was fun to get under my skin.

It's a bad time. Those years are filled with irrational thoughts and reasoning, raging hormones, and the development of a social hierarchy.

It sucks.

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[quote name='Darren']....and the development of a social hierarchy.[/quote]
[FONT=Arial]You have seriously got to be kidding me. That system is usually already in place by that age.

[QUOTE]=Aberinkula][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]No Allamorph I just think OB has some weird spirit stalking me cause everytime I post about my life problems, they solve themselves the next day >.<[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
That's exactly what I'm talking about. It looks bigger than it really is. (^_^)[/FONT]

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[SIZE="1"]Drama in 8th gade? No. I never had any. I was shy, but I had a lot of friends, and I didn't keep anything bad from them. The only secerts I kept was my love for Dragonball Z, lol! I was embarressed, but that eventually changed and then everyone knew and it was all cool. :p

Your still a kid in eigth grade, so I don't understand why people that age even get drama.[/SIZE]

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[FONT="Palatino Linotype"]I just finished my 8th grade year less than a week ago.

But yeah, there was a lot of drama. I tried to stay away from it, and my friends didn't allow me to get caught in the drama. Fortunately, I was that person that sorta fit in with every group, but at the same time, had a lot of people that disliked me. So I was caught in the middle of the drama no matter how hard I tried to stay away from it.[/FONT]

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[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]well, just a few hours ago the craziest stuff happened. What's worse is that one force is driving the problems, secrets. It seems every secret me and my friend have are connected. My friend has a secret about my best friend that she can't tell me, and she has a secret of mine she can't tell him!

Anyways, as you all know, I had this girlfriend, we were still friends. But suddenly she tells my friend (the girl with the secrets) that she is being used by him (the guy who can't know my secret) and that everyone jumps to him and stuff like that. And then my ex stopped talking to my friend, deleted her off of myspace than told me she never wants to talk to me again.

Anyways, that inspired me to ask, what was it like for you in 8th grade? How much drama was going on, what happened (if you want to tell >_<)And what advice can you give that could be used to solve the drama and return to your happy life.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="HotPink"]...What the hell did you just say? Really... I don't see how any of this could've turned out like that... Of course. Pre-teen girls are NOT cool, unless they want to cuddle or kiss.. or be sweet... stuff like that. THEN. They're cool. Whatever is going on sounds like it could've been avoided if there was no talk of secrets. Ignore all these secrets. They don't matter. Hang in there Rick. There's alot of pre-teen girls out there for you.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

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[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Hunter... she's older than me... T_T And I'll be 15 in 2 months and 8 days... T_T

Anyways, I'm done with her anyways, I'm sick of being pushed around whenever she's mad at me, and I'm sick of crap... so as long as we don't talk I'm fine... there's just the matter of the rest of the drama that follows, in other words, I think she's more trouble than I need right now.

And it's because of a misunderstanding (of coarse) that I'm lossing another friendship.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Hunter... she's older than me... T_T And I'll be 15 in 2 months and 8 days... T_T

Anyways, I'm done with her anyways, I'm sick of being pushed around whenever she's mad at me, and I'm sick of crap... so as long as we don't talk I'm fine... there's just the matter of the rest of the drama that follows, in other words, I think she's more trouble than I need right now.

And it's because of a misunderstanding (of coarse) that I'm lossing another friendship.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="HotPink"]I know how you feel... I said the same thing with my last girlfriend. I was done with her pushing me around... But then... looking back.. I could've put more effort into our relationship... And now, I miss her more than ever. She too, was like... a year older than me. But, I know what it means to be truly mature. And her new boyfriend is... uh.. let's see. Two years older than me. But I couldn't be happier for them... He really is a great guy.

I'm miserable being so lonely, but you know... there's more girls... I guess.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

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I'm one of those odd people that can shrug off almost any drama with a goofy grin and a swear word or two. When I can't, I just ignore the cause(s) of the drama until it solves itself...I'm usually too lazy to have a hand in it.:animeswea

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[quote name='Aberinkula][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]And it's because of a misunderstanding (of coarse) that I'm lossing another friendship.[/SIZE'][/COLOR][/quote]
[FONT=Arial]Sucks, I know. I've [I]still[/I] got one on the rocks because of a misunderstanding.

Lemme tell ya something about myself, man. When I was in the fifth grade, my family relocated to Tennessee because of job stability issues at the plant where my father worked. I understood completely at the time, but regardless, it meant that I was completely uprooted from all the friends I had made and forced to start from scratch in a foreign environment.

My mother found a local homeschooling "co-op" group and tried to plug in, but I think she quickly realized that those teaching in it were not academically competent?just as I quickly realized that my peers were not socially competent. (And given that this is [I]me[/I] talking, that's saying something.) So I ended up in public school PDQ.

This presented me with another serious handicap: I was not only an outsider, but an outsider who could outperform ninety percent of my class with minimal effort at all, and no hubris. (Curse my objectivity.) If I had been less smart I would have streamlined into the social strata, but because I was "upper echelon", I was automatically estranged; new kids shouldn't know all the answers and still look bored, or read [I][U]Moby Dick[/U][/I] for the hell of it. (An act I thoroughly regret.) Knowing this, I spent basically the entirety of my sixth grade year watching and not intruding where I wasn't outright invited. If people came to me, I let them and opened back in exchange; otherwise, I didn't interfere. I made a few acquaintances, but no serious friendships.

The same thing happened the next year, and it wasn't until I was even in the eighth grade that I began forming hard relationships. And even then I kept things tenuous, because almost no one possessed the combination of discernment and control that I could resonate with?I didn't want to find another clone of me, but I prefer hanging out with intelligent people who don't like to start conflicts for no reason and don't enjoy being jerks. Kinda hard to come by on the west side of that town. (I think one of my coworkers recently described it as "all this ghetto bull****". Translated: people who ain't nobody and think they [I]are[/I] somebody.)

So although I can make friends really quickly if I decide I want to, I generally don't. I wait and watch, and if someone decides they want to find out if I'm really as creepy and arrogant (I'm still trying to figure that one out) as I seem, then I'll give them the chance, but if they are fine with assumptions then I don't really mind letting them continue their self-deception.

All this to say, because of this habit I have ended up being surrounded by friends who don't get bothered by the little things and don't flip out unless there's a definite reason for flipping out. I saw plenty of drama happening the entire time I was in school, but I chose the group who by and large were immune to trivial wastes of time and preferred to laugh at stupidity instead of blowing it out of the water.

That, and I had a very profound conversation with my uncle the summer after my sixth grade year which left a permanent impression how to deal with the little things. But that's another epistle.

So my real advice? If she wants to break all ties, let her. Find people who don't blow up for no reason at all. Find people with heads on their shoulders. And if your "image" gets in the way, start altering it a little at a time. I mean, my image still suffers because the majority of my T-shirts are black or red. Got nothin' green or orange or light blue or whatever, so sometimes I accidentally look goth, especially with my massive black overcoat. (Which has literally sent people running and screaming away from me. :p) Don't search for people who will "accept" you for "who you are", because I guarantee you that's not who you are. Wait for them to come to you; don't help them, but don't shove them away either.

Trust me, man. I've been doing that very thing for eleven years, and I can literally pick my enemies. If I don't want you near me, you'll hate my guts. Otherwise I just wait.[/FONT]

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[COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][quote name='Aberinkula;814672][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"] I'll be 15 in 2 months and 8 days... T_T[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]o_O And here I thought you already were 15 since that's what it says in your profile.[QUOTE=Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Anyways, I'm done with her anyways, I'm sick of being pushed around whenever she's mad at me, and I'm sick of crap... so as long as we don't talk I'm fine... there's just the matter of the rest of the drama that follows, in other words, I think she's more trouble than I need right now.

And it's because of a misunderstanding (of coarse) that I'm lossing another friendship.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]Allamorph already covered it really well, but avoiding people who turn things int a drama fest has been the easiest way for me to avoid all the drama I see other friends going through.

It has meant that I have less friends since others assume I'm being arrogant and snobbish when I refuse to join the bandwagon of ranting over silly things. I've been laughed at for refusing to take illegal drugs or join in the so-called fun of spreading secrets.

But in the end those people weren't really true friends anyway and I'll take a handful of genuine smart friends who don't dramatize things over a whole class room of idiots any day. [/FONT][/COLOR]

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[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]No Allamorph I just think OB has some weird spirit stalking me cause everytime I post about my life problems, they solve themselves the next day >.<[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]So should we just post and say... come back tomorrow and if you still have the problem we'll give you advice?

Anyway, I am sorry you're losing another friendship. Allamorph already gave good advise on that so I'll not repeat it.

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[quote name='Aaryanna'][COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]o_O And here I thought you already were 15 since that's what it says in your profile.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[color=#4863A0][size=1]Oh, busted. lol.

But seriously, everything everyone has said is completely true. No secrets, no gossip, and no teeny bopper relationships unless its an actual relationship.[/size][/color]

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In 8th grade I was a shut in. Just like I am now. Drama is boring. That's why I don't get into it.

Anyhoo why does everyone has to keep secrets eh? Why not just tell the truth? Your in 8th grade it most likely isn't that serious.

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