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Life's Lovely Little Lessons


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Welcome one and all to another exciting instalment of WTF WERE YOU THINKING? featuring the little lessons we all learn the hard way (not to mention in the most embarasing way possible :wacko: ) On the otherhand, may we post such lessons here for all to wonder and laugh about... and feel sympathy when we've done the same thing.

Life Lesson #1: While using glow-in-the-dark condoms, it is unwise to tell your boyfriend "may the force be with you". It ruins the night
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[quote name='Inuyasha Fandom' date='13 August 2010 - 05:47 PM' timestamp='1281746848' post='699373']
Life Lesson #1: While using glow-in-the-dark condoms, it is unwise to tell your boyfriend "may the force be with you". It ruins the night
[/quote]
what are you talking about... if (s)he can make star wars jokes during bedtalk thats a keeper.

GROSS [spoiler]however a bedroom no-no would definitly be if its hot outside... do it in a pool or the shower... avod the bed at all cost (when you both start sweating rivers that really ruins your fun.[/spoiler]
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Well this thread has been (mostly) disgusting so far. Let's try to remedy that now, shall we?

[b]Life Lesson:[/b] Always keep track of your dates, especially assignment, work or payment due dates. Write it down if you must. 'Cause you never know when you'll go into English class and find that the portfolio worth 50% of your grade is due NOW, not on Wednesday like you thought.
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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
  • 4 weeks later...
[color="#0000FF"][font="Comic Sans MS"]Life lesson: Always watch where you walk, you never know when you might step into some sort of poo. Be it literally, or figuratively.

Life Lesson # 2 (for mothers & fathers) : Little kids are always smarter than they let you believe, if you think they can't open the windows and throw toys into the front yard, your probably wrong.

Life Lesson # 3: Always wait for your eyes to adjust in the dark before you begin to walk through your house; no matter how well you think you have it memorized you'll always wind up running into something.

And last but not least...

Life Lesson # 4: Never assume that when your in your own little world, no one is watching...someone will always be watching and never let you live down whatever goofy thing they see you do.[/font][/color]
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  • 4 weeks later...
Ah.... the sheer awesomness lol

When wrapping gifts, remember that your cat loves ribbon and will use her claws when she pounces. Don't bleed on the gifts.


(For the primping beauty queen) Curling your hair naked seems like a brilliant idea. However, it loses all appeal when you are running your burned nipple under cold water.

Diet coke will not settle an upset stomach when feeling like you're going to puke. It will, however, make for fizzy vomit.

Never leave the bathroom window open in the middle of winter. As your tongue can stick to a cold metal poll, your butt can stick to a cold porcelain seat

Cookies a few minutes out of the oven are warm and delicious. Cookies directly out of the oven are still 375 degrees.

If you sleep in the nude and you wake up hearing your boyfriend talking, never assume he's talking to the dog. The cable guy might enjoy the show when you walk out of your bedroom, but you still wont get any free channels. Edited by Inuyasha Fandom
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NEVER, under any circumstances, throw a party the night before you're supposed to have relatives visit. Your grandmother WILL walk in to your flooded, party favor and booze bottle strewn apartment as you're trying to figure out what the hell happened, why you have a tweety bird tattoo, and when the hell your tongue got peirced in the course of the events of the previous night.
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[font="Comic Sans MS"][color="#000080"]Never jump to conclusions. they can wind up being your downfall.

Think before you speak, or txt. You never know when your boyfriend/girlfriend will wanna know what you and your friends talk about and take an inside joke all wrong.

Just cause you think it's funny, does not mean everyone around you will agree.

Built up frustration is never a good thing, let it out before you do anything that involves knives or other tools of destruction. You might just end up taking it out on something you didn't intend to.

Not all mother in laws are horrible. Some are nice. Never judge.

When in doubt, ask. When positive...still ask. You might not always be right.

Just because your logic is telling you something isn't right doesn't mean you should listen to it, your brain is not the only organ that has a mind of it's own. Listen to your heart every now and than. You'll be surprised how different the opinion is. [/color][/font]
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When drinking always be aware of your hands. Sometimes they can lead themselves astray.

When drunk, make sure the woman hitting on you isn't wearing a ring. If she is stop.

If you get to her place anyway, leave if you see a picture of her and another man.

If you fail this one, leave when you see two night stands by the bed.

If you fail this too, leave when you hear a door open.

If you fail here, you will definitely leave when you hear her husband tell you to 'keep it up soldier'.

(This is based on a true story that will haunt me to the grave.)
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After being finished with the swing you have hanging on your living room ceiling, remember to put it away. Otherwise, when mommy comes over you'll have some interesting comments and a very awkward conversation about safe sex.

Also, keep in mind your mother might ask to borrow it. Edited by ExcelExcel
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[font="Comic Sans MS"][color="#000080"]To add to yours Excel...

Always makes sure you find studs for things like that...if they aren't put it just right you never know when you'll fall flat on your face in the middle of 'it'.

Don't ask, Don't tell....actually means something...don't ask.[/color][/font]
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