Guest ScirosDarkblade Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 It's quite possible this topic has already been done, but what the heck. Anyway, there's that "Best NES games" thread here that I was reading, and I got to thinking about what NES games I own. Turns out that while I do own almost all the greats, I do have quite a collection of real stinkers. And I mean they're BAD. Real bad. So, then, what's the crappiest game you've ever played? You can go console by console just to keep it fair, because obviously the worst PC game ever is gonna be just a tad bit worse than the worst Xbox game ever. I think. I'm first: NES - [i]Amagon[/i]. Jesus Christ was this game horrendous. Anyone played it? It was a side-scroller where you had a lousy gun, poor jumping abilities, and were fighting snakes and bees while listening to very annoying music. One hit deaths and not enough lives to do anything. But when you got some crappy-arse powerup you became Megagon, the worst excuse for a Hercules ripoff I've ever seen. Ugh, I don't want to talk about it. SNES - [i]Rise of the Robots[/i]. I think this means I didn't play too many bad games, because Robots did have the best SNES graphics ever, and pretty cool music. But believe me, its gameplay dragged that game into the pits of despair. It's a fighting game with, I SWEAR, seven moves: punch, kick, low punch, low kick, jump punch, jump kick, block (I think there was a block; I'm not sure). Eight if you count jump as a separate move. So there was zero strategy or skill to the game. Zero. If you played that game for a year, you'd be as crappy/awesome as you were the first time you played it. On top of that, if you played vs., player 1 could only use one character. One friggin' character. To use any character (for a grand total of 6 or something) you had to enter a secret code which I lost a long time ago. It might be on GameFAQs, but most likely not because that game deseves zero web space. On a side note, I never played Shaq Fu. Playstation - [i]Castlevania: Symphony of the Night[/i]. Guess how many Playstation games I have played? Hehe, yeah that's right. N64 - Ok this is a tough one, because I only have good games and I don't remember the crappy ones I played... this will be stupid. I'm gonna have to say [i]Pokemon Snap![/i] because I swear that is the crappiest game I've played on N64. It was boring as hell, and 140 of the 151 original Pokemon look really stupid. PS2 - [i]Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution[/i]. Without a doubt. I know a lot of people liked it and EGM and IGN and Gamepro and Gamespy and every other moron reviewer out there loved it to death, but if I can beat an experienced player with my eyes closed (which I can), then it's just not for me. I want a skill-based fighter, not a "fighting game for stubborn people who refuse to play better fighting games just to spite me." Or at least a fighting game which doesn't have, exclusively, the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life. "Gritty realism" my balls. I don't remember which reviewer said that, but they can suck it. When DOA3 has been out since around the X-box launch, realism and Virtua Fighter shouldn't even be in the same sentence. X-Box - [i]Hunter: the Reckoning[/i]. How do you make multiplayer hack-n-slash completely and demoralizingly boring? Ask the developers of this bowser, they know pretty darn well. I've never had this little fun playing a game for ten minutes. Shame on my cousing for buying it. Gamecube - [i]Billy Hatcher[/i]. Or [i]NFL 2k3[/i]. I guess that means that if I had played a random football game on another console, I'd probably consider that the worst game I'd played there. But I haven't. Anyway, Billy Hatcher was just retarded. Horrible. The worst platformer I've ever seen, and it surprises me, because all you have to do is completely rip off something like Banjo Kazooie, stealing every idea under the sun, and you'd have a better game on all levels. NFL 2k3, I don't want to talk about. It was just too stupid. I don't like football much anyway, and this game was less fun than watching a fat guy pick at his toenails with my driver's license. I can't believe my brother paid $10 for that piece of dirt. PC - [i]Asheron's Call 2[/i]. It's probably not the WORST game, but it's pretty darn bad. Let's start with music. There is no music. It's weird woohooowoohoo ambient noise. There's no fighting mechanic to speak of. Run up to a monster and click until you die (the monsters don't die usually). You level up by cursing at the game an indefinite amount of times. Oh oh, then there's the weapon crafting. Pure genius. Let me explain it: ok to craft a "crappy-arse sword" you need to first learn how to craft the "piece of dirt sword" but before that you need to be able to craft the "you-call-this-a-weapon?-sword." No problem, right? Well to even get an attempt at crafting something you have to collect some bullcrap rare items and about 3000 gold. This takes about a month, because each beetle or bee (the only enemies that are killable) carries about 1 or 2 gold. As for the rare items, well you get those by running through a dungeon with a shield over your arsehole and hopefully making it all the way to some treasure chest. Then, once you've killed 2000 bees and are walking funny due to your dungeon experiences, you get a chance to craft the crap sword. But the attempt fails! That's a month down the toilet! Along with $15! And that's not all. The game also lagged like heck (I had a T3 connection at the time) and would occasionally freeze. Though it wouldn't freeze in the "game world," where I was, unbeknownst to me, attacked by a one-legged lesser goblin and unable to defend myself. So when the game would finally resume on my screen, I was on the ground dead. On top of that, the game had the coolest habit of crashing my comp. And in wild and exotic ways. I'd be playing the game, and suddenly, without any warning, my computer would be REBOOTING!! There's no way to manually reboot your computer with the lightning speed that the game managed to. Not even if you click the power supply off-on and then immediately press the power button on your tower. Ah, I loved that game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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