Mitch

[color=red] They are all very nice...I really like the second one. That was wonderful. Yet again, they flow so freely, and I just love that so much. Keep it up, I can't get enough![/color]

[size=1][color=red] Here's some more of my poetry from my rather depressing days I've been having. Today I admit I do feel much better, though. Oh, and I'll be gone this Wednesday-Sunday...so, it may be quite some time 'till I post any new poems. But, enjoy these, if you do, for they are my inner demons. Well, maybe not the first, but the second certainly is.[/size] [b][u][i]Inferiority Complex[/b][/u] A frailty pokes from miss-begotten dust frail small ray of hope, a grasp of trust yet, weak it is and weak are you take it not, did you but from that frailty did bloom a burning flare of bright from heaven sent blow grasped miss-begotten, melded timely and forgotten lessons of learn did you miss from that forgotten seeder of the horrid dust as weak then as it was, now is it as strong inferior to eyes of perfect atonement mask but to true seeing eyes experienced in long augment foolhardy it 'twas to pass pass upon the one stance which gave chance if I were to show you it now would I hope you see the flaw which is beauty for that be what it 'tis become? grown from the labors of its fruit into something greater than that of mind grown it has from frailty, it has prospered even from the most dilapidated ruin has it become grew yet, follow through pass did you lost within melancholy doom now, that I see upon this face do you intensely rue [b][u]Let love be that of death[/b][/u] The past, that hath gone the dead, they hath long died that of my feeling, I doth compare now, I doth be gone piec'd and piec'd weep'd and weep'd withal, I hath left only partaways pieces durst now lain taketh now these but flatters of paper these torn wishes thee marr'd take them of all I need not of 'em, for they be that of not mine what of 'em were of mine art now thine and dead hath long died as love long stabb'd, it hath perpetually died only to be the phoenix of flame and blind'ngly, it hath foreto come back each time piec'd and more skeletal than gone should this be the last time, for dead sho'ld be deemed gone to mar that parenthesis long'r as thee hath done is to overst'y ye end of perpetual that be why the pieces I finally doth let flutter thus I cry scream, let 'em be dead let 'em rot and ne'er again be then sought for thine an' all mine hearts hath been long therefore that I ask only for thee good'ess o' heart taketh mine stoned black ashes let that past long o'er gone taketh mine death as well as thine 'nd let 'em bury all that doth pain all that durst lay down the piece burn all of thine, burn these of all interdictions burn 'em with thou gone pasts thou gone deaths mine as well as all an' let not these ashes of hot hell become that of the damned phoenix lest perpetual motion hath then begun but taketh it an' let gone be longest of all gones as the past hath done and the dead hath long ended been lessen thine firmed bondages of kept hell pained an' let shower rain wash away of this tainted stain fool'sh hath been thee as that of foolhardy rain alas I doth repent this from ye for fools are only tears of hot burning pain that we hath both been, I durst now say, felled and regoned alas the future hath yet to come an' fools are there as done let us be not there 'n eye with that thus taketh the past, taketh the dead, let it all be gone for our hearts doth need song and need we to go on, as future hath gone[/color][/i]

[color=red] Although this isn't spam or anything, there [i]was[/i] a thread quite similar to this one earlier before. But, I suppose I'll leave it open. It isn't hurting anything. As long as it doesn't turn into a mud-sling over nothing such as it is already becoming, I'll keep it open. As Zidane said, use this to pay respects...although there was a thread quite similar, I do believe some people did not voice their opinions, or were to cowardly to do so. So, my decision rests. I suppose eventually I will pay mine respects as well...but, I have not enough time, and I'm going to be leaving tommorow, and won't be back until Sunday.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Lady Asphyxia [/i] [B][color=darkred] Critism [i]is[/i] always welcome. Do you know, I havce never had [i]anybody[/i] tell me when my work is crap, and so I never know what I've done wrong when I get bad marks at school. So critise, damnit! ^.^ okay. I'm at school, and can't take long. And sorry for any errors, this keyboard is horrible, and so is the mouse. -.- [/color] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=red] Ok, if so be it. I shall dawn mine evil cap of evilness death MWHAHAHH... Ok, this one isn't better at all in comparison to Perfection. It's so obvious it was contrived, that it is fake, that it ruined it all for me. Plus, I just didn't feel the emotion I did in Perfection. And being a fake and pulling it off is what all writers learn to do, as you shall eventually, I do suppose. Delve more into the emotions of the characters rather than just throwing it in our faces and saying 'yeh, here' actually tell of the emotion. Also, don't make time pass so fast. It makes it even that much more obvious that it is fake, being that the transition and change within characters is hard to amount. Although, I do admit, for a 9th grader, this is pretty [i]damn[/i] good, if I shall say so. If I were you I'd rewrite most of this and present it the better to us here.[/color]

[color=red] I also voted for Juu via how secluded and sad she has become from being evicted from most of the boards. Also 'cause she's one of my best buddies thusly far here ^^[/color]

[color=red] It's been awhile since I've been able to talk to you other than via AOL...so, I suppose I will join :) [b][i][u]Andy Bogard[/b][/i][/u] [i][b]Fighting Style Kopo-[/b]ken and Shiranui Ninjitsu [b]Birthdate:[/b] 16th August [b]Age:[/b] 23 years old [b]Birthplace:[/b] America [b]Blood Group:[/b] A+ [b]Height:[/b] 172 cm [b]Weight:[/b] 67 kg [b]Hobbies:[/b] Training [b]Favourite Food:[/b] Spaghetti ala Natto (fermented soy beans) [b]Favourite Sports:[/b] Short track [b]Most important thing:[/b] Photographs taken during his training Hates most Dogs [b]Moves:[/b] Sho Ryu Dan Zan Ei Ken Ryuushi Ken Chou Reppa Dan Gen'ei Shiranui Uwa Agito[/i] Uh, you need to clear up what these moves do for me...er...either that, or remove that altogether. Because I do think it will only get in the way of the RPG. But, it's up to you, Juu ^^[/color]

[color=red] Same with me. It seems everyday a hammer slowly beats at my skin, slowly drawing away my will and life. The only ways I've found a slow and slight escape is from writing. That is all I do usually when I'm pained. Just do anything with which to expell your feelings. Write a poem, or multiple poems, such as I have, or have a talk with someone. And mainly, be optimistic. Although I've lost optimism a few times these days, I quickly come back to it, and we quickly become reknowing of one another.[/color]

[color=red] This one I have to admit I do like more. But, yet again, the rhyming is very forced, and it makes all else seem fake and unemotional from my stand point. Although it is rather cute, I do believe you could improve it greatly. Just don't force yourself to rhyme. It makes writing so much better and easier upon your part and ours.[/color]

[color=red] Very melancholy. I didn't realize the first piece of this was actually a true story. And, yet, I know that you say this is fictisious, yet I know that some of it, maybe the emotions, the pain, is true. I really don't know you, Lady A, but this piece was quite dawning and compassionate upon me. Of course, certainly it could be improved, but where it is is fine. I hope that you will continue this little story, it gives me insight into your pain as well as your motives. Keep going, and don't stop. That's all I say.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Deus Ex Machina [/i] [B] So yeah... my point is.. "just because it doesn't seem to mean as much, doesn't mean it's pointless".. [/B][/QUOTE] [color=red] I didn't blatantly say this was pointless, but I suppose that is what I was implying. Well, I've decided to truthfully and justfully give a positive side of review and try to give Corn some suggestions... Ok, first and foremost, I do like it. I just don't like the fact that it seems so much of that like a song. I think you should stay more concetrated on one thing, and grow on it. But, that may not be the way you want it, so just ignore that advice if you so see fit. Secondly, this would be the most important, is that it seems you suffer your writing to what I'd like to call 'forced rhyming', now, in some cases it isn't quite bad, but in this case, it sticks out like a sore thumb, and blocks my view of the picture. Don't try to force yourself to rhyme when writing. It usually never works. Just let the words flow freely from your lips, your pen, just let them all garble out until you believe you've painted a picture of words. Other than that, I now believe I should admit that I do not hate this, I just dislike it. Hate is to strong a word in this case. Now, I do believe you have a talent at writing. Everyone does. It's just those that decide to stay with it and become friendly with it that tap the full extent of it. So, now that I've set things straight, I'd like to say I'd love to see some more of your writing whether I like it or not.[/color]

[color=red] It's not annoying unless people post multiple times about the same thing that someone else just said condemning the thread maker. But what really makes me mad is when a member will denying they were 'playing mod' as it's so harshly put here. Especially when they argue a mods good intentions of closing a thread, telling the person to stop playing mod, and other such nonsense. That is where I think it crosses the line. Just because I said that 'playing mod' isn't all that bad, does not mean that it should happen, though. I know your guys' intentions for helping, but, that's not your jobs, it's mine, and all the other mods here. You are here to be a member and enjoy yourself, not let these trivial power struggles get into the way.[/color]

[color=red] Yes, what Axel said. I'd certainly like to help. I'm mostly good at writing, and making up ideas, I suppose. So, if you'd like me to help, lay it down.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sara [/i] [B][size=1]...and sometimes it's good to be light-hearted. Think about it.[/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=red] I usually am that way. But, sorry, I suppose. I'm not in an all to good mood at the moment. I'm quite not myself. Mmmm....I'm usually quite light hearted. But, sorry.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sara [/i] [B][SIZE=1]I resent that. :p [edit]My apologies. I resent that, in a humorous way, as I have always viewed books as being 'above' movies and television. [/SIZE] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=red] I resent it to. Bah. Well, at least change it to what you said James, that's enough for me. Then I'll start a mad group of zealous fanatics to get it made into its own forum. Mwhahahah. I'm so...evil.[/color]

[color=red] Yup. What Rae said... We really don't know exactly why, but it has something to do with the deletion of Newbie Lounge.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sara [/i] [B][size=1]Sometimes it's okay to just write for fun, Mitch.[/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=red] Mmm..I could now self destruct at you, but I'l rather say this: I do write for fun. And all fun isn't always good. Sorry, I'm in a rather bad mood at the moment...my parents are yet again arguing. If I didn't like to write, and did not find it fun, I would've quit long ago, Sara. You know that to be true. I was just telling my true feelings about it... It sounded to rappy and so on to me...[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by neoakira70 [/i] [B]hi there i need help u all might think this is corny BUT i wanna write a poem for this girl i like, buts its harder than i originally thought this is what i got so far: You're as beautiful as the sky is blue, You infect my heart like a flu, My feelings for you are true, I wanna know if you feel the same too? Please help [/B][/QUOTE] [color=red] Well, even though you already read it, I'll give a shot.. [i]The sky glows true, and that is as you infectious climb it is so true that I would climb into thine sky fret out thy hearted regions even if I shall come back with not that I wanted to fact I would still have my heart held to you keeping thought of all turn to blue[/i][/color]

[color=red] Well, I'll tell you the blunt truth of my opinion... I don't like it. I like the beat, but all the rest of it, I rather loathe. I mean, it seems to have no point, nothing which I can grasp and feel some kind of love and admiration and understanding for. And with a poem, it needs to have a firm point, and grow on it, and think about it deeply.[/color]

[color=red] [i] Nepenthe had glared at me...a nerving stare that made me feel a tinge of guilt, but I let it quickly be gone. In the end of it all, I didn't really rather care, so I sat back down, letting them discuss the nonsense which already they all knew. I just didn't care. After what seemed like an age, Fox finally broke way, and told everyone to bed: [b]Fox:[/b] Tommorow we shall set out way. For now, we must unweary ourselves, and let rest become our warden. [b]Gurthang:[/b] Ah, finally. God, took ye long enough. Again, they all stared at me, even though I had said it quietly. And Nepenthe glared at me as if I were even vile more than that of an ogre... Thus, we all went to out separate rooms, and bid our sleep weary.[/color][/i]

[color=red] Alrighty, closed as ordered...[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mystic's Knight [/i] [B]Im straight too but the sex of my lover really doesnt matter....LOVE is the key here and Mitch didnt your common sense kick and and tell you that he was just keeping the doors open to ANYONE with any type of love preference :-D [/B][/QUOTE] [color=red] Well, I take all things rather literally in some cases. It usually tends to matter in what mood I'm in... But, yeh, I took it rather literally.[/color]

[color=red] Ironic, sad, melancholy, tearing, testing, wonderful...those could all go to describe this poem.[/color]

[color=red] Nice. Except, the last bit of it. Always indent and space when a conversation is going on. But, other than that, very nice.[/color]

[color=red] I don't quite understand why you would need to train to fight, rather even worry about it. If you love her, that is all that will matter. You'll do everything you can...even if it causes hurt, hate, pain, unwant... So, I don't think you should worry. What happens happens. Why it happens, that is for us to find. Just take the problem as it comes, and do what you can.[/color]

[color=red][size=1] Thanks all. I guess I did manage to pull the last one off. Well, I hope I did, because this one's rather the same kind of way. This one's from of course, what I made a thread about in Otaku Lounge. [/size] [i][b][u]Cry to the Moon[/b][/u] I cry, cry to the moon it's all, all from you this flaming crater I caught it's all, all from you and I do cry, cry I do not for me, but most for you I'm falling, falling I am support is weak, weak is the support so I do cry, cry not for me, but for you I take the pain, take it all place it inside, stoic to you and inside, that is where it falls I wish, I wish, that dawn it would on you that hurt, hurt not just pain not all just yours, yours just not all and I do cry, cry to the moon I feel all do you, all feel I do human I am, human is't me being that, that I do feel feel I hate, feel I love, feel I all all that you do that is why I, why I do cry at the moon this feeling it's all the hurt, put into one all this mark this burn these acrimonious intersecting utterances this all and more than it's all, all from you and I ask only, only do I ask taketh that which given me and cry, cry bade due cry bade due to the moon[/color][/i]