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The Otakuboards Celebration: Part 1


Raiha
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[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]The setting was perfect. James lounged at the head of the very long table, Shy and Desbreko next to him. The others looked pleased with where they were at. Revelation sat to my left, and Indifference to my right. Across the table from me sat Aryanna and her mother, with Rach and Sunfall in attendance. Charles and Gavin were seated nearby, while two bodyguards sat by the door, guarding the party against intrusion. Other such luminaries of the Otakuboards were there as well. It was after all, a party of the privileged. Looking further down I could see Petie clinking his glass against Ken. The sake flowed freely, but then again we were all in feudal Japan. Don?t ask me to explain, but it?s one of those things that tends to happen when you get a lot of crazies all together in one room.

Reality tends to give way. Most of the time that is. Every one of us appeared to have brought some form of weaponry. On some it was more obvious than others. A magnificently worked katana leaned against James?s side of the table, and Charles had his own blades with him. I knew for a fact most of the women present had weapons of some kind or another stashed in either their hair or the sleeves of their kimonos, but what the hell. Never let the presence of a veritable armory stop you from having a good time. I was just pouring Indifference another cup of tea when the doors burst open, and the guards leapt out of the way. Rick Hunter stepped in, his Western style suit massively out of place among the soft silks of kimonos and braided tatami mats. [/i]

?What is the meaning of this?! This...celebration! This indulgence!?

[i]James turned a jaundiced eye upon the newcomer that had so rudely forced his way in. With a slight yawn, he turned away and waved a dismissive hand. Shy looked in his direction as well.[/i]

?We?re celebrating someone?s birthday. Kindly take yourself elsewhere. You weren?t on the guest list.?

?Never! I am Rick Hunter! I will never leave! I will never be irrelevant! Not when there?s umbrage to be taken! Redress to be sought!?

[i]I turned to Indifference, raising my sleeve over my mouth to hide my whisper.[/i]

?It?s like he?s in a massive dick waving competition. With himself.?

[i]She and I both snickered behind our sleeves, a flutter of indigo, red, and silver. Petie laughed in our direction and drew a wakizashi. Desbreko also stood, brushing several of his less important, but very cute fangirls to one side. He picked up a pair of knives and gave Rick Hunter a look. But both had to wait. I?d rose to my feet, and after all, ladies first.[/i]

?You seek redress when there are none here who have harmed you. You try far too hard. One of these days you?re going to hurt yourself and have nobody to blame but your own ego.?

[i]I reached into my obi and pulled out two throwing knives. One followed the other, pinning him to the wall at the shoulders. The guards took the cue and dragged him off, kicking and screaming. I knelt once more, and gave his retreating figure a scornful glance. Revelation giggled and poured my cup full of sake. I raised it with my right hand, drawing back my sleeve with my left and others around me mimicked the gesture. Our cups clinked with one another, and everyone cheered.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue]Clearly, we'll have to wait until the star of our show returns to find out.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]Very nice though, especially since the inspiration for it happened moments before hand.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
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[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Actually part one was just supposed to be the party,...but whatever. Too late now! ....that and I'm too lazy to repost. Oh well! Someone can change it if they REALLY do mind. That and Desbreko's just going to be himself. Bigwig of OB. Much like the others in the posts. Moderators will have their power after all, and since this party is for Ob's rich and famous... Tee he...

[center]~~~~~~~~~~~~[/center]

[i]The hot springs provided at the resort were perfect. A little path led down from the banquet area and split into two paths. The men went down the right path while the women minced down the left, with some getting confused along the way. I know for a fact that DigitalBoy was making a break for the girl?s side when Athena caught him and put him in an anvil weighted suitcase before kicking him off a cliff. Poor bastard.

Minutes later, we women had been shed of our heavy robes and were putting on light cotton shifts. Underneath? What was underneath you want to know? Nothing. Some of the younger girls had already gone to their own private baths, but the other women...the eligible women that is all went to the main bath. Indifference, Revelation, Vicky, Sunfall, Jamie, myself, and a few of the other gorgeous women of the boards walked down the well groomed path to the rock lined pool. I stepped into the bath, dipping in an experimental toe and finding the 103 degree water quite perfect. I sank in, letting the water rise up to my chest. One of the thoroughly boring and unobtrusive servants massaged my back with a husk of dried winter melon, and I shivered appreciatively.

Holding a thin yellow towel to my shoulders, I took a sip from one of the many floating trays and watched as Indifference stood beneath one of the warm waterfalls, her hair in her eyes. Revelation turned and was about to reach for a tuft of hibiscus flowers when she noticed that one of the more daring men of the boards, this time Ikillion, had actually succeeded climbing the walls of the partition between the men and women?s sections in an attempt to get an eyeful. I guess in the scheme of things he DID in fact get an eyeful. And that eyeful was a flash of Revelation?s breasts before she swung the flat of her bokuto across his face and knocked him back onto his own side amidst much masculine laughter. The next attempt naturally happened seconds later, only this time it was Ken, dodging a spray of delicate looking throwing stars that clipped off several inches of his hair.

Meanwhile, Desbreko himself lounged in one of his own private tubs, one of his fangirls giving him a manicure while a fanboy massaged his shoulders, and a third still washed his hair. James himself was having his feet massaged by a young boy who would?ve been slobbering over his feet if given half a chance. But even so, Sandy and Shy toasted each other in the main tub, while Rachmaninoff played the cello, while simultaneously soaking his feet. I have no idea how it worked, but I?m not going to question it. After all, I was busy keeping Neil, Ken, and Nersdy on their side of the wall. Every five seconds a head would appear, and Revelation, or Jamie, or I would have to respond with a burst of violence of some form or another.[/i]

?You know, you were right about the dick waving competition...but it?s too bad he doesn?t have anything to wave.?

[i]Indifference chuckled and toasted me with a cup of jasmine tea while I absentmindedly hurled another throwing knife over the wall to clip Neil?s ear.[/i]

?Ouch, that was a low blow honey. ...then again...it?s not like it?d hurt if there was nothing to kick.?

[i]Just then, the man himself reappeared, only instead of taking his case directly to James in his private area, he?d strayed into the single women?s area instead. I hissed venomously and reached for the throwing spear that I?d placed against the wall, when he blundered uselessly into the wall, brandishing a cutlass.[/i]

?Avast ye scurvy dogs!?

[i]Revelation and I exchanged confused glances. Was he cracked or just- oh never you mind. The wall came crashing down in what was a sure sign of shoddy workmanship, and several Ob males found themselves staring at several mostly naked Ob females. There was a shriek, a gasp of horror, and then Petie himself showed up with a towel around his waist and his weapon in his right hand. He was swiftly joined by Ikillion wielding a demon quelling staff and flanked by Blayze, holding a double sided taichi sword.[/i]

?Try to peek in on our ladies will you?!?

[i]A hefty sweep of Ikillion?s weapon, and then another forced Rick Hunter against a wall, and he tripped and fell into one of the secluded pools inhabited by the less single women of OB. Athena and Sunfall jerked themselves up, towels at hand, and for a second, all that could be heard was the shriek of,[/i]

?PERVERT!?

[i]A huge explosion of water hurled him up into the air, where he was promptly picked off by one of Desbreko?s death vultures and followed by several of Ken?s fluffy owls. I sighed the sigh of she who has seen it all and reclined once more, listening to the sound of howls, shrieks, and general mayhem.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[QUOTE]I know for a fact that DigitalBoy was making a break for the girl’s side when Athena caught him and put him in an anvil weighted suitcase before kicking him off a cliff. Poor bastard.[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="77656"]Good thing I wasn't there, otherwise I'd be falling off the cliff with him. :p Rick's luck seems to be running out even more. I don't feel sorry for the guy though, pervert is what he is. >_>[/COLOR]
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[i][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]After a good soak in the hot springs, with the obligatory scrub, rinse, and shower, we women were being grandly helped back into many layers of silk and brocade. I spread my arms and watched my reflection as someone expertly tied my obi while another replaced some of my hairpins. Over my right shoulder, Indifference let them button up her sleeves, while on my left Revelation let her dresser redo her already magnificent hair. Big dinner tonight. And while the women normally segregated themselves from the men, it was really difficult to find someone who would enforce the rules. Besides, nobody wanted to have their head removed from their shoulders. ...Scientifically.

The banquet hall was set up, the tea and snacks prepared, and the guests were already arriving. Allamorph and Ozymandius Jones greeting guests like they were born to do it. This time, DigitalBoy had set himself up next to Premonition, and his other groupies by the door, taking our sandals and laying them away in boxes for later. Indifference nudged me and Vicky snorted into her sleeves while Athena gestured with her fan.[/i]

“Ah yes, on their way to being rich and famous.”

“Well it’s better being on their way to carrying the bags of the rich and famous.”

[i]Ikillion leaned over in an expensive looking silk dress shirt and waved a hand with an utterly unconcerned air. Us women fell about laughing and clutching each other for support, and had to be escorted to our seats by all too willing men. Gavin led me to his side, and Sunfall let Rachmaninoff set her down on a silk cushion. I knelt easily enough and let the men serve us. Shy led a toast and everyone echoed it with general good cheer.[/i]

“To health, wealth, loyalty!”

“Grace, faith, royalty!”

“To duty!”

“To beauty!”

“To goats!”

[i]Everyone turned to look at Vicky, standing there with a slightly sheepish, no pun intended, look on her face. I stood as well and raised my glass.[/i]

“To goats!”

[i]There was riotous laughter, but the cry was echoed and that was the end of it. Heaven’s Cloud sat down last and launched into a long and undoubtedly boring speech about Ob politics, with Charles joining in and Shy putting in an occasional word, while the women turned to each other and conversed about mundane things. Like trees, and flowers, and swords, and breasts. I was about to pick up my chopsticks and try out the braised pork when the doors burst open once more and Alex himself burst in, with Rick Hunter behind him, while Dagger leapt to her feet, drawing the weapon for which she was named.[/i]

“Who dares to interrupt our proceedings? Wait, no. I don’t care. There are penalties for this sort of thing!”

“...is it a hefty fine?”

“The penalty is death!”

[i]James himself had stood and slammed his fist into the table, rattling the teacups.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[size=1][color=#8B008B]Of course our dear Vicky would include 'goats' into anything. =P She is, after all, our lovely Space Goat. ^_^

But the one thing I can't stop laughing at is:[/size][/color] [quote name='Neuvoxraiha'][i][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]“Who dares to interrupt our proceedings? Wait, no. I don’t care. There are penalties for this sort of thing!”[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE][/i] [size=1][color=#8B008B]Dagger makes us sound like we're a bunch of lazy people just throwing penalties around. XD...wait...that came out wrong. ><[/size][/color]
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[SIZE="1"]Wonderful story honey, you really do know how to lighten the mood, or I suppose in this case, how to captivate an already amused audience with your story-telling.

Even though we're friends, if Alex has brought Rick back, I should be the one to deal with him, in an honourable Jedi face-off. :animesmil[/SIZE]
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[quote name='Sandy']Great stuff! I'm sure several of our members are blushing at the hotsprings scene right now... ;D[/QUOTE]Actually, I'm wondering how I manage to play the Cello and soak my feet at the same time. XP Anyway, definitely a fun read, considering the inspiration for it. Heh.
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[i][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Desbreko drew, as did Petie, and Charles himself pulled out a ball and musket rifle. Alex looked prepared to open his mouth, when Allamorph snuck up behind him with a blue plastic bag, and dragged him off kicking and screaming. Rick Hunter screamed something incoherent, most likely about legal action, when Gavin joined the group of men standing up around the table, looking relatively threatening. Meanwhile the women continued to sit gracefully, looking as ornamental as any hothouse orchid. Of course, every one of them had begun to surreptitiously slip hands into sleeves, or under the tables. Rick Hunter threw a knife in Charles?s general direction, only to have Indifference reach up casually and catch it in her bare hands.[/i]

?Too soon. Baby...?

[i]She crushed it in her palm as if it were made of paper. Charles struck back, his bullet grazing the interloper across the shoulder. He clutched the wound which for some reason was gushing copious amounts of blood.[/i]

?You?ll never take me down! Not while I still draw breath! I own you all!?

?...does that even make any sense??

[i]Revelation looked up from the book she was reading. I tilted my head and read the title: ?Character Assassinations.? I shrugged and raised a quizzical eyebrow.

Petie slammed one foot down and assumed a stance, sending lines of force towards Rick Hunter, throwing him towards the door. It opened just before he struck it, and he ragdollized outwards, landing ungracefully in the courtyard. Premonition and DigitalBoy closed the door behind him and sat down in front of it. Heaven?s Cloud naturally took the break in the flow of conversation to raise his glass in a toast.[/i]

?To Victory!?

?To Victory!?

[i]Everyone echoed his toast like good sheep, and that was the end of that. Civility returned, and I returned to my chopsticks. Miraculously, in the scuffle, no actual harm had been done to the food, for which I was truly grateful. Sunfall turned to me and made some comment about my clothing, while I complimented her on her hairstyle. Charles took the opportunity to make a speech, while James nodded in the background sagely, his hands folded in his lap.[/i]

?Alas, how the foolish have fallen. At this time I would like to say with great dignity and pontification the magnitude of the pride I hold for each and every one of you. And furthermore-?

[i]Someone in the background yawned audibly and Charles frowned at the disruption. I yawned as well, unfortunately unable to resist the urge. My husband patted my arm reassuringly, and I ate mechanically, while Charles droned on, pointedly ignoring the distraction as usual. I tried to pay attention to my credit, but he?d gone so far away from the typical that linguistic surreality had ensued.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[size=1][color=#8B008B]Ragdollized...heh heh. Another elegant but active read; made me laugh when Alex was head-bagged.

Oh and I probably would do something like that, look up from a book while people are doing whoever-the-hell-people-worship-knows-what.

Can't wait for the next installment.[/size][/color]
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[FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]Sweet... I get a sword [i]and[/i] the power to create shock waves![/COLOR][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana][COLOR=blue]Seriously though, this has been really fun to read. Please do keep it going, though it seems we may need some more inspiration first.[/COLOR][/FONT]
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[quote name='Neuvoxraiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]?You?ll never take me down! Not while I still draw breath! I own you all!?

?...does that even make any sense??[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"]My favourite quote, full stop. :animesmil[/SIZE]
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[quote name='Allamorph'][CENTER][SIZE="4"][FONT="Arial"][B](^_^)[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER]


[FONT=Arial]Ehh, a really long endpin? :p[/FONT][/QUOTE]Heh, I was thinking more along the lines that I'd never expose an instrument to such a humid climate. But yeah, that would work, possibly. :p

Anyway, it's a pity that the cause of the inspiration has settled down, not that I want more fuss, but this has been fun to read. Seems that OtakuBoards has some 'colorful' people in it's history. I certainly hope Charles updates the article to reflect this newest 'insanity' lol

[B]EDIT:[/B] Nevermind, I looked and he did. XP
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[COLOR="DarkOrange"]*skims through, only reading the parts where I am mentioned* nice, though I expected you of all people to be a little meaner XD in any event, I can't tell you how glad I am to be a prominant enough member that I am put in OB parodies without asking to be, something I dreamed of years ago. [/COLOR]
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[COLOR="77656"]Open to plot ideas, eh? I was thinking about the return of Kuja or something.It would go like this: Kuja, with a group of vagabond layers and prosocutors, would come back to OB to slap lawsuits against all members during the celebration. However, after a clash of action, Kuja surrendors, and gets arrested by the admins.

And maybe a cameo appearance from our old mascot Naps the Cat?[/COLOR]
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