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eleanor

The Bitter Pill

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[font=trebuchet ms]This thread is more a way for me to write out my retrospective feelings on my life right now, so it will probably be long and rambling, but the topic of choice is just the bitter pill. The time in your life, past or present, where you fell and you were kicked on the side and you had to pick yourself up anyway.

From a privileged 17-year-old girl living in the suburbs, my problems might seem inconsequential or selfish, but from what experience I have in life the past month has been the most insane roller coaster of feelings I've ever had.

For me, college was the light at the end of the tunnel. During high school I found my niche, I made great friends, loved newspaper, but I absolutely fantasized about going to my dream colleges and learning and taking in everything from intelligent and hardworking people.

And if there was something I ever worked my *** off for, it was school. Managing a 4.0 GPA with 10 APs, fervent studying for that 2400, balancing several head leadership positions and coming home every day to an empty house and studying hours into the morning just to ace the calculus quiz. Every activity I really invested my time into and loved, not just for college but because I loved working with my high school's most brilliant students and winning and beating other schools, every teacher I sucked up to even though I hated their guts, volunteer hours I crammed in over the years to make my application stronger, everything I did for the past two years for my future, now seems worthless and stupid and disgusting.

College admissions this year was brutal. Record applicants across the board, acceptance rates sinking to the single digits, the bias and arbitrary nature of admissions committees, having your application read at the right time by the right person, having legacy (or double), blah blah blah. But in the end, I was screwed, or I didn't measure up, or whatever.

The week before March 31/April 1 I would wake up hours before my alarm went off sweating because I had a nightmare that I was rejected everywhere and had to live at home forever. During school on March 31 I threw up in the school bathroom, having students being testy and bitchy with each other because we were all afraid of being rejected from the Ivies, spending the next day skipping school under my mom's nose because I couldn't deal with my friends' happy faces about getting into their dream school.

My best friends could list off the places they got into on both hands: MIT, CalTech, Columbia, Yale, Cornell, Princeton, UPenn, every college on the top 20 list, it was there and they got in. People for a while thought I was in on it, too, but in reality was rejected everywhere, wait listed at another, and accepted to my two safety schools.

For days I analyzed everything I had to everything my friends' had: SAT scores, GPAs, leadership positions, race, economic status, how hard they studied and why the hell I hadn't gotten in as well. I thought about the essay I had written for college, the one I poured my entire heart into and cried hysterically while writing because it touched the deepest feelings I ever had and never told anyone. But I told it to people I didn't know, sitting in some office, looking at my numbers and test scores, and a damn essay, deciding my future.

I became bitter, and more bitter when I found out the Hispanic girl in my 1st period class got into Emory but I got wait listed. The friend's friend who took 3 APs got into Northwestern, because she had double legacy. I wanted to tear my heart out and go outside and scream "****" at the top of my lungs. I wanted to punch my friends in the face when they said I'd be happy at University of Georgia, because they had all gotten into their dream schools with no problems and no hassle and had no idea how I felt. The first time I made my feelings public for my friends, one of the first responses I got was a "**** you, Ginny", because I needed to get over myself and college.

My mom called my sister the night I heard from my last college, and from upstairs I listened and heard her call me a "disappointment who couldn't even get into Emory", and I went outside and sat next to my garage and cried forever. Between UGA and NYU, I forced myself to choose UGA, but it only dug me deeper into my hole.

I completely blew off all school work for a week. I completed zero assignments, class work, failed that week's tests and quizzes and for once I couldn't give a crap about it anyway. To me my life was over and college would be another four years to live through until graduate school. All of my work never amounted, and when prying Asian mothers from church asked my mother where I was going, it killed me to hear "UGA" as the answer. I had wanted to impress everyone- get into some stellar school and leave no one with the doubt that I was maybe stupid and lazy.

It took me a while to wake out of my self-imposed, arrogant, and immature view of what had happened to me, but when I did I felt as if I had aged five years. I fully realized, for the first time, that our co-valedictorians were happy with the fact that they were going to Georgia Tech. That one of my best friends was going through it worse than me, because she had gotten into Northwestern but couldn't go because her parents refused to pay, that some of the smartest, most brilliant, and most hard-working people I knew were paying the deposit fee for UGA. These people had gotten into stellar schools, but knew the reality of finances and could not turn down a free UGA with the HOPE scholarship (an amazing deal for any Georgia resident).

I realized the merits of what I had received. An invitation to the UGA Honors program, a debt-free education, an easier way to get the 4.0 again and try it over with graduate school.

I remembered the day after Ivy decisions came out, when my first period teacher gave a lecture about life to his students, most of them heartbroken and dead in the eyes, that sometimes you got the bitter pill and you just dealt with it, and now we have to study the government of Nigeria so pull yourself together.

This past month has been both a blessing and a catastrophe. Yes, my parents still look at me sometimes with sad eyes, yes, I still think about how wonderful I would feel if I had gotten into Columbia, yes, I still feel somewhat bitter. I've learned what it really means to fight for what you want. Once again I've been whipped into action, accepting UGA, but still holding onto the slim hope that I'll get off the Emory wait list: pulling my grades up again, calling my counselor, doing everything I can to strengthen my application. But now I know that if I do or don't get off the wait list, there was no lesson lost or moral forgotten.

If you read this entire thing, I really appreciate it. If you think it's not appropriate for OB, I see where you're coming from; delete this thread if you feel the need to. This was the only place I could post what I wanted without having people I know personally read it but still have people read it and really take it in. I expect judgment from anyone who reads it, but it comforts me to know that people I know at school won't have to. [/font]

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Hope you felt better after that rant.

As for me, I've graduated. From college. I went to a state college, and well, my parents and I were proud that I made it that far.

It's hard feeling like you've dissappointed your parents. My parents never say a word to me about anything, but one little expression of maybe-dissappointment could kill me. Asian parents, they're something else. Don't want to sound judgemental, but I'm asian as well.

Guess I'm having a big sister moment, but I'll say a few things to hopefully comfort you, and I'm not trying to talk down to you or anything. Lunox, if you're really the type of student you ranted yourself to be, you'll be successful in college. I mean, if you have some decent social skills, too. Just work hard in college, and that's really all you need to be successful. We have doctors, lawyers, researchers, all sorts coming from non-Ivy universities. Heck just graduating with a degree is a big accomplishment in itself.

I had a friend in high school. We were the top students from our school. Not a big deal or anything, we're from a small school. My friend was considering going to the state university (the one that I wanted to attend [and did] ever since I was a kid), and because some elite jackasses and their comments about state schools, she was ashamed to attend. She got into the Ivy League school of her choice, and was considering the state university, but it drove her crazy some comments somebody made. In the end, she went to the same university I did, and so did that jerk who talked down on the university.

When you go to college, you'll get out of that little world you're in now. You'll be in the same school with a bunch of people who are darn proud of that school. A lot of people go to local colleges or universities that could've gotten into an Ivy League school. I realized that when I attended my state university I was small fry compared to all the gifted students there.

Well, I'm glad you realized that not getting into an Ivy-League school is not the end of the world. You're young. If you work hard -- REALLY -- if you work as hard as you claim you do, you'll be successful in college and in life. College is just the beginning. You should be celebrating.

The things that'll really make you cry, are things you don't even wanna imagine.

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I feel your pain to some extent.

Except that I didn't do anything to earn my way into college through high school. I'm a smart guy and I always have been--I never needed to study to maintain myself in the top 25 of my class.

I wound up going to a small seminary in Columbus, GA for about a year(which is actually how I was introduced to this place, interestingly) and then quitting when I ran out of money to carry on.

I haven't been back in two years now. I want to go back, finish my theology degree, and then go to Auburn for French Trade; but I don't see that happening now. Too much time wasted, and too little money to count on.

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[FONT="Tahoma"][COLOR="DimGray"][center]Lunox: [img]http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/g/glomp.gif[/img][/center]

Well, I don't really know how you feel (although your post has given me great insight so I understand a little bit). I failed one of my courses (my teachers fault, he was such a douche) and now I can't go to College or University because I have to stay at High School for another year. :)

I'm glad you feel better, though! That was a seriously heart-wrenching rant. I'm sorry I don't have much else to say. D:

[center][youtube=Just Remember...]jHPOzQzk9Qo[/youtube][/center][/COLOR][/FONT]

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When I read your post, it really made me sad. It is sad that parents do not appreciate their kids when they are trying their hardest. I know how it feels to be looked down upon. When I was little, other parents, adults, etc kept telling my mother that she should not bother with me. She should just put me in a group home and forget about me.

"Your daughter has cerebral palsy. She will forever be a stupid girl and never amount to anything so do not waste your time."

That is what they kept telling my parents. Now here I am, in community college and I almost have my associates degree. I'm well on my way to my theatre arts bachleor's and masters.

My one piece of advice. Every time they look down on you, make fun of you, anger you, annoy you because you are on a waiting list and going to UGA. Keep this mindset. Prove them wrong. They do not know you as well as you do. Be stubborn, work hard, and kick butt! You are worth more than that and do not let others tell you otherwise. I am glad that you are finally at peace with a few things. You are well on your way to the rest of your life. Good luck! Make us proud!

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[FONT="Tahoma"][SIZE="1"][COLOR="black"][COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"]Colleges can be so cruel sometimes, no matter how much you've suffered to just send in an application.

I can honestly say I don't know what you're going through because I've never had a dream college in one of the top 10 or 20 schools. I never really thought about college period until I was a Junior and Senior when it all finally hit me. Thinking about it, I don't want to live with my parents forever because I want to be free and live life the way I want to, but also because I don't want to be a moocher like some of my aunts and uncles.

My college/school life isn't hectic compared to yours; I go to a fantastic-not-so-expensive college right now majoring in Graphic Design. But, it's British, so it's not really like the Colleges/Uni's in America, but more like a period of time to get you prepared for Uni or something like that.

After another year and a half though, I really need to think of which college/uni to go to that has what I want, is where I want to go, isn't so expensive that I need to kill myself over it, etc.

You sound like you have your life planned out though, even if they're are things that come at you unexpectedly. Me, I guess I don't care where I go or how high the standards are, as long as I'm happy and do what I want to do most in life.

But, I'm not taking into consideration about how completely different our lives probably are. To be honest, I'm really disappointed in your mom for saying something like that to your own sister. It's in those times of need that you really need your parents to support you, no matter what. She might've not meant that so seriously, but you really don't know what else to do when your own mother calls you a dissapointment.

I'm just going on now, but it seems you're doing okay now. You may not've realized it, but if you think about it, you probably don't have to pay student loans and whatnot so much like your friends do when they go to the more expensive colleges, lol.

Anyway, I salute and look up to you because you've put in way more effort than I ever will. Life does give you ****, but you'll get through it if you don't give up.

Really, everything will get better. That's what I think anyway. :]

And @ [B]8bit[/B]: Well, at least you don't have to deal with college stuff for another year probably. Unless, you know, you wanted to or something.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"]I'm really sorry to hear the part about what your mother said to your sister, it's hard enough working like mad to do well and that sort of thing... I find that more disappointing than anything, that she would say such a thing.

I myself never had college admission woes since my father was faculty at the one I planned on going to. So the high turn away rates or grade issues didn't matter. I was guaranteed entry along with half tuition rates because he worked there.

The thing that makes it ironic is that I hated it and ended up transferring to one of those other schools, the community college level that is often the last choice. Something that I don't regret since leaving that uptight environment behind made college a lot more fun and less stressful.

I guess I'd just say hang in there and do your best, because fancy college is just that, fancy and kind of meaningless in the long run because no matter how good you are, they can only accept so many. I know I don't regret leaving the expected go here deal behind.

Though I was more fortunate in that my father was a firm believer in doing what worked best for a student, so he supported the switch, even though he was helping me pay for it and that meant more expenses out of his pocket.

Anyway, just hang in there. Like others have said, I too believe that things will get better. [/FONT][/COLOR]

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Lunox, when I read your post, I cried my guts out...I'm still crying. I'm in 7th grade right now. Even though I'm only in 7th grade, I still stay up late into the night wondering how I can pass entrance exams in high school, let alone college. I always cry when I think about those things because I don't think I'll ever pass those tests even if I am doing well in school at the moment. I think it was wrong for your "friends" to say what they did and even more so your own mother.Well, listen to me, 'cause I'm gonna make it clear right here, right now! We at the OtakuBoards will never find you as a dissappointment! It might not matter to you that I think so, but that is how I feel! So keep fighting for us at the OB!!!:animecry:

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I saw this coming almost a mile away. Not because I expected failure from you, but because I saw the same symptoms I had when I applied to college. I figured you would have the same outcome, but I wished you didn't.

Now what I say next will probably seem insulting, even mocking, but it is what you will learn (most likely the hard way), and it will get you out of your slump. You will probably not listen to an ounce of this advice, but I urge you to read it to the last sentence. Maybe you will not have to go through what I did. If you really don't feel like having facts and direct comments thrown at you, I can understand if you stopped reading right now, but remember, this is also what I learned about myself, so I'm talking more about me than you. But if it rings true for you, maybe you should heed my advice.


You have an inferiority complex. You thought if you *just* got into that one special place, it would validate you and prove to not only everyone else, but to yourself, that you are something special. You always knew you were special, but without the validation, you have doubts. Now, that acceptance you always thought you were definitely going to get because you were special - even those times when you were nervous - is not there. It somehow slipped passed you.

I'm not saying you're arrogant. Everyone is special, and this was your special thing.

So now you're trying to make sense of it, trying to find a way to find a way to still validate yourself. And after thinking about it, you will suffer through and persevere amidst everything for four years, and get into your dream school for graduate education.


I'm telling you that you didn't learn the right lesson. You want to go to your school, the right school, via graduate school. Graduate school is the easiest thing to get into, much easier than undergrad. You don't need good grades or any of that nonsense. You just need money (or a source that isn't the school itself, unless you work for it), and they will accept you. The only thing the graduate admissions committees check is your pulse.

So let's put that aside for a moment. I guarantee you will go to your dream school, but if you learn anything in four years, you'd probably not care one bit.


You should talk to post-college people you know or will meet. Ask them, if they had to choose between a no-debt, lower-end salary as a start in life vs 10k more in pay and 100k in debt, would they put themselves in debt all over again? Retrospectively, the answer is so obvious, but they were caught in the passion like I was, and like you are now.

Personally, I went the expensive route. I could have gone to Rutgers or NYU and started life with no debt, but I didn't want High School Part 2. I wanted to get my mind off not going to my dream school. I didn't care if they were happy going to those schools, they weren't for me.

Debt is an awful thing. It's such a burden to have. Once you pay it off, you will swear never to go into it again, and wondered why you did in the first place when you had the choice not to (some people can't help it, but when you have a choice, you're stupid if you put yourself in that position). Your employer didn't care that you went to this lame school, and you would have had more money by now.

[B]No one but family and snobby friends care where you went to school.[/B] Sure, maybe some people like raising their noses and saying, "Oh yes, that Zuckerberg chap, we used to play pool in the Harvard yard, uh-huh uh-huh" but really, it doesn't get you in a better position later in life. I have two Harvard friends. They are not super heroes. One is very successful, and one is dumb as nails.


I don't know if I said this before, but I should have: college is college. 2+2=4, whether you learn that from a Harvard professor or a Howard professor is irrelevant. [B]College is what you make of it.[/B] If you keep yourself open-minded, enter college with a happy mindset, you will find a lot to love. In fact, the school itself will be insignificant to your experience. It will be the people there. The school can treat you like trash and overall, could suck, but if you have other cool friends and good times, it really doesn't matter.

I know the assault from family can be brutal, but in college, you will make some of the best friends you'll ever have, and they are more than enough to offset the unproductive and useless feedback of those who supposedly know best. Sure, they knew best [B]back in their day[/B], when they were your age, arguing with their parents, but now you know best, and they are the parents.

My school had many good and bad people in high positions. It sucked. Every time I registered for classes, administration would take me out, saying I have an F or some other made-up grade in the prerequisite. After I went to them, and they cleared up the "confusion" that made magical changes to my GPA, the seat was already taken. The third and last time this happened, I checked and found out the President's niece just enrolled. It didn't bother me, I just shared it with friends and we took sweet revenge in our own way. =D


[B]Probably the best advice I can give you[/B] is to work/volunteer at admissions when you go to college. It will open your eyes to the ludicrous system you were subject to. For a while, you will disassociate it from what happened to you, but sooner or later, you will come to that realization, that this is the f###ed up system that ruined your chances.

When you actually take one of the seats on the admissions committee (many schools reserve two for current students), do not be shocked and surprised. Learn and accept it.
[i]"Oh, look! We've got two Hispanics with 4.0 GPAs! Let's accept them both! It'll look good and they won't ruin our rankings!"
"No, Mary, HOLY $H!T no! RED F###iING FLAG! This one wants to become a rocket scientist. He's gonna take hard classes and screw us. The other one just wants to be a sweeper with a degree. He will take easy classes. We've got enough safeties - ambitious white people - that we don't need to take risks accepting an ambitious Hispanic one."[/i]
Of course, common stuff like this will be said in a more polite, politically correct, and formal way, but the meaning will be the same.


[B]The main thing I'm trying to say is to ENJOY YOUR NEXT FOUR YEARS and chase your dreams - your real ones - and don't worry about the little details.[/B] College is a big deal, of course, but which college is a little detail. My friend took a summer course in Harvard, and people were so impressed, but it was no big deal to him and he really didn't care that it was Harvard. He was in Boston at the time and it was what he wanted (something about biostatistics if you are wondering).

If your dream is to go to a particular college, you gotta get better dreams. Cure cancer, become pro boxer, volunteer abroad, those are fun dreams, and are more fulfilling than anything Harvard or Yale can offer.

Make the most of your debt-free rollercoaster. It's going to be fun. Don't hole yourself in depression, because there are guys who will take advantage of that (and I mean that with all connotations). You're gonna love it if you let yourself, and when you come out of it, the job or grad school you go to will not matter because you have no debt to pay off and can continue to enjoy yourself. The hard part is always transitioning out of college.

I hope this made sense. I didn't proofread it. Just wrote my thoughts as they came.

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[SIZE="1"][COLOR="HotPink"]I understand where you're coming from entirely, even though my situation is exactly the opposite. I actually... don't want to go to college... I want to just... be free for once in my life. I'm old enough now to make my own decisions, and yet... everytime, I make a B or C on an assignment... My parents do everything in their power to make me miserable. They don't understand how hard they're making my life for me, and as it turns out... now. I'm failing most of my courses.

I just want to get out of school, and get away.

But, my parents want me to get a scholarship. They want me to go to college. My friend Dustin tells me it's absolutely miserable for him, and he tries not to be lazy... But he finds it extremely hard to make it to classes. His girlfriend seems to be happy with her college life...

I don't know. Which one will I be? If I do go to school, I want to go to a graphic design school, or a film school. But this is nearly impossible for me. So... I guess...

Nothing. Call me lazy.

You obviously have much more ambition than me, and I respect that. I hope your life goes in the direction you want it to, and even if you end up at the college right next door... there's still a chance you'll enjoy it alot. After all, it's still a college, right?[/COLOR][/SIZE]

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[quote name='AzureWolf']
Graduate school is the easiest thing to get into, much easier than undergrad. You don't need good grades or any of that nonsense. You just need money (or a source that isn't the school itself, unless you work for it), and they will accept you. The only thing the graduate admissions committees check is your pulse.

............

I don't know if I said this before, but I should have: college is college. 2+2=4, whether you learn that from a Harvard professor or a Howard professor is irrelevant. [B]College is what you make of it.[/B] If you keep yourself open-minded, enter college with a happy mindset, you will find a lot to love. In fact, the school itself will be insignificant to your experience. It will be the people there. The school can treat you like trash and overall, could suck, but if you have other cool friends and good times, it really doesn't matter.

.............

[B]Probably the best advice I can give you[/B] is to work/volunteer at admissions when you go to college. It will open your eyes to the ludicrous system you were subject to. For a while, you will disassociate it from what happened to you, but sooner or later, you will come to that realization, that this is the f###ed up system that ruined your chances.

When you actually take one of the seats on the admissions committee (many schools reserve two for current students), do not be shocked and surprised. Learn and accept it.
[i]"Oh, look! We've got two Hispanics with 4.0 GPAs! Let's accept them both! It'll look good and they won't ruin our rankings!"
"No, Mary, HOLY $H!T no! RED F###iING FLAG! This one wants to become a rocket scientist. He's gonna take hard classes and screw us. The other one just wants to be a sweeper with a degree. He will take easy classes. We've got enough safeties - ambitious white people - that we don't need to take risks accepting an ambitious Hispanic one."[/i]
Of course, common stuff like this will be said in a more polite, politically correct, and formal way, but the meaning will be the same.


[B]The main thing I'm trying to say is to ENJOY YOUR NEXT FOUR YEARS and chase your dreams - your real ones - and don't worry about the little details.[/B] College is a big deal, of course, but which college is a little detail. My friend took a summer course in Harvard, and people were so impressed, but it was no big deal to him and he really didn't care that it was Harvard. He was in Boston at the time and it was what he wanted (something about biostatistics if you are wondering).

If your dream is to go to a particular college, you gotta get better dreams. Cure cancer, become pro boxer, volunteer abroad, those are fun dreams, and are more fulfilling than anything Harvard or Yale can offer.
[/QUOTE]

Sorry AzureWolf, I kinda butcher quoted you, but I thought I'd highlight some of the things I really agree with, and laughed out loud to. The thing about Graduate admissions was... great. I don't know if I should fully believe you but that does give some sense of relief. =]

Thanks for putting into words what I think many of us that's been through college feel. You made a lot of good points.

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[quote name='AzureWolf']
You have an inferiority complex. You thought if you *just* got into that one special place, it would validate you and prove to not only everyone else, but to yourself, that you are something special. You always knew you were special, but without the validation, you have doubts. Now, that acceptance you always thought you were definitely going to get because you were special - even those times when you were nervous - is not there. It somehow slipped passed you.

I'm not saying you're arrogant. Everyone is special, and this was your special thing.[/QUOTE]

[font="trebuchet ms"] You're right, I do.

Part of what depressed me about going to UGA was walking into my newspaper class and having everyone know it. Every editor I know, which is almost every senior in the class, is the Grade-A student that our school boasts about. I'm friends with most of them, but what disgusts me the most, now that I think about it, is that our friendship mostly consisted of this ****ing weird power play with people who got high off of feeling elite.

My high school is weird, and I know it. It's like we can't get enough of ourselves. We make fun of Brown for being the "doormat to the Ivies". We rank the Ivies on three tiers, making fun of UPenn and Dartmouth and Brown and Cornell. Emory is our Ivy-dropout school. So is Northwestern. Wake Forest is a complete joke. One of our editors, who got into UPenn visited and could only tell us about how much "Harvard Princeton envy there is at our school", and now he's self-conscious that he didn't get into "CHYMPS" (Caltech, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Princeton, Stanford). Simply put, we were all a bunch of elitist prats running around thinking we were important because the teachers loved us and we did newspaper and debate and model UN.

They still make UGA jokes and behind-the-back eye-rolls when I'm in the room, so their only attempt at making me feel better is calling UGA honors "legit" and the rest "Stupid UGA". [/font]

[quote name='AzureWolf']
I'm telling you that you didn't learn the right lesson. You want to go to your school, the right school, via graduate school. Graduate school is the easiest thing to get into, much easier than undergrad. You don't need good grades or any of that nonsense. You just need money (or a source that isn't the school itself, unless you work for it), and they will accept you. The only thing the graduate admissions committees check is your pulse.[/quote]

[font="trebuchet ms"] From what I've heard, I can't make myself believe what you just said about grad school. Don't take it personally, it's just the complete opposite of what I've heard from teachers and parents.[/font]

[quote name='AzureWolf']
You should talk to post-college people you know or will meet. Ask them, if they had to choose between a no-debt, lower-end salary as a start in life vs 10k more in pay and 100k in debt, would they put themselves in debt all over again? Retrospectively, the answer is so obvious, but they were caught in the passion like I was, and like you are now.

Personally, I went the expensive route. I could have gone to Rutgers or NYU and started life with no debt, but I didn't want High School Part 2. I wanted to get my mind off not going to my dream school. I didn't care if they were happy going to those schools, they weren't for me.[/quote]

[font="trebuchet ms"] But the thing is- my parents would have paid for it. I know it sounds bad, like I don't care that my parents would have that burden, but they would do anything for me to attend an Ivy. One of the main reasons I turned down NYU wasn't money, I got enough scholarships so that I would be paying the same amount for NYU as I would UGA, it's only because I knew at UGA Honors I would get the special treatment and therefore probably a better education. Money was never a problem, my parents were the kind that told me I shouldn't even consider financial problems in picking my school. In the end, of course, it still factored in, but it didn't even matter because I'd be paying the same amount for either school. [/font]


[quote name='AzureWolf']I don't know if I said this before, but I should have: college is college. 2+2=4, whether you learn that from a Harvard professor or a Howard professor is irrelevant. [B]College is what you make of it.[/B] If you keep yourself open-minded, enter college with a happy mindset, you will find a lot to love. In fact, the school itself will be insignificant to your experience. It will be the people there. The school can treat you like trash and overall, could suck, but if you have other cool friends and good times, it really doesn't matter.[/quote]

[font="trebuchet ms"] The sad fact is, I know. I know, and knew, that people make the school. Even in college interviews, this is what I told my interviewer when they asked me my most important consideration in a school. I had just convinced myself that the people at Columbia would be the kind I'd fit in better with. And honestly? Probably. Probably, I'd fit in more with people at Northwestern than I will at UGA. And that's what makes me the most depressed. I know I'll find my niche at UGA, get awesome friends, but what holds me back is the thought that at another school I'd be surrounded by people of my mindset. [/font]


[quote name='AzureWolf'][B]The main thing I'm trying to say is to ENJOY YOUR NEXT FOUR YEARS and chase your dreams - your real ones - and don't worry about the little details.[/B] College is a big deal, of course, but which college is a little detail. My friend took a summer course in Harvard, and people were so impressed, but it was no big deal to him and he really didn't care that it was Harvard. He was in Boston at the time and it was what he wanted (something about biostatistics if you are wondering).

If your dream is to go to a particular college, you gotta get better dreams. Cure cancer, become pro boxer, volunteer abroad, those are fun dreams, and are more fulfilling than anything Harvard or Yale can offer.

Make the most of your debt-free rollercoaster. It's going to be fun. Don't hole yourself in depression, because there are guys who will take advantage of that (and I mean that with all connotations). You're gonna love it if you let yourself, and when you come out of it, the job or grad school you go to will not matter because you have no debt to pay off and can continue to enjoy yourself. The hard part is always transitioning out of college.

I hope this made sense. I didn't proofread it. Just wrote my thoughts as they came.[/QUOTE]

[font="trebuchet ms"] I loved your post, I really did. It's the honest-to-God truth my parents have been telling me lately, and I don't doubt that I'm going to be severely limited in my opportunities because I went to a state school.

When I decided to go to UGA, I for some reason felt compelled to fulfill a more standard mold of a "successful" student. I considered pre-law and pre-med for the first time in my life. I felt as if since I was going to a state school, I might as well give up my dreams and do something practical with my life and try to get into Harvard for grad. And to be truthful, I still feel this way. I hate math, and science, but now I'm seriously considering pre-med. It depresses me, and I know it's horrible, but I can't make myself think of actually pursuing what I want.[/font]

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[quote name='Lunox'][font="trebuchet ms"]
When I decided to go to UGA, I for some reason felt compelled to fulfill a more standard mold of a "successful" student. I considered pre-law and pre-med for the first time in my life. I felt as if since I was going to a state school, I might as well give up my dreams and do something practical with my life and try to get into Harvard for grad. And to be truthful, I still feel this way. I hate math, and science, but now I'm seriously considering pre-med. It depresses me, and I know it's horrible, but I can't make myself think of actually pursuing what I want.[/font][/QUOTE]

For me, it'll be difficult to be successful in something I dislike. Who knows, maybe you're the type that can be successful in whatever you pursue, whether you like it or not. And you're right, that IS horrible. Don't punish yourself.

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Maybe it's just my school, but people from around here tend to go to state schools. Maybe it's our isolation (closest top private school is Vandy. 2 hours.), but the seniors with 4.0s and 30+ ACTs are all going to Kentucky, Louisville, or (me) Western Kentucky.

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[COLOR="DarkOrange"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Keep your chin up. Even though things look a little rough and not everything went your way, everything will work out in the end. That's a promise.

In times like these you don't need answers, they won't help you. What you need is simply someone to tell you things'll be alright. A parent or a good friend. And most of all you need to believe that they will.

Good luck to you.
[/FONT][/COLOR]

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[QUOTE=The13thMan][COLOR="DarkOrange"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Keep your chin up. Even though things look a little rough and not everything went your way, everything will work out in the end. That's a promise.

In times like these you don't need answers, they won't help you. What you need is simply someone to tell you things'll be alright. A parent or a good friend. And most of all you need to believe that they will.

Good luck to you.
[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[FONT=Arial]Exactly.

Which is why the first thing I did was hit you up over AIM, [COLOR="DarkRed"]Lunox[/COLOR]. Easier to make with the talkin' there, I think.

And I trust you're feelin' better 'bout the whole thing?[/FONT]

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[FONT="Arial"][SIZE="1"]

I can relate.

I maintained a 4.0 all throughout high school. I never made anything less than an A. I took the SAT when I was fifteen and did extremely well, I nearly recieved a perfect score on the math portion. I graduated when I was sixteen years old, and I had applied to twelve different schools during my senior year. I was denied at every school except for my very last resort. I was even denied at my 'Safety schools'. This had nothing to do with my grades or SAT scores, it had to do with the fact that I was homeschooled during my senior year.

Sad? Sure. Am I pretty upset about it? Yeah. But I'm currently attending Brenau University, and I'm content. I plan on transfering to Savannah College of Art and Design in my Junior year.



Lunox, if it makes you feel better, I couldn't even get into UGA or Gainesville State.

[/SIZE][/FONT]

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[COLOR="Indigo"][quote name='Lunox'][font="trebuchet ms"] The sad fact is, I know. I know, and knew, that people make the school. Even in college interviews, this is what I told my interviewer when they asked me my most important consideration in a school. I had just convinced myself that the people at Columbia would be the kind I'd fit in better with. And honestly? Probably. Probably, I'd fit in more with people at Northwestern than I will at UGA. And that's what makes me the most depressed. I know I'll find my niche at UGA, get awesome friends, but what holds me back is the thought that at another school I'd be surrounded by people of my mindset.[/font][/QUOTE]As hard as this whole situation has been, don't sell yourself or others who didn't make it in short. You may have thought you'd fit in better with people at a certain school, but the honest truth is finding those awesome people out there has[I] nothing[/I] to do with what school they attend. I know for myself what school [I]you[/I] attend is meaningless. That isn't who you are inside.

It honestly sounds like you were in the unfortunate position of going into a life where you would have developed the mindset of judging others based on school and other visible merits instead of seeing them for what they really are. Others have said it, [I]where[/I] isn't what matters, at all.[quote name='Lunox'][font="trebuchet ms"]When I decided to go to UGA, I for some reason felt compelled to fulfill a more standard mold of a "successful" student. I considered pre-law and pre-med for the first time in my life. I felt as if since I was going to a state school, I might as well give up my dreams and do something practical with my life and try to get into Harvard for grad. And to be truthful, I still feel this way. I hate math, and science, but now I'm seriously considering pre-med. It depresses me, and I know it's horrible, but I can't make myself think of actually pursuing what I want.[/font][/QUOTE]Others have said it already, but if your dreams were dependent on where you were going to be attending, then you were focusing on the wrong thing. I know there's a lot of pressure out there to go somewhere like Columbia, and honestly at times, I want to smack those silly teachers and parents who have kids feeling like they're a failure if they don't make it in. But still, in the end, if it ties you up in knots this bad, it's not worth it, no matter what you or anyone tells you. It's not.

You got a wake up call, a rather harsh one. Take that determination you had to get into Columbia and put it into getting your dream without worrying over which school provides the education. A lot of us who choose to not go down that path of attempting to get into a place like that, have no regrets whatsoever.

I'm only sorry your parents were less than stellar in supporting you. In a tiny way, I can understand the feeling that you have to attend a certain school, after all, my father graduated from Harvard so I grew up with others thinking and telling me I had to go there. But my father was smarter than that and taught me to choose what would make me the happiest. And here I am, in[I] Utah[/I], getting my education.[/COLOR]

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The greatest jokes highschools and parents like to play on kids is that they pretend high school matters. Your highschool GPA will mean absolutely nothing the second you get into any college. Even if you go to a community college (which sounds way beneath you from your attitude) it won't matter ever again.
Don't let your parents pressure you into something stupid like Pre-Med or Pre-Law. Take your time, figure out what you truly care about, and then look towards graduate school for what you truly want to do.
Unless you've filled your head with some delusion that you'll be making $100k+ a year (don't worry you won't) right out of college, take it easy. Hell once you take some masters classes, a lot of employers won't even care what your undergrad gpa was.

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[font=trebuchet ms] I guess I just wanted to update this thread and say I realize how ridiculous I was being a few months ago. I cringed while re-reading my first post, saw how silly I was being sometimes. The past few months have been a time of reflection, if not progression.

Interestingly enough, once my heart was completely settled on UGA, with a roommate I liked and the dorm building I wanted, and after realizing how amazing the honors program was, I was admitted off Emory's wait list.

I was happy and disappointed at the same time, because at this point I didn't want to get off Emory's wait list. Of course, the lure of a top 20 college leave my parents and some of my friends sort of flabbergasted when I say I am preferring UGA. I'm glad I came this far, at least, to not slobber all over Emory just because it's "prestigous". While I have a week to decide, I'm happy now knowing that with my mind in its right place I'll make the right decision.[/font]

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[FONT=Arial](^_^)

I think UGA will be better for you in the long run. Much less snobbery to deal with, and a solid education as well. Besides, just 'cause a person graduates from Ivy League doesn't mean they automatically know what they're talking about.

If your parents can't deal with that, then that's a shame, but it's ultimately their issue and not yours. They shouldn't have to milk [I]you[/I] for [I]their[/I] prestige.

Have a good week, too.[/FONT]

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I read the whole thing and I feel for ya. The fact that you busted your *** and didn't get to go to the college you wanted is really depressing. I really can't even relate to you even though I am in high school myself. I mean people here seem to take pleasure in not working and getting great grades. School is a big joke to everyone. I myself occasionally put in work but I am pretty lackadaisical by nature and it's really hard to give a rats *** if no one else is.

Really though if you put in all you can than you shouldn't be upset. If 10 years from now you can look back and say to yourself "Well I busted my *** and couldn't have done any better," then I think your just fine. I myself could have done a lot better and I already regret it. I figure if you worked your hardest in high school you can work your hardest in college. If you really work there I am sure people will notice your efforts. And even if they don't YOU know what you do and that in and of itself should keep you fulfilled.

Oh and don't worry about other people. Others are always quick to judge and criticize others when they have no idea how much they are going through. I think it's very disappointing that they talk like that in your own family though. I really don't know how I would handle that so I can't really give any advice to anyone else.

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[FONT="Franklin Gothic Medium"]I'm saddened to hear about your struggles, Lunox. It sucks to know that you've worked so hard to get into those dream schools and it didn't work out. I've learned that kind of lesson before the hard way. Sometimes, things just don't work out the way we want them to, no matter how hard you try to make them happen that way. But I hope you learned that perseverance through problems will show others what kind of person you are. Even if you never go to an Ivy League school or what have you, your personality of never giving up on your dreams will mean a lot more than some slip of paper from Emory.

Right now I attend New Mexico State University and I'm paying my own way through college. I'm working two jobs and juggling friends, school and that all at the same time. It's a rough life, but I'd rather do it this way than anything else. It will give me the real world skills I need to get through life's tougher challenges...so take that as food for thought. [/FONT]

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I am far from an academic. I don't like school work, I don't like classes, and I hate homework. Needless to say, I only did moderately in high school, C's and B's mostly. But I'm okay with that. Because at the same time, I had fun. I have alot of memories I enjoy and I met alot of people who are still important to me there. I knew alot of people who threw themselves into it and spent almost all there time studying or going about some school related project. They always used to tell me that they still had fun, but I also know that they never had the experiences they did.

And in the end I watched what happend to happen to many of them. It was like watching a train wreck. They became inconsoleable, like a part of them had died. I know it may have been wrong for me to pity them for this, but I did. I watched them fall apart and as I left to begin my military career. Most I have lost touch with and I have no idea whatever came of them.

My life hasn't been the best and I probably don't have the brightest future. Probably not even as bright as most of yours, but I can atleast say that I'll be happy with it. So long as I have my friends and family with me I know that even if I end up sweeping the halls of some high school, I'll be alright. There are worse things to be and worse places to be.

The most important thing is not school, or even your job. If your president of the united states and still unhappy, then what was all this time you've spent working for about. I guess that's all I'm really trying to say. Just be happy, that's all you really need. Trust me, I'd be thrilled to get into a state college with my school track record.

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[QUOTE][FONT=Arial]I think UGA will be better for you in the long run. Much less snobbery to deal with, and a solid education as well. Besides, just 'cause a person graduates from Ivy League doesn't mean they automatically know what they're talking about.

If your parents can't deal with that, then that's a shame, but it's ultimately their issue and not yours. They shouldn't have to milk [I]you[/I] for [I]their[/I] prestige.[/FONT][/QUOTE]There isn't much more to add since I agree with this sentiment completely.

As hard as all that was for you at least your decision now will be with, as you put it, your mind in its right place. Besides, flabbergasting your parents and friends can be a lot of fun. I'm not kidding either, it's hard to seperate what you really want vs what others expect you to want.

That and it's even more satisfying to make that choice having a better grip on understanding what [I]you[/I] want, which is what really matters.

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