Roxie Faye Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [color=#9933cc]So my pseudo-philosophical question goes something like this: Why do PDAs (public displays of affection) exist? Why do we engage in them? What do they mean? Is it because we want the whole world to know whom we love? Is it because we can't keep our hands off the other person? What is it, for you? Personally, I always thought of PDAs as a form of bragging. I've never really had a lot of boyfriends, and I feel like society places such a *huge* emphasis on being with someone that I always thought of PDAs as sort of a... "hah! I finally have someone, so there." Which also explains why I dislike PDAs - they just remind me that I'm still single. XD And yes, maybe you think that's a horribly selfish way to think, but it's the truth and I won't lie. [size=1]Disclaimer: It's really late, and I tend not to think straight at these hours.[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eleanor Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [font=trebuchet ms] I don't mind PDA. I agree with you on the "bragging" aspect, but I don't mind it because I would do the same thing too. lol[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Webb Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I think some public displays are okay, but others need to be done in private. It's okay to kiss, hug, and all that stuff in public, but nobody wants to see you reach second base. That's just awkward to see. Go home for that stuff, or at least find a nearby bathroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeLarge Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [quote name='Manic Webb']I think some public displays are okay, but others need to be done in private. It's okay to kiss, hug, and all that stuff in public, but nobody wants to see you reach second base. That's just awkward to see. Go home for that stuff, or at least find a nearby bathroom.[/quote] [SIZE=1]Quoted for truth. I kiss and hug my girlfriend in public because I don't feel the need to hide that sort of thing away - people (usually older people) still give us funny or disapproving looks, but I could give a flying monkey. Everything else, though, is saved for "private time".[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horendithas Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [COLOR="Indigo"][FONT="Arial"]I guess my biggest question is why not? Unless someone is doing more than simple hand holding, kissing or hugging, I don't really see a problem with it. As for the perceived bragging aspect, I say perceived since I don't believe that all couples are only doing it to brag... Anyway, I can only speak for myself obviously. But bragging has nothing to do with it. The times I've held hands or hugged or kissed someone in public, not once did I think, oh that person over there is single... time to show off! However, right now my slant on it is rather biased. I'm engaged and very happy about that fact. I'm not ashamed of it at all and feel no need to pretend otherwise or restrain from those few times when I'll show it. Naturally I still think anything beyond simple stuff should be private, but the rest of the time, I'm not going to worry over whether or not someone might be jealous over it. I know I'm not looking for opportunities to show off, just as I know I'm not deliberately doing it a lot either. If someone sees it otherwise, that's their problem not mine.[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [size=1]I so wouldn't run home everytime I wanted to kiss/hug someone for the courtesy of others. I agree that there's a limit but, unfortunately, my current group of friends are very open and we hang out in a bar that knows us. So you do often get those joking 'hands down pants' things going on >_<;;. Outside, though, or in a place I don't know I wouldn't be like that. Not normally at least. Hypocritical of me? Whhhhy nooot.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezekiel Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [SIZE="1"]As with everyone else, I don't see a problem with hugging and kissing. Also, I don't see it as bragging. The point of being with a person isn't to think OH GOD I MUST HIDE OUR LOVE FROM THOSE WHO ARE WATCHIIIING. It's to show each other with subtle affection that you care, and exactly to NOT be ashamed/worried/nervous/whatever about doing so in public. Saying that, you do get couples who are, quite obviously, trying to show off. I have seen some, usually older, clinging to each other as they walk down the street, grinning at anyone who looked their way. But, you know, it's their right. More power to them if they have someone to shop with and I don't.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [size=1]I just happen to like kissing the love of my life at any given time. :([/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japan Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I hate PDA period. I guess that seeing people make out in the halls and feeling eachother up in high school did that to me. The most I'll ever do is hold hands and hug. Everything else is private. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewmewlover55 Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I don't mind PDA. Unless it goes too far then.. erm.. GET A ROOM KAYTHANX! Now I'm remembering all of the PDA rules they made on our marching band field trip. Oh boy did that fail... But, yea, anyway. If it's just like little cute-sie stuff than it's fine for me ^_^. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachmaninoff Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Agreeing with the majority here, simple shows of affection are fine, anything else should be private. I don't really see it as bragging either. Mainly because those who do it for that reason don't represent the entire dating/married population. =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allamorph Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [FONT=Arial]I don't mind them. Quick parting or impromptu hug, hair ruffling, peck on the cheek or lips or whatever, it's just a thing. I am, however, tempted to stand and watch the next time I see a couple frozen in place murmuring to each other and having their own little silly make-out session in the middle of a lobby. I might even start cheering. Lewdly. I mean, ya know? Sheesh.[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinetix Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial] I might even start cheering. Lewdly. .[/FONT][/QUOTE] I think I'll join you on this endeavor. It sounds quite amusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunfallE Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"]They seem perfectly fine to me. It's only when people start going past a quick kiss, hug or holding hands that I roll my eyes and expect them to just get a room. Otherwise, what's the harm? Sure some might be doing it to brag but like [COLOR="Indigo"]Indi[/COLOR] said, for most, it probably doesn't even cross their minds. I know I never think that the few times I've been open about displaying it. Most of the time it's just a spontaneous kiss on the cheek or something, not a [I]must show off that I have a boyfriend[/I] type of deal. Anyone who thinks otherwise obviously does not know me. [/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allamorph Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [FONT=Arial]Afterthought to you people who seem to feel like people are parading their partners around in front of you.... ...have you ever considered it might be your jealousy souring your attitude, and not their ostentation?[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retribution Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]...have you ever considered it might be your jealousy souring your attitude, and not their ostentation?[/FONT][/QUOTE] [font=Arial]This is probably the best call of the entire thread. Win. I'm personally willing to admit I'm jealous of couples doing their thing. But I guess I don't mind PDA enough to really fuss about it. The only thing that gets me annoyed is being single on Valentine's Day.[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eleanor Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 [quote name='Retribution'][font=Arial] I'm personally willing to admit I'm jealous of couples doing their thing. But I guess I don't mind PDA enough to really fuss about it. The only thing that gets me annoyed is being single on Valentine's Day.[/font][/QUOTE] [font=trebuchet ms] This Valentine's Day is going to suck. lol[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabrina Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 [FONT="Tahoma"]I've always thought displays of affection were fine so long as they weren't more than say a kiss or a hug. It's only when it's more than that do I think it should be in private. Otherwise, if someone is objecting, whether the couple in question is bragging or not, you're just showcasing your jealousy if you are single, in my opinion. I honestly don't notice if anyone is watching when I kiss my boyfriend on the cheek. o_O I wouldn't even know if someone was single or not. The only ones you can really tell, if their partner isn't around, is those who are married and therefore have a ring, or those who are engaged since they too are often wearing a ring. Be that as it may, I simply do not think to look at people's hands and see if they have a ring or not before I kiss or hug my boyfriend, and seriously, why should I? That kind of makes it pointless if you ask me. I'm not doing that to upset anyone, I do it because I care. And if you're wondering, I was not bothered by it during those times when I've been single. The only time it found it disturbing was when they were doing more than a simple hug or kiss. At that point, get a room. kthx. [/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdsy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 [color=deeppink]If people [I]don't[/I] engage in these public displays of affection, does that mean they're ashamed?[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxie Faye Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 [quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]Afterthought to you people who seem to feel like people are parading their partners around in front of you.... ...have you ever considered it might be your jealousy souring your attitude, and not their ostentation?[/FONT][/QUOTE] [color=#9933cc]That's what I said in my original post. Not gonna lie, totally jealous. But from the responses I've been getting here, the reason people engage in PDAs is because, well, duh, they're really into the other person. And I can't begrudge someone that (even if I am jealous - does that make sense?). I just hate that society (or biology, take your pick) is all about finding someone to be with, and if you don't have anyone, you're some kind of failure. *This* is why I hate Valentine's Day. In the words of Lunox, [/color][quote name='Lunox'][font=trebuchet ms] This Valentine's Day is going to suck. lol[/font][/QUOTE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allamorph Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 [quote name='Roxie Faye][color=#9933cc']I just hate that society (or biology, take your pick) is all about finding someone to be with, and if you don't have anyone, you're some kind of failure.[/color][/quote] [FONT=Arial]I don't agree with that, personally. I haven't actively participated in Valentine's Day in a long time, but I do remember back in grade school the fun I had just making wallpaper-sample cut-out hearts for whoever I could think of, and I know plenty of people my age who do the same thing even now. Certainly Valentine's Day is more [I]special[/I] when you have a significant other, but that doesn't meant that if you lack one you're automatically deprived of the spirit of the day. And actually, I'll probably not have anyone special of my own to celebrate with, at least for many years to come. Then again, I take my pleasure often from watching others enjoy themselves. Might seem a bit melancholic, but it makes me happy in its own way.[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 [quote name='Lunox'][font=trebuchet ms] This Valentine's Day is going to suck. lol[/font][/QUOTE] ...Wow.:o I just started crying after reading this... I WANT SOMEONE TO SNUGGLE, DAMMIT!!!:animecry: Yes, agreed... But I've got nothing against PDA's. Actually, it's sort of fun to watch people suck each others' brains out through their mouths.:catgirl: Amusing, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryanna Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 [COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Tahoma"]This topic, whenever and wherever it's brought up, always makes me giggle. Mainly because I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not really interested in one either. So with that in mind... why would I care? I do agree that beyond a hug, kiss or something simple... They should keep the other stuff private. But that's about it. =P[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I don't mind a small amount of PDA... Holding hands is fine. Small kisses on the cheek, I can handle. More than that, and I feel awkward. And not because I'm jealous, but because it reminds me that I'm lonely. :'( The same way, if I had a significant other, I wouldn't do more than hold hands in public because then I would feel awkward. Why do people do it? IDK, maybe they're just more comfortable. I don't think everyone does it to brag, but I'm sure some do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMNOMNOMALY Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 [quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]Afterthought to you people who seem to feel like people are parading their partners around in front of you.... ...have you ever considered it might be your jealousy souring your attitude, and not their ostentation?[/FONT][/QUOTE] [FONT="Garamond"]Well of course, but they sure aren't helping! :3 I jest. Maybe. =P I share the same sentiment as most, it really doesn't matter unless it's brutally excessive and inappropriate for the time and place. For example, it became very annoying with the couple directly next to me on the Skytrain were pretty hardcore making out for a really long time... from the time (probably before, really) I got on til the time they got off. It made me really uncomfortable, and made a few other people noticeably uncomfortable as well.[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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